Categories > Anime/Manga > Trigun

A Little Friendly Advice

by Jexia 0 reviews

Written in response to a yaoi challenge. Midvalley and Wolfwood's first time together.

Category: Trigun - Rating: R - Genres: Humor, Romance - Characters: Caine, Dominique, E.G. Mine, Midvalley, Rai-dei, Wolfwood, Zazie - Warnings: [X] - Published: 2005-08-07 - Updated: 2005-08-08 - 1665 words - Complete

In retrospect, Wolfwood thought that maybe he should have just gone with his gut instincts instead of asking for advice about how to deal with Midvalley the Hornfreak.

Though he'd been partnered with the musician on assignments for a couple of months and tried to interest the sax man in going out for a friendly drink after work week after week, he'd been brushed off more times than he cared to count.

All he wanted to do was talk shop, debrief, and build mutual trust. It was annoying to have a partner who didn't seem to feel the same way.

Finally frustrated, he'd confronted the musician point blank.

"I'd just like to get to know you better. Just to make the partnership stronger."

Midvalley sighed and shrugged him off once again saying, "I don't like to get too close to coworkers."

"Really?" Wolfwood couldn't keep the sarcasm out of his voice. "That's not what I heard."

The musician sighed again as he picked up his sax case.

"It's none of your business what I do in my private life," he said, and walked away.

It was true, of course, but still annoying, especially when he heard that the musician, who wouldn't even sit down with him to have a drink, had fucked his way through the ranks of all the other Gung-Ho Guns. Out of the whole list of twelve, Nicholas D. Wolfwood was the only one he hadn't, and the priest found himself getting just a little burned up, not that he wanted a kissing partner, but for God's sake, what was so wrong, that they couldn't just be friends.

"What's wrong with me?"

It was pathetic, but he found himself asking just about any Gung-Ho Gun who would listen, that same question.

"You suck," was E.G. Mine's response.

"Yeah, well fuck you, too. I can't believe Midvalley would have sex with a loser like you."

"Well, he did. Talked me out of my spiked suit, my tights, my mask, and hooboy, when we did the nasty, it was NASTY. Only makes sense he wouldn't hang with a goody-goody priest like you. He likes it hard with lots of kink."

"Thanks for the visual. Think I'll go puke now."

Trying to get Caine to talk about Midvalley was a feat. He'd plied the silent sniper with liquor.

"Did you have sex with him?"

Caine answered with a long vigorous head bob.

"Blow job, huh?"

Caine nodded in reply.

"Any good?" asked Wolfwood.

The priest hadn't thought that the sniper's mask could split in a grin as wide as it did, but apparently, he was wrong.

He sighed in frustration and went over to buy a drink for Rai-dei the Blade.

"The Hornfreak?" said Rai-dei in response to the question from Wolfwood. "I challenged him to Shi-ai. He thought it meant the little death of LOVE. He choked my chicken until it squawked, and then he...."

"Spare me the details," said Wolfwood. "I don't have my portable confession handy."

"I'm not ashamed of what we shared," said the samurai.

Zazie the Beast was drinking at a corner table looking at the priest with a smug smile.

"I suppose you're looking for some pointers about how to make it with the Player."

"I just want to be friends."

"Right," said Zazie, in all sarcasm. "You'd have a better chance if you were a barnyard animal. He takes the idea of animal passion a little far."

"How would you know?" Wolfwood sneered.

"Threesome," smirked Zazie with a wicked chuckle.

"I don't believe you," the priest said.

"Have it your own way," said Zazie. "I did."

What a bunch of freaks, thought Wolfwood. I'm not going to get anything but freak advice from these losers.

He stood at the bar, asked for a double shot of bourbon neat.

A voice behind him chuckled low.

"You want advice? I'm the only source you need."


"Midvalley's so jaded. He's not capable of friendship, so don't waste your time. Just go straight to sex. That's all he's interested in. Oh, and a little tip. You can't do it hard enough to suit him. Like I said, he's had so much, you pretty much have to light a fire under him. And when I say, hard, I mean it. You're going to have to yank that thing like a bullwhip to get him off."

"Thanks, Dominique, but really all I want is to be friends."

"I don't believe that for a minute. Must be priestly hypocrisy. Just remember what I said. If you think you're doing it hard enough, you're not even close. SPANK him HARD! YANK him HARD. He loves it."

Wolfwood went back to the bar and had another drink while he digested this new information about the soft-spoken mild-mannered musician. He'd heard the man had a sex drive that wouldn't quit, but he didn't know he was such a wildman.

Maybe the mistake was trying to be friends. Maybe he should have just gone straight to sex. That's what everyone else seemed to think.

Next time, they came together on a mission...heh, thought Wolfwood. Maybe we can "come" together after the mission. The Hornfreak wanted it hard? Well, the Wolf-man could deliver that in spades.

In two weeks, Wolfwood and the Hornfreak were back together again. Even though they barely planned, still they worked together so well--really, it was incredible how they seemed to read the other's each and every move with such uncanny instinct.

The mission was another triumph.

Wolfwood had planned to invite Midvalley to the bar and this time, by God, he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"So, Midvalley, how about a drink," he asked his partner.

"Sure, let's have one," the sax man agreed.

"Well, this is a surprise," said Wolfwood. "To what do I owe the honor?"

"I heard you've been asking about me. I'd like to know why."

"I've been curious."

"Well, I was asking questions too. About you."



"Let's get a room then. We'll take the bottle with us, and finish our conversation there."

"Perfect," said Midvalley.

In the hotel room, the two men drank and watched each other with almost predatory intensity. Sitting in adjacent chairs, as if on cue, they lunged at each other, and cracked their skulls together sharply.

"What the...?"

They both rubbed the knots on their heads.

"What were you...?

"I was going to...."


"Oh, me too."

They were both a little embarrassed, but leaned in more carefully this time, but their noses bumped, and each time the one tried to accommodate the other, they over-corrected and ended bumping noses again.

"That smarts."

"No shit."

"I'm just so nervous," said Midvalley.


"Sure. This is my first time with you."

Wolfwood thought that was kind of sweet, so he leaned in and the musician leaned in again at the same time, but this time they managed to avoid concussions, and painfully mashed noses.

Instead, their teeth met in a hard clash of enamel.

"Ow!" exclaimed Midvalley.

"Shthith!" said Wolfwood.


"Shthith. I bit my tongue. I'm nervouth too," said Wolfwood.

"Let's just take our time," said Midvalley.

"Okay," the priest agreed.

They both undressed and sat on the edge of the bed together, each wondering gingerly, how to begin.

Wolfwood's mouth went to Midvalley's nipple and the sax player gasped at the sensation.

Wolfwood was relieved by the reaction. Now they were getting somewhere.

"Uh, that's plenty," said the sax man with gritted teeth.

"God, I'm good," thought Wolfwood.

"Your turn," said Midvalley as he leaned across to reciprocate the move.

"OH! JESUS!" the priest sang out. "That's..."

His hand went to Midvalley's flaccid cock. Surely, it should be aroused by now. Wolfwood knew he had to be more forceful, so he grasped it firmly, pulled, yanked and stretched it vigorously.

Midvalley did the same to him, both of them hard at the work of pleasuring each other.

Harsh gasps, and animal cries filled the room, and Wolfwood leaned forward again to take Midvalley's nipple in his mouth again.

"What the HELL are you DOING?" screamed the sax man.'

Wolfwood opened his jaws to protest, "I was sucking your nipple. It's supposed to feel good."

"You're biting it off, for God's sake, it hurts!" said Midvalley with tears in his eyes.

"Hurts?" the priest objected as his own eyes watered. "How do you think my cock FEELS? Are you trying to draw blood? It's not a taffy pull. That's my penis you're yanking!"

"But Dominique told me you like it like that!"

"Dominique told me the same about you," said Wolfwood, his brows knit in confusion.

Both men ended up chuckling. They belly laughed for a good half-hour, their giggles and chuckles rising and falling in waves as they pointed, and rubbed at the knots on their heads, their aching cocks, nipples and noses.

When they calmed down again, they kissed tentatively.

"Let's start again," said Wolfwood.

"You took the words right out of my mouth," said the sax man.

"Well, I haven't, but I will," said the priest and he suited his words to the action.

They didn't say another word again for a good long while, but the love they made was sweet.

And after, as they lay together, sated, Wolfwood turned to Midvalley, and asked, "When we met, why didn't you want to get to know me?"

"I liked you so much, I was afraid to get too close. I don't like to lose people I get fond of."

"But what changed your mind?"

"You're just too damned cute. I couldn't resist. Guess I'll just have to get my heart broken if you die."

"Me, too," said Wolfwood. "Does this mean we can finally be friends?"

Midvalley extended his hand, shook on it, and yanked the priest over.

"And lovers," he said just before he shut the priest's mouth with a long deep kiss.

"Amen!" the priest ejaculated when he came up for air.
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