FicWad

Everyone expects me to pick up and go on. But I can't. They don't understand that what I shared with her was special. We were connected. Which is probably why I can still hear her in my head.

Dear loved one, please listen
This might be the last chance I get

I used to hear her telling me that it was my fault, that I had killed her. But I knew it wasn't her. Then I would hear her begging me to join her, but she would never want me to do such a thing as take my own life. So I ignored the voices in my head.

I'm sorry I left you
I'm living in a world of regret

Now all she does is call my name. But it's different this time. This isn't just another voice in my head dredged up by my grief-inflicted imagination. She's using our link. It has to be her. I can feel it.

Don't cry if you can hear me
I never meant to hurt you dearly

She calls my name, over and over again. Screaming it. Whispering it. Scolding. Beckoning. Begging. Accusing. Taunting. Soothing. Asking. Answering. Hissing. Shrieking. Choking. Crying. Squealing. Shouting.

I'm so wrong, sincerely
Don't stop, take life seriously

It's enough to drive me insane. I know it's her. She has to be alive, somewhere. And then, as suddenly as it begins, it stops. No longer is she just calling my name. Now she's talking to me. And I know it's her.

Scott. Oh, baby, I know you miss me. But you have to listen to me, okay? You can't live like this. I don't want you to grieve over me for the rest of your life. I want you to be happy again. I want you to remember me the way I was. And I want you to find pleasure in those memories, not pain.

I had to do it. I'm so sorry, I never meant to cause you this much pain. But I had to. I could never live in a world without you. Because you are my world. And if I hadn't done it, I might have survived. But you wouldn't have. I couldn't live like that. I love you too much.

Don't come back for me. I don't want you to get hurt. Please. I love you, Scott, and I always will. Don't ever forget that.

These are the last words
I'm ever gonna get to say to you
When everything falls away from you
Take these words
And know the world is not worth leaving

He still came back for me. I told him not to, but he did anyway. And now he's... gone. Killed by this creature inside of me that I cannot control. She's inside my head, my heart, my soul. Every part of me, taken over by this being of power. Nobody can stop her. Not me, not Scott, not even the Professor.

There's so much I've done wrong
Since I left it hit me so strong

I still can't believe that I killed them. There is no excuse for what I did. I killed them, because I could not control it. And now it haunts me, like a bad dream from which you just can't wake up. And it scares me, thinking about all the death and destruction that is to come. She shows me, too. She shows me what we can do, and what we will do. She shows me all the people that are going to die because of us. And it scares me.

Take my hand and let's walk through
All the times I've lied and hurt you

I hate them, sometimes. Hate the humans, for making me have to hide. Hate the mutants, for making me who I am. Hate the Brotherhood, for wanting to use me. Hate the government, for wanting to cure me. Hate the school, for tying me down. Hate the X-Men, for giving me some kind of hope for the future. Hate the Phoenix, for making me feel so free. Hate Jean, for putting these restraints on me.

Those people, please love them
Don't hate them, we're not above them

I don't know who I am anymore. I feel like I'm slipping away within myself. All I want to do is let go, give up, and allow her complete control. To die away here inside, and join my dear Scott. But then I hear his voice in my head. It's not my imagination, I just know it. But somehow, some part of him has survived through our link.

You can have everything but have nothing
Listen, I've got to tell ya something

Jean? Jean, can you hear me? Jean, you have to hang on, do you understand? You can't let go. You died for us, so that we could live. Now you have to fight for them, so that they can keep on living. Find Logan, he can set you free of this monster. He will return you to me.

Don't be scared, all right? I'm right here. I'm right here with you, and I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be with you, and I'll always love you. No matter what happens, I'm here for you.

These are the last words
I'm ever gonna get to say to you
When everything falls away from you
Take these words
And know the world is not worth leaving

Last words I'll
Ever really get to say to you
So listen very carefully
To what I'm saying
Life is more than just the games you're playing

If there was ever really one thing
I could ever get across to you
I'd tell you not to do the things you do
Tell my mother that I love her too
And no matter what life pulls ya through (no!)
You've got what it takes to make it through
And if I was you, I'd get on my knees and pray
Thank God every morning for another day

Cause these are the last words
I'm ever gonna get to say to you
When everything falls away from you
Take these words
And know the world is not worth leaving

Last words I'll
Ever really get to say to you
So listen very carefully
To what I'm saying
Life is more than just the games you're playing
Life is more than just the games you're playing

--Last Words by Thousand Foot Krutch