Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > You Dont Know What You're Love Is Anymore
When Your Backless Black Dress Sinks To The Skin
3 reviewsMeizahn came from a wealthy family. All of the style and elegance in the world was pretty much thrown to her, although she refused to take it, preferring to act the way she did. But soon she find...
1Original
[[UPDATE]] yeahhh here ya go; comments are appreciated mmk =]
After getting made up by the stylist who I later found out was named Ricardo, I walked out of the kitchen. Making my way up to my room, still in a pair of jeans and a tank over my swimsuit top and bottoms, my feet slid into a pair of flip flops, I looked out the window and noticed my so-called family beginning to arrive.
I hurried up to my room, passing my mothers room where she passed hesitantly. I stopped, midway to my room and began to walk back. As I entered her room I noticed her hands, which were shaking uncontrollably. I approached her and took her hands into mine, looking up at her. "Mom, this is going to be okay..." I said.
She opened up her eyes, which we now filled with tears, "Meizahn, please.... for me.... don't screw this one up...not this time..." That's what I would call a fucking stab to the heart, my own mother, in tears over my behavior. I wanted to hit something. I was definitely not as terrible as she was making things out to be, or at least I didn't think I was. "For once I just want my family to be proud of me. I want to just put all of our shit behind us, only for a few hours, and pretend that we actually have some sort of loving relationship."
I opened my mouth to speak, but was cut off by her finger hushing me, "Don't say anything right now, just promise me..." I gulped down a large wad of saliva that had been building up in the back of my through for the past minute and nodded.
She closed her eyes and nodded, as if she were going against her better judgment by trusting me. She stood up and walked towards her vanity, fixing the small amount of makeup that had been smeared by her tears. The doorbell suddenly rang; she turned and looked over at me, "Your clothes are in your room, go get ready quickly", she said as she hurried down to the entryway to greet them.
I walked into my room and saw a gorgeous black mini dress lying out across my bed. I walked up to it quickly and held it up against myself in the mirror, admiring it, then quickly slid it on. It fit as if it were made for me. I guess my mom does sort of know what I like.
After making sure that I looked okay, I slid on my heels and made my way down the stairs, only to see my whole stuck up family in my back yard sipping on their tea listening to a group of violins playing. It was enough to make me want to vomit.
But before I got a chance to get a clean escape, my mother caught sight of me, pulled out a huge fake smile, and approached me. "HAPPY EIGHTEENTH BITHDAY DARLING!" she exclaimed happily as she wrapped her arms around me. I began to think about what we talked about earlier and forced a smile.
"Why thank you mother dearest", I smiled less then convincingly as I received dirty looks from all the aunts and cousins. I sat down beside them.
My Aunt Judy smile up at me. "Dear, you look lovely today", I nodded up at her as I took a long sip of the lemon aid that was set in front of me. "So good to see you finally getting your womanly curves. I do remember when everyone thought you were a little boy." Everyone at the table began to laugh as if it were the funniest thing they had ever herd. I myself was completely clueless as to why everyone was so amused by such a blank joke.
My mother glare suddenly reached mine, looking as if she were pleading me not to make some huge scene. How could I not? "I myself do remember that as well. I also remember a time when you actually still looked like a woman." She cocked an eyebrow, waiting for me to go on. "Now just look at you, with the disgusting bush growing on that upper lip of your, its a shame that you don't get that waxed off."
She let out a groan. "I'm appalled with your behavior!" she said almost surprised that I would say something back. "I go through all this trouble, shopping for a gown for your party, driving over here, bringing a gift. And this is how you repay me!" she took both of her girls by the arms as she directed her attention over to my mother. "I'm sorry Kathryn, but this... this oaf of yours.... well she's just terrible. Not something I want my daughters around. I think it's time that we be going now."
My mother shot a nasty glance my way as she watched Judy drag the cousins across the lawn to the car. "I'm so sorry ladies", she smiled at all of the remaining aunts and cousins that sat at our table, "Would you excuse us for just one moment?" she took my arm, leading me through the dozens of tables, filled to the max with family and friends, and brought me into the kitchen.
She brought her hand back and forcefully slapped it against the side of my face. "What the fuck was that!" she said. "I go through all this trouble to throw you a party and maybe even give you a chance to prove all of your relatives wrong, and this is how you..."
"Don't fucking touch me", I said very sternly as I moved forward, leaving myself only inches from her face. "I swear to God...if you do I'll..."
"Quit with that bad-ass attitude of yours for God's sake", she said, as if challenging me. "I know you; you're going to be mad, go off and screw your little boyfriend, maybe get drunk." She said. My eyes probably widened, shocked from how much she actually knew about my life. "But that's how it always happens. You get pissed at me, go take advantage of what you do have and then end up getting your heart broken." She took one last pause as she looked at me in disgust. "You're a worthless piece of shit, nothing more then a mistake. That's the only thing you're ever going to be."
I had no idea what came over me, my mother's opinions never really did mean anything to me, but a sudden rush of adrenalin shot through my body at that very minutes, as I swung back and hit my mother so hard she was pushed back against the wall. "I'm fucking leaving. For good..."
She took her hand and wiped the blood away from her lip. "Good... now I don't have to look at such a disgrace every day" she said. "You're the one who pushed your father into leaving! He was sick of you fucking up all the time!"
I walked up bring my face close to hers yet again. "Have fun explaining how you're such a terrible mother to your family", I smiled. I turned my heels and started making my way up to my room to get my things.
After getting made up by the stylist who I later found out was named Ricardo, I walked out of the kitchen. Making my way up to my room, still in a pair of jeans and a tank over my swimsuit top and bottoms, my feet slid into a pair of flip flops, I looked out the window and noticed my so-called family beginning to arrive.
I hurried up to my room, passing my mothers room where she passed hesitantly. I stopped, midway to my room and began to walk back. As I entered her room I noticed her hands, which were shaking uncontrollably. I approached her and took her hands into mine, looking up at her. "Mom, this is going to be okay..." I said.
She opened up her eyes, which we now filled with tears, "Meizahn, please.... for me.... don't screw this one up...not this time..." That's what I would call a fucking stab to the heart, my own mother, in tears over my behavior. I wanted to hit something. I was definitely not as terrible as she was making things out to be, or at least I didn't think I was. "For once I just want my family to be proud of me. I want to just put all of our shit behind us, only for a few hours, and pretend that we actually have some sort of loving relationship."
I opened my mouth to speak, but was cut off by her finger hushing me, "Don't say anything right now, just promise me..." I gulped down a large wad of saliva that had been building up in the back of my through for the past minute and nodded.
She closed her eyes and nodded, as if she were going against her better judgment by trusting me. She stood up and walked towards her vanity, fixing the small amount of makeup that had been smeared by her tears. The doorbell suddenly rang; she turned and looked over at me, "Your clothes are in your room, go get ready quickly", she said as she hurried down to the entryway to greet them.
I walked into my room and saw a gorgeous black mini dress lying out across my bed. I walked up to it quickly and held it up against myself in the mirror, admiring it, then quickly slid it on. It fit as if it were made for me. I guess my mom does sort of know what I like.
After making sure that I looked okay, I slid on my heels and made my way down the stairs, only to see my whole stuck up family in my back yard sipping on their tea listening to a group of violins playing. It was enough to make me want to vomit.
But before I got a chance to get a clean escape, my mother caught sight of me, pulled out a huge fake smile, and approached me. "HAPPY EIGHTEENTH BITHDAY DARLING!" she exclaimed happily as she wrapped her arms around me. I began to think about what we talked about earlier and forced a smile.
"Why thank you mother dearest", I smiled less then convincingly as I received dirty looks from all the aunts and cousins. I sat down beside them.
My Aunt Judy smile up at me. "Dear, you look lovely today", I nodded up at her as I took a long sip of the lemon aid that was set in front of me. "So good to see you finally getting your womanly curves. I do remember when everyone thought you were a little boy." Everyone at the table began to laugh as if it were the funniest thing they had ever herd. I myself was completely clueless as to why everyone was so amused by such a blank joke.
My mother glare suddenly reached mine, looking as if she were pleading me not to make some huge scene. How could I not? "I myself do remember that as well. I also remember a time when you actually still looked like a woman." She cocked an eyebrow, waiting for me to go on. "Now just look at you, with the disgusting bush growing on that upper lip of your, its a shame that you don't get that waxed off."
She let out a groan. "I'm appalled with your behavior!" she said almost surprised that I would say something back. "I go through all this trouble, shopping for a gown for your party, driving over here, bringing a gift. And this is how you repay me!" she took both of her girls by the arms as she directed her attention over to my mother. "I'm sorry Kathryn, but this... this oaf of yours.... well she's just terrible. Not something I want my daughters around. I think it's time that we be going now."
My mother shot a nasty glance my way as she watched Judy drag the cousins across the lawn to the car. "I'm so sorry ladies", she smiled at all of the remaining aunts and cousins that sat at our table, "Would you excuse us for just one moment?" she took my arm, leading me through the dozens of tables, filled to the max with family and friends, and brought me into the kitchen.
She brought her hand back and forcefully slapped it against the side of my face. "What the fuck was that!" she said. "I go through all this trouble to throw you a party and maybe even give you a chance to prove all of your relatives wrong, and this is how you..."
"Don't fucking touch me", I said very sternly as I moved forward, leaving myself only inches from her face. "I swear to God...if you do I'll..."
"Quit with that bad-ass attitude of yours for God's sake", she said, as if challenging me. "I know you; you're going to be mad, go off and screw your little boyfriend, maybe get drunk." She said. My eyes probably widened, shocked from how much she actually knew about my life. "But that's how it always happens. You get pissed at me, go take advantage of what you do have and then end up getting your heart broken." She took one last pause as she looked at me in disgust. "You're a worthless piece of shit, nothing more then a mistake. That's the only thing you're ever going to be."
I had no idea what came over me, my mother's opinions never really did mean anything to me, but a sudden rush of adrenalin shot through my body at that very minutes, as I swung back and hit my mother so hard she was pushed back against the wall. "I'm fucking leaving. For good..."
She took her hand and wiped the blood away from her lip. "Good... now I don't have to look at such a disgrace every day" she said. "You're the one who pushed your father into leaving! He was sick of you fucking up all the time!"
I walked up bring my face close to hers yet again. "Have fun explaining how you're such a terrible mother to your family", I smiled. I turned my heels and started making my way up to my room to get my things.
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