Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance

Mr. Giggles

by MyVengefulRomance 44 reviews

Poor Frankie. That hamster he gave to Gerard is getting more attention than him! What's a jealous boyfriend to do? Oneshot, slash warning.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor, Romance - Characters: Frank Iero, Gerard Way, Ray Toro - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2007-01-06 - Updated: 2007-01-06 - 1034 words - Complete

Mr. Giggles Disclaimer- I don't own.

A/N- Oh. It's just me here, trying to prove that I'm crazy. So, enjoy this fluffy little oneshot. (Oh, and fluff is NOT my thing. Ye be warned.)

Warning- Traumatic hamster death. You've been warned. (Duh. See the word 'warning'.)

Frank sighed and rolled his eyes. That damned Mr. Giggles or Wiggles or whatever the hell Gerard named it was getting more attention than him! And that's not cool.

'Hamster' does NOT override 'boyfriend' on the love-scale!

So there Frank was, sitting on the couch as Gerard cuddled the freaking demon more than him.

Frank cleared his throat, and Gerard only wiggled a finger in the hamster's face and cooed lovingly.

Frank cleared his throat louder this time and Gerard finally looked at him.

"Baby, maybe you should get some water," he suggested, before rubbing the hamster's belly.

Frank's left eye twitched and he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Humph," he said, half-hoping that Gerard would maybe pay attention to him if he pouted.

No such luck. Gerard ignored him, petting and cooing and being a complete idiot, in Frank's eyes anyway.

This was really ironic. Like, not in a funny way either.

Frank had gotten the damned hamster for Gerard as a two year anniversary gift. And now, look. Gerard played with the damned thing more than he talked to Frank!


Frank finally stood up and went to the kitchen. Very secretly, he pulled the phone off the hook and dialed Ray's number.

"Hello?" Ray answered.

"Hey. Look, I need you to do me a favor," Frank whispered, his eyes darting to the living room repeatedly.

"Why are we whispering?" Ray whispered.

"Because Gerard is in the next room!" Frank yelled. He gasped, covering his mouth and glancing at his lover.

Gerard didn't notice.

Ray laughed.

"Okay, man. What do ya need?"

"I need you to assassinate Gee's hamster," Frank said, lowering his voice.

"You want me to kill Mr. Giggles? Why?" Ray's voice was filled with disbelief.

"It gets more attention than me," Frank said softly.

This Ray found to be hilarious.

"Oh God, Frankie! That's pathetic! HA! You're jealous of a hamster! Ah, that's good."

"Yes, I am jealous. Now, are you going to do it, or what?" Frank hissed.

Ray laughed.

"Sure, man. The little demon bit me. I've been wanting to kill it for awhile now."

"Good," Frank said, sighing in relief. "Now, make sure that you kill it in a way it looks natural. Don't just, like, rip it's head off."

"Damn. I guess a flame thrower is out of the question, then?"

"Yes, Ray. A flame thrower is out of the question," Frank sighed, rolling his eyes.


"When are you going to do it?"

"Tonight, I guess."

Frank glanced into the living room, hoping that Gerard wasn't in the same spot. He was.

"Good. I'll call you once he's asleep."

"How come you won't do it?" Ray asked suddenly.

Frank sighed and said, "I can't kill Gee's hamster. I just can't."

"Fine. See ya tonight," Ray said, hanging up.

Frank put the phone back into its receiver and went back to the living room, grinning.

Later that night, Gerard finally put the hamster back into its cage.

Gerard, smiling pleasantly, kissed Frank's cheek.

"'Night, babe. See you in the morning. I'm tired."

"'Night," Frank said, head down. He felt kind of guilty. Only kind of, though. That damned hamster needed to die.

Gerard kissed his cheek again, and left for the bedroom.

Frank sighed heavily, and called Ray. Then, he paced back and forth until Ray knocked on the door.

Frank rushed over to open it, and said breathlessly, "Hey," as he pulled Ray inside.

Ray nodded, and held up a bottle of peroxide.

"Will this do it?" he asked.

Frank, eyes wide, nodded.

Ray smiled and patted Frank's back.

"Dude, this is a twenty dollar hamster. If Gee gets all suicidal, buy him a new one."

"Jesus! Do you think-."

"Kidding! Just kidding, Frankie. Lighten up."

Frank nodded, and watched as Ray poured the peroxide into Mr. Giggles' little water bottle. The hamster, being the little idiot that it was, scuttled over and licked at the little spout.

Frank and Ray stood there, staring at the furry creature to see what would happen.

After awhile, Mr. Giggles let out a little squeak, and then, it flipped over, dead.

Frank gasped, and Ray patted his back once again.

"Go to bed. I'm leaving."

Frank nodded, and obeyed Ray's orders. He crawled into bed next to Gerard after changing into his PJ's, and then fell into a sleep filled with hamsters.

DYING hamsters.

Frank woke up to a very loud scream.

Frank fell out of bed, gasping. He ran to living room to see Gerard clutching a furry, brown mass in his hands.

"What is it?" Frank gasped breathlessly.

Gerard turned to him, his green eyes wide and his lower lip trembling.

"Frankie...our love hamster, he's dead!" he wailed.

Frank looked at the body in Gerard's hands.

"Yup, it's definitely dead."

"'It'? 'It'? It's a he! It was a he!" Gerard wailed, bursting into tears.

Frank pulled the distressed vocalist to his chest, and whispered words of comfort.

"He's dead, he's dead, he's dead...," Gerard chanted.

" was a /hamster/," Frank said after awhile.

"I know," Gerard said, pulling away and sniffling. "But you got him for me. That made him special."

"Oh," Frank said, biting his lip and looking at the floor.

"But I'm still here. Isn't that good enough?" he asked.

"Of course, baby!" Gerard giggled, burying his face in Frank's chest. "I'm sorry. I was being silly."

"I'll just go get a new one tomorrow."

Frank sighed and kissed Gerard's cheek.

"I'll be write back. I have to make a phone call."

Gerard nodded glumly and Frank walked to the kitchen.

Frank dialed a number, and put the phone to his ear.

"Hello, Ray? Look, we're gonna need some more peroxide."


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