FicWad

Things just haven't been the same for me or any of the other guys for that matter. The "emo and scene" fad has been over for a little over five years now and I still can't believe all that I had; the fame, the fortune, the legions of fans. It was all over and it's never coming back. The only thing that I never had was Brendon. The years have past since I told Brendon how I felt; not sure of how he would take it. I now know and our careers had suffered from it. Last I heard he was with Pete Wentz. I never really had my chance to sit down and talk with Brendon about anything really. I haven't had a phone call, a message, or anything from him in ages. Does he even know that I'm still here; waiting on the chance to ever see him again?

I close my eyes after I pull up to a parking place close to a shady area in the park's general parking area. I decided to take a much needed walk today. The stress of helping my cousin Greg at his place of business has taken a great toll on me. It was cooler than I expected it to be in Las Vegas today so I put a light hooded sweatshirt on over my shirt before I stepped out of the car. My mind raced with everything that has happened in the last five years as I shut my car door and locked it; sticking my thin hands into my hoodie pockets along with my keys.

I stared at the ground as I walked around the worn out track. I just wasn't up to looking up and out at the world today. It wasn't long after I had walked roughly about a fourth of a mile when something caught my attention, someone on one of the benches feeding some birds with small crumbs of bread. His dark hair shined in the sun as he turned his head towards the right almost facing me. It was him. After all these years, it was Brendon.

He was alone. I panicked and hid behind a near by tree. I pulled my hands from my pockets, placing one hand over my heart and the other over my mouth, undoubtedly speechless. Was it really him or did I just imagine someone else out of my own delusional mind because I was thinking about him. I peeked around the side of the tree, taking another glace at the form sitting on the bench. He looks more mature now, not in a gross 40 year old man kind of way but more like a wiser but still youthful kind of way.

What was I to say to him?

Is that seat taken? Congratulations.

No. That's just stupid. I summed up what all courage I thought that I had left and walked casually toward him. His head faced away so now is the perfect chance. I came up behind him and tapped on the back of the bench.

"Hi." I meekly spoke.

He turned around and I saw those eyes, those brown eyes that drew me in so many years ago. They were still the same. That chestnut brown that makes you shiver when he looks at you.

"Ryan?" he questioned as he squinted slightly while furrowing his eyebrows.
"Um... yeah." I hesitated and rubbed the back of my neck with my left hand.
"I haven't seen you in years Ry. Come. Sit down." He patted the place next to him.

I still stood where I was standing.

"Actually." I spoke up. "Would you like to take a walk with me?"

He stood up and adjusted his clothes.

"Yeah. I don't have anything really planned right now." He smiled gently as he walked around to the other sided of the park bench close to me.

We started to walk around the track.

"Brendon?" I asked quietly.
"Yeah Ryan?"
"I gotta tell you something but my mind; it kinda goes fast. I'll try to slow it down for you but I think I'd like to take a drive after I tell you this. I'm scared at what you'll think."
"You can tell me anything Ryan." He and I stopped walking as he turned to face me, placing his hands on my shoulders.
"I want to give you something, that I've been wanting to give to you for years. My heart." I looked down at my feet and back up to his eyes. "My pain won't cover up. You left me and my heart won't take this cover up."

He looked at me and tried to speak but I cut him off before he got a chance.

"I came to see the light in my best friend. You seemed as happy as you've ever been. My chance of being open was broken and now you're Mr. Him. My words; they don't come out right but I'll try to say I'm happy for you. I think I'm gonna take that drive now."

He looked either deeply hurt or had pity for me. I couldn't tell which.

"And I can't change this and I can never take this back now but I can't change your mind."

His mouth fell open slightly and waited for me to finish what I was saying.

"My memory is haunted of you everyday. I needed to tell you for the longest time but I didn't know how. Now that I have, will you make it go away? Please?"

He looked back down to the ground.

"I guess not." I answered and started to walk back to my car.

Brendon caught my arm and pulled me towards him. He pushed my hair out from my eyes and behind my ears. He ran his fingers over the side of my face and kissed me.

A/N : I wasn't sure if I wanted to write a sequel to this or not. Please review and let me know. Thanks for reading.