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Categories > Celebrities > Dir en grey > Blue Painting

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• Blue Painting

  (#) Dunastu 2007-01-02

  Great story hun :) i read chapter one when it was up on it's own and read both chapters together. I think it all is very good and the second chapter was well worth the wait, but i shall point out a few things if i may.
  
  In chapter two, you use the word 'organ' in referance to Toshiya's cock. Yes, this is the scientifically correct name but when i read it, i found it a somewhat awkward word. In my experience of reading fanfics and writing them myself, the word'organ' doesn't get used much because it sounds like the musical instrument and is kind of technical and doesn't really feel in the right place in an ff. try sticking to cock, erection, member, length etc.
  
  Also, i think a bit of Kaoru/Die on the side would spice things up a bit, but keeping in mind that that story began as being mainly focused around shinya not being able to paint a man he saw in the cafe. stories which deviate from the seeminly initial plot-line, though interesting, can be confusing.
  
  So, thanks for writing this :) it's fab! hope to be seeing more soon

  Author's response

  I'm glad you are enjoying the story so far. :)
  
  Thank you for pointing that out to me. I didn't think much of the word until you said that. I went back and fixed it, and I'll be sure to keep that in mind next time. :)
  
  I'm not forgetting about the plot either. XD So don't worry, the main plot will be back next chapter. I'm just taking my time with this fic.
  
  Thank you for reading and for the help. ^__^

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