Categories > Books > Harry Potter > What Now, Severus?

My name is Severus Snape

by Emilie_D 1 review

Meeting all over again.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: R - Genres: Romance - Characters: Snape - Warnings: [X] - Published: 2006-12-10 - Updated: 2006-12-10 - 4195 words - Complete

1Hot
Severus Snape strode through blowing snow toward a low, modern Muggle school building in America. Michael had said she normally left school around five o'clock. He was apprehensive. Nothing mattered more than this. With the Memory Charm intact, would she speak to him? He had tried to function normally, but in his dreams he would reach for her and wake, aching with loneliness.

He was alone in the dismal twilight, until the school doors flew open and a curly haired blond woman walked out. She carried a large cardboard box and was fumbling in her pocket as she headed for her van. He walked faster.

"Zelda," he said, slowing as he approached her.

She saw a skinny man wearing a black leather motorcycle jacket. He had long black hair and a thin, harsh-featured face. "How do you know my name?" she asked nervously. They were alone in the parking lot, and something about him set her nerves jangling.

She looked exhausted, he thought, and worry lines creased her forehead. "Michael sent me," he said in a soothing voice. Big wet flakes of snow clung to her curly hair and he restrained the urge to brush them away.

"Michael Fletcher? He's out of town, I haven't heard from him in ages. Where'd you see him?" She started walking toward the van again.

"In London recently. He asked me to come and see how you are." He paused, then asked slowly, "May I buy you a drink?" His muscles tensed with hope even as he saw apprehension in her sweet eyes.

His voice was so deep and sexy, she thought, intrigued by this strange man. If he's Michael's friend, he's probably gay, she thought, feeling irrationally disappointed. She saw Michael's face in those piercing black eyes and was somewhat reassured. "Who are you?" she asked weakly.

He offered his hand to her. "My name is Severus Snape."

&&&&&&&&&

The Blue Moon was packed with Happy Hour regulars when they pulled into the parking lot. Zelda glanced at the guy in the passenger seat and felt an odd flash of déjà vu. He hadn't spoken much since they got into the car and she had no idea what he wanted or why she'd said yes to a drink with him. She had tons of work and it had been a tiring week.

"We could go somewhere nicer," she offered, a bit embarrassed by the shabby little building with the silly neon moon. His precise British accent told her he probably had standards. She looked shyly at him. "This place is kind of a dump."

The black eyes lit with a hint of amusement. "It is perfect," he murmured. "Please don't change your mind." Being with her, even like this, had the most amazing effect on him. Joy kindled deep inside him and, although he must proceed cautiously, he felt alive.

Zelda inhaled sharply. His voice and those compelling black eyes ignited a slow burn low in her belly, something quite unexpected. Ms. Larsson, the original dried up old hag, did not feel desire for strange men. Her heart began pounding and she wanted to run away, but that was ridiculous. She'd agreed to this so she could hear about Michael. "Okay, but one drink and then I have to go."

"Very well," he replied. Instinctively he grasped her arm when she slipped on a patch of ice. He felt her gasp and wondered if, even through layers of winter clothing, she felt the spark between them.

The bar was warm, smoky and full. Severus saw a couple sitting at precisely the table he wanted. He fixed his eyes on them, so that they obediently tossed down their drinks and rose to leave.

"Over here," said Zelda, racing to claim the table. "Sit down, I'll be right back." She took off her sensible winter coat, tossed it over a chair and went off behind the bar.

Severus pondered the difference between his Zelda in the summer and her teacher persona. She was dressed like a sensible, grown woman, he thought, intrigued, yet still with something of his quirky girl. She returned holding a plastic dishpan and a rag, and proceeded to clean the table.

"I know it's silly," she said with a self-deprecating smile. "But they're so busy and I didn't want to wallow in someone else's mess for twenty minutes." She returned everything and came to sit down across from him. 'We'll get served quickly now."

"Hey, Zelda," said a waiter who appeared out of nowhere. "What'll you guys have?"

She smiled at Severus and said, "I'll have a glass of the Chianti. We'll also share an appetizer platter, the big one with the potato skins and the little pizza thingys." The guy looked half starved, so she hoped he wouldn't mind sharing some snacks with her.

"Chianti is fine," said Severus, nodding dismissal at the waiter.

The waiter left and they were alone.

"I hope the food's okay. I had a parent meeting that ran into my lunch hour, so I'm totally starved," she said quickly. And I need something to do with myself besides stare at you, she thought nervously.

He merely smiled into her eyes and nodded.

The wine came immediately. Zelda hastily gulped too much of it and felt it burn down her throat.

Severus sipped his wine and wickedly enjoyed her nervousness. She felt the connection between them, he was sure. Even if she never recovered her memories of the summer, he swore he would win her all over again and enjoy every second as he did so.

"Tell me about Michael. What's he doing in London?" she asked, acting desperately casual.

"Helping to rehabilitate a group of war veterans," replied Severus. "He is considering moving there, but says he'll return here again soon."

A pang of loss swept through her, followed by confusion. She and Michael had shared some important things, but always avoided becoming too close. So why did she feel like she was losing her best friend?

"How do you know Michael?" she asked, a suspicious gleam in her eye. "You're not the reason he's moving, are you?"

A snort escaped Severus and he strove fiercely to keep from laughing. Why in Merlin's bloody name did people assume he was gay? In his youth it horrified him, but now, it simply struck him as completely absurd that Zelda could wonder.

"No, I am not the reason," he said sternly. "Michael has found a most rewarding relationship, however." He paused, and then asked mildly, "Do I appear gay to you?"

The arrival of their food gave her time to stifle her relief and think of an acceptable answer. She bit into a potato skin and said, "I try never to assume. My so-called gaydar isn't great."

"Neither is mine, and like you, I prefer not to speculate without facts," he said, sipping again at his wine. He caught her eye and held it for a moment, his heart racing as a blush crept up her cheeks. "Michael sent this for you." He pulled a letter from an inside pocket of his jacket and gave it to her, brushing her fingers as he did so.

Dear Zel,

Sorry I haven't been around lately, but I'll see you soon.

My buddy Severus needs a place to stay, please take care of him. Contrary to the sexy Goth/Vampire look, he's no danger to you.

Talk to you soon, babe,

Michael


The thought of this man staying in her house made her knees quiver. She gulped and looked up, surprising a hopeful look on his stern face. "Were you going to ask me?" she asked, frowning slightly.

"I thought perhaps you needed Michael's introduction," he said calmly. He began to eat the strange bits of finger food on the platter, and realized he was extremely hungry.

It must be the wine having this dizzying, mad effect on her, she realized. She watched him devour the entire collection of food with a pleased smile as she sipped the last mouthful of her wine. "We could eat ourselves sick on this stuff, or have dinner at my house, since you're staying," she offered tentatively.

Startled at her friendly tone, he looked up and gazed at her. "Dinner sounds delightful." He stood up, assisted her with her coat, tossed a fifty-dollar bill on the table and ushered her toward the door. Once outside, he offered his arm to her on the way to the car.

Zelda felt oddly carefree. She must be lonelier than she thought if the idea of this stranger's visit was so delightful. She clutched his arm tighter when she slipped on a patch of ice, looked up at him and asked, "By any chance, do you cook?"

"Of course I do," he murmured, smiling into her startled blue eyes.

The van pulled into the garage and the big door closed smoothly behind it. Loud barking began, making Severus wonder if Rowena would remember him.

"I hope you like animals," she said. She opened the kitchen door and tried to grab the dog, but wasn't quick enough.

Severus waited for the onslaught. Rowena was bursting with health and very handsome. She had outgrown the last of her puppyish look, but still she leaped on him enthusiastically and began licking his face. He rubbed and petted her everywhere he could reach, until suddenly she was pulled away.

"I'm so sorry!" Zelda exclaimed. "Usually she's very well behaved."

They went into the house, and Severus knelt to greet Rowena again. "What a fine dog." He rose and looked around. He had not been here since the first days they were together, but it was the same. Memories filled his mind and it was all he could do to keep from dragging her straight to the bedroom.

But Zelda had gone to the refrigerator and was searching for food. He peered over her shoulder and had an idea.

"Zelda, just order a pizza. You have what we need for a salad, I see."

She stood up and finding him standing close behind her, jumped back a step and bumped into the refrigerator shelves. "That's a great idea," she said breathlessly.

While she phoned for a pizza, Severus assembled a salad and found a bottle of wine. He opened it magically and poured two glasses. Discreetly he added a few drops from a tiny vial to one, which he handed to her when she came back to the kitchen.

"That was quick," she said, seeing that there was nothing left to do but drink her wine and wait for the pizza. She took a sip and felt suddenly lightheaded and worried, as if she'd forgotten something extremely important. She swayed on her feet.

Severus was watching closely. He steadied her gently and said, "Sit down and have some salad, Zelda. Perhaps you should eat something before you drink any more."

Distracted, she ate dinner in a daze, wondering what she'd forgotten. She was barely aware that a stranger was with her, subconsciously she felt safe with him. When he suggested that she go to bed, she went obediently, a puzzled frown on her face.

Severus cleaned up the kitchen, fed the cats and spent a short time with the dog. Perhaps it was pathetic to be fond of an animal, but Rowena was part of his brief happiness with Zelda. It was pleasing to be adored by her and he found it... nice... to stroke her and look into her expressive brown eyes.

"I see that you took care of Zelda," he said as he stroked her warm fur. "Good dog." They dozed together on the couch, while Severus waited to see if the potion would ease the constraints on her memory.

Suddenly, Rowena's head went up and she whined. Severus heard it then. Zelda was moaning in her sleep. Arriving at the bedroom just as Zelda screamed, he flung open the door. Her sightless eyes were open and she was sitting bolt upright, panting and sobbing, struggling as if trying to stand. He could not bear it, so he climbed onto the bed and gathered her against his heart, where she belonged.

"Sweetheart, you are safe," he murmured. He kissed her hair and held her, rubbing her back as she had done for him in the past.

Her racing heart slowed as Zelda realized subconsciously that, whatever she'd forgotten, maybe it wasn't too late. Her eyes closed and she snuggled close to his comforting warmth.

He could not leave her while she was so frightened, although he worried whether she would forgive him when she woke up. He Vanished all but his pants and pulled the comforter over them both. Instinctively, her head nestled against his neck as it always had. He cupped a hand lovingly under her bum, pressed his face into her hair and went to sleep.

Hours later, Zelda stirred. Her head was fuzzy. She felt cozy and safe, but confused. Then she realized her cheek was pressed against a man's chest and her leg was slung over his body. She was instinctively rubbing herself against a magnificent erection. "No!" she shouted in a panic. She flung herself backward off the bed, pulling her nightgown down and fumbled for the phone.

"/Accio wand/," a man said. "/Lumos/."

A small light blinded her and Zelda froze. She saw the man's face... it was Severus, the one Michael said was no danger to her. She began remembering bits of the evening before. He disturbed her, but she didn't know why, except that he was in bed with her. She began backing toward the door.

"Wait, my girl," he commanded. "I must speak with you. If you wish me to leave afterward, I will do it."

He was bare-chested, she saw, stopping without realizing it. Thin as a rail, with whipcord muscle, he was the sexiest thing she'd ever seen. "/Who are you/?" she croaked.

He turned on a bedside lamp and put down his wand on the nightstand. "Sit down there. I will not touch you," he said, lowering his voice. "Please. There are things I must tell you."

Gingerly she sat down across the bed from him. Her eyes were dazed and frightened.

"Zelda," he murmured, unsure where to begin. He must convince her quickly. On impulse, he picked up his wand and conjured a single, fragrant red rose. He held it out to her and she took it, staring confusedly.

"How did you do that?" she asked faintly, sniffing at the perfect blossom and finding it real.

"I am a wizard, my girl. You know me, but you are under a Memory Charm which made you forget our time together last summer."

One eyebrow rose skeptically. "How exactly were we /together/?"

He smirked wickedly. "Shall I refresh your memory?"

Goddess, he was so /hot/, she thought, struggling for composure. "Um, are you... forgettable? I remember last summer, it was completely ordinary /and you weren't there/."

"You and Michael became involved in the affairs of my world and a lunatic Obliviated you. I was not present when they created a false memory for you," he said urgently. "Let me show you."

"How?"

I cannot break the Memory Charm, but I can show you some of my memories," he said. "Look into my eyes, please."

Zelda looked reluctantly into his eyes. She hated doing this, seeing things she didn't want to know about people. She didn't think to ask how he knew she could do it. When she saw his memory of making love to her in her own bed, she groaned in disbelief, although she was certain it was real.

"How can I not know you?" she asked fearfully.

"It is a long story. But if you want me to, I will go. I told you once that I would never compel you."

She saw that it was true, he would indeed go. She relaxed slightly.

"But I love you, Zelda," he said softly. "Please let me stay with you."

Tears sprang into her eyes when she saw that he meant it. "What do you expect? What do you want from me?" she asked.

"I expect nothing, but I hope... for much," he said. "I have wanted, since I first saw you today, to kiss you. It has been a long, lonely time, without you."

She stood up and walked slowly around to his side of the bed, staring fixedly at him. He rose and waited, and his black eyes were filled with concern. She raised a hand to his cheek, stroking his scar with her thumb. He quivered at her familiar gesture and when she saw how much it mattered to him, she stood on tiptoe, put her arms around his neck and touched her lips to his. It felt perfect, like coming home.

"Severus?" she gasped in confusion as his arms locked around her. "Does the body remember differently from the mind?" Her hands moved over his bare torso instinctively. They knew him, even if she didn't. She remembered waking to find her body craving him.

He stopped kissing her and murmured, "Of course it does. You do know me, don't you?"

"It feels like I do, but I don't," she whispered shakily. She looked pleadingly up at him. "Refresh my memory, please." Her hand moved easily over his warm skin and impulsively she licked his chest. Then she looked up into his eyes and was slightly reassured by his faint smile. She sank onto the bed, pulling him down with her.

He reached for his wand and said, "/Evanesco/." He smiled at her look of shock at their sudden nakedness, but murmured, "Do not think." He wrapped his arms around her and did not move for long moments, content to feel her heart beating against his. This was what he had craved. "I have missed you," he whispered. "My sweet girl."

"You're warm," she said softly. "I've felt so cold."

"My darling," he murmured, smiling blissfully as he held her. Eventually his mouth found her nipple and he sighed with contentment as he teased it with his tongue. The sensation of coming home drew him on, touching and tasting. "Ah, Zelda..." he whispered.

Zelda whimpered blissfully and stroked his long hair as he suckled at her. When her confused memories shut down and her body remembered his touch, it was obvious that Severus was the essential she'd forgotten. He switched to her other breast and the fire in her belly intensified. She let go of her doubts and allowed her body to recognize him, discovering that his touch felt blessedly familiar.

He ceased kissing her for a moment as he prepared to penetrate her and gazed into her eyes. "I love you, my Zelda," he murmured as he teased his way deliciously into her.

"Severus," she whispered. She wondered how her body could have forgotten this amazing lover, and she wrapped her legs around his waist and lost herself in sensation. She wept when her orgasm claimed her, although she didn't know why. She wept again when, reluctantly, he pulled out of her and held her close.

"Zelda?" he whispered, worried by her tears. His pleasure at reclaiming her sexually could not overcome his anxiety. "What is wrong?"

"How well do you know me?" she asked, gulping back a sob. "I've never... in all the years of my life, no one's ever touched me like you did. How can I not remember /you/?"

"Sweetheart, we were only together for a matter of weeks, but you are a most generous, passionate woman and we were, ah, very... persistent." He touched his lips to the crease between her eyebrows and rubbed his nose against hers. "We have known each other... completely."

"Really?" she asked, giggling faintly at such a ridiculous idea.

"You have been in my thoughts every day that I was away from you."

She kissed the tip of his large, imposing nose. "What's wrong?" she asked, confused when he started slightly.

He was so moved that he paused to control his voice. "Nothing. But you kissed my nose."

"So?" she asked lightly. "Your nose is splendid."

His eyes were serious. "You are the only person on Earth who feels that way, and you kissed it frequently when we were together." He wrapped the comforter snugly around them both and looked penetratingly into her eyes.

A wave of tenderness rushed through her as she saw memories of grief and wrenching loneliness in his dark eyes. She wished she could remember him. "What now, Severus? Where do we go from here?"

"You must be released from the Memory Charm, but without damaging your mind. When you can remember us, my girl, all will be well. I swear it. But it is difficult and will take time. Some of the memories are tragic and you could be harmed by forcing them."

He held her close, wishing he could make it easier. Her arms went around him so naturally, and they lay together for a thoughtful time.

"Can't you just tell me everything?" she asked slowly. "Some of it must be good, since you're the most amazing lover I can imagine."

"Not at once. There is a great deal," he said somberly. "I realize that I am a stranger to you, yet I ask you to trust me."

She discovered that she was massaging his buttock without even being aware of it. "Not exactly a stranger," she said dryly. "My hands have a memory of their own."

He kissed her. "A most excellent memory." He ran his fingers through her bright hair. "Zelda, will you let me stay with you, while we find a solution?"

"Don't you have a job?" she asked curiously.

"I was a teacher for fifteen years, but at present I am, ah... at liberty," he murmured mockingly. "Another thing you knew before the Memory Charm. I assure you though, that I shall not be a burden." He kissed her bare shoulder and neck.

Her eyes sparkled with sudden mischief and she playfully traced the trail of black hair down his belly with her fingers. He made her want to throw away her fears and just adore him. She wrapped her hand around his rapidly hardening erection and said, "Let me get this straight..." She stroked firmly as she spoke. "I'd go to work every day, as usual, but instead of an empty house, I'd come home to /you/?"

"That... is my idea, yes," he replied, as that talented hand began to make him very happy. "If you agree."

"So... I'll do my work and when I want to play, you'll be here?" she asked.

"At your beck and call," he replied, thrusting enthusiastically into her hand.

"Did I ask if you cook?" she asked distractedly, changing position and licking firmly along the length of him.

"I cook brilliantly," he gasped. "And if I'd never done it before I would learn, so you'll keep doing that. Sweet Merlin, my girl, I have missed you terribly."

A depressing thought occurred to her. "Severus," she said, still stroking with her hand, but looking into his eyes with a slight frown. "Why would you want /me/? You're sexy, talented and you're a wizard. You can do better than me."

His eyes narrowed and he flipped her onto her back, pinning her hands above her head. He pressed her legs apart with his knees and teased at her, slipping in and out a scant inch.

"I will not hear a reprise of your low self esteem, Madam," he hissed, pausing to bite her earlobe. "It took far too long to convince you the first time."

Zelda stared in amazement at his remarkable statement. "But..." she began.

He kissed her hard enough to bruise her mouth. "You're beautiful and perfect for me. If you refuse me I shall become a hermit in a filthy cave and masturbate miserably, pining for you for the rest of my wretched life." He nipped her breast and then sucked fiercely at the familiar spot on her neck. It was long past time for him to mark her as his own again.

Zelda half-heartedly tried to squirm free, but only served to allow him greater access to her body as he maneuvered her legs wider apart. She felt stunningly, deliciously vulnerable.

He released her neck and kissed her mouth again, plunging deeper into her. He thrust hard and paused. "Do you doubt that I desire you?"

"No," she gasped, and was rewarded by a passionate kiss.

Another thrust. "You are the most adorable woman I ever imagined. You are perfect for me. Do you believe me?"

"Yes," she murmured dreamily, entranced by those passionate black eyes.

"Good girl," he purred. "I shall release your hands now, pet, and I want no more pathetic insecurity from you."

Their arms locked around each other and they made love fiercely. Afterward, as Zelda drowsed in his arms, Severus used the euphoric Healing Charm to craft her hickey into the familiar S. There were many challenges ahead, but he had some time now to work things out. Now, finally he was with Zelda, so he was content.
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