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Botta strode through the corridors, folders in hand. Spotting Hiroshi, he stopped the junior officer. "Have you seen Lord Yuan?" he asked, "I have some reports for him."

"They'll have to wait," Hiroshi told him, "He's in his office, with the door locked, and won't let anyone in."

"He...what?" This was rather unusual behavior for the stoic and responsible leader.

"Yeah, they say he does that, every once in a while, just locks himself in his office for a few days and doesn't talk to anyone." Hiroshi shrugged, "Give him a few days, and he'll be out and about pretending that nothing happened. There's all kinds of rumors about why he does it, but no one knows for sure."

"I see," Botta replied, "Thanks for telling me." With that, he strode off toward Yuan's office.

When he reached it, he knocked firmly on the door. "Lord Yuan?" he called, "Yuan, I know you're in there."

After a long moment, a muffled voice came through the door. "Hasn't anyone told you? I'm not seeing anyone right now."

"I'm not going away," Botta said firmly.

"You will. Everyone does."

Botta sighed in mild aggravation. When Yuan was being stubborn, the only thing to do was to be stubborn right back at him, preferably in a way that couldn't be ignored. He began to hum a repetitive children's song, deliberately off-key.

This lasted for longer than Botta would have thought Yuan would endure; but just when he was starting to think about changing tactics or giving up, he heard the distinct sound of the door unlocking.

"Fine," Yuan said, opening the door, "Come in. Just stop that humming."

Botta entered quickly before Yuan could change his mind, but he couldn't help sizing up Yuan's appearance as he moved into the office. Yuan was looking startlingly haggard and exhausted; suddenly it was easy to believe in the millennia he'd lived through.

"Yuan, what's wrong?" he asked quietly, "You look like you haven't slept in weeks." When Yuan raised an eyebrow at this, he corrected himself, "Or rather, you look like someone else would if they hadn't slept in weeks."

"It's nothing," Yuan replied, "I just...need a bit of a break sometimes, is all."

"When was the last time you had a vacation?" Botta asked, "Leader or not, you should be able to go on leave once in a while. Or at least tell the rest of us what you're doing, rather than leaving us to wonder."

Yuan shook his head. "I wish it were that simple," he muttered.

Now it was Botta's turn to raise an eyebrow. "And why wouldn't it be?" he queried, rather confused.

Yuan sighed, half-collapsing into a chair. "Because people take vacations," he replied, "But I can't afford to be a person. You understand? They need me to be more than that." He fixed Botta with an intense gaze. "You remember before you were promoted...what would you have thought then if you had heard that I was taking a vacation?"

Botta hesitated, then nodded his understanding. "The concept would have been...almost unthinkable," he admitted slowly.

"Exactly. I'm more of a legend, a symbol, than a person, to them," Yuan replied with a decisive nod, "And if they saw me as anything else, their faith in the Renegades would waver."

Botta's expression grew troubled, mostly because he knew Yuan was right. "But why?" he murmured, "Why wouldn't they be able to have as much faith in a person as in a symbol?"

"Because of the position I'm trying to fill," Yuan responded wearily, "Everyone, all their lives, has been raised on legends of the Hero Mithos, and stories of the Goddess Martel. Compared to figures like that, a fallible leader won't stand a chance." He shook his head, "What it amounts to is, most people never outgrow their need for some sort of parental figure to guide them, to take care of the things they can't handle on their own, to admire as the ultimate unattainable ideal. That's why the Hero and the Goddess have such great appeal...and that's why I have to be more than a person in order to fight those concepts."

As Botta considered this, he became aware that Yuan was watching him carefully for his reaction. He regarded the figure in the chair, suddenly aware as he had never quite been before that Yuan was somewhat shorter than average, and rather slender as well. Sitting there looking so drained and wary made him seem terribly frail, and suddenly Botta was moving to enclose him in a protective embrace.

Yuan stiffened a bit in surprise, and looked up at Botta, who blushed faintly as he realized what he'd done, but wouldn't let go. "But now you've told me," he murmured, "and in case you're wondering, I don't think any less of you. Quite the contrary, in fact." Yuan relaxed at these words, even as Botta shook his head in amazement, "I can't imagine the strength it must take, to maintain that image."

"You must have some idea... The soldiers look up to you in almost the same way, I've noticed. They see you as their commander, and link to their leader. Almost like the Chosen... in a way," Yuan mused. "Perhaps that's why I chose you as my second. Because I knew that you could and would be the link between the soldiers and I."

Botta considered this. "I suppose, in a way, you're right..." he mused, "I can't be...quite as close to the others as I once was, because of the things I know now." He shook his head, "Still, it's not the same as trying to pretend I'm more than a person..."

Yuan shrugged, leaning into Botta's arms a little bit. "There's no other way for us to succeed," he murmured.

"Then let me help," Botta replied in the same tone, holding him a bit closer, "Instead of disappearing, let me protect you, when you need it." There was just a hint of nervousness in his tone, and in his amber gaze as he waited for Yuan's reply.

Yuan stared up at him for a moment, still looking vulnerable and fragile; then, he smiled warmly. Without another word, he leaned up and pressed his lips to Botta's. Botta kissed him back firmly, one hand moving absently to stroke Yuan's hair. Finally, both pulled away for air. Yuan gazed at him warmly for another moment, then smirked. "Somehow," he said, "I think you're going to end up trying to protect me even when I don't need it." He sighed a bit and rested his head on Botta's shoulder, "So just don't get all annoying about it, okay?"

Botta smiled at him. "I promise," he murmured contentedly.