FicWad

Disclaimer: I owneth not Star Wars. Some of the dialogue and such are modified from the Barbara Park book "Mick Harte Was Here." A real tearjerker. Great book.

Tatooine finally disappeared from view. It seemed symbolic, in a way. A long time ago, I left the planet a free boy, no longer a slave. Now, I left the planet an orphan. A Jedi. I no longer had anything to do with Tatooine. All that was left of my life was the Jedi.

I guess that now I was more like the other Jedi. No attachments to anything else in the universe, nothing left of my life before I became a Jedi.

I reached up and keyed in a course to Geonosis. To Obi-Wan. To all that remained of my life. And it was in that moment, where I left Tatooine forever, where I moved forward to the Jedi, that it truly hit me. The funeral was bad, yes, but this was... different. More private.

Just because I couldn't see my old planet doesn't mean I couldn't feel it. The planet seemed... incomplete.

My mother was gone.

But where was she? She wasn't on Tatooine. I couldn't feel her on Tatooine. Then where was she?

I could feel the tears once more come to my eyes. I just couldn't take it. Silently, I stood, and walked out of the cockpit of the Nubian transport.

I rammed my fist against the wall. Hard. It hurt; I wanted it to hurt. Tears were flowing freely. I leaned against the wall, slid down it, and sat on the floor, much like I had in Cliegg's workshop nearly two days ago.

Padmé opened the door, and sat down next to me. "Anakin? Are you all right?"

I shook my head. "She's gone."

"I know."

"No, you don't," I replied quietly, not even having the energy to snap at her. "You don't know what it's like, to be able to know she's there without seeing her. To know she's alive, to know she's all right. And now... now she's gone."

"Ani. She's all right. She's just in a better place."

"Then where is she? I need to be able to put her someplace, Padmé. I need to know where she is. I need to know what she's doing. What do you do when you're..." I couldn't even say it.

Padmé was silent for a moment. "I always thought that Jedi believed when people pass away-" she was avoiding that word, too, "-they become one with the Force."

"But what is that supposed to mean? Where is she? How do I know she's not scared, or lonely?" I looked at her. "You don't think she's scared, do you, Padmé? I hate it when I think about that. But it just keeps coming into my head. I can't get the idea of her being scared and alone out of my head... Maybe she's not even out there at all. Maybe she's just... gone."

More silence. Then I continued. "I just want to know if she's okay. But when I try to picture her in my head, I can't. I just don't know where to put her."

Padmé reached out and touched my shoulder. I began to cry again.

She thought a moment. "Put her everywhere."

I was stunned. I don't know why. When I looked at Padmé, she seemed almost as shocked as I was.

"Master Yoda told me that the Force surrounds everything. So... If your mother has become one with the Force... that means she's everywhere."

For one moment I couldn't even say anything. I was just amazed at how... how right it felt.

"Then she could hear me, Padmé," I whispered.

There was at least a minute of silence as it all sunk in.

"Yes, Ani," she replied, hugging me. "She can."