FicWad

Claire smiled at Brian's comment. No matter how crude it was she was still very intrigued by Allison's story. She was even more intrigued by the criminal himself.

She always figured that underneath it all he was a genuine person. He may have been a little rough around the edges, but she knew that he had been dealt a bad hand in life. He had to put up with the activities in his home, and the fact that love was pretty non-existent in his life. He had once told her that he didn't care for it, and that love between one guy and one girl couldn't happen. His opinion had spoken volumes to her; it was quite obvious that he stopped trusting people long ago - that they just ended up hurting him.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that he was hurting. The look in those big dark eyes had said it all. He was bitter and resentful, yet at the same time he wanted to be better than that. He didn't want to be the dumb asshole that everyone told him that he was. He wanted to keep people at arm's length without ever stooping to their low.

He wasn't as inconspicuous as he tried to be.

She thought that maybe that was something that attracted her to him. He was so rough and exciting, yet at the same time he was so vulnerable. She felt that she could really relate to that vulnerable side of him. Although he didn't show it often, she always wanted to reach out to him when he did.

At the same time, that rebellious side of him was so exciting to her. He could be so much fun, and so dangerous that it was exhilarating. He literally took her breath away. She remembered how he was so cruel to her about her earrings. How he was so spiteful because she could afford the beautiful jewelry when all he could get was a carton of cancer sticks. He was so mad - she wasn't sure what exactly sparked it - that he just ripped her apart on everything from her father right down to her nail polish. He took a lot of cheap shots on her, going as far to stereotype her as a prom queen and her mother as a depressed drunk. Of course neither of the two things was true, but he went out of his way to place just as many preconceived thoughts about her as she did him.

But when he dipped his head down to kiss her at the end of that detention, his body spoke a very different language than it had earlier in the day. She had seen his eyes light up, and the captivation that was placed behind them. She watched him as she pulled her lips away, as the corners of his own lips twitched into a seductive smile. She watched as she drove away and he put 'daddy's' diamond earring into his ear. The action alone told her that he didn't hate her, and that maybe she intrigued him just as much as he did her.

She never expected him to drop his life for her; she didn't really expect things to be easy either. She never thought that they would never speak to one another again. It was strange that when they passed one another in the hallways following that detention, they never seemed to give one another a second glance. They never spoke again; they never met again, nothing at all happened.

When she had found out that there were interactions between the others after the first detention she was a little jealous. John had spoken - repeatedly - with Brian, Andy and Allison had communicated, but nothing ever came of her and the others. She knew she was guilty as charged for telling them that it wouldn't; she knew she was guilty as charged for feeling somewhat relieved when they didn't say anything to her when she was with her friends. She was also guilty as charged for - deep down inside - wishing it didn't have to be that way. High school was so messed up.

Now that they were stuck here again, and pouring their hearts out to each other again, she was more confused than ever. They trusted her - they trusted each other - with every little secret, and it took a lot of guts to say some of the things that had been said, yet they still did it. She couldn't quite figure out where the chemistry between them all had come from; was it supposed to happen this way? They had definitely shown her the light the first time around, and for that she made a promise to herself to never be fooled by prejudice again. She became a nicer person, and became more in touch with herself.

The only thing that was missing from that point on was the four of them.

Now that they were stuck here again, she was sure that something more would be done. She never felt freer to be herself, for she had a hard time having any sort of deep or emotional conversation with the girls - people she considered to be friends for years - yet, she had no problem with these people. They brought out a side to her that no one else could. She could be Claire Standish: the nice girl who was a good listener and a good friend. She wouldn't be Claire Standish: the stuck up, ignorant, popular bitch; she was more than that when she was with the breakfast club - and for that she longed to start fresh with friendship.

But would it be that easy? She knew the answer to that question was a definite no. Would it be worth it in the end? She knew the answer to that question was different than the former. Allison would make an excellent friend, Andy would be fun to hang out with, and Brian would be a terrific person to talk to.

And John? Well John would be nice to have around any which way.

... ... ...

Bender eyed the giggling faces. It pissed him off that they thought he was just some big gay teddy bear. He wouldn't admit it out loud, but it made him uncomfortable knowing that they would see an emotional side to him. He was always making it a habit to keep his guard on; people didn't mess with him that way; he didn't get back stabbed or hurt.

We watched Allison; she wasn't laughing. Claire was grinning like the Cheshire cat, Andy and Brian were still chuckling, but Allison was just sitting there with a smug look on her face like she had deciphered some ancient Egyptian script - like she had untangled him.

Well he wasn't going to go down without a fight.

He looked her straight in the eye and cleared his throat. "You sure are good at that you know."

The other students quieted down and watched him closely. Allison blinked nervously. "Good at what?"

"Getting into other people's shit without saying anything about you."

She looked as if she were getting a little defensive and that had made Bender grin. He knew that two could play at that game, and if she was going to score on him he was going to come back with a hat trick. They knew shit all about the basket case, only that she thought adults were heartless and that she could doodle with her toes. He didn't think that was a big deal.

"What do you want to know?" She had her game face on, almost as if she were ready for his attack.

He shrugged. "Why are you so interested in what goes on with the rest of us? All I know about you is that you're a compulsive liar. How do I know that everything you've told us hasn't been bullshit?"

Allison blinked a couple of times and blew her hair out of her face. "It wasn't bullshit."

Bender cocked an eyebrow. "How do I know that?"

Andy interjected. "Because she told you she wasn't lying."

Bender rolled his eyes at the jock's apparent stupidity. "But she also said she had a lying problem, Sporto."

She huffed and folded her arms over her chest. "I only lied about being a nympho...I never lied to you about anything else."

Bender nodded. "Okay, so why bother digging around for everyone else's dirt when you aren't gonna spill on your own? You scared?"

Allison narrowed her eyes. "I'm not scared...I just doubt you would want to hear about my problems."

Andy's face softened and he stared at her intensely. "Why would you think that? You're problems are just as important as anyone else's are..."

She shrugged. "No one ever asks. No one stops and gives a shit any other time. Why should I bother with it if no one cares?"

Bender eyed her suspiciously. "So why do you care about everyone else if they 'don't' care about you?"

She shrugged. "I don't know...it's just..."

He raised his eyebrows expectantly. "It's just what?"

She stopped in mid sentence and closed her mouth quickly. Her eyes began to pool up with tears and her line of sight fell from him to the floor. "I don't want to talk about this..."

Bender rolled his eyes. "Well I don't think that Claire here wanted to talk about her sexuality, but you still got her to."

She scrunched up her face and a tear rolled down her cheek. "I don't have anything better to do, you know."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Than what?"

She looked at him again, this time with more sadness in her eyes. "I don't have anything better to do than to listen to other people talk. I want attention - but I don't get it." She wiped at her eyes with her sleeve and sighed. "People say interesting things, but my life isn't interesting at all."

Claire pursed her lips together. "It doesn't have to be that way you know..."

She blew a tear off of her top lip angrily. "But it does! That is just the way it's always been. I'm a nobody - a nonexistent. No one would even notice if I was gone, you know."

"That's not true..." Andrew murmured.

She shrugged. "It is...I've accepted it."

"So why are you cryin' about it then?" Bender piped up.

Finally she broke down. Bender didn't necessarily want her to get so upset and cry, but he wanted to know the deal. He wanted to know why she had pressed Claire, why she had pressed him when she was so unwilling to give up herself. She wiped at her eyes furiously. "I'm sick of being so invisible. I just want to be myself, but at the same time I want people to acknowledge it. Why is it such a bad thing that I am the way I am? Why do I have to pretend to be someone else in order for people to care?" She dropped her hands in her lap and shook her hair out of her face. "I don't know why people are just so quick to forget me."

"I didn't..." Andy responded.

Bender didn't either. He saw her before the very first detention, and he remembered her then. It was a year later and he still knew who she was and how she was. He pressed further. "Do you try to get people to notice you? 'Cause frankly hiding out on the bleachers and not talkin' to anyone doesn't really help."

She cocked an amused eyebrow at him. "How do you know?"

He shrugged. "I told you, I've seen you around before."

She nodded at him and pursed her lips together. "It's worse at home than it is here." She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "My sister, she's the most important thing in the world to my parents. They want me to be just like her, and because I'm not, they don't think I'm good enough."

Brian snorted quietly. "My parents don't either..."

She nodded. "I just wish for once they would acknowledge something - anything - that I do. When I don't feel good enough for them..." she took a deep breath. "I don't feel good enough for anyone else."

Andy nodded supportively. "But not everyone else is your parents you know."

She smiled through her tears. "I hope not."

Bender smirked. "Besides, it's kinda hard for you to be invisible anyways. Look at the shit you eat for lunch."

Claire smiled. "And it wouldn't hurt to make an effort to make friends either you know; it's not hard."

Allison looked around the circle and frowned. "If it's not hard then why are we all back here at square one again?"

... ... ...

Brian couldn't help but agree. Why did they go through all the trouble last year to spill their guts when nothing would come of it? Why were they sitting there and doing it to themselves again? Were they just destined to torture themselves with mere presence of each other?

Brian closed his eyes. "Why are we doing this again? This...this one day 'friendship' stuff? I think we should just...you know, spare the hurt and quit while we're, you know, ahead."

Claire looked at him sadly. "I don't want to do this again."

Brian clenched his fists. "Then why are we telling each other this shit? What the hell is going on?"

Claire shook her head. "That's not what I meant."

He looked at her completely stone faced. "Then what did you mean, Claire? That you don't want to sit here and tell us that your 'real' friends are more important? That you don't want to bother letting us get our hopes up?"

She seemed to hesitate - almost as if she was trying to keep her emotions in check. "I don't want to fuck this up again."

Brian raked a hand through his hair. "I just want you guys to know that I was really disappointed last year. I thought...you know, that we had made it past all of that bullshit." He folded his hands in his lap and leaned forward, emotions beginning to get the better of him. "I thought that we were honestly better than that. I didn't expect any of you to drop everything to form the musketeers. But I really did think that we'd learned something that day..."

Andy sighed. "We did Brian..."

Brian shot an angry look at him. "Then why did you let your friends shove me in a locker, huh?"

Andy shook his head angrily. "I can't say anything that would make up for that. But I can honestly say that I took last year for granted. I thought things would just...fall into place. I was too much of a pussy to put in the effort."

Brian nodded. "I just thought we were better than that."

"We were pretty stupid..." Claire muttered.

"...And stubborn," Allison added.

"And chicken," Andy finished.

They all looked at Bender; he just shrugged. "Hey, I got everyone high, didn't I?"

Brian snorted. "Yeah, just a couple of times."

Bender laughed. "I never shut you down, kid."

Brian shrugged. "But you never mentioned anything either. You never once talked about it. You always just acted as if nothing ever happened."

"Maybe there were times that we just wished it didn't. It just hurt too much," Claire added. Brian could handle that. It did hurt when he thought about it at times. And yes, there were times that he wished that he had never encountered the breakfast club. He figured then that it would have saved him a world of hurt. He would have never had to have felt that betrayal and that sense of backstabbing.

But then again, if the breakfast club had never happened - had nothing had happened that day - they wouldn't know what they know now. They never would have been able to say what they really feel, and for once be who they really are. They would have never experienced that brutal honesty that had taught them all that very important lesson. Even though he was bitter and resentful about what happened last year he wasn't sure if he would ever take it back. The outcome sucked, but that day had changed their lives.

Brian looked at the others. "So...what's going to happen then? Are we going to try and put some effort towards this? Or do you think that you're just better off with your friends?"

Claire swallowed and looked between all four of them. "It's not going to be easy..."

Bender smirked. "Life ain't easy, princess."

Andy looked at Allison. "I want to try."

Allison smiled and looked back at Brian. "I don't have any friends."

Brian laughed. "You know, it's funny but...I think I've heard that before."

She shrugged and looked back at the others. "Okay then, I have four of them."

Claire smiled; she looked from Bender - who was not criticizing anything, which was a good sign, to Andy - who nodded his head in agreement. She looked back at Brian and gave him a small nod. "I don't want any regrets this time."

Brian nodded seriously. "And I don't want any unnecessary drug habits."

"And I don't want to walk away from someone this time," Andy added.

Allison looked at Bender who just shrugged; neither of them having anything to add to that. Bender just rolled his eyes at the lack of replies. "Okay, okay...I don't wanna see any lame dance moves this time."

Claire snorted loudly, causing the others to break out in laughter. This time a lot more weight was lifted off of their chests. And this time, Brian felt he had a new sense of hope. Maybe things would work out better for them after all.

TBC