Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Canine Cupid
Help is on the way
16 reviewsJoe discusses last night's meeting with his... dawgs and gets help.
5Funny
H e l p i s o n t h e w a y
"... And then she disappeared into the darkness of the night," Joe finished his rendering of last night's events.
He had romanced it up slightly and had left out the part about him shuddering at the sight of an especially scary shadow that a tree had created on the grass when he had been looking for that little run-away Dax. After all, it is up to the narrator of any kind of story to hold back information whenever they find it suits the purpose. And holding back that kind of information suited the purpose of Joe not looking like an idiot.
The four guys where taking a break from recording, having lunch and talking about what had been going on in their lives as of late. This sounds a lot deeper than it really was as Patrick spent most of his time playing around with various melodies on his guitars, Andy had gotten into weight training and Pete either acted as his personal trainer, spent hours online to leave cryptic comments on about 20 websites (the result of mixing individual lines of several poems by contemporary writers together) or got on the nerves of Kayne West, Travis Gym Class Hero or Jay-Z.
"Dude," Patrick grinned. "You got the hots for her."
"Duh," Joe spat out. "I said she was hot. Of course, I got the hots for her... Hope I bump into her again soon."
"No wonder little Dax ran away with a lenient and timid owner like you. I can tell you that training a dog takes a lot of will power, experience and patience," Pete pointed out knowingly.
"Didn't you have Hemingway trained by some famous dog trainer?" Andy furrow his brow.
"Well, yes..." Pete said sheepishly.
Patrick chuckled. He was working on his manliness lately, therefore he had traded in his cute giggling for a manly chuckle. So he was chuckling in a manly way when he said, "The only dog you ever trained was that pixel creature on Nintendogs."
"Yes," Pete nodded vigorously. "And training that little monster took a lot of will power, experience and patience on my behalf. You see."
"One of my sister's friends trains dogs. I don't think she's a professional but Valerie said that she's really good at it. I could get her number if you want," Andy suggested.
Pete smiled at the mention of Andy's sister Valerie. They had quite a history together, i.e. one single night.
"That sounds like a good idea," Joe agreed. "I can't even get him to sleep in his own bed at night."
"So he sleeps...?" Patrick didn't dare to finish the question.
"...with me in the bed, yes," Joe admitted. Hey, at least somebody slept with him.
Pete laughed and Andy shook his head.
Somebody else chuckled manly.*
- - -
Later that day, right after he had gotten home, Joe grabbed the leash and took Dax for a walk. We all know he was hoping to see Brenda again but only I know that this was not going to happen.
On his way to the park he fetched his cell phone out of his leather jacket pocket and punched in the number that Andy had sent him earlier. After a couple of rings the man heard,
"Hi, you have reached Caroline Neverwinkle. Unfortunately I can't answer the phone right now but feel free to leave a message. I will call you back as soon as possible. Have a good day. beeeeeeep"
Joe hung up. He hadn't expected to be met with the voice mail. He hated it. It was more or less alright to leave a voice message on one of his friends' phones but on the ones of complete strangers - no, thank you very much. He usually felt a bit self-conscious about that, overestimating the "bad impression" he could leave of himself due to his slight lisp. As if people cared about that when he had such a stunning fro to offer. But that is silly Joe for you.
Soon he arrived at the park and decided to try it again, promising himself that he would leave a message on the voice box this time if she didn't pick up. After all this was about something important, getting Dax to listen to him so he didn't have to share his blanket any longer. Or his jacket.
The man listened to the whole Caroline Neverwinkle spiel again. Then there was the "beeeeeeeeeeep".
He sighed to himself and then said, rather fast at first but then losing speed, "Hi. Um, this is Joe. Joe Trohman. I got your number from Andy Hurley.... He said you train dogs... Um, I got one... And he doesn't listen to me. I need help... Well, please call me back."
Then he left his number.
"I'd be surprised if she calls back," Joe whispered self-consciously towards Dax. Well, ok. On the phone it was really hard to tell he had a stunning fro.
The man walked through the entire park, trying not to look like some guy desperately searching for an attractive young woman with a labrador by the name of Wesley. But take it from me, he did look just like that. Dax was prancing in front of his feet one moment and then jumping excitedly up and down behind him in the next. A little chubby gnome filled with pure cuteness. (As you will certainly remember, I have already drawn a parallel to another member of Joe's band. Repeating his name is not really necessary as this is Joe's story. And not Patrick's. Whoops.)
"Dax, could you please stop it for just one second? I am looking for someone and I can't watch you and the park at the same time."
Joe knew better than to let him off the leash again though. Who ever said you can't teach an old dog new tricks? Hopefully somebody who used this phrase in a more sensible kind of way.
Finally the man gave up and headed home with his puppy. It was rather the other way around as Dax was obviously hungry and couldn't reach the Trohman residence fast enough. He tugged at the leash and hurried in front of Joe who was calling, "Dax! Dax! DAX, stop it!"
Dax turned around a couple of times and barked excitedly. Probably telling his owner, "Dude! Dude! DUDE, giddy up!"
Joe really needed help in the dog department. He started having serious doubts about agreeing to take the beagle in the first place. But when his friend had told him that he would have to bring him to the local animal shelter Joe couldn't help but pity the little creature. Nobody deserved to be locked up like that. With the occasional exception of Pete after he had tried to motivate Andy to put even more effort into his work-out by singing "Body moving" by the Beastie Boys.
Awww, Joe with the golden heart. "Maybe I am an idiot after all," he said to himself as he fed Dax a few minutes later.
Around 9 p.m. he awoke on his couch. His phone was ringing (ringtone: "That Something Special" by the Bouncing Souls; exquisite taste if you ask me).
"Yeaaaaahhhh?" he asked sleepily.
"Is this Joe Trohman? This is Caroline," a low female voice replied.
In a flash Joe sat up and adjusted his voice, "Yes, this is Joe. Thanks for calling back."
"Sorry to call you this late. But you sounded..."
"Desperate?" he offered.
She smirked, "Kind of. So... What kind of dog is it? Age? Sex? Name?"
"Dax is a beagle. Male. He's about 8 weeks old."
"Oh, it's a puppy. This is going to be fun!" she almost squealed. Caroline hadn't worked with young dogs in a while. Lately she had trained some adult animals to do more advanced tricks. Working with Dax would be a good training for both of them. "But wait a minute, when did you get him? Puppies shouldn't be taken away from their mother until they're 8 to 10 weeks old."
"He's been with me for about one week. I... didn't know," Joe felt that this stranger would scold him for something that wasn't really his fault. He just took him. Out of niceness.
"Ah, well... It's not like we could turn back time, is it?" Caroline tried to heighten the mood. "So... What can I do for you and Dax then?"
Joe scratched his head. He wondered where Dax was at. When the man had fallen asleep he had been lying on his tummy and now he was gone. The man got up from the couch and started to look around for the beagle.
"Well, the basics, I guess. Stuff like 'sit', 'lay'... ya know? I think you will have to tell me what he needs. I am really clueless to be honest."
The woman sighed. The guy sounded nice and all but she really didn't like it when people who hardly knew anything about dogs just got one like it was some piece of furniture. In her 24 years of age she had met all different kinds of dog owners. The least she expected of somebody who thought about getting a dog was that they informed themselves. Before getting the animal. "Oh well, I will give him a chance," she thought to herself. "If only for Dax."
Since Joe didn't receive an immediate reply he grew insecure. This Caroline was supposed to be Dax's teacher, not his. "Um," he spoke up. "I just took him because he would have ended up at the shelter if I hadn't."
"Great, so this dude didn't even want the dog," the woman tought.
Joe sighed. Was she going to make him beg? "Please, I really need help. I really want to click with the little guy. Come on, help me. Please," he begged.
"Alright, alright. I'll do it," Caroline decided. Probably this Joe was ok. Maybe all he needed was a little guidance.
"Can you start right away?" he asked.
"Sure, I guess."
"Tomorrow? Are you free in the evening?"
Caroline agreed and after they had settled the time and Joe had given her his address they said good bye. That was about the same time Joe found Dax. On his bed. Sleeping. Looking as if he owned the bed. Which was pretty much "tru dawg".
The man couldn't help but smile at the adorable picture. Yes, guys can use that adjective, too. For something else than cars or guitars.
"Ok, Dax. But this is the last time," he pointed at the beagle who still had his eyes closed, his chest rising and falling with his breathing. "Tomorrow things will change. I got you a trainer."
________________
* Greta? (Damn, those footnotes follow me around everywhere I go. We will call them pawnotes on here.)
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Thanks for everyone's positive feedback! :)
Please correct me if I make grave mistakes concerning dogs and the training of them in the course of the story. I have little experience with that in real life. Nintendogs. Do I need to say more? Better not...
"... And then she disappeared into the darkness of the night," Joe finished his rendering of last night's events.
He had romanced it up slightly and had left out the part about him shuddering at the sight of an especially scary shadow that a tree had created on the grass when he had been looking for that little run-away Dax. After all, it is up to the narrator of any kind of story to hold back information whenever they find it suits the purpose. And holding back that kind of information suited the purpose of Joe not looking like an idiot.
The four guys where taking a break from recording, having lunch and talking about what had been going on in their lives as of late. This sounds a lot deeper than it really was as Patrick spent most of his time playing around with various melodies on his guitars, Andy had gotten into weight training and Pete either acted as his personal trainer, spent hours online to leave cryptic comments on about 20 websites (the result of mixing individual lines of several poems by contemporary writers together) or got on the nerves of Kayne West, Travis Gym Class Hero or Jay-Z.
"Dude," Patrick grinned. "You got the hots for her."
"Duh," Joe spat out. "I said she was hot. Of course, I got the hots for her... Hope I bump into her again soon."
"No wonder little Dax ran away with a lenient and timid owner like you. I can tell you that training a dog takes a lot of will power, experience and patience," Pete pointed out knowingly.
"Didn't you have Hemingway trained by some famous dog trainer?" Andy furrow his brow.
"Well, yes..." Pete said sheepishly.
Patrick chuckled. He was working on his manliness lately, therefore he had traded in his cute giggling for a manly chuckle. So he was chuckling in a manly way when he said, "The only dog you ever trained was that pixel creature on Nintendogs."
"Yes," Pete nodded vigorously. "And training that little monster took a lot of will power, experience and patience on my behalf. You see."
"One of my sister's friends trains dogs. I don't think she's a professional but Valerie said that she's really good at it. I could get her number if you want," Andy suggested.
Pete smiled at the mention of Andy's sister Valerie. They had quite a history together, i.e. one single night.
"That sounds like a good idea," Joe agreed. "I can't even get him to sleep in his own bed at night."
"So he sleeps...?" Patrick didn't dare to finish the question.
"...with me in the bed, yes," Joe admitted. Hey, at least somebody slept with him.
Pete laughed and Andy shook his head.
Somebody else chuckled manly.*
- - -
Later that day, right after he had gotten home, Joe grabbed the leash and took Dax for a walk. We all know he was hoping to see Brenda again but only I know that this was not going to happen.
On his way to the park he fetched his cell phone out of his leather jacket pocket and punched in the number that Andy had sent him earlier. After a couple of rings the man heard,
"Hi, you have reached Caroline Neverwinkle. Unfortunately I can't answer the phone right now but feel free to leave a message. I will call you back as soon as possible. Have a good day. beeeeeeep"
Joe hung up. He hadn't expected to be met with the voice mail. He hated it. It was more or less alright to leave a voice message on one of his friends' phones but on the ones of complete strangers - no, thank you very much. He usually felt a bit self-conscious about that, overestimating the "bad impression" he could leave of himself due to his slight lisp. As if people cared about that when he had such a stunning fro to offer. But that is silly Joe for you.
Soon he arrived at the park and decided to try it again, promising himself that he would leave a message on the voice box this time if she didn't pick up. After all this was about something important, getting Dax to listen to him so he didn't have to share his blanket any longer. Or his jacket.
The man listened to the whole Caroline Neverwinkle spiel again. Then there was the "beeeeeeeeeeep".
He sighed to himself and then said, rather fast at first but then losing speed, "Hi. Um, this is Joe. Joe Trohman. I got your number from Andy Hurley.... He said you train dogs... Um, I got one... And he doesn't listen to me. I need help... Well, please call me back."
Then he left his number.
"I'd be surprised if she calls back," Joe whispered self-consciously towards Dax. Well, ok. On the phone it was really hard to tell he had a stunning fro.
The man walked through the entire park, trying not to look like some guy desperately searching for an attractive young woman with a labrador by the name of Wesley. But take it from me, he did look just like that. Dax was prancing in front of his feet one moment and then jumping excitedly up and down behind him in the next. A little chubby gnome filled with pure cuteness. (As you will certainly remember, I have already drawn a parallel to another member of Joe's band. Repeating his name is not really necessary as this is Joe's story. And not Patrick's. Whoops.)
"Dax, could you please stop it for just one second? I am looking for someone and I can't watch you and the park at the same time."
Joe knew better than to let him off the leash again though. Who ever said you can't teach an old dog new tricks? Hopefully somebody who used this phrase in a more sensible kind of way.
Finally the man gave up and headed home with his puppy. It was rather the other way around as Dax was obviously hungry and couldn't reach the Trohman residence fast enough. He tugged at the leash and hurried in front of Joe who was calling, "Dax! Dax! DAX, stop it!"
Dax turned around a couple of times and barked excitedly. Probably telling his owner, "Dude! Dude! DUDE, giddy up!"
Joe really needed help in the dog department. He started having serious doubts about agreeing to take the beagle in the first place. But when his friend had told him that he would have to bring him to the local animal shelter Joe couldn't help but pity the little creature. Nobody deserved to be locked up like that. With the occasional exception of Pete after he had tried to motivate Andy to put even more effort into his work-out by singing "Body moving" by the Beastie Boys.
Awww, Joe with the golden heart. "Maybe I am an idiot after all," he said to himself as he fed Dax a few minutes later.
Around 9 p.m. he awoke on his couch. His phone was ringing (ringtone: "That Something Special" by the Bouncing Souls; exquisite taste if you ask me).
"Yeaaaaahhhh?" he asked sleepily.
"Is this Joe Trohman? This is Caroline," a low female voice replied.
In a flash Joe sat up and adjusted his voice, "Yes, this is Joe. Thanks for calling back."
"Sorry to call you this late. But you sounded..."
"Desperate?" he offered.
She smirked, "Kind of. So... What kind of dog is it? Age? Sex? Name?"
"Dax is a beagle. Male. He's about 8 weeks old."
"Oh, it's a puppy. This is going to be fun!" she almost squealed. Caroline hadn't worked with young dogs in a while. Lately she had trained some adult animals to do more advanced tricks. Working with Dax would be a good training for both of them. "But wait a minute, when did you get him? Puppies shouldn't be taken away from their mother until they're 8 to 10 weeks old."
"He's been with me for about one week. I... didn't know," Joe felt that this stranger would scold him for something that wasn't really his fault. He just took him. Out of niceness.
"Ah, well... It's not like we could turn back time, is it?" Caroline tried to heighten the mood. "So... What can I do for you and Dax then?"
Joe scratched his head. He wondered where Dax was at. When the man had fallen asleep he had been lying on his tummy and now he was gone. The man got up from the couch and started to look around for the beagle.
"Well, the basics, I guess. Stuff like 'sit', 'lay'... ya know? I think you will have to tell me what he needs. I am really clueless to be honest."
The woman sighed. The guy sounded nice and all but she really didn't like it when people who hardly knew anything about dogs just got one like it was some piece of furniture. In her 24 years of age she had met all different kinds of dog owners. The least she expected of somebody who thought about getting a dog was that they informed themselves. Before getting the animal. "Oh well, I will give him a chance," she thought to herself. "If only for Dax."
Since Joe didn't receive an immediate reply he grew insecure. This Caroline was supposed to be Dax's teacher, not his. "Um," he spoke up. "I just took him because he would have ended up at the shelter if I hadn't."
"Great, so this dude didn't even want the dog," the woman tought.
Joe sighed. Was she going to make him beg? "Please, I really need help. I really want to click with the little guy. Come on, help me. Please," he begged.
"Alright, alright. I'll do it," Caroline decided. Probably this Joe was ok. Maybe all he needed was a little guidance.
"Can you start right away?" he asked.
"Sure, I guess."
"Tomorrow? Are you free in the evening?"
Caroline agreed and after they had settled the time and Joe had given her his address they said good bye. That was about the same time Joe found Dax. On his bed. Sleeping. Looking as if he owned the bed. Which was pretty much "tru dawg".
The man couldn't help but smile at the adorable picture. Yes, guys can use that adjective, too. For something else than cars or guitars.
"Ok, Dax. But this is the last time," he pointed at the beagle who still had his eyes closed, his chest rising and falling with his breathing. "Tomorrow things will change. I got you a trainer."
________________
* Greta? (Damn, those footnotes follow me around everywhere I go. We will call them pawnotes on here.)
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Thanks for everyone's positive feedback! :)
Please correct me if I make grave mistakes concerning dogs and the training of them in the course of the story. I have little experience with that in real life. Nintendogs. Do I need to say more? Better not...
Sign up to rate and review this story