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Crevices


# 10 - Drink

"On the rocks or neat?" Tseng had asked and he had answered with a quick-and not at all squeaking-"Neat," as though he knew what he was talking about.


# 40 - Whisper

One morning, Tseng passed him on the stairs to his father's office, inclined his head, and leaned in close, breath stirring the hair near Rufus's ear and that single breath kept his body hard for the rest of the day as Rufus replayed the words contained in it over and over again.


# 16 - Cover

"You just be sure to keep your mind on your matters, Rufus, and be careful which of those little office tramps you're pulling to bed," the President said, "we've got a hard enough time with our PR without any of your little bastards running around."



# 45 - Eclipse

"He's put you with me to keep an eye on me for reasons other than protection, right," Rufus asked as they entered the elevator, and Tseng, pressing the button for the lobby, nodded, and said, "He wants to keep you in his shadow, Rufus-sama, and if he fails to do that, there's no one like a Turk to finish the job."


#34 - Formal

Try as he might, Rufus could never dissuade Tseng from his path as they passed one another in the Tower, on the way to the cafeteria, or the gym, or out on this or that errand; despite the looks Rufus gave him, the quick touches, and later on the dirty words whispered when no one else was around, Tseng stayed unruffled, steady, and only on two occasions did Rufus catch sight of the faintest tremor in those long, slim fingers.


# 20 - Talent

"Do I even want to know how you learned to do that," Tseng asks, his breaths short, his face graced with that unique flush, and Rufus smiles, and licks the salt-taste off his lips, and says, "At least boarding school taught me something worthwhile."


#07 - Wings

Rufus never asked about Tseng's relationship with Sephiroth, he didn't need to, everything he needed to know could be found in the single silver and black wing that gleamed on the flesh of Tseng's left hip, in the way Tseng hissed when Rufus ran his tongue over the ink of the feathers.


# 11 - Midnight

All he could see beneath the green and silver Carnival mask Tseng wore was the glint of brown eyes and the curve of a supple mouth as the Turk drew close, compelled by the 12th chime of the Midgar clock tower and the burst of fireworks that showered the city in gold.


# 15 - Silk

That first time-with Tseng's warm hands in the small of his back and that black hair slipping across his hips and that oh-so-hot mouth-and-smooth tongue on him-he found himself reconsidering the value of sensory deprivation as he pulled the scarf from his eyes.


# 01 - Ring

The ring was gold, slim, and engraved with a pattern of Wutain characters Rufus vaguely recalled but didn't understand; "It means luck," Tseng said, seeing his confusion, "and it's yours."


# 32 - Farewells

Rufus ran his fingers over the mako studded leather and removed the tuft of fur that had gotten caught in the metal when he'd withdrawn the collar from Dark Nation's neck and Tseng, watching as he let the fur fly from the helicopter door, spoke softly, "You've said your farewells, then?"


#29 - Dance

He didn't sleep well the night Tseng headed for the Temple of the Ancients, he missed the feel of the warm body beside him, the length of fingers trailing over his naked hip, up his spine, around the clavicle and down the curve of his torso only to start all over again.


# 46 - Gravity

It was the strangest of sensations, that heady feel of falling, when Rufus knew, logically, that his feet were on firm ground and the weight of the world was around him...but everything that had once anchored him was serrated by the voice relaying condolences from the other end of that transmitter.


# 31 - Sacred

Tseng didn't know how long it had taken him-he wasn't even sure how he got there, how he'd managed to pass unscathed through the maze and the creatures that inhabited Temple-but he woke up, for lack of a better expression, leaning against the altar, his blood trickling into the many cracks and crevices that surrounded the keystone in its cradle.


#17 - Promise

Rufus tried the channel again and again, only to have white noise tumble out and Tseng's words come back to him then, harsh, mocking: /I don't make promises; I'll meet you in Junon/.


# 08 - Cold

Quite unexpected it was, after so many nights of having that warm, steady presence next to him, to wake up and find not even the faintest imprint on the sheets or that warm hum in the air that let you know someone has just left the room.


# 12 - Temptation

He'd been able to hold it together until he went into the bedroom where the bed was made with military precision, and the items on the dresser were precisely haphazard, and one of Tseng's shirts lay draped across the back of the armchair, and he picked it up, and held it to his face, and imagined he could smell the faintest scent of cologne instead of the fresh-water smell of fabric softener.


# 27 - Fall

/Sometimes you wake up/...but he was awake and he opened his eyes and saw the electric white light eclipse the Northeastern side of Midgar before everything descended into darkness.


# 28 - Forgotten

Rufus thought he heard the sound of voices tumbling through the rubble, disappearing and growing faint before they reached his ears, before he could get the most tentative grip on his voice and respond.


# 30 - Body

Tseng, unable to open his eyes-despite how he tried-relied heavily on his ears him aware of the world and experienced the sharp edge of that awareness as he overheard the nurses with their low pitched, questing voices-/Midgar was practically leveled-I hear the tower's still half stand-You know the president was in-have they found the body yet/?


# 06 - Hurricane

What he thought had been the presence of storm winds rushing over the rubble above him, perhaps the fast and furious breath of an early season hurricane, was eclipsed by the whir of propellers and the sounds of voices shouting, "Here, he's here!"


#05 - Run

The voice on the other end of the line continued to speak even after he dropped the phone, turning to the window, mind buzzing-/alive, alive, alive/-and not for the first time in the last seventy-odd hours he cursed the uselessness of his legs that, even if they were mended, would not have bridged the distance between him and Wutai any faster.


#13 - View

The sight of the sun burning into the ocean clearly visible through the window was nothing compared to the view in front of Rufus, even though the image was tainted by the presence of the respirator, the slow beat of the heart monitor.


# 09 - Red

He'd lifted the covers and the edge of the gauze, intending only to take a peek but the sucking wound, dark at the edges and still red and wetly gleaming mesmerized him and he stared at it wondering how it was Tseng had made it through the jungle.


#26 - Ice

Gone was the golden sheen of Tseng's skin, the tint of health, and he lay pale and unmoving, but for the miniscule rise and fall of his chest, and when Rufus leaned down to press his face against his lover's cheek he was reminded of the last kiss he shared with his mother on the day of her funeral.


# 50 - Breathe

Rufus timed his own breath to the movement of the respirator-/click, hiss, click, hiss/-and he watched the rise and fall of Tseng's chest as he lay in the hospital bed, the steady background chirp of the heart monitor a constant and reassuring music.


# 35 - Fever

Tseng never dreamed, but lately the heat of his body trying so hard to heal the infected wound across his chest brought him images he'd rather tear his own eyes out than see-most of them involving Rufus dead or dying-and so on the evening he opened his eyes for the first time and saw the outline of blonde hair against the evening sun he knew the fever nightmares had passed and better dreams had come.


# 37 - Lies

Rufus pushed back the curtains, looked out over the glittering pagodas to the tumbling sea before turning his wheelchair back toward the bed as Tseng stirred and opened his eyes for the second time in as many days and he felt his lips curve very slightly, "You said you'd meet me in Junon."


# 14 - Music

And when Tseng spoke that evening, voice rough from disuse and fainter than Rufus had ever heard it, he still found it the most fluid and glorious melody he'd ever heard.


# 39 -- Overwhelmed

Rufus perched on the edge of the bed as Tseng's hand tangled in his hair and didn't move for what seemed like hours or days but simply enjoyed the feel of now-warm fingers combing the hair back from his temple.


# 02 - Hero

"I never thought I'd hear those words from you...it's overrated, you know, heroism, I'd much rather have you here with the world in pieces than to have to put you back together just to go into some box meant for the earth."


# 23 - Fire

Sometimes Tseng wakes beside him, panting and reaching out for him, his dreams of destruction, of white flames, fueling the heat he says he can still feel pulsing through the scar across his chest.


# 22 - Journey

"A journey of a thousand miles..." Rufus muttered holding tightly to the parallel railings as he pulled himself out of his wheelchair, and Tseng, standing nearby, looked at him and said, "I could be satisfied with a few feet."


# 18 - Dream

Sometimes, when he closes his eyes, he sees Sephiroth and Tseng in the middle of the temple, Tseng whole and unmarked and standing so close to the dead general that only a line of light separates their forms, and it's him, Rufus, who has a chest full of metal so hot that he may as well have been cut down by fire.


# 04 - Box

"I know the other is lost somewhere in the Midgar rubble," Tseng said as he opened the small wooden box with the carving of Leviathan on the outside, revealing the slim golden ring with its intricate characters, "this one means life."


# 24 - Strength

Tseng fingered the white strands in his hair that had appeared nearly overnight and Rufus, behind him, leaned his face against Tseng's neck and murmured, "You earned each and every one of them, so wear them with honor."


# 36 - Laugh

"It's not that funny, Rufus," Tseng said as the nurse left and Rufus, somehow doubled over in his wheelchair, glanced up with the shine of tears in his eyes, grinned, and said "I didn't know you were afraid of needles."


# 41 - Wait

Waiting was never his strong point, but when Tseng saw Rufus rise, slowly, steadily, on shaking legs and take one trembling step toward him and then another, he decided that this time it was well worth it.


# 42 - Talk

"Talk," Tseng said, "Is cheap," Rufus interrupted, snagging the collar of Tseng's shirt and pulling Tseng down to his own height, "so why don't I prove that I'm all better?"


# 38 - Forever

"Sometimes I like to forget," Tseng said, rolling Rufus onto his back and throwing an arm across his lover's naked chest, "that we don't have forever."


# 19 - Candle

"It's tradition," Rufus said, placing the candle in the window, the light reflecting off the glass, and Tseng responded "Whose?" and Rufus, blinking at him, asked "Does it really matter, I doubt the dead worry about that."


# 43 - Search

Rufus was an early riser by trade, not by nature, and Tseng knew to be careful about his approach in the mornings, but when he found Rufus on the kitchen floor of the ShinRa mansion, rifling through cupboards, he couldn't help but ask, "What are you doing," and try to hold back a smile when Rufus, bleary eyed and scowling, turned to him and said, "Your bloody Turks drank the last of the coffee."


# 44 - Hope

"You know you'll be punished for that," Tseng, sitting at his desk, said, nodding to the folder he'd been purusing, now held in Rufus' hands as the blond moved just out of his reach, and Rufus, the corners of his mouth rising, said, "That's what I was hoping for."


#49 - Lock

What was left of the ShinRa tower was barricaded away, locked behind several miles of steel, with caution signs placed around the perimeter because who knows what kind of biological terrors might have been shared with the twisting metal when the laboratory plummeted through the lower stories.


# 21 - Silence

Rufus had never encountered this silence before, the thick oppressive veil of it hanging over the twisted metal and the jagged stone...even in those god-awful early morning hours, Midgar had constantly hummed with human energy.


# 33 - World

The canopy bearing the name Traviata still stood over the rubble of the building-once home to birthday gatherings and solstice celebrations and evenings intimate with drink and conversation and touch-that had caved in on one side when Midgar fell.


# 03 - Memory

Some things don't warrant recognition of their passing-places, people-while others call for a quiet requiem and Rufus, kneeling before the rubble that was once Traviata bowed his head and said "This was what I hung on to, you know, when I thought you were gone...you stood in that crumbled doorway and told me you didn't make promises."


#47 - Highway

The two lanes ended miles before the Midgar city limit in a jagged precipice and Rufus kicked a piece of asphalt over the edge as he turned to Tseng, "Kind of fitting isn't it, a road going nowhere?"


# 48 - Unknown

"What will you do now," Tseng asked him as they watched the machines raze what was left of the Tower, and Rufus shook his head, contemplated the rubble for a moment and said, "There are more things in heaven and earth...and I think I'm ready to try some of them out."