Categories > Games > Kingdom Hearts

Kingdom Hearts 2: A Poem

by horsie890 1 review

Sora-bashing. Apparently I always need to say this, as some people can't take a joke: NO OFFENSE IS MEANT. Except towards Sora.

Category: Kingdom Hearts - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor, Parody - Characters: Axel, Donald Duck, Goofy, Mickey Mouse, Namine, Roxas, Sora - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2007-01-02 - Updated: 2007-01-03 - 478 words - Complete

Well now it's occurred to me
That this series will not end
Cause Sora's back
And going on
A new journey again
I have had enough of this
It's really getting old
But not as old as Vexen
He likes growing mold

It all starts out with Roxas
In his own Matrix world
Axel acts like Morpheus
Naminé, the Oracle
He runs around with Hayner
And wins a tournament
Which Seifer quit because
He really sucked at the event

Later on we find Sora
Who's finally woken up
He missed out on all the fun
And still did no growing up
He still is quite the idiot
Who's forgotten what went on
While he was being held prisoner
In Castle Oblivion

He runs around like last time
Smashing Heartless brains
And finding Org. 13 members
Who hate that he likes chains
Sadly enough, he kills a bunch
But there are more to go
If only he would stop and think
Or eat some cookie dough

And if by chance a monster
Hits him too hard in the head
King Mickey comes to save him
Like Yoda, whom they dread
He kills the monster
And leaves before his friends can say hi
He's got much better things to do
Than to help that stupid guy

Then he meets up with Axel
While fighting Nobodies
And even though they kill them all
With quite surprising ease
A billion of them show up
Ready for another fight
Wouldn't you know it
Axel will save Sora from this plight

He goes kaboom like fireworks
On the Fourth of July
And tons of fangirls sob and whine
As they watch the pyro die
Sora finds out what to do
But just before he leaves
He gets a brand new keychain
One from Axel he receives

He feels real bad that Axel died
To save his worthless life
But obviously not enough
To stab Kairi with a knife
That would really make my day
But sadly, it won't take place
So all across a bunch of worlds
He continues the chase

The last one that he has to fight
Is Xemnas, Number One
He says that he's Superior
Fighting him isn't fun
First you fight him all alone
Then with Riku by your side
And lastly he becomes Darth Vader
And your brain will be fried

If by chance you defeat him
And kill Orgy 13
Then even though you've got some skill
I'll smash your TV screen
Because they weren't evil
As I have said before
They just wanted to have their hearts
And though they seemed hardcore

They're really quite nice people
Or, at least, they USED to be
When that retarded character
With the I.Q. of a flea
Picked up a giant key one day
And whacked their stuffing out
So now they're all six feet below
And made the fangirls pout
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