FicWad

A/N: italic = Pensieve memories


Tuesday, 29.12.1998 / Harry


We come home and find them all huddled over... Sirius' Pensieve. Oh dear! What could they be seeing in there? They tell us it's their first year at school, so Hermione and I are welcome to join them.

It's late evening in the dormitory. I can see the four beds around the walls, two opposite of two others, and I notice that Remus and Sirius have their beds next to each other and Sirius is opposite of Dad, while Remus is on the other side of Peter. They seem to be sleeping, but Sirius is awake, the hangings on his four poster slightly parted while he looks over to Remus' bed. There too, the curtains are parted for a bit. He looks tiny in the huge bed and only the top of his head, his eyes and his nose look out of the comforter. What a cute child that was. Sirius seems to think so, too, because he sighs, finally gets up and closes the curtains of Remus' bed again. He pads back to his own bed, pulls the curtains and covers himself. He's a pretty child, too.

The memory shifts to a morning in the dorm, they're waking up and Sirius opens the bed curtains to scream.

"Rise and shine, everybody, the day has started!"

He jumps out of the bed like a maniac, races around the dorm to pull the curtains on the other beds open, finally runs and is the first in the shower. I stay out of the bathroom and watch Remus, who opens his curtains fully, stretches while he sits up slowly and then moans.

"Darn it, Sirius, do you need to scream around every morning?"

Sirius is back from the shower only ten minutes later, a towel around his middle, sopping hair which he shakes out so the others will have their measure of the water in them and drops the towel to get some fresh underwear out of his cupboard. He doesn't seem to give a damn that he's completely naked. Remus stares at him, then gets up, picks up his clothes and is off to the showers himself, while James and Peter only just climb out of their beds.

"Morning, Sirius!" James yawns.

"Morning, James! Peter! Come on, guys, it's time, get dressed and come to breakfast!"

Morning person. Definitely. But that might have changed in the course of time, he's not that chipper in the morning anymore. Or is that because of the twins now?

Sirius waits for Remus to come from the shower, grabs his book-bag and the two of them climb down the stairs to the common room.

"We keep some places for you two slow-pokes!" Sirius calls, then they're off.

"Nutter!" James mutters and finds his way to the shower.

We all follow Sirius and Remus down the stairs. With his usual exuberance he pounds ahead down the stairs, through the Entrance Hall and into the Great Hall. Remus is fairly close behind him, though he does it with much more grace and elegance in his movements. Christ, it's no wonder, Sirius fell for him, he was such a beautiful child. There's not a bit of baby-fat remaining, he's slender, almost thin, though still very small. His face a perfect stretched oval, slightly pale and topped with neatly combed blond hair. They sit down next to each other, grab some bowls and fill their plates. Sirius piles about three pieces of toast next to his plate of scrambled eggs, bacon and sausages and digs in. Remus takes it slower and again he is so much more graceful, while he fills his plate and butters some toast. They've almost finished by the time my Dad and Peter have joined them at the table. Sirius talks of the day's classes. James thinks of pranking the Slytherins.

"If only we knew where their common room is..." Peter says.

"We could find out..." James says in a conspiratorial voice.

Sirius starts to grin. He looks positively thrilled and nods at James.

"Let's discuss that tonight in our dormitory, there's too many who could overhear us here..." he suggests.

"Yeah, that would certainly be better," Dad admits.

The memory dissolves and we're in the next one. They've returned to the dormitory and dropped their school things. Dad digs around in his trunk and brings forth the Invisibility Cloak. Remus stares at it.

"Is that what I think it is?" he asks in a hushed voice.

"Well, that depends on what you do think it is..." Dad says cheerfully.

"I'm thinking Invisibility Cloak..." Remus says.

James smirks, Peter looks up, surprised.

"Really? Wow, they're really rare! Where did you get it, James?"

"Yep, it's an Invisibility Cloak. I've already told Sirius that I have one and we've put it to good use at our old school once or twice..."

"...or a dozen times," Sirius butts in, laughing.

"My grandfather gave it to me. Said he needed to undermine my parents' efforts on bringing me up seriously for a bit. He was a bit of a mischief maker himself, you know. No idea why he never gave it to my Dad..."

"Come on, let's see if we can all be covered by it!" Sirius cries and jumps from the bed.

They are all still small enough that this is the case.

I laugh watching them trying to walk in a whole bunch.

"Funny eh?" Dad asks.

"Yep, absolutely. I think this thing is shrinking and growing depending on the amount of people who are using it. In our first year Hermione and I smuggled a baby dragon in a cage through Hogwarts underneath it."

"What?" Mum and Dad say as one.

"Story for some other time..." Hermione says.


The memory picks up a while later, the four boys are invisible, but since we are close they must be there somewhere. A group of Slytherins passes them and we're bound to follow the invisible four down the staircase to the dungeons. The Slytherins stop in front of a wall and give the wall the password, loud enough for Remus to pick it up easily. After a while the memory seems to be replaced by another one, because the students gather in the Great Hall for breakfast again.

"Now I can't wait for the outrage," Peter whispers.

"Neither can I!" Sirius confirms.

The outrage in the form of many infuriated Slytherins who come into the great hall with red and gold hair. The students who are already in the Great Hall start to giggle and laugh and by the time the teachers are all there the whole student body is laughing outright. But the originators of the prank can't be identified and the four boys are spared a detention and point losses.

There are a lot of memories containing small pranks now. The Marauders start roaming the castle at night and discover the kitchens. It's fun to see them finding out about the house-elves and gaining allies in the little creatures. The next step are finding several secret passages. Here are a few close calls with ghosts or Peeves and with Filch. Hermione and I stare as he already had Mrs Norris, but the cat seems to be still very young. Thanks to their discovery of more and more secret passages the boys usually get away.

It's time to take the twins to bed. They've been watched by Winky and Dobby. Sirius has pulled us out of the memories to take notes and we've gone in and out of the Pensieve. Everyone remembers some details and the roll of parchment grows and grows while Sirius' Dictaquill writes down what he tells it to. Once the two little ones are sleeping we all return to the Pensieve. Sirius extracts the memories we've visited and discards them, then he adds more. We know that he's covering a happy time in his life and we gladly share this with him, his eyes are full of mirth as he watches his and his friends' adventures at Hogwarts.



Hermione


They sit in the common room, doing their homework. We see Professor McGonagall coming through the portrait hole calling James away. He leaves, but is back only a short time later, with a face frozen to a mask. Sirius, Remus and Peter jump up immediately and surround him, to ask what is going on, but he only nods up to their dormitory. When they reach it, he breaks down and cries:

"My grand-parents have been found dead in their house! With a strange mark above it: a green skull from which a snake protrudes. That was two days ago."

Harry and I gasp. We look at James, Lily, Sirius and Remus who of course knew what this memory was about, at least the men did. Lily probably only learned about it later.

"Anyway, I have to leave for a few days - for the funeral they say and that my parents wanted the family to be together. It's Christmas in a few days anyway, so I'll be back after that..."

"James! I don't know what to say! You just told us so much about your grand-father!" Remus says and looks saddened.

"Yeah, I know. And now he's dead! I loved the old man. He was always laughing!"

"Who would do such a thing? And what about that mark?" Sirius asks fiercely.

"I don't know, Sirius. Maybe they tell me. Then I'll tell you back."

James packs some stuff into his trunk and Sirius helps him bring it down through the portrait hole. Professor McGonagall waits there, patiently and says with her lips pressed to a thin line:

"Come, Potter, we get you downstairs, your father is waiting at Professor Dumbledore's office."

"Yes, Professor. See you after the break, guys!"

"Bye, James! We're sorry!" Sirius calls after him.

"Bye James!" Remus and Peter say in unison.

The next memory shows Sirius, Remus and Peter at the Gryffindor table and Professor McGonagall noting down the names of the students who stay at Hogwarts over the break. It turns out that only Peter is going home, Remus and Sirius both stay. Sirius has not the slightest inclination to join his stiff family at Christmas which to him is about the worst time every year. He fears the day he has to go home for the summer vacation already. Remus' reason to stay is that his parents have something going on and he cannot go home. The memory dissolves and then we meet Sirius all alone in the library, poring over some books. When I get closer he looks up some Dark Creatures. I suppose he started to suspect that something is wrong with Remus. But he hasn't quite found the link yet. In the next few memories it's clear that Remus and Sirius seem to have quite a good time all alone in Gryffindor Tower. They get the good squashy sofas in front of the big fireplace. Remus is reading a lot. When Sirius isn't pestering him to do something together. And Remus looks very lively when they go outside to play in the snow.

There's a lot to note down for the memoirs from these few memories in their first year alone. Sirius' Dictaquill almost starts to smoke as it follows the dictating from all of us. It's fun in a way, but I'm well aware that these must be some of Sirius' happiest memories, the ones he only had to stash away in Azkaban, which he is pulling to the foreground of his mind now. He's extracting memories by the month now, as there is more and more. This is for both himself and Remus and they plan to write this part of the book together, right up to the bitter break in their lives.

He's cleared the Pensieve and we go in for the next instalment.

We find ourselves back in Hogwarts, back in the Gryffindor Tower. It's the last day of the Christmas vacation, Sirius tells us and Remus looks at his younger self, wondering why no one ever made any kind of remark about the adoring looks with which he's watching Sirius.

James makes one now: "Remus, don't tell me you were already in love with Sirius in our FIRST year?! Why did no one ever see how you looked at him?"

Remus blushes. Sirius looks at him and plants a quick kiss on his cheek. He just smiles and replies in Remus' stead: "Well, if HE wasn't in love with me by then I certainly was in love with him. Just didn't know it yet."

> Tiny Remus is blushing, too, when he notices Sirius looking back at him. Sirius is sitting on the floor, reading a book while leaning on the sofa next to Remus, who sits with one leg tucked under the other. He looks so cute I want to go and cuddle him! Remus has a book open, too, but he's not reading. He's staring down at Sirius instead. And blushes again, when Siri notices the glances. The quaint picture is rapidly disturbed when the common room is invaded by the returning students, coming from the train, all flushed and ready to start the next term. James is one of the first to come in, still a bit subdued, but happy to be reunited with his friends. He smiles widely when he sees them in front of the fire. They are jumping up to welcome him back. While they go up to the dormitory Sirius and Remus ask him, if he's feeling better.

"Not much, but I will. It's just so hard to miss them, especially at Christmas! They had already bought my present! It made me cry again when I opened it, but Mum and Dad felt the same, so it wasn't a very happy Christmas. How was it for you guys?"

"Oh, just fine. There was only one table for all, right in the middle of the Great Hall! The teachers who stayed on ate together with us students. They were a lot more easygoing than normally!" Sirius said.

"We've had a really good time! There was even a Christmas tree here in the common room. The house-elves just removed it a couple of days ago," Remus added.

"That's great! You know what? How about we all stay on next year, then Sirius won't be alone and we'll be together!" James offers.

"That's a bloody good idea, James!" Peter said. "Only I might have to go home again. My parents think, Christmas is the family holiday and that families should be together."

The memory ends here. The next one that comes up takes place in the transfiguration classroom. Minerva teaches them the usual first year transfigurations and it's fun to see the ease with which James and Sirius go about their tasks. Remus and Lily do their job very well, too, though they have a few more unsuccessful attempts, but Remus' pincushion really is a pincushion, while Peter's still has the whiskers of the hedgehog and the odd quills. Sirius laughs himself silly when he sees it, but then he guides Peter's hand so that he doesn't tremble and helps him with the spells. Minerva sees it, but she doesn't seem to mind, though at the end she gives Sirius three extra points and Peter some extra homework. There are many images like that in the next few memories. One class with Professor Flitwick it's Remus and Lily who help Peter and then in the next potions lesson it's James who partners with Peter, while Sirius works with Remus who's not the best in potions. Remus at least understands the theory perfectly well, but the scents of all of those ingredients almost suffocate him.

By the end of the evening we've reached the Easter holiday. After the notes have been taken down of that we decide to call it a night and to continue the next day.



Wednesday, 30.12.1998 / Hermione


It's funny that without saying anything we all find back to the living room after breakfast to continue going through Sirius' memories. He smiles when he notes Harry and I are there as well.

"Do you really want to spend your time with that old stuff?" he asks.

"Yes, sure! It's nice to see all that!"

"Wait till it gets embarrassing again..." he mumbles.

But the first memory isn't embarrassing for Sirius. It's at the end of the school year and it's embarrassing for Remus, because it's one of those times he has to lie to them about the reason he has to leave the school yet again. Sirius watches him while he leaves after the last lesson, with his bag slung over his shoulder. He decides to follow his friend and finds out he vanishes in the hospital wing. Sirius shakes his head and returns to the Gryffindor tower. He puts his books away and follows James and Peter down to dinner.

"Why would Remus say that he's got to go home and see his Mum and then vanish in the hospital wing?" Sirius asks while they eat.

"Did he?" James asks back.

"Yeah. I followed him today and he went to Madam Pomfrey. He's vanishing about once month, have you noticed? And each time he comes back all pale. I'm worried!"

James looks up from his plate.

"You're right, it's about once a month. Could he be ill or something?"

"I don't know. I've been thinking and thinking about it, but..."

All of a sudden Sirius halts, thinks for a moment and then:

"Tonight's a full moon."

"And?"

"...I have to go and check on something. I'm not very hungry anyway, see you guys back at the dorm!"

Sirius throws his napkin on the table, drops his fork and knife and runs out of the Great Hall. He doesn't stop until he's reached the library, where he goes straight to the regular Dark Arts section and looks for a book. He pulls it from the shelf, sits down and catches his breath while he leaves through the pages and finally finds what he's been looking for. He nods, takes the book and passes Madam Pince to check the book out.

"Here you are, Black!"

"Thank you, Madam Pince!" he says with a smile and rushes off, back to the dorm.

He finds his page again and starts to read until James and Peter are back from dinner. When they come into the room he looks up and says:

"I think, Remus is a werewolf."

Peter laughs.

"You must be kidding, Sirius! He can't be a werewolf, they'd never allow one to come to school!"

"All the symptoms are there. Moody when the moon is almost full, tired too, pale, skinny beyond anything, very active when the moon is new and whenever he comes back from being away he looks like someone has really beaten him up."

James has wide eyes, too.

"That's all very true..." he whispers.

Then he looks out of the window. It's still light outside, and the moon hasn't risen yet, but he thinks back and says:

"It's really been once a month he's vanished. He's given us excuses!"

"Lies!" hisses Peter.

"Now really, Peter, would you just walk up to someone and say you're a werewolf?" James says.

"No, I wouldn't. But I wouldn't go where other people are. Werewolves are Dark Creatures, dangerous and, well you see how Remus lies to us..."

"Stop it right there, Peter!" Sirius falls in, "Remus is the kindest guy in the whole school, how can you say something so ugly?"

"He's deceptive, isn't he?" Peter insists.

"I would be deceptive, too, if I had to see people who are my friends turning on me, just because I am a werewolf! Honestly, what's different in Remus today than yesterday? If he really is a werewolf, that is, we don't know yet."

"Different? I don't care if anything's different, but he could kill all of us!" Peter cries.

"Aw, come on, Peter, obviously he's going somewhere for the full moon transformation that's outside of the castle. Sirius saw him vanish in the hospital wing, so Madam Pomfrey probably knows about it. What's the problem? He's only a wolf one night every month! Do we stop being friends with him after he's been so nice to all of us all the time? You especially, where would you be in Charms if not for Remus? And in History. And in Herbology for that matter. Not to speak of Astronomy," James says.

Peter blushes. Remus has not only been helping during lessons, he's the one who sits patiently by his side to go through his homework, where Sirius and James are too antsy to sit still for that long.

It seems to be later. The sun has set, the moon is out and all of a sudden, Sirius, who sits on the window seat sighs and says:

"Poor, poor Remus! What must he go through?"

He looks out sadly.

"I wonder where he is," James whispers.

"Yeah, me too. It was almost turning my stomach, when I read about how they transform, James! It must be so painful!"

The boys go to bed after discussing it for a little while. They have decided to talk with Remus and tell him that they don't mind. Peter still isn't convinced, but Sirius' final argument that Remus could have killed them any old time in the past eight months if he had wanted to do that finally hits home.

It's not astonishing that the very next memory coming up is the next evening, when they see Remus in the dormitory again and confront him. Sirius does the talking.

"You look pale, Remus, are you okay?"

"Yes, Sirius, it's nothing, I'm just a bit tired."

"There's something we'd like to ask you, Remus. We've been doing some thinking. You've been gone once a month since we started school and yesterday we noticed that it was the full moon, so we looked it up - well, we thought the symptoms are all there, so we suspected that you're a werewolf..."

"What?! No!" Remus is wide awake now, his eyes are wide open and he's shaking.

"Is it true?" James asks.

Remus tries to deny it for a moment, but then he slumps on his bed and starts to cry, nodding. Sirius immediately goes over to his bed and puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Remus, we just wanted to know, there's nothing to cry about. We won't tell others. You're our friend!"

With a sniffle, Remus dares to look up to Sirius, who's all sincere.

"Are you sure? You're not having me on?"

"No, Remus, we're not having you on, you've been a good friend until now, so why should that change, just because we know you're a werewolf?"

Remus shakes his head and shrugs his shoulder.

"So - we're not telling. Were have you been?"

Remus nods to the window.

"There's the Whomping Willow. It covers an underground passage to a house near Hogsmeade. I can't get out there and no one can get in. Madam Pomfrey takes me to the passage and once I'm inside there I can't get out until she comes and gets me back in the morning after I transformed back."

Now the boys ask him all sorts of questions and he has to tell them about how it happened and how he survived and lots of other things.

I throw a glance at Remus. Sirius has put his arm around his lover's shoulder and holds him close. It's a very touching moment, one that I have tried to imagine a few times. I think, Sirius handled this very well.

They let Remus sleep, because he looks very tired, but not before they all promise to take notes in class for him whenever he has to miss lessons. It's amazing how the next memories show us a much more outgoing Remus in many ways. He's not as boisterous as the other three, but he becomes more cheerful. A further memory is of Minerva, who approaches all four boys at the Gryffindor table and tells them:

"Professor Dumbledore would like to see the four of you in his office right after classes this afternoon. Do you know how to find it?"

Remus does.

"Very well. Then remember the password: plum pudding."

"Yes, Professor."

They're all four very subdued for the rest of the lunch and slink off to classes. The memory shifts on to them standing in front of the gargoyle which covers the headmaster's office. Finally Sirius sighs.

"There's nothing for it. Plum pudding!" he says to the gargoyle who springs to the side. They go in and mount the staircase that takes them up to the office.

Remus leads them to the big oak door and they knock. The door opens and Dumbledore calls them inside.

"Come in, come in, boys! - Don't worry, you are not in trouble! Please take a seat!"

There's a sofa and two armchairs and they sit down shyly, still thinking that some kind of a punishment waits for them.

"I have called you up because I am aware that you three, James, Sirius, Peter, have gained some knowledge about your dorm-mate. Is that true?"

"About Remus being a werewolf?" Sirius asks.

He's sitting next to Remus and looks fondly at his friend.

"Indeed."

"We're not telling anyone, Professor, he's our friend!" James promises.

"If you three are willing to keep his secret, then you would do him a real service. Remus is an incredibly talented magical child and we thought it would be very encouraging if he would be granted a full magical education. We expected that it would be difficult to hide his condition from his dorm-mates for a long time so we have observed you very closely. - You have a very bright mind, Sirius, that you have concluded Remus' condition from his symptoms so soon. I did want to let you children know that I am aware of your knowledge about Remus. And that's all I needed to tell you. You can return to Gryffindor tower."

"Thank you, Professor Dumbledore!" they all say politely.

Dumbledore smiles at them and they jump up, looking relieved that it's nothing worse.



Sirius


What a fond memory that one is! It's been wonderful to see Remus change from his covert self to a more cheerful boy, eager to learn and often with a sparkle in his eyes in classes. Remus was such a bright soul, a wonderful child and I only wish I'd have known him even earlier, I'm quite sure I'd have loved him even earlier as well. And for such a long time we didn't know that our close friendship was so much more!

One of the next memories is the trip back to London on the Hogwarts Express. We're all together in a compartment of course and Remus tells us his parents are taking him back to Switzerland for the summer vacation. James expects to go on a vacation with his parents and Peter knows he'll be out for visits to relatives all summer long. I'm remaining very silent, because I know that there will be no such things for me. I'll have to endure my family again. And no Uncle Alphard for relief, because they have cut him from visiting me. He's told me in a letter about that.

"Poor Siri! You'll have to hang around Grimmauld Place for the whole summer, won't you?"

"Probably. I wish I could come and visit you guys... but I suppose that none of you is on the list of people my parents deem worthy and those who are I don't want to see. You know them. So they'll probably be at Grimmauld Place, especially when Bellatrix will be there."

"If only we could get you out of there," says Peter, "Even visiting my great-aunts is better than that!"

James and Remus grin.

When we get to King's Cross station my mother waits on the platform. Since she detests 'mingling' with Muggles she has a Portkey ready. I hardly get time to say goodbye to my friends when I'm already pulled away and handed the Portkey. A minute later I'm landing in the hall of No 12, Grimmauld Place. She's back there just as fast. I drag my trunk up to my room and don't show my face until it's time to go to dinner. There's hardly any welcome from my father and both my parents are tight lipped, especially because I have been sorted into Gryffindor.

"You're a disgrace, Sirius! You couldn't even get yourself into the family's esteemed house at Hogwarts! We have been the laughing stock for our friends for weeks!" my father complains.

"I'm happy where I am," I dare say, "I didn't want to be where Bellatrix and Severus and them all went. The Sorting Hat said I was fit for any of the four houses and put me in Gryffindor."

As usual that's the wrong thing to say, but I don't really care. I know what I have to expect in the next weeks, so why wait. At least I said what I meant.

It's still very painful to witness - and feel again - what made for my home life as a child. Seeing this particular memory reminds me of my vow never to treat my own children like that. I know I will have to discipline them, but I will definitely keep it on the absolutely needed minimum.

I am punished - as usual. It's the whip again and my father doesn't even care that he ruins my clothes and that I will have to get something new, since I don't have many Muggle clothes. Today I wouldn't even have needed them. After about a dozen whip-lashes I lose consciousness.



Harry


I can't believe what I'm seeing! My heart rushes out to Sirius! My goodness, and I thought I had it bad with the Dursleys! At least they only made me feel useless and forced me to work. Sirius' parents made him feel useless and close to killed him.

When Sirius passes out he's being levitated up to his room and dumped on the bed. He moans, but doesn't wake from his coma. The t-shirt he's wearing has been torn to shreds. He's bleeding all over his back and his shoulders and they just leave him in this state in a rather dusty looking room. It's hard to watch. If that's how they welcome him home I dread how the rest of those eight weeks will unfold!

The next memory that comes up is certainly many hours later. The room seems to have the afternoon sunlight and from that I think it's at least twenty-four hours later. Sirius starts to move again. He must feel awful! He moans and tries to pull the shreds of his t-shirt away. That must hurt even more, because in the meantime the blood has dried and the shreds stick to what's left of his skin. He winces and pulls. Most of the fabric comes off, but so does the remaining skin and the wounds start to bleed again. Sirius falls back on the bed and passes out again. Not long after that his mother comes inside and waves her wand, so that the rest of the shreds are gone and the wounds are healed. I can't understand what she mutters, but it can't be nice. A moment later a house-elf deposits something to eat on Sirius' desk.

Then a few days seem to pass without incident. Sirius stays in his room for most of the time. He's down in the kitchen for some breakfast and vanishes in his room for the day, then he has to endure dinner. His brother looks very smug when Sirius gets snide remarks. What a difference between this subdued child and the bright exuberant one at Hogwarts! Sirius has his owl as his only consolation. He writes some letters and Tom is clever enough to bring any replies directly to Sirius' window. I can see that someone sends him books to read, which he takes care to send back after he's read them.

Somehow he manages to get three other beatings. Unreasonable and cruel punishments. There are some formal gatherings he has to attend and there he meets the whole gang of his cousin's Slytherin friends and has to endure them or he gets cursed. In fact, the second time he decides to sneak out, but gets caught by his mother and promptly cursed with boxing hexes which knock him straight out. Much to the amusement of Snape and company. Somehow I can understand why he hates Snape so much.

His mother takes him to Diagon Alley to get the new school robes, as he's grown out of his old ones and his school books. It's probably the first time during these vacations he is outside. Not for long. He's shoved into the floo in the Leaky Cauldron and gets hauled back 'home'. I can hardly bear looking at this anymore. I'm relieved when I can finally watch how Sirius packs his trunk and is Portkeyed back to King's Cross station. He drags his trunk to the train and manages to get it inside. He doesn't even look back at his mother who doesn't linger. When he notices that she's gone he leaves the train again to look for his friends. I can see Dad coming through the barrier with what I can only presume are my grand-parents. They look like a very happy and merry family. James sees Sirius and takes a leap, running to his friend and hugging him. And finally there's a real smile and a grin on Sirius' face again. Especially when Remus comes through the barrier with his parents. He finds his friends and guides his parents there.

"Mum, Dad, these are my friends, Sirius Black, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew..."

"Hello, you three! We've heard nothing but Remus talking a mile a minute about you boys all summer long! You seem to have become friends very quickly," Mrs Lupin says.

The boys shake hands with the Lupins, then Mr. Lupin recognises my grandfather and greets him:

"Marcus Potter! I haven't seen you in ages, how are you?"

"Oh, that's you, Quintus! James talked about Remus, but I haven't put two and two together. It's great to see you. So you have been allowed into Hogwarts, Remus! That's very good, very good indeed. - No, don't worry, James hasn't said a thing, only because of your father I knew. I used to work in his department at the Ministry, you know. And my lips will be sealed!"

Remus looks relieved. It's time to board the train though and they all sit together in a compartment again. While Remus, James and Peter talk of their summer's adventures Sirius remains almost silent. The others know that he hasn't much to say.



Remus


I remember that first train ride together painfully well. Sirius was silent for most of it. Only when we start to talk about Quidditch and some plans we had drafted in our letters he woke from his trance like state. I was very worried about him. I think he must have been lonely right in the middle of the circle of his friends. Something was definitely wrong with him, but in those days I had no idea what. When I see these memories of his home life now I have to say that the werewolf transformations were certainly bad, but I've grown up being loved to bits by both my parents and they were never shy to show me, so I was off a lot better than Sirius. I suppose if he'd said he was cold they'd put a warming charm on him and if he'd said he was lonely they would have shoved him in the lion's den of the Slytherins in his year. Or give him a lot of new things. Sirius had a state of the art new broom in his trunk and he'd love to go flying right after we got to Hogwarts. I think, apart from the time we got to spend outside at school he's never really been out of that house. Grimmauld Place, Hogsmeade Primary School and Diagon Alley was all he ever saw before he came to Hogwarts. Oh, and a bit of the park near Grimmauld Place. What a wretched childhood. Add to that his parents' violence, BOTH his parents! and you get the picture of a real poor rich kid.

This must have been the first full moon night after the beginning of the new term. I'm absent, but Sirius, James and Peter huddle over a stack of books in the library until very late. Madam Pince finally throws them out and they climb back up to Gryffindor tower and our dormitory. Sirius sits on the window seat of one of the windows and stares outside, then he says:

"He's hurting out there! He's hurting and there's nothing I can do!"

"We'll find something, Sirius," James says.

"You've heard Remus, there's no cure - nothing!"

"But there must be something that others have overlooked. We'll find something that will help him, we just have to keep searching."

"I want to be with him..." Sirius whispers, then: "Do you think we could go and see him before breakfast tomorrow?"

"We can try. Maybe Madam Pomfrey won't let us in though..."

The memory fades. The next one takes place right outside of the entrance to the hospital wing. My three friends scramble inside and an irritated Madam Pomfrey asks them what they want.

"Can we see Remus, please, Madam Pomfrey? We just want to wish him well..." James asks.

Sirius puts up puppy dog eyes.

"We know about Remus, he's told us, Madam Pomfrey, please let us see him."

Poppy's heart melts at the three boys and she lets them into my room. I'm still out of it and she tells them so.

"He's unconscious now, that was a hard transformation. I give you five minutes, then you're out of here and off to breakfast, do you hear me?"

"Yes, Madam Pomfrey," Peter says.

They're encircling my bed. Sirius takes my hand and says:

"Get well soon, Remus. We'll take all the notes for you. And we'll try to write so you can read it easily, too!"

"We come and see you at lunch or after the lessons in the afternoon if you're still here!" James promises.

The next memory is Sirius coming into the hospital wing at lunchtime and moving to my room. I'm still there and I've woken up in the meantime. He grins when he sees me awake and says:

"Hi! I just wanted to tell you to get well soon! I've taken all your notes. And brought you some chocolate from the kitchen!"

"Thanks, Sirius!"

"How are you now?"

"Bruised and pretty beaten up."

"Why do you hurt yourself?"

My younger self shrugs the shoulders.

"I'm losing all of my own mind when I'm transformed. The wolf wants out, wants to hunt. Because it finds nothing it runs against the walls and doors. And because I don't get to taste any blood I bite and scratch myself. That's why I'm pale. I lose a lot of blood. Madam Pomfrey gives me a potion to replenish it, but it takes about two days until that's done. Sometimes I have broken bones, too. She's healing those easily though."

Sirius winces.

"Don't worry, Sirius, I'm used to it, it's been seven years already."

"I can't help it, it sounds so painful!"

We're pulling ourselves out of the Pensieve. That one was easier to take than I thought. Apart from what Sirius' parents did to him of course. I could still murder them for it! When the memories will come to the beginning of our sixth year I'll be really angry!

But the next group of memories contain one that I love most in retrospect.

It must be another full moon, because Sirius, James and Peter are back in the library. They sneak around at night in there and go through to the Restricted Section.

"Don't touch any of the books yet, Peter, we're just looking at the titles, okay? I've heard that some of those books can do horrible things!" James warns.

Peter stays back after that. But Sirius and James look around in the sector containing highly advanced transfiguration stuff.

"James! This here could be something, come and look! 'Secret of the Animagus'. I think I heard talk of Animagi. It's dangerous stuff though..."

"The book looks pretty normal."

Sirius takes it from the shelf. He opens it. Everything is still. He notes the title, author and position in the library in a notebook and puts it back on the shelf. James finds something else:

"'Shape shifting - Werewolves, Vampires, Veela and Animagi'. Looks like another good one."

James picks the book up, opens it and when nothing happens, Sirius notes the same details in his notebook. They work themselves through the whole sector and pick up anything that has to do with any form of shape shifting. When they seem to be through they start with the first two or three books and read half the night through, taking notes. Each of them has one of the books.

"That's proof here, werewolves don't attack other animals, so we have to become Animagi! Once we can shift to an animal form we can be with Remus on the full moon nights," Sirius declares.

"But that's going to be so very difficult. I don't think I'll manage to pull that one off," Peter whines.

"Oh yes, you will! We all will, and if it takes us years to do it. But not a word to Remus! Not before we've done it, alright?" says James.

"Absolutely. He'd feel guilty and wouldn't want us to go through with it..." Sirius confirms.

Then they put the books back on the shelf and go back to their dorm. I think they have slept as little as I did that night.

Many of the next memories show us pulling pranks, discovering the castle more intensely and the first draft of the secret passages drawn on a map, to help us remember where they are. There's much laughter while we go through these.



Thursday, 31.12.1998 / Harry


New Year's Eve! Everyone will be home; we have a party planned. Some of us go shopping while the others decorate the house and start on some of the food that we'll have in the evening. Sirius' Pensieve remains untouched today. But I still haven't forgotten the image of what he's had to take from his parents. I've looked at him with totally different eyes since then. I'm even more in awe about how he's turned out, I think, stepping beyond such a childhood must have cost a lot of nerves. I realise he's had Remus for a good part of his young adult life. What a huge impact must it have had to see his life crushed by a blow such as the murder of my parents, Sirius' best friends, and being accused of treason and murder himself and punished with a life sentence after such a childhood! I'm impressed even more at how Sirius has left it behind, how he's dealing with it. He knows what's amiss, he feels how he has to tackle it, but for a few years he had to push it to the back of his mind. He would have been lost in depression and despair had he tried to deal with it right after escaping from Azkaban.

Today's Daily Prophet has a lengthy article about Fudge. It's his last day in office - at last, we can only say. He should have been replaced ten years ago, but at the latest four or five years ago. If not the only option for most wizards at that time would have been Lucius Malfoy. Now, luckily, the alternative is Amelia Bones.

A bit further to the back I find something interesting. It's a story about something the Aurors work on together with the experimental Charms specialists at the Ministry. The goal is to fully destroy the Dementors and to replace them with special imprisoning spells. Test spells have already been constructed and are in the evaluation stage. Of course they're not explained, but their supposed effect is described in detail. I show the article to Sirius:

"Here, Siri, that should be something interesting for you!"

He reads over the article and looks content.

"Good! That's at least a first step in the right direction. Not that I think that the Death Eaters at Azkaban don't deserve a healthy dose of what I had to endure. But the wizarding justice sends ALL people to Azkaban, even for minor offences. That should stop when they have such a spell."

"Rather a group of spells, from what I can see here. It would probably take quite a lot to keep those people locked up. They still are magic after all..." Hermione comments.

"The question that remains is what to do with the obsolete Dementors. Can they be destroyed at all?" Sirius asks.

"Actually they can be. By fire," says Remus.

"Ah yes? Interesting. But really, I think, I wouldn't want to watch. Should be awful to see..." Sirius says lightly. Dementors are still a touchy subject with him.

"I don't think it's even commonly known, Sirius, but I've seen it. It was an accident, though a welcome one for me. And that was a wild Dementor in Romania. Those can't even be bothered by a Patronus for longer than ten minutes. We don't have any of those on the British Isles anymore. I think, I'd give a first try with a simple Incendio or Conflagratio spell."

"Why didn't you tell me that when you first taught me the Patronus?" I ask, baffled.

"Because I couldn't exactly let you burn Ministry owned Dementors, Harry! Imagine how Fudge would have reacted on that."

"Too true, he would have been pissed off. You're right," I admit.

"Once the time comes when they will have to do it, I'll send Amelia the hint, that fire could be the very thing to get rid of them."

Remus' Commumirror rings. It's Draco, who wants to know if we have the champagne already.

"No, we're actually just ready to go shopping..."

"Okay, we're bringing the good stuff, you can cancel it from the shopping list!"

"Great! See you all later then!"

"I suppose it's okay if we bring Shannah and Vaidyanathan along, isn't it?"

"Absolutely! We'll find a suitable bed for the little one!"

"Good! See you all later then!"

It's going to be quite a big party tonight! I'm looking forward to it, because it will be good to relax with good food, good wine and loads of good conversation, a bit of dancing and most probably the night will be ended with a good shag. Morag apparates Nicole in.

After the breakfast we split up in teams for the several trips to do the shopping and decorating, preparing the dinner table and babysitting. I've volunteered for the babysitting today. So I'm spending my time in the small living room watching over the twins and feeding them.



Hermione


Harry's today's babysitter. I'm going off with Remus to do the grocery shopping. James and Lily help Sirius decorate the living room. Shortly after lunchtime Remus and I are back and unload the huge amount of foodstuff from the car to the kitchen. We've decided on a 'Fondue Chinoise', which everyone among us youngsters loved to bits, so it's a good opportunity to repeat it for once, as we didn't do this many times. There's a lot of vegetables to be cut, the meat is to be arranged on large platters, we have to make about a dozen different dips and relishes, salads are to be prepared and the wines made ready. There will be an aperitif, which Remus prepares, while Winky and Dobby help with the preparation of the dips. Most are based on a Mayonnaise, which I make myself, some are based on fresh cheese and sour cream, others are actually cooked. This will be a two course Fondue Chinoise, as we've bought specially cut fish of several kinds, and for those I'll have a broth of white wine mixed with water, salt, pepper and some onion slices for the first course. This broth will be thrown out for the second course, where it will be real beef broth, and the meat that will be cooked is lamb, veal, pork and beef, cut into very thin slices. Rolled up around a special long fork this is held into the broth and left to cook. For the dessert I'm back to making my Tirami-Su, some burnt cream and for those who like it, I'll have meringues, covered in traditional Swiss manner with a lot of whipped cream. And that's not going to be whipped cream from the can, no sir, that will be the real stuff. With greetings from the calories of course! Finally there will be a large cheese platter and some crackers to what's left of the red wine. During the long night we'll warm up the broths, which will be very rich, flavoured additionally with some Cognac and added marrow.



Sirius


Lily and I have fun in decorating the living room. We have little lights in all sorts of colours that blink all around the place. The table is covered with a tablecloth that we've charmed to glimmer in the same colours as the lamps overhead. We set the table with the dishes and charm them to different colours as well, then we place several little stoves along the table. Those will be used for the pots with the broth, to keep the fluid simmering. I'm checking the status of the little tanks holding the spirits and refill where necessary. Lily puts down the silverware and James brings the crystal glasses. We prepare a bar for the aperitif on one side of the room, with the appropriate glasses and bowls with crisps and salty peanuts and other nuts. Then we add streamers all over the place and on the table, over the chairs and along the railing of the staircase up to the library. As a final touch I add candles on the table leaving room for the platters of meat and the bowls of salad, vegetables and crisps. The smaller bowls with the dips will be spread across the remaining space. Then we add the napkins and look at our finished work.

"Looks good, don't you think?" James asks.

"Looks very nice! Well done!" Lily commends.

I'm going up to our room to get my clothes for the evening, then vanish in the bathroom to have a long soak in the bath before getting ready. When I come out again, freshly washed and all made up I find that several of the youngsters have already arrived, including Vaidyanathan and Shannah. I welcome them contently.

"Hey Sirius! How are you? Let us see your little ones right away, we've only seen photos of them so far!" Shannah says with a wide grin.

"Harry is looking after them, they're on the other side of the house, come with me! It's good to see you again! How are things for you?"

"Much better than two years ago, Sirius! We can live and work in peace again and that's worth a lot! But I probably don't need to tell you," Vaidyanathan says.

Sadhu, five years old in the meantime, looks around the living room and says:

"This looks great!"

"Thanks, Sadhu! We've done some work today. And when you get tired we have a room and a bed for you, so you can go to sleep."

"We've got something to stay overnight, too, if you don't mind. As far as I remember you do have some space, don't you?" Vaidyanathan asks with a grin.

"Oh, you're most welcome! Takes the immense work of a spell to make a bed for you!"

We go over to the small living room, where Seraina and Denny are crawling around Harry. He looks a bit tired, my godson. But he doesn't complain! When he sees our guests he gets up to shake hands.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs Patil!" he says.

"Oh fiddle, Harry, you're old enough to call us with our first names now, we're Shannah and Vaidyanathan!"

"Very well, thank you. How do you do?"

"Just fine, Harry. You look swell yourself, I've heard you've started studying law?"

"That and history, yes."

"Good, we need people in that discipline," Shannah says.

I look down to my children and as soon as they discover me they come crawling.

"Hello, my little ones! Have you been good kids with Harry?"

I pick them both up from the floor and present them to our guests.

"So, this is Remus' daughter Seraina. And this is my son Dennis. They're eight months old now."

"And busy crawling around as I see! That's wonderful. - Hey, you lovely young lady, would you come to me? I know I'm a total stranger, but you see, I'm longing to hold a baby again... my son's already that big now!" Shannah coos and I let her take Seraina from my arm.

Seraina always scrutinises people before accepting them, but I suppose something goes out from Shannah, as Seraina gives her a flash of her friendly smile and babbles something.

"Oh, just look at the lovely teeth you have there!"

"They're cute, Sirius! Well done!" says Vaidyanathan and grins.

"Thanks! We're very happy about them, even though they're quite tiring. But it really is a great feeling to have a family with children now. Not that Remus and I aren't enough for each other, but it was amazingly satisfying to become a family. Somehow there was a hole filled of which we didn't even know it was there."

"I know the feeling. Parvati and Padma have been kind of an accident, but what a welcome accident! We keep teasing them about it, but in truth I can't wait for the first grandchild. Never mind that we had Sadhu so long after the twins."

"They seem to be both very happy with their partners, don't they?" I ask.

"Amazingly yes! Wouldn't have thought so. Draco and Parvati are pretty serious. There's more depth I would have thought in that young man. He's resourceful, too. That fun park is a huge project, but he's really doing fine work. Still has to learn a bit about the business world, but he's on a good way. And he doesn't need any other investors, he can really share it with the Weasley twins."

"We were pretty impressed with the work they've already done. Give it a year and the place will be open to the public. They aim for spring 2000."

We walk back to the large living room, officially releasing Harry from his duties, so he can go and wash up and get dressed. I set up a large playpen for the twins where they get enough toys to amuse themselves and a soft blanket and pillows to lay down. We'll have a good look over them every once in a while. I've placed Remus and I on one end of the table, where we have one of the twins on our side at the head of the table.

Slowly but surely the room fills. Mandy brings Jason to the party. Neville comes in and presents us his date for the evening, a young witch he met in Diagon Alley named Hester Guthrie. That brings the party to twenty adults, three children, two house-elves and two ghosts.

It was funny to see the Patils' reaction to James and Lily. Shannah and Lily had been pretty good friends in school, they were both very like-minded, so Shannah is pleased to bits to be able to chat with her old friend again.

Looking over the assembled friends and chosen family I'm getting butterflies fluttering in my stomach. It's just the thing I need. It really makes me forget my awful childhood and my horrible early adulthood. I'm 39 now and I think my life is really only starting. Before we sit at the table I'm pulling Remus close and kiss him deeply. He smiles and asks:

"That felt so important. What was it for?"

I grin.

"I'm happy. Just wanted to share. I'm really feeling so well that I can hardly find the words to describe it. But I've just thought that all the trouble and pain was worth it to find this here."

He nods, suddenly serious.

"Yes, I think I'd go through all of it again, if I knew that this is at the end of it. And it's really only a start, isn't it?"

"Abso-fuckin'-lutely, my love. Come, let's grab our little ones and put them in the high chairs."

The two are presiding over the table. They won't get any meat yet, but we have some of the vegetables cooked in the broth for them and they're allowed some fish. That one is cooked magically and without the alcohol of course. They don't bemoan it though and grab the food with their little hands. That's always fun to watch. Shannah, who sits next to me, looks at them and comments:

"That's rather unconventional..."

I grin.

"My discovery. They are busy, not bored and we can eat mostly in peace."

"Clever boy!"



Draco


The living room is comfortably full with that amount of people. I'm looking over one end of the table and see Dobby and Winky, who are eating with us. That would be something for my parents! They'd cry 'outrage!!!' and would probably kill the house-elves if they'd even dared come closer than two metres. In the meantime I've long since apologised to Dobby for my father's treatment of him. Heck, even for my own treatment of him, though I don't think I've ever been cruel. My father was cruel all the time. We must have gone through dozens of house-elves.

I turn to Parvati and whisper:

"Hey, imagine us here ten years from now. An extra table for all the kids who will be around will probably be needed, what do you think?"

She laughs softly. She doesn't know yet, but I've got something in the pocket of my robes for her. I'm just waiting for the last minute before the new year. For two months I've done my soul searching and now I know that I'm ready for the commitment. Merlin, I haven't even looked at another witch since I've been with Parvati, and that's three years now, so why should I wait longer?

The food, as usual here, is great! This is such a wonderful way of eating, you can't hurry it, you have to wait for your meat or veggies to cook in the broth and that gives you lots of time to chat. It's a casual dinner, everyone is fairly high spirited. Time passes quite nicely, the table is cleared for dessert and coffee. Sirius brings on two nice bottles of Kirsch and Vieille Prune, the coffee is steaming and Hermione's sensational desserts come floating out of the kitchen. Gods, there's so much lovely stuff I don't even know which to choose.

"Take some of everything, sweetie," Parvati suggests.

"Don't moan about me gaining weight, love! I think I really cant's say no to the Tirami-Su. If I still have room I'll move to the meringue."

I do hope, Harry knows what he has with Hermione! Mrs Potter has a gift with desserts! Remus feeds some of the burnt cream to his son. Denny's face is sheer bliss! I laugh when he squeals and gestures to Remus' bowl.

"So, do you think that some of the kids you can see here in ten years will be yours, Draco?" Parvati asks.

I almost choke. But then I think there's never a better time than now.

"Ours?" I ask.

And I pull out the little box containing a nice ring and hand it to her. I take her hand, look in her eyes and add:

"If you'd do me the honour and move up from being my lover to being my wife?"

She looks straight into my eyes and gasps a little, but then she smiles and says:

"It would be hard to say no to that promotion, Draco. Yes, I'd love to..."

Then we both grin. Neville on Parvati's other side and Padma on my other side have realised what's going on.

"Hey, watch for those two here! They want to hear wedding bells!" Neville shouts and grins.

"Congratulations, Parvati and Draco!"

My future parents-in-law turn to us. Vaidyanathan looks a bit startled, but then smiles.

"Decided to get serious, now, have you? Congratulations, you two!"

I'm relieved. It looks like we'll have their blessing. The whole table starts turning to us now, as I put the ring on Parvati's finger. It's a nice gold band with a large diamond, circled with rubies. She stares at it, then turns back and embraces me. Her kiss is as sweet as ever and I know now what Harry felt. He and Hermione are grinning widely.

"Oh great, someone else who's going to get married, we're not the only ones anymore, Hermione!" Harry says and shows me the thumbs up.

In the end we almost miss the beginning of the new year. Remus and Sirius have just returned from taking their children to bed. Sirius starts opening two bottles of nicely chilled champagne, pours them into the glasses and we all rise from the table to get one. And then we celebrate the new year and our engagement. It's a wonderful party and both of us feel comfortable to have this group of people with us on this night, people who cherish us like we cherish them.



Remus


What a lovely surprise! I wouldn't have expected Draco and Parvati to be the next ones to announce their engagement. But it's nice that he's so sure about her. I do hope this marriage will work out.

An hour into the new year, Sirius and I decide to go to bed. We wish them all a nice remainder of the evening and move up to our room. The big living room has been sound proofed, so that no noise can get out. After we're through the door to the kitchen we hear nothing of the party anymore. We check on the two little ones who are sound asleep and close the door behind us to undress and go to bed. I'm laying my clothes on a chair and turn to my lover who pulls me into his arms.

"Hello, my love! How about we two have a little fun of the best kind?" he asks.

"Well, come to think of it I was going to suggest the same thing, so you'd better get rid of those garments real quick, lover!" I reply coyly.

"Consider it done."

He uses a disrobing spell. I'm grinning and point out:

"You got that one from me..."

"You've always been my best teacher, sweetheart."

I love it when he makes compliments like that. But I have no patience for verbal foreplay now, I want to get right to the real thing and pull him on the bed. I let myself fall backwards, manoeuvring him on top of me. Sirius grins. He knows that this means I want him to be the one who does all the 'work' tonight. I can already feel his cock getting stiff and when it touches mine I'm hard in no time. Sirius straddles me properly and we both move up, so we're fully on the bed. He bends down to kiss me and I can feel his arms enfolding me in a hug. I close my eyes for a moment. I know I'm quite tired, but I want this. Sirius moves from my mouth to my ear, licking it tenderly and slowly. I let my hands wander, starting with my fingers raking through his hair, which I gently push out of his face, then I glide over his neck to his shoulders.

I draw a long, deep breath and pull him close for another kiss. He thrusts his tongue into my mouth and duels with mine. It's going directly down to where it feels best, sending little shocks of pleasure through my body. I can feel the muscles on his back under my hands. They react to what he feels, twitch under my touch and from his lust. He rolls off me, turns on his side next to me, still kissing me, but now his hands start roaming over my body. I turn to my side as well, so he can spoon me. He pushes his right arm under my neck and holds me close. I lean my head on his arm, turn my face up, so we can kiss again.

"Gods, I love you, sweetheart," he mumbles between kisses.

His left hand wanders down to my cock. He gently starts to stroke it. I can feel his erection stick into the back of my thighs, but I can't reach it well in this position. Sirius moves to fondle my balls for a while. 'Yesssss...' Then he goes around my thigh and starts nudging my entrance. I push a bit against his finger, so he gets inside easily. It's so good that I'm closing my eyes again.

"Gods, love, don't stop, or rather, come on, push inside! I so want that cock inside of me, please!" I moan.

He summons the lubricant and smears some on his cock, while I hold the jar open for him. While he starts to insert his cock into my opening, I put the jar away again.

"Yes, oh yes, love, come on, deep inside! Now push!"

Sirius holds me tight and starts to thrust. He picks up my cock again, while I'm pulling him even closer. He lasts for a long time, concentrates on finding that spot inside of me that will make me roll my eyes back and moan. Thank heavens for silencing charms! Because I won't last long, it's so, so good! Sirius though has a slow round in mind, he does push with a regular rhythm, but holds out. His hand is curled around my erection, stroking and pumping in the same rhythm he pushes. When we finally reach our climax, Sirius first, I'm following only a minute later, we're totally spent. Both of us still breathe hard and Sirius just turns me around for a kiss...



Sirius


...when one of the children cries. Oh dear! Remus is still fully out of it, so it will have to be me. I untangle myself from my lover and kiss him quickly, then I sit up. With a silent 'please, won't you stop by yourself, love?' I get up and rush over to see what's wrong.

It's Denny. He's lost his pacifier and has woken up. I lift him up and hold him for a few minutes, but in the dark. He nuzzles into my chest, while I grope around his cot for the pacifier.

"Ah! Here it is, love, now there, that's my good boy. Are you going to sleep again?"

I'm caressing him over the head and kiss him tenderly, pick up his tiny teddy bear and push it into his arms. He grabs it and I hold him close for another while. Now he nuzzles his teddy. He's finally calmed so I can lay him down into the cot again. Our children wear sleeping bags, so there's only a light blanket to pull over him. I'm stroking once more over the little head and he sighs, then goes back to sleep. I quietly leave his room and return to our bed. Seraina hasn't heard her brother and is fast asleep still. When I reach our bedroom, Remus has fallen asleep, too. I put the lights out, pull up the duvet and spread it over both of us. Then I'm snuggling up to my lover and put my arm around him.