Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > This Bitter Pill

But it seems here, I'm never quite alive, I'll share your ghost tonight.

by getup_n_go 5 reviews


Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2007-01-07 - Updated: 2007-01-08 - 719 words

Epilouge: But it seems here, I'm never quite alive, I'll share your ghost tonight.

Title: A Verpertine Haunting - Goodbye Tomorrow


Three years later, Pete Wentz sat on the verge of 30 and wondered where time went. Fall Out Boy had put out one last record, released to critical acclaim, but low fanfare.

Pete was sitting in his house, on his couch, watching Hemmingway sleep. He scratched his head and sighed, listening to his fiancé fumble around in the kitchen. He decided to move on, assuming Corbin would have just cared for his happiness and would've hated to see him be alone and sad. He told this girl that he could never love her with all of his heart. A large part of it had died three years ago to get lost in the limbo somewhere between never being able to fully forgiving Corbin and the ties that became severed with Patrick.

He had always promised himself that no matter what, he and Patrick were always going to be there for each. But when he said things like that, he never imagined the love of his life would get pregnant with Patrick's baby and then commit suicide. He missed Corbin terribly. The last Fall Out Boy record was written in large part as an ode to her life and the life they shared.

It not only hurt Patrick when he received Pete's lyrics for the final album, but shocked him equally. He wasn't even sure where Pete got the nerve to write such words. Patrick never felt forgiven by Pete, he never felt okay around him again. Corbin put such a wedge between the once best friends, that it forced their problems to the point beyond repair. Patrick had clung on to the memory of his daughter for over a year. Even though they never really met, he knew that she was aware of him. It took him forever to let someone redecorate the nursery he had made. He wanted to seal it off and never let it be disturbed again, but decided against it, thinking it might've been a little creepy.

As he watched Pete let another love him, he felt cold and empty at the mere thought of falling in love again. It just didn't seem right to him. Maybe someday, years down the road he would be able to get serious about another relationship, but even now, the wounds were hard to heal. His life was slowly disintegrating; he barely kept his head above water anymore. He was on two different anti-depressants, the slump he fell into after Corbin and his daughter's death was heavy, and he was still no where near letting the grief clear. Every year, on the anniversary of her passing, Patrick visited the small tombstones that sat side by side. He had paid for his daughter to be buried beside Corbin, whose plot was paid for by Pete. He always sat there for hours, just crying his eyes out, thinking about the way things should be at the exact moment. He brought his daughter a gift every year on the day of her due date and wondered every year where the gifts actually went.

He no longer wished for his life to carry on, it was all down hill at 26. He realized when he was 20 that life in a few years was going to be slow, but he didn't realize that it would also send him to the edge, to a life that was going to be without forgiveness or finality.

The day of Patrick's funeral was temperate and calm, as Pete mused, exactly like Patrick himself. As the bodies cleared from the casket, Pete, Joe and Andy stood and pondered over how a guy always so full of life just had no more of it to live.

It's not that there is any closure to this story; it's a story that lives on in the heartache of its characters. The story lives on in the memory of what once was, or the fantasies of what should have been, what might have been. The only thing we know: it's better to burn out, then to fade away.

AN: How Patrick died is for you to imagine. I feel like it's really finally over, it was just missing something that has now found a place.
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