Categories > Games > Kingdom Hearts

Why, Indeed

by horsie890 0 reviews

Axel and Zexion decide to answer an age-old question. With everyone else's help, of course.

Category: Kingdom Hearts - Rating: G - Genres: Humor, Parody - Characters: Axel, Demyx, Lexaeus, Saix, Zexion - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2007-01-02 - Updated: 2007-01-03 - 567 words - Complete




"For a cookie?"


"200 munny."

"Done." Demyx smiled. Zexion sighed. He knew he was going to regret ever agreeing to help Demyx. The last time that had happened, the guitarist had forced him to listen to that godforsaken iPod. That did not end well. But with 200 munny, he could get a decent hammer to smash the stupid thing...

"Great! I'll be right back after I tell everyone else." Demyx ran off in a random direction while Zexion collapsed on the couch to wait. Though nothing was ever certain for the Nobodies, there was one thing they could always count on.

Axel could not drive.

Axel was afraid of driving.

Axel would not go near a road as long as he half-lived.

That was all about to change.

Demyx returned, half-dragging a very disgruntled pyromaniac behind him.


"DEMYX IF YOU DON'T LET ME GO THAT IPOD IS BECOMING SCRAP METAL!!" Demyx promptly released him and raced back to his room to protect his beloved music player. Zexion and Axel began a glaring contest. Zexion always won because of Axel's short attention span. Finally the purple-haired man rose from the couch.

"Axel, I have a proposition for you."

"If it involves water, Demyx, or a car, then forget it."

"There's munny."

"I'm listening."
"See, Axel, it's a nice calm street. No traffic, no cars, no pedestrians...where are you going?" Axel glared at the concrete with every step. Zexion caught up with him.

"Forget it."

"100 munny?" He stopped.

"200?" Axel turned around.

"Fine. 300 munny. Now cross the stupid street before I have to chase you." Axel smirked and walked past Zexion to the stop sign. But as he approached it, his smirk turned to a look of pure horror, and his face lost its tan color. Zexion walked across the street easily with a slight smirk, then called back to Axel.

"Well?" The pyro took a deep breath and looked to the right, then the left. Zexion had been right; there was no one around except them.

"Okay. I'm going." Axel took a tentative step toward the other side of the street. So far so good. Another step, and both feet were on the asphalt. He smiled. This would be easy, even after that golf cart incident.

Then along came Demyx, riding on an electric scooter. Axel squealed and retreated just in time to avoid being flattened.
Unfortunately he retreated to the middle of the ten-lane road. Saïx drove by- and almost intentionally over- him in a brand new car. Luckily for him it had tinted windows, or once Axel got out of the fetal position he would be dead. Meanwhile, Zexion was laughing his face off. Axel stood, completely white with shock, when he saw the front of a semi truck coming straight for him, an oblivious Lexaeus at the wheel. So Axel did what any person about to die would do: he created a burning wall of flames to destroy the truck.

After the burning mass of twisted metal crashed into a nearby house, Axel's shock turned into rage. He approached Zexion slowly and deliberately. The purple-haired man was still laughing insanely.

"S-so, Axel," he choked out, still laughing and gasping for air. "Why d-did the chicken c-cross the road?" Axel summoned the chakrams.

"To get the emo on the other side."

They never did hear from Zexion again.
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