Categories > Original > Humor > This is the story of a squirrel

This is the story of a squirrel

by CodeWordLove 2 reviews

Yeah, this is for Frosted Glass and all you other people who read my first story. They are related so read it first, and this will make more sense. Only the first chapter is up but there will be mo...

Category: Humor - Rating: PG - Genres: Drama, Humor - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2006-12-13 - Updated: 2006-12-14 - 700 words

It was sunny. Too sunny. I'm a squirrel so that means I'm supposed to like sun right? Well you 're dead wrong! I hate the sun I hate light in general. That's why I took the secretarial job for the dog council, it gave me an excuse to sleep all day and work at night. I can't help it if I'm a strange squirrel.
"Chipper...Chipperee! Oh lovely vampire squirrel?" a voice called from below my tree.
"Go away Snuggles!" I yelled rather rudely to the hedgehog that was at the bottom of my tree.
"Is that any way to talk to a friend?" Snuggles said in mock horror.
"Well no, so it's a good thing you aren't my friend." I snapped back .
"Oh that hurts Chips. It hurts me right in the heart." the obnoxious hedgehog said with faux sadness in his voice.
"What heart...oh you mean that bottomless pit some one told you passed as one!" I called back down.
"Funny, now get your furry little ass down here!" Snuggles growled.
"Fine." I resigned myself to having to go down and see what the nasty little creature wanted before I could get back to my sleep.
I scampered down the tree to stand in front of Snuggles. Yes, that is his name, and no I have no idea why. This thing was as prickly in personality as his quills were in actuality.
"What do you want now?" I asked pissed off that it was before 3 and I was awake.
"Show some respect rodent !" he ordered.
"Ha you are too so don't start on that!" I threw back.
"Shut up squirrel!" Snuggles barked handing me a piece of leaf that had writing on it, "You've been summoned by the council."
And with that the bristly little fellow plodded off.
"stupid smug itchy thing." I muttered under my breath as he left.
"I heard that!" he bellowed without breaking stride.
"Damn it!" I snarled . I looked at the leaf after a few more minutes of internal cursing.

Chipper Greenspring,
Your presence is requested immediately at the Chicory Council. Do not make us send a guard after you; appear of your own will and power.
Thank you,
Grand Council Master A. Corn

Who the hell did they think they were my mother? I don't obey their orders. I crumpled the leaf up and tossed it aside like the piece of trash it was. I had began to climb back up my tree when I was grabbed from behind and unceremoniously tossed into a coarse bag. Damn council hadn't even given me a chance to come on my own they sent a guard to collect me from the get go. Bloody aristocrats! The ride was bumpy and I knew I was being carried over some ones shoulder and the squirrel was bulky .
The bag was opened and I was dumped on my ass in the middle of a polished wood floor.
"Chipper Greenspring how dare you defy our orders! You have already been accused of abusing your position with the dogs to influence events here in the neighborhood." a booming voice yelled at me.
"Hi Al, how are you. Oh no don't get up to help me off my ass after you had me kidnapped!" I snapped.
"You will respect the integrity of this council Chipper!" A female member ordered.
"You know you people have some nerve just plucking me up in the middle of the day . I should be asleep!" I screamed at the jerks.
"I think the council has seen enough! Chipper Greenspring you have been accused of treason; how do you plead?" the master squirrel asked.
"Not guilty! Duh!" I told them like the idiots they were acting like.
"Council, you have heard the case against him already. What say ye?" Al asked his fellow council squirrels.
The cry that went up was unanimously guilty.
"Chipper Greenspring you are here by banished from the lands under this councils rule. You have till dawn tomorrow to vacate the area." the master said then turned away.
"Wait this is fair..." I began but was thrown out the chamber doors by that same damn body builder squirrel.
I just got banished!!!!!!!!!
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