Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Canine Cupid

Two she-dogs and a bone_

by FrostedGlass 12 reviews

Joe spends more time with Caroline and Brenda, respectively. Despite their different personalities they both like our dorky squishy-haired guitarist.

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: G - Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance - Published: 2007-01-24 - Updated: 2007-01-24 - 1933 words

Author's superfluous rambling: Finals are coming up so I am kinda slow in the updating department. Apologies and thanks for your patience. And thanks for the vodoo mask one of you has mailed me last week.

T w o s h e - d o g s a n d o n e b o n e _*

Joe left the studio earlier on Friday afternoon since his guitar parts had been recorded and he was starting to annoy his band mates by talking about Brenda nonstop.

"Dude, you guys haven't even kissed yet. You might wanna take it down a notch," Pete advised him.

"Don't go all gaga over a woman before you even know where you stand with her," Andy agreed.

Joe placed his guitar into the rack and displayed a very nice example of his boyish grin, "You can say whatever you want. I got a feeling that this is going to work out just fine. She gave me her phone number so she's definitely interested." Good point.

"And did you call her yet?" Patrick asked.

Joe zipped up his jacket, "No..."

Pete laughed out loud, "How do you know it's her real number then?" I hate to admit it, but that's a good point, too.

"Oh, come on..." Joe made his way to the door. "She would have told me if she wasn't into me. I mean we're prone to meet in the park sooner or later again."

"We'll talk about this once you've actually called her, you pussy," Pete retorted and tried to rub away a stain that he had just detected on the chest of his shirt.

Andy started drumming his hands onto his thigs, "So how are things working out with Caroline?"

"She's pretty cool. Dax is in love with her or something... And he actually started listening to me," Joe replied.

"Guys!" Pete squealed. "Check this out!" He pointed at the mess on the front of his shirt. He had managed to rub the stain all over the chest section. "This is gonna be one of the new prints of the upcoming Clan collection. Doesn't it look like a little bat?"

"More like bat droppings..." Patrick sighed at the silliness of his friend.

"Despite the fact that your conversations about excrements are incredibly stimulating, I will head home now," Joe put his hand on the door handle. "See ya on Monday."

As he went down the hall he heard Pete's voice yelling, "Call her, you wuss!"

After he had gotten into his car he pulled out his cell phone and entered the phone book. Brenda was the first number there. (That is, after he had changed Dirty's entry from "Asshole" to "Dirty Asshole". Andy had been entered under "Hurley Burley", in case you've been wondering.) He thought for a moment and then put the phone onto the passenger seat. "I have to figure out what to say first," he thought to himself and started the engine.

When he came home Carl was still around. Joe found her lying on her back in the yard, Dax resting his head on her tummy. The little dog opened his eyes as he heard his owner approach. He barked friendly and ran towards him. When he had reached the man he wagged his tail even more than before and couldn't wait for Joe to bend down to pet him.

"Hey," Carl greeted him, getting up fast. She was a bit embarrassed that the man who paid her good money for training his dog had found her in this position. "We were kinda tired after the training, you know," she tried to explain.

Joe looked up from Dax who had rolled onto his back and was obviously enjoying his owner's display of affection, "I have no complaints whatsoever." The sheepish tone in Caroline's voice had not gone unnoticed. "I can tell that the little dude's learned a lot already. Yesterday he came right away after I called his name in the park."

"Great," she rubbed her pants to get off a few blades of grass that clung to them.

"So..." Joe said as she had walked up to him. The man got up and Dax spied something in the far corner of the yard and shot away. Carl's eyes followed the beagle and she smiled at the sight of his agility.

"I really wish you would take the rest of the money," the man pressed his lips together upon finishing his sentence.

"And I really wish you would stop saying that. What I got is fine. Really... I almost feel bad for taking money because I had so much fun with Dax."

"Well, in that case-" Joe smirked.

"Almost!" She pulled a face, "I said, ALMOST."

Then they went inside and had a coke each. Carl told Joe about the new things she had taught his dog and recommended the pet store where one of her friends worked. As they discussed the further course of action, it was decided that next week Carl would drop by every now and then at Joe's and check on Dax, repeat the commands and make sure he was doing ok.

"I feel really bad for leaving the little guy alone so long during the day... but we should be done with recording by the end of next week and then we have some time off before we start promoting the thing," Joe explained.

"So what happens when you go on tour?" Caroline asked.

"Hm... actually... I haven't thought of that yet. I guess I'll ask my parents to take care of him."

She nodded. Then she glanced at her watch and said she had to get home, take her own dogs for a walk. Joe didn't hesitate long before asking her if she minded if he and Dax tagged along. She didn't mind, her only condition was that they did not go to the park that the boys usually went to.

"That crazy nut lady by the pond gives me the creeps," Carl explained. And who would have blamed her? (Wittgenstein perhaps.)

About ten minutes later the man and the beagle made the acquaintance of Oreo and Pepper. The latter was not too interested in Dax but simply tolerated him. The black and white mutt, on the other hand, greeted the puppy with a wagging tail and they shook hands the canine way: sniffed each other's behind.

"Got yourself another friend," Joe patted Dax.

"Another friend?" Carl asked confused.

"Sure," the man smiled at her. "The first one was you."

Caroline didn't know what it was but for some reason she felt really comfortable around this dork. Maybe it was the way he always seemed to be in a good mood, how his cheerfulness was contagious. And perhaps also the way he didn't act as if he knew it all when it came to dog traning. Carl had met a lot of jerks who pretended to be experts in the field when in reality it surprised her they could tell a dog's head from its bottom. Or their own head from their bottom for that matter.

"So, what's with your hair, Joe?" she looked at his profile.

The man turned sidewise as they kept walking, trying to interpret her question by means of examining her straight face. He didn't know if this was an honest question or an insult. Duh, Joe.

"It's practical. I don't need a pillow with hair like that," he said in a serious tone.

While the five of them were out, the man witnessed the cute trick Oreo would do when Carl said "milkshake": The mutt turned around so that his rear faced the two humans, crouched down on his forelegs and shook his behind.

Joe laughed heartily at this sight and said that he had never been hit on by a guy yet. Or a different species.


After Joe and Dax had returned to their home the man finally had the guts to call Brenda and ask if she had any plans for the evening. She didn't and so they decided to meet at the bar they had previously gone to.

"So, what's the most unusual place you ever had sex at?" Brenda asked innocently after they had chosen their poison.

Joe choked on his drink and stared at her. Upon regaining his posture he shot back, "What's this? Truth or dare?"

The female nodded and smiled sweetly, "Something like that, yes."

"In that case I wanna go with the dare," he replied hastily.

"Alright then, Joseph," Brenda grinned devilishly and placed at hand on his knee. Both her mention of his full name and her touch made him feel like the prey being circled by the predator. Part of him liked the notion of that (the south pole part of his body) but for now his feelings were ruled by another part of himself: his insecurities about the way he was supposed to act in a situation like this. This was the first time a woman of Brenda's appearance was being so fast and progressive in showing her interest in him.

"I dare you to tell me about the most unusal place you ever had sex at," she smirked.

Joe chuckled at her doggedness. And then he chuckled at the word 'DOGgedness', considering the cirumstances under which he had met her. He was quite your goofball.

"Well, if you must really know..." he bend forward to her to keep the people around them from hearing what he was about to say. "I think that must have been in a treehouse."

"Nice," Brenda giggled. She didn't seem too impressed.

"What?" Joe said, sounding a bit disappointed in her comment. "What have you got?"

"A bed."

"How is that unusual?" he asked confusedly.

The woman slowly took a sip from her drink, purposefully making him wait for the punch line. When she sat her glass down again she answered, "If you knew me, Joe, you would see how this is unusual for me."

"Oh!" the man couldn't help but express.

"Yeah, I'm a sucker for the thrill," she didn't hesitate to let him know.

It didn't take an expert on facial expressions and body language to conclude that Joe was thrilled himself to gain that kind of information. It pretty much just took somebody with average eye sight, or even an eye patch to see that. It was less the fact that he was the kind of guy who appreciated physical intimacy under risky conditions and more the fact that he was a guy and therefore appreciated sex in general.

"So how about we disappear into the restroom for a while?" Brenda asked, pursing her lips.

It's quite difficult to describe what happened inside of Joe's brain after it had processsed her words. My best attempt at doing so reads something like this: There were a couple of noises resembling the chime of Big Ben, a color explosion that resembled Patrick's gay-pride vest and finally a complete power failure resulting in silence and blackness.

When Joe's cranial functions re-started he manged to grunt, "Huh?"

His female company giggled playfully, "I was only pulling your leg, dude. I'm not that sleazy."

"Damn," Joe thought. But he said, "Ha. I knew that." and looked sincere.

When the man arrived at his place two hours later, he had obtained the assurance that Brenda did kiss on the second date and that she was excited about going on a third one. And who knew what that one would lead to?


* Just to let you know: I have been tempted to add an "r" to this title.
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