FicWad

Disclaimer; I do not own Fruits Basket.

Chapter One; Bad Dreams and Sad Memories

This was the seventh dream, all of them ending with Kyou's screams, all of them about Akito. Kyou couldn't help but shiver at the thought of him alone. Two weeks, it had been two weeks since Kazuma's visit , since Tohru learned the secret, since Tohru visited Akito. At first that's what the dreams were about, Kyou had been worried about about what happened to Tohru during the visit since he hadn't witnessed what had gone on. Akito would never allow Kyou to see him, at least, not to the knowledge of the rest of the family. The dreams were images of Akito with the various implements of torture he possessed, standing menacingly over Tohru. In the first dreams she screamed, called out to Kyou, called for Yuki and Shigure. In the third dream she stopped screaming and now just stood, eyes wide, paralyzed with fear. Then in the fourth dream she was bound and gagged, and in the fifth, she was gone. In every dream Kyou started out comfortable, at peace, and at the end completely shocked by a vision of Akito, screaming incoherently.

Kyou had retreated to the roof, his sanctuary, after this dream as he always did, it was just easier this way. Sure, it wasn't the right way to cure a chronic bad dream, but Kyou wasn't ready to tell anyone yet. If he told someone, he would have tell the whole story, why he was so afraid of Akito when he had teased Yuki about his fear , why Akito would ever be concerned with Kyou when he had never shown any interest in him before? It was a secret Kyou had repressed since he met Kazuma.

Flashback

"Kyou, it's time to go."

"What . . . huh?"

"Kyou, it's time to see Akito."

"Why mommy?"

"You have to. Kyou, whatever you hear, whatever he tells you, whatever he does to to you, forget it."

"Why mommy?"

"Because I want no bad memories for you, because I love you ."

"Mommy, it's dark outside."

"Shh . . . someone will hear you."

The rain falling that night held the same ice coldness that plagued Kyou's dreams. Kyou and his mother approached the main house, where Akito lived.

"Take the bracelet off him."

"Yes."

"Mommy, you said not to . . . "

"Hush."

She approached her son slowly, grabbed the beads from his wrist, and quickly turned her head, averting her eyes from the transformation of her cursed son.

"So this is the true form of the cat. Its not as frightening as I had expected. The rumors give it far too much credit."

"It's ugly, perhaps the ugliest thing I have ever seen.

"And the stench, it stinks like something dead and rotting."

Even as a child Kyou felt intense self-loathing when he was in this state. The transformation itself was painful, it felt as though his skin was stretching, to accommodate new and larger bones and muscles. His skin tingled with irritation, like a strange and corrosive ointment soaking his skin, burning the hairs from his flesh and turning his skin the sickly color of death and shadow. The large purple eyes watered with pain, feeling struck by pins. His smell repulsive even to himself. It also hurt intensely to see his mother turn from him with fear, when it was during these times that he needed someone the most. He knew it was selfish to want her to touch him or hold him, but he wished that she would at least acknowledge that he was still her son, that inside he was still her son, and she was his mother. All these horrible feelings were amplified by Akito's presence. He stood there, making harsh remarks, staring at Kyou like he was a specimen, looking straight through him as though he knew no better, as though he didn't know that there was a real human soul inside.

"Put the bracelet back on, and leave us."

Kyou's mother did so quietly, and left her one and only son in the hands of Akito.

"I should help purge you of true form . . . "

"First we'll get rid of the stench."

"But Akito, I'm not in my cursed form, I don't smell anymore."

Akito swiftly turned to Kyou and slapped him. Akito stared directly at Kyou, his eyes flashed with anger.

"I would have thought that spineless mother of yours had taught you some manners. You never argue with me. Any response will be directly requested and answered with a 'yes.'"

Kyou remained silent.

"Yes, I think you should start with a bath."

Akito led Kyou to the bathroom. The tub was filled about five inches deep.

"Stand there. Don't move."

Kyou did as told, tears already falling.

"Aww. I thought the little cat was tougher than that." Akito wiped a tear from Kyou's cheek with a surprising delicacy.

"I am tough." Kyou whispered. His hands clenched into fists.

"What did I tell you about speaking to me? How quickly the kitten forgets." Akito grabbed Kyou's fists and dug his nails into the palms, drawing blood.

"If you defy me again I'll have to get rough." Akito gently pulled Kyou's shirt from his pants, getting a hold on the hem before jerking it over Kyou's head. Akito dealt with Kyou's pants similarly, leaving Kyou nude. Kyou's tears were now flowing rapidly and he was sniffing deeply despite trying to hide how upset he was.

"Get in the bath, lay down, don't move, I'll be able to hear the splashes if you do." It was just about enough water to cover Kyou's body, but not enough to cover his face, allowing him to breathe. The water surrounding him chilled his body, made his flesh numb with cold, Akito didn't return for what seemed like hours. Kyou's mind spun, imagining what Akito would do to him, before the mundaneness of the situation and lack of stimulation caused him to hallucinate, he imagined shadows, ghastly figures approaching to do him some unspeakable harm.

Kyou returned to reality when he heard the true sound of Akito's footsteps on the tile floor.

"Get out of there."

There was a great splashing of water when Kyou stood, soon dying and leaving only silence in the house.

"Yes, this is suitable. Kyou, you are now clean.

"Oh, but the bath has left you rather cold, I know something that will get your blood flowing again."

Akito handed Kyou a cup. It was tea, but it had an odd smell to it.

"Drink it. Follow me."

It took several moments for Kyou's mind to register what had been said, and longer for his numb body to react. Akito now took Kyou to to another part of the house, a dark room, Kyous steps did not regulate, something in the drink Akito gave him kept him in a dreamlike state, numb and defenseless. After that Kyou slipped in and out of consciousness while Akito bound his limbs and examined his entire body, with only mild protest from Kyou, he was unable to think clearly.

Kyou's eyes shot open when he awoke to an intense pain. The first pain was Akito's length inside him, the second, a knife pressing into his back. Akito whispered into his ear, "You will never be a member of the zodiac, you will never be cured, but you are a Sohma, and therefore one of my own, I will give you a mark so that you won't forget."

"No! No! It hurts! Stop Akito, stop! I can't help being the cat, please, stop punishing me."

And then reality faded back into a blur while Kyou's mind was lost in the pain and his screams.

The last thing Akito said was "You are mine. No one else will know about this."

End Flashback

(Kyou's POV)

I had forgotten. Mom told me to forget. Akito said that no one else would know. I wanted to forget, I already had to deal with being the cat, no one needed to know that for one night I had been his little toy. I was so happy when I met Kazuma, that I put what had happened with my mother and Akito behind me, I was so content, overjoyed, he was the first person who really loved me. And Kagura, she's insane, but she gave me hope, hope that I could be seen as Kyou the cat, a member of the zodiac, not as the monster hiding in the body of a human. With the love of the two of them, Kazuma and Kagura, it was so easy to forget.

There was only one thing I had remembered,"You will never be a member of the zodiac." It haunted me, welled up anger inside me, drove me to hate the rat, giving me the idiotic notion that beating Yuki would solve all my problems.

I am such a fool.

I realized when I started living at Shigure's house how wrong I had been, that the zodiac members did have respect for me, they didn't whisper behind my back or ignore me like those old women at the compound, but I continued to believe that beating Yuki would cure me, make me accepted by everyone. When Kazuma came to Shigure's house, when he took the beads, I thought my life was over, I thought that they wouldn't be able to look me in the eye anymore, I thought I would have to leave Shigure's house, back to seclusion, isolation. I was afraid that Tohru would choose to forget. And when that sensation came back, the pain of the transformation, the memories came back. My mother, Akito, all the pain came rushing back. It hurt so much.

And then . . . and then they were there, Yuki and Tohru. But I didn't want, I didn't want their pity . . . I didn't want Tohru to be in the same pain that my mother, and Momiji's and Kana had gone through. But then . . . Yuki and Tohru, they touched me, held me, the disgusting, horrible monster, like my mother had never been able to. And the rain stopped, and the clouds cleared, and I felt all this love and relief and pure happiness surge through me, and I was back, I was human again, Yuki and Tohru stayed with me through the transformation, the storm. Then Tohru pledged that the three of us, we would stay together forever. At the time I thought I could be content.

The dreams were insistent, they told me that the acceptance of my true form was only the beginning.

I'm going to find a cure for the curse, I'm starting as soon as possible.