FicWad

ch3 Disclaimer- I write sins, not tragedies. Actually, I DO write tragedies. I just don't write the truth. giggles**

A/N- Sorry I haven't updated lately. Coincidentally, I have a life. And, you know what? I still don't know what I'm going to do with this story. Can you all say, "WRITER'S BLOCK"??????? Huh? Huh? HUH? Yeah, I'm being annoying now. Well, here's chapter four? I think? Enjoy...

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When I finally opened my eyes, I realized that I was still on the floor. Man, I love my friends. Just like they love me enough to pick me up off the ground.

"Hey, are you okay, man?"

Bob. Good ole Bobby. My rock.

"Oh, hey, Bob. Thanks for getting me off the cold floor," I said sarcastically, pushing myself into a sitting position.

"You've been out for like three seconds. You passed out, slid to the floor, and woke up like five seconds later. I didn't have the chance," he said, grabbing my shoulders and inspecting my face.

I pulled away and struggled to my feet. My head was still throbbing.

"Ugh," I grunted, running a hand through my hair.

"Are you okay?"

The meek voice to my left caused me to start slightly. I turned and met Gerard's frightened gaze.

"I'm fine," I assured, even though I was extremely nauseous. And my head was killing me. And my body ached from when I hit the floor.

He nodded slightly, and bit his lip. His gaze dropped to his hands, which he was wringing together. Poor Gee.

I lifted his chin upward, and smiled at him gently.

"You're not the reason I passed out, baby. I just need to eat. I haven't in awhile."

He blinked.

"Why haven't you been eating?"

His quiet voice was breaking my heart. He wasn't even saying anything depressing or sad. He was just asking an innocent question. I'm such a loser.

"I was worried about you. I couldn't leave your side. Besides, hospital food sucks," I grinned.

"You lied. I am the reason you got hurt," he said, his eyes wide.

I shook my head, looking at Bob for support. Bob just shrugged and walked out of the room.

I sighed and turned back to Gerard.

"No, no, no. Gerard...I'm serious. I didn't pass out because of you."

He shook his head, and turned away from me.

"I don't want him to get me," Gerard whispered so softly I almost didn't hear him.

I asked, "Who, Gerard? Who?"

"Him!" he exclaimed, turning back to me. He was shaking with tears streaming down his face. "You don't understand! You don't know what happened to me! I remember waking up, bleeding and hurt, with him hovering over me! I didn't know...know what he wanted from me. I...I offered him money, and...oh God, Frank. Why did this happen to me?"

My eyes welled up as I said, "I don't know, baby. I don't know."

"Why did he hurt me?" he asked again.

"I don't know," I repeated.

"Why won't you answer me?" he cried. "Every single question I ask you, you can't answer! Why not, Frankie? Why can't you answer me?"

"I don't have the answers!" I screamed, standing up and hovering over him. He shrunk back into his pillow, cowering. Hiding out in the open. Hiding from /me/.

"Don't hurt me," he whimpered, covering his face with his hands. I gasped, backing away from him. I closed my eyes tightly, before turning and fleeing the room.

I ran and ran, with no idea where I was going. Clichéd, yes, but I had to get out of there. Gerard's fear was killing me. I knew that he would be scared of pretty much everything that moved, and that we'd have to earn back his trust even though we'd done nothing to lose it. I knew that. It just...hurt knowing that your lover is scared of you.

I passed Ray, Bob, and Mikey in the hallway, and I could hear them calling after me, but I wouldn't...couldn't...stop.

Finally, I burst out the hospital doors, and made to the outside. It was mid-day, and there were people outside. Which, of course, meant that there were people staring, whispering, pointing, and perhaps taking pictures.

There was a bright light in my face, like lightning. Blinking, I stumbled backwards. Yup, people were taking pictures. That was definitely a flash.

That's when I noticed the reporters.

I faintly remember a doctor telling me that the hospital was not allowing cameras and reporters into the hospital, but that they couldn't ban them from the property. They told us to be careful when we went outside, that there were swarms of blood-sucking paparazzi outside, waiting to suck the life out of us in order to get the story on Gerard. Not in those words exactly, though.

Why can't I ever listen to sensible advice?

Before I knew it, I was surrounded by cameras, reporters, and too much noise for my head at this point in my life.

"Why are you crying?" "Is it true that you and Gerard Way are-?" "Why did it take the police so long-?" "What is Gerard Way's condition?" "How is Michael Way taking it?" "Why don't the police have Criss Manson in custody?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, and shook my head, willing them all away. It didn't work. Suddenly, the crowd parted.

A loud, familiar voice yelled, "Get the hell away from him! That's right, clear out! Clear OUT!!!"

I turned, still sniffling from earlier, to face my savior.

Bob. Bob, Bob, Bob. Have I told you that I love that man? Because I do.

"Bob!" I yelled, throwing my small arms around his broad shoulders. He laughed, pushing me away from him.

"Come on. I'm taking you home. You need to eat, and you really need a shower. You smell."

I smiled and laughed, letting Bob push me towards his car. He drove me back to his place, because I haven't went into the house Gerard and I share since he was kidnapped. Well, I did once.

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FLASHBACK

It was three days after Gerard was kidnapped. We all had been crying a lot, and I had slept over Ray and Bob's place. You know, because my house was a crime scene. We all had been questioned, which was terrible, and then we had just gone to Ray and Bob's.

Anyway, I got a call from the police department telling me that the crime scene people had all they needed, and that I could go back home.

I blatantly refused. I just couldn't walk into that house after knowing what had happened in there. I mean, I knew that Gerard wasn't dead, and that he hadn't been murdered in the house, but I just couldn't go into the house. I have no rational reason behind it, besides that I just couldn't.

It took one hell of a lot of convincing by Bob and Ray just to get me to go into the house to gather my stuff. I remember them literally picking me up and forcing me into Ray's car.

Finally, with a lot of screaming and crying on my part, we got to the house.

Ray and Bob dragged me inside, and forced me to gather up some clothes and other things I needed. (Thankfully, the two of them loved me enough to let me stay with them until I got over this irrational fear.)

I remember that I'd stop crying for a bit and then turn around, spot something that I knew was Gerard's, and burst back into tears.

It took us two hours to get out of the house. I would just start crying and collapse to the floor in tears. That's why it took so long.

I haven't been in the house since.

END FLASHBACK
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I showered quickly, and got dressed into some fresh clothes. My headache immediately diminished slightly. I actually felt clean.

As I walked into the kitchen, I breathed in deeply. It smelled so good.

What most people don't know about Bob is that he's a great cook.

I found him at the stove, stirring some giant pot of something.

"Hey Bob," I said lightly.

He turned around and looked at me with narrowed eyes for awhile. Finally, a satisfied grin grew on his lips.

"Finally, you showered. You look better not covered in grime."


"Oh, thanks," I said sarcastically, pulling out a chair and sitting down at the table.

Bob smiled and shoved a bowl of something in front of me.

"Eat," he commanded, hands firmly on his hips. Which was quite funny.

Hey, you'd laugh too if you saw strong, never-take-anyone's-crap Bob mothering someone.

I laughed, and nodded.

That soup or stew or whatever the hell it was tasted really good. Actually, it might've tasted like crap and I wouldn't have noticed. Hell, it could've actually been crap and I wouldn't have noticed. It was just so nice to have something in my normally empty stomach. I had thirds, I was that hungry.

Bob had pulled out a seat across from me, and rested his elbows on the table while staring at me intensely.

"You need something?" I asked between bites.

He nodded.

"How are you, Frank?"

I swallowed hard and straightened slightly.

"I'm...okay, I guess."

"Liar," he said simply, his eyebrow high on his forehead. "Why'd you run out of the hospital?"

I sighed deeply, and decided that I could talk to Bob.

"Gerard scares me."

Bob blinked, clearly not expecting that.

"Huh?"

I sighed again.

"He keeps looking towards me for answers to question I can't reply to. And if I try to answer, it's either wrong or...or wrong. And no matter what I do, I can't erase his pain. I can't do the things that he wants me to. I still love him, maybe more than before, but...I don't know what to do."

I was proud of myself. I actually wasn't crying.

Bob gave me a pitying look, and I scowled.

Then, my cell phone rang. I jumped, not expecting the sudden noise.

Then, I answered, "Hello?"

There was a sniffle on the other end, and then a sigh.

"Hello?" I asked again, getting worried.

"Hey, Frank. It's me, Ray. Gerard...Gerard, he-."

"What?" I interupted, fear filling my chest. "What happened to Gerard?"

"He's gone," Ray sobbed into the phone.

"He...died?" I gasped, feeling faint suddenly.

"No...no, no, no. His bed is empty. We don't...We can't find him!"

"Oh, God," I mumbled, with the insane feeling that this was my fault.

"Frank...the good news is that he got out on his own. Bad the news is that...that he left behind a note. I don't know where he got the paper or the pen. But, the note-."

"What did the note say?" I demanded, suddenly terrified.

"I'm going to read it to you. Ready?"

I nodded, and then realized that Ray couldn't see me.

Feeling foolish, I said, "Yeah. Read it to me."

"Okay. Here it is:
'Dear World, I'd like to say that the horrors my eyes have seen are too horrible for any man to take on his own. I'd like to say that I have family and friends to help me through this, but that'd be a lie. I am truly alone. I stand alone now, as I will on my Judgment Day, which, unfortunately, will be today.
I can only hope that those that have stood behind me in the past will understand my decision, and not try to change it. I would say that I love you, but that'd be painfully clichéd. So, I will say, 'Farewell.' I can only hope that we won't be together again in death. I wouldn't want you in Hell. You know who you are.'"

I burst into unbelieving tears, not able to comprehend Gerard's reasoning behind this. He was going to die outside! How did he escape?

"Ray, we have to find him. You guys have to find Gerard! He'll die out there!" I exclaimed.

"I know," Ray agreed. "I know. Frank, he was talking to you, wasn't he?"

"Yes," I sobbed. "He was. I can't live without him! You have got to find him! He can't have gotten far, right?"

Ray agreed, and then said, "I have to go. The doctor wants to tell me something 'urgent'. Come down to the hospital, okay? We'll fill you in as to how he got out when you and Bob get here."

"Okay, bye. Thanks Ray," I said, hanging up.

"What happened?" Bob asked, concerned.

"Gerard escaped. We have to go to the hospital," I replied, pulling on my jacket and pulling the door open.

Thankfully, Bob didn't ask any questions. He just followed me out to the car, and we drove to the hospital.

We didn't realize that the mental agony we had gone through before would be nothing compared to what was coming.

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A/N- sobs I wasn't even expecting that one! WAH!!! How's that for a cliff-hanger, though? REVIEW!!!