FicWad

I sat and watched as you cried. I didn't want to see you in so much pain. But they was nothing I could do. Your whole family had just died in a terrible car accident. How could I help you? The answer was I couldn't. Only time would heal your pain. You would sit on the corner of the sofa withdrawn from everything we did. You would just sit and stare into space. I felt lost. Like they was no hope of me helping you. I told you time and time again that if you wanted to talk I was here. You never seemed to care. You said thank you then pushed me away from you. It hurt me so bad. You had once said that no matter what you would always be here for me. What if I needed you now? You wouldn't be here. Well your not here. You're gone. I still remember the day...How could I forget it? I came home from work hoping that you hadn't gone out with David already. It seemed that you had. I made myself some coffee and sat down to watch a film. When it ended I realized that you should have been home half an hour ago. I rung up David and asked if you were still there. He told me that you hadn't shown up. I was worried about you. I wondered where you were. Then I saw a piece of paper sticking out from under the phone. It was a letter addressed to me. I opened it:

Dear Roxy,

By the time you read this I will be gone forever. You may ask why I did this. I felt I could not live without my family. There had been they through everything. My drug addiction, alcohol problems and heart breaks. I know you told me that you were there for me but you didn't understand. Nobody understood. I was guilty. The last thing I said to my mother was that I hated her and my dad and wished that they would die. I didn't mean it but my wish was granted anyways. They both died. Along with my brother. I cried at the funeral. I saw you staring. I knew that it must have teared you up inside watching me so sad. I am writing this quickly. Before I go. To tell you that I loved you. More than I thought anyone could love. I loved you with all my heart and no matter what anyone says I always will do! I hope you manage to keep going. What is that song you always listen to? "I'm not afraid to keep on living, I'm not afraid to walk this world alone!" Remember that lyric no matter what. I have just thought of it and it's too late for me but hopefully it will help you to carry on.

I love you with all my heart,

X~~G~~X

I sat and stared at the note. Not knowing what it meant. Had you left? What had you done? I went into our bedroom and saw all your clothes were still here which meant that you hadn't left. I picked up my night gown and went into the bathroom. I stopped in my tracks. I had found you. I stared in horror. You were lying in a pool of your own blood. A razor only a small distance away. I collapsed to the ground. What had you done? You had left me alone. I cradled you bloody head. You were still so warm. I felt you still breathing. A small bit of hope returned to me. You opened your eyes very slightly. When you saw me you smiled. "I'm sorry. But I'll be where I belong now." You whispered. Tears silently fell. "You belong with me." I cried. "I'm sorry...." And you were gone. I sobbed into your bloody body not believing that you were dead. I don't know how long I sat there. Just holding you. I never wanted to let you go. Your body eventually turned cold. I put my head up and saw the razor lying on the floor next to you. I picked it up and hesitated. Should I really do this? Why not? I had nothing to live for now. Although you may not have known it I was only not killing myself for you. It would have been to much for you. So I stayed strong just for you. I drew the razor across my wrist. My blood spilled out. I gasped in pain. I felt my life ebbing away. The last thing I saw was my mother step into the bathroom. The last thing I heard was a blood curdling scream. Then blackness. I was dead.