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15. The unseen hell of a martyr

Department of Magical Law Enforcement - Ronald Weasley's Cell

Ronald Bilius Weasley was no more. He rationalized that to himself now. He had to believe. His belief in that he didn't exist showed to some unseen god that the crimes that had been committed upon him were not without reason. He had done a great many things to one, Hermione Jane Granger. He had done all of them out of one very particular sin, envy.

Ronald's mother had raised him in many shadows. The shadow of being born, a Weasley; among many other Weasleys, who had been born to be to serve the house of Gryffindor. Ronald knew that the family had been born to serve that family and no other, however Ronald had been cast aside as being consequential. He was overlooked and thought by his mum to be totally and utterly inconsequential. There was nothing spectacular about Ronald as being much like the first, second, and now the last Weasley heir. He was just another boy amongst a flock of Weasley boys.

Now, however, Ronald found himself reborn. He was something more than he had been before. He wasn't a he, any longer. Ronald had died when he had his first sexual orgasm being pleasured by a man. Ronald had been reborn when his beloved Jonathan had saw fit to make Rowena. Now she sat there. She sat in thought with her nipple torn in two parts, screaming in pain. She thought a great many things, but they contradicted themselves.

Row, as she called herself, and the many rows that she had with Hermione in a prior life; Row thought, not inappropriate. She thought that she had gotten what she had deserved. There was no atonement that she deserved. She had deserved everything that would come her way for what she had done to Harry. He was her closest thing to a best friend that she would ever have. She loved Harry.

That is when her thoughts had turned dark. She had Jonathan to thank. She loved and lusted for Harry. He was everything that encompassed her days and her nights. She thought of him well after Jonathan had left her in a whimpering state. She thought of how Harry had been close to her more so than any other. That was why she had been his second task during the Triwizard tournament, she finally realized. She knew that Harry had loved her above all else.

She closed her eyes, now, thinking about only him. There were things that she would never tell him. There were things that she couldn't tell him out of the humiliation that it would cause. She was a poof. She knew that now, and held that with honor and pride. She would never let another hold him, because that would put her into a position that she couldn't fathom. She absolutely couldn't be thought of as a second choice.

Harry Potter had loved her above all other, she rationalized now. She had to believe it, because without that belief, she would shrivel up, wither and die a horribly lonely existence. She wouldn't exist any longer and she would simply be Ronald Bilius Weasley. She would continue to be the sixth out of the seven children born to a family of insignificancy, a family born and bred for servitude.

Rowena winced, feeling the magic work on her torn nipple now. She felt the firm wood of Jonathan's wand press against the flesh. She felt the burning of the flesh knitting itself back together. She felt his cruelty, as her Jonathan re-inserted the hook into the freshly healed skin. She felt him cleaning off his seed with his finger and pressing that finger against her lips. Instinctively she sucked it clean, having repeated this act many times now.

With that act of humiliation completed, Jonathan left her cell without a word, leaving her in the overwhelming darkness. She lay, still suspended in the Acromantula silk harness, the hooks still pulling at her skin. The pain was not something that she hadn't come accustomed to feeling every day. It was still unbearable, however her mind worked around it now.

In her solitude, Rowena Weasley wept. She wept for her prior realizations about Harry and the shame that her greed had brought the Gryffindor family. Through this shame she finally remembered something that had been lost during the hours and days of torture. She was not alone in this room. Jonathan had impregnated her. She had a child within her body.

Rowena's weeping became soul-wrenching. She knew that she would be a horrible mother, after all, her only role-model for mum was her own, and she was currently two cells over. She knew that Jonathan would be a horrible father as well. There was no lying to one's self when he was not here. He didn't love her. She didn't love him. She had delusions of love for another, but her betrayal had thoroughly mucked up that relationship.

So she was here, suspended in a dark cell, where her only visitors had been her sister and her tormentor. She was naked in more ways than just flesh. She was a betrayer. She had betrayed everyone, even herself. She must be punished. Punished more than what Jonathan had done to her. Her mind had clearly snapped.

Rowena Weasley started swaying back and forth in the floating harness. The pain in her nipples was a rippling effect that traveled down to her clitoris and labia. Every place that was pierced was on fire. Higher and higher she rose, as if she were on a swing. Pain was all she knew in this last moment.

There was nothing more than pain. It enveloped and encompassed her as she rocked back and forth. It screamed from her lips and echoed off of the walls. It shot finally with a resounding thud, her head came in contact with the stone wall at full force. What was left of Rowena was twitching and convulsing flesh. The top of her head was clearly crushed under the force of her efforts. As the swing became slower and slower, do to the, now, lack of efforts. The silence that followed was not unexpected. At the swing lay still amidst the barren walls, slowly a drip was heard and a small thin pool of red began to take form in the center of the room.

Tonks Residence - back garden

"I'm sorry." Harry said, looking at Hermione now.

Harry was really looking at her, now. She was still the most beautiful girl, inside and out. What this was doing to him, just to be in her presence was tearing, violently at his heart. Had he spoken up, had he be a true Gryffindor, she would have been beside him, in love, for years. It was thrown away now because he had made the wrong choice in fourth year.

"I gathered, from both your letter and the pensieve." She said, a tear streaking down her face. "I'm sorry, too, Harry. When I told him..." Hermione paused not even wanted to say Ronald's name. "What I mean to say, was that back in fourth year for the ball when I told HIM he should have plucked up the courage, I was mad at the both of you really, and very much confused. Had you told me about the bickering in first year before even looking for me, I wouldn't have really made any sort of effort in befriending... him. You and I are really a calamity and series of missed opportunities."

"And the deal with Cho the following year?" Harry said, with a slight smirk, and with the mention of her name, Hermione scowled for a moment, before a brilliant smile washed over her face. Her cinnamon brown eyes were lit with a fire that Harry had become all too familiar with.

"She picked her proper loyalties, in the end." She said, almost spiteful. "As did you. Tonks is a wonderful person, Harry. You're lucky to have found her." She couldn't stop the tears now. The pain in her heart was so overwhelming that she broke at that moment. Harry rushed to put his arms around her. She placed her arm up in protest for a moment before looking at him, seeing the anguish in his eyes and in the tension in his face. "I've lost you." She said with a tone of finality. "Forever and always I've lost you now. I've been thinking, and talking with her, and realize that the opportunity for me to be where she is has come and gone, and I'm sorry if I'm feeling a bit down about it, but you really were a very important part of my life."

"Were? Hermione, I don't want to live without you next to me. I still need my best friend. I need you."

"But you won't need me the way that I so desperately need you Harry, not with her in the spot that I'm so jealous of not having in your heart."

"Please." He said, in almost an inaudible whisper. The air left his lungs at the moment and he couldn't for an unperceivable amount of time remember how to inhale. He choked on the lack of oxygen.

Unfortunately for that Harry, several things happened in relative quick succession. He fell to the ground convulsing. His mind had snapped completely in a mental break down that couldn't be stopped. He was shutting down. Voldemort was in his head, laughing hysterically, and at that moment, both Nymphadora Tonks and Luna Lovegood rushed out into the back yard in an equally hysterical panic.

"What the bloody hell did you do, Hermione?!" Luna was screaming now, rather livid, she jumped, cradling Harry in her arms. She wrapped him up tightly. Tonks started to protest, but stopped at an sickeningly green aura wrapped around the two. She could see the pain etched in Harry's tightly shut eyes. The scar on his forehead was violently red and pulsing.

"I-I-I..." Hermione started but was immediately cut off by Luna. The dreamy look gone from her eyes, and sheer command and presence in the girl was now frightening.

"Sit down on his right, now." Luna said, plainly, and when Hermione did so without hesitation, she continued, "Good, now wrap your arms around him. Tonks?"

"Yes?" Nymmy said, understanding that whatever the blonde girl had planned it had to be done now, and without question.

"Behind him, wrap you around around him, and lock your fingers interlaced around his front. Be quick about it."

All three of them formed a circle, and the aura grew from green to a brilliant white. All three had their eyes locked on Harry. What none of them saw was the pain that was being transferred to Luna. She hid this from everyone, but it was worse than the Cruiciatus curse. The heat coming off of Harry's scar began to subside. The evidence of pain in his face began to show signs of leaving as well.

Luna opened her eyes now. She could see the other two looking at her in awe. It made her very nervous as she had only done this in front of someone and that had been today and it had been with Harry as well, at her home. She reached up and gently brushed her hand against Harry's cheek, seeing his eyes flutter open, and looking around at the group hug he found himself in, he did what any sixteen year old would do. He blushed tremendously.

"Alright then, Harry?" Luna asked quickly.

"Um, yeah, sorry bout this." He said, feeling Nymmy's arms around him, her hot breath on his neck, he turned toward her seeing the fright in her eyes immediately give out to the love that he had reflected back to her. Nymmy's lips immediately descended upon Harry's in a ravenous desperation. Harry returned the kiss with everything that he felt for the girl.

"Hermione." Luna said, getting up off of Harry's lap and looking at the older girl now. "Let's give them a bit of privacy while we have a little chat." Luna finished with the same command that she had previously, offering her hand. She easily lifted Hermione up to her feet and they made their way off to another part of the back garden. Luna took her wand from behind her left ear and did a quick silencing spell, and then proceeded to sit herself down in the soft grass, urging Hermione to do the same.

"You love him, don't you?" Hermione asked accusingly, but Luna ignored the tone and answered as if it was obvious.

"Of course I do. He's the only true friend that I've ever had."

"But..."

"There are no buts, Hermione. I would do anything for Harry and he knows that. I've giving him my oath in blood and did so of my own free will. He will always be my friend, and I will always be his. You can't put conditions on love, Hermione, if you do you will lose in love every time."

"You've changed." Hermione said now, making the obvious observation.

"No Hermione, I've not changed, I'm simply not hiding anymore. I don't care who knows how or what I feel. I will not be pushed any longer. I'll still look for the Crumpled-Horn Snorkacks with Daddy, but that's more for him than anything else. I've never been good around people, but one thing has been a consistency in my life since meeting him, over there, and do you know what that is?"

"He doesn't judge you."

"Correct. He accepted me at face value. He has never made fun of me, nor has he denounced anything that I have said. He has been the only boy that I've ever been on a date before, and quite frankly will probably be the only one that I would ever date. If it means that I give up my life to help him, then I will surely do it. I will not stand to see anyone hurt him, and you did that, again, tonight." Luna said with a finality in her voice.

But... I... oh bloody hell." Hermione said, realizing everything that Luna had just said to her. She had hurt Harry, deeply, but at the same time she was still hurting. She needed him, she just didn't know how she would get out of this. She put her head in her hands and wept.

Luna for her part was still very angry but at the same time her heart went out to Hermione. She knew what she was feeling because they were kindred spirits of a sort. They could very easily see that they were in the same boat when it came to the man they loved, together, and didn't want to put themselves into the position to be in some sick and twisted version of a harem. The idea of share a love for one man together was repugnant, but looking at themselves as individuals, while they did love the same person, the love that had formed there were for different reasons.

The other side of the garden held a different sort of conversation, altogether. Nymmy knew Harry very well, and could see in what had happened tonight that he had been doing a good job of hiding his pain. To say that she was upset about it would be putting an explanation to her feelings mildly.

"How dare you Harry James Potter. How could you keep this from me?"

"Keep what? I'm human. I've got a load of things coming down on me and it's very difficult. I'm sorry that it came out this way."

"And Luna? What's with her?"

"We're friends. Very good friends. You read her letter. There isn't a thing that I can do about it."

"She an empath, you realize this, right?"

"So..."

"So it means that she is better adept to help you with these issues than I am and..."

"And what, love?"

"I'm afraid of losing you again, after just getting you into my life." Nymmy said this now, and the fear was not only evident in the words that she spoke but in her unwaiving eyes which were locked onto him. "She loves you very much. She's fiercely loyal without any fault, and she's dead sexy."

"Bloody hell, Nymmy, you've described her, you and Hermione."

"That's another thing, don't even think about a harem, mister, I draw the line right there."

"Never crossed my mind. They're my friends, and while I admit that my feelings for Hermione are quite different from the feelings that I have for Luna, do not mistake my loyalty to the both of them. I do love them in many ways." He said, seeing a slightly disappointed look in her eyes. "But..."

"But?"

"But, I am most definitely head over heels in love you with Nymphadora Lily Tonks, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Do you understand me?" He said, never letting his gaze fall from her.

He could see a small war raging in her, but the war was over at the end of the sentence. Her small smile played at the corner of her lips. He eyes were a blaze of adoration. She felt his arms come around her enveloping her in a tight hug. He placed his head on her shoulder, gently kissing the inside of her neck.

"Harry." Luna said walking over to them now. He looked up at her approaching, noticing the look of determination combined with a kindness that was all her own.

"Yes, Luna?" He said quietly.

"You've got some issues to resolve, however we're," She motioned to herself and Tonks, "Aren't going anywhere until they are." Harry only nodded, and looked at Hermione. She had fresh tears still running down her cheeks. His heart immediately went to her, and at Nymmy's release he immediately embraced his best friend.

"Please, Hermione, please stop crying." Harry said soft and gently into her ear.

"Yes, love." She said, meekly. Her heart may be breaking but the time for hiding her feelings was over. She knew it. He knew it.

"We'll get through this, you know it. I'll be here for you, Nymmy and Luna too. We'll survive getting ourselves back on track. But..."

"But?"

"But, I need my brave, smart, witty, charming, sarcastic..."

"Sarcastic?"

"Is water wet?"

"Obviously."

"Hince the sarcastic." He said, quickly earning him a mild punch in the arm.

"I need my best friend back, more so now than ever. I need you. I'm sorry it's not what you want, but..."

"Oh ALRIGHT. Bloody hell Harry..." She looked at the utter indignation in his eyes.

"You just cussed."

"Yeah, what of it. Ronald was saying that at a rate of once every three to four minutes during each and every conversation that I had ever had with the poof."

"Um, you saw that article, too?" He said, giggling slightly.

"Harry?"

"Yes, 'Mione?"

"Promise me this one thing?"

"Don't ever give up on me again. I don't think my heart could bear it again."

"Constant Vigilance!" He barked, causing immediate laughter from the four sitting in the back garden.