Categories > Games > Final Fantasy 7 > Unrequited Desires

Chapter 1 Kill To Be Here Right Now

by previously_recorded 0 reviews

Cloud gets taken by Sephiroth when he looks for him in the mountains. Leads to a relationship, but the past can never truly be forgotten. dark themes sc zc

Category: Final Fantasy 7 - Rating: R - Genres: Action/Adventure, Angst, Drama - Characters: Cloud Strife, Reno, Sephiroth, Zack - Warnings: [!!] [V] [X] - Published: 2005-09-02 - Updated: 2005-09-02 - 4631 words

Unrequited Desires

Blinding pain filtered through his senses, leaving his head fuzzy about where he was and what he was supposed to be doing. A voice in the back of his mind told him that whatever it was it was immencially important. Cloud opened his eyes only to shut them again as a bright light invaded his senses. Wondering where he could possibly be where there could be any form of an artificial light was taking up most of his brain power. If his brain had been working to its full potential he would have noticed two things. One he was definitely not in the damp cave anymore, and two he didn't have use of his hands. Both notion alerted warning bells in his head and his eyes snapped back open.

Cloud's eyes had still not fully adjusted to the light, making everything a bit blurry. At first sight he noticed that he was in a small room of some sort, small but definitely eloquent. He was lying on a huge four poster bed with black velvet curtains hanging down around him. The room was decorated in all the artsy kind of stuff you would expect to find in a stuffy rich persons house. Including the fancy velvet couch that you know couldn't be in the least bit comfortable, but is there anyways because it looks nice. The walls were a nice cream color that accentuated the fullness of the room, and sort of brightened the black comforter he seemed to find himself lying on. The comforter felt to be silk against his neck and wrists, which just so happened to be pinned against his head.

The blond couldn't help but think in the quiet words of the virgin Mary 'come again' Stretching his neck back to get a better look he confirmed his earlier suspicions and found that his hands were firmly bound to the headboard of the plush bed he was currently inhabiting. The word fuck kept running absently through his mind.

His head snapped up to get a full view of his surroundings, and what he saw made his skin crawl. In his initial evalaluation of the room he had missed one piece of furniture. An old wooden rocking chair propped in the corner of the room. Now this rocking chair mind you was a very normal thing indeed. It was the person, or rather thing, inhabiting said rocking chair that made the hairs on the back of the blond's neck stand on in. The person who had wrecked his life so many times and then showed up with a bulldozer to do it so many times more. The man who was his past, present, and most likely his inevitable future. Glowing blue eyes narrowed at the look of satisfaction in the man's eyes, and one word of utter hate escaped his lips. "Sephiroth..."



That landscape was breathtaking. Beautiful snow capped mountains going on for miles and miles...did they ever end? Cloud didn't think so. It was more poetic to think that they didn't. To think that they went on for an eternity. Into space and beyond. It was better if you thought about life like that, never ending that is. That way the cold depressing truth about life doesn't drag you down where it had dragged so many others. It was better to think that you laster forever in the lifestream instead of just thinking that you're here and then you're worm food. That was one part of having Aeris around that he enjoyed so much, she was so uplifting. With her around you could think that if you jumped off one of those snow capped mountains that you would never come down. With Aeris it seemed anything was possible.

"Hey Spike where do you want to land?" Cloud was knocked out of his thoughts by Cid's voice. More unpleasant thoughts began to fill his head. Thoughts about why they were really in the northern mountains, and it wasn't for snowboarding. They had been tracking Sephiroth down for month, and now it finally seemed there was a decent lead. A lead to find the man who had unknowingly ruled Cloud's life since he was old enough to read a newspaper and actually know what SOLDIER was, though he doubted then he really ever knew what it was. Not after the bitter truth had hauled back and sucker punched him in the face did he know what the Shinra organization really was.

"Just pull in as close as you can." With help from towns folk they had tracked him down to the mountains by Nibleheum. The thoughts of his home town flooded back and made him cringe. So many bad memories were brought up by this place. His unhappy childhood, the mansion, and Sephiroth. Funny how everything eventually leads back to him. Chaos born to a silver haired warrior, it was almost unearthly how someone could be so cruel. He had single handingly destroyed both Cloud and Tifa's life without a passing thought. How many others lives had Sephiroth somehow managed to wreck. Cloud was sure the list was endless.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and spun to see bright green eyes staring into his. "Hey Aeris" she smiled at him. The girl always smiled, but when she smiled at him it didn't quite seem to meet her eyes. It was like she knew of his inner sadness. A fact that Cloud had carefully kept hidden from the world.

"Cloud what are we gonna do when we get there?" It was a fair question. They were all looking at their supposed leader for an answer, and when the blond opened his mouth to give one the words wouldn't come. What was he going to do when he came face to face with his worst nightmare? Somehow a peaceful reselution didn't come to mind. Cloud looked at the pretty flower girl he had come to consider a sister more than anything else and realized he didn't really have an answer for her, so he gave her the only answer he could in this situation.

"I don't know" He didn't know it was the truth, but he still felt as a leader that was a pretty shitty way to motivate troops.

Another thought had been plaguing his mind lately. When it came down to it could he kill Sephiroth? Sephiroth who had been the reason he joined soldier. Sephiroth who had been his idol growing up. Sephiroth who had been the only thing to keep him at Midgar all those miserable days. Could he do it? Cloud shook his head. Now he was just being ridiculous. Of course he could kill Sephiroth. He had done it before hadn't he? It wasn't his fault that the sneaky bastard managed to get the lifestream to bring him back. Cloud bit his lip in thought. Sephiroth's little reappearing act wouldn't happen a second time. If he had to dive into the lifestream with the bastard he would make sure he didn't come back again.

He shot a glance at Aeris who was still staring at him. She was always staring at him in this way. Like if she didn't take care of him in her motherly hen sort of way that he would shatter like glass. But he wasn't glass, he couldn't afford to be glass. Too much was on the line...he couldn't be weak! "We'll just have to see what happens won't we?" He put a fake smile on before retreating out of the Highwind's hull. The moment his feet hit the grass his knees buckled, and he nearly fell over. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach, and Cloud was mildly sure that he might hurl.

Aeris, Tifa, Vincent, Yuffie, Cid, Nanaki, Barret, and Cait Sith followed him out. "So who's gonna go with you huhhhhhhh Cloudy?" Cloud glared at Yuffie. The deceivingly sweet ninja girl had taken up the habit of adding a 'y' after everything she called him. It really could start to grate on a person's nerves.

"Not you!" He coldly answered back. He really wasn't that mad at her, but the sadistic part of him got a thrill out of seeing her mock hurt face. He knew it wasn't genuine because in a few seconds she smiled again and went off to chase a bird. "Okay Tifa and Aeris will go with me the rest of you will serve as back up." There were no whines or complains, well except from Yuffie, everyone was used to these pairings by now, they excepting it for how it was. And if they didn't like it most of them had the good sense not to mention anything about it, most would be the key word here as Cloud continued to glare daggers at Yuffie, who simply stuck out her tongue.

"Ah no fair no fair! Cloudy I wanted to go with you!" The word childish came to mind. Cloud merely shook his head at the raven haired girl and continued inside. He really didn't know how the other's felt, well except maybe Vincent who probably could give a fuck less. Cloud always felt like Vincent considered him a child to babysit anyways.

With a shrug of his shoulders Cloud continued into the cave with his two friends at his side, and the rest of his party lingering behind in case they were needed. But really the familiar weight of the ultima weapon layed on his back, how hard could this be?


As soon as Cloud caught sight of the silver haired menace all reason went out the window and hatred filled his senses."You fucking bastard what the hell am I doing here? Let me go you sick murdering fuck!" Cloud lashed wildly in the bed trying to wriggle his way free, he could feel the skin on his wrists being rubbed raw from the friction. It wouldn't be too long before they were bleeding and then he would be really fucked.

Sephiroth was still in the chair watching the blond's futile attempts with a look of amusement on his face. After a long time of watching he finally got up. By this point with every thrash Cloud would wince in pain from where the rope bindings had dug into his skin. Blue eyes met sparkling green as a eloquent hand reached out and pushed in on his chest preventing further thrashing, the other hand traveled to his chin locking it firmly in place.

"Strife stop trying to resist the inevitable..." His voice was calm and full of hidden mirth. The words seemed to flow off his tongue like water, and Cloud couldn't help but be momentarily distracted by their grace. The statement confused him and he couldn't help but stare into glowing aqua orbs. If nothing good had come from the mako treatments at least it made their eyes look like that. After a few fleeting moments of temporary insanity the situation at hand came rolling back, and Cloud jerked his head from the pale hand that was clutching it, only to have it it jerked back. "Cloud..." There was that calm graceful voice again. "I spared your life and the life of your party. Now you will do everything I say." He smirked "Hopefully with little resistance"

Cloud's eyes burned with hatred and he spat in the other man's face. Sephiroth took it calmly, and wiped it away, though you could see the pent up anger and disgust in his eyes. Cloud could hardly give a shit at the moment though. "You fucking liar! You killed her you sick bastard! I won't do anything for you now get the fuck away from me!" The blond once again began thrashing against his bindings, biting his lips to stop the yelp the pain in his wrists was causing him. Though he didn't have to settle on that pain for very long because Cloud's outburst caused him a punch in the face.

He could feel the bittery coppery taste in his mouth and since his head was knocked to the side he spat it on the pretty silk pillows, feeling no remorse what so ever at destroying them. Cloud was forced back into the world of the living when he felt a weight settle on his chest, and more importantly and hand settle around his neck.

In fear Cloud turned his eyes to see that Sephiroth was on top of him straddling his waist. The before mentioned hand was tightening its grip on the blond's slim neck, blocking the air passage and making him gasp out in need. A sadistic smile formed on the silver haired general's face, but his eyes were unnaturally calm. A little too calm for Cloud's liking.

"Bad puppy..." Cloud had no time to think over the odd name, because Sephiroth had shifted his body so that he was now resting on his thighs. "Your little analysis was flaud in several ways." The hand relented from his throat and traveled to his blond spikes, stroking them in an almost affectionate manner. "First I never lied. The rest of your party is still alive." Sephiroth's other hand traveled down his chest and rested right on his hip, giving Cloud of fluttering feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Second, it was your fault the bitch died in the first place." The innocent hand that was ghosting over his thigh lost it's innocence as it delved into his wasteband and harshly grabbed his member. Cloud gasped and began to whimper as Sephiroth moved closer. He could feel his hot breath next to his ear as his tongue traced his lobe. When he finally opened his mouth Sephiroth's voice was no more than a whisper. "and finally puppy...there are many, many things you will do for me."


As the three made it through the cave Cloud couldn't help but get a strong feeling of foreboding. This feeling could possibly have to so with the fact that anytime that he had ever encountered Sephiroth his life had gotten fucked up in one way or another, and really why should this time be any different? "I've got a bad feeling about this" Tifa looked over at Cloud and smiled before grabbing his hand.

"Don't worry Cloud I'll protect you." Cloud couldn't help but smile, and gave a gentle squeeze back. Tifa. What more was there to say? She was the the woman of his wet dreams. She tickled his fancies. She was everything to him. Unfortunately though to her knowledge they were just best friends. He longed for something more with the brunette, and really one of these days, after he was done saving the world, he was going to tell her.

"And here I thought I was supposed to protect you." Really if he could see himself he really would have described his flirting as pathetic. He was giving her the biggest puppy dog eyes he could muster, and she was blushing in response. Hmm maybe Tifa didn't think of him as just a friend. But enough about his aching libido, they had a job to do and he couldn't keep getting distracted.

He looked over at Aeris who had been extremely quiet this entire time. "You okay Aeris?" Cloud blinked in surprise when the brunette answered the exact question that had been on his mind. He shrugged it off as the fact that they just spent way too much time together, which if Cloud thought about it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. The flower girl looked up at Tifa giving her that smile that she so often gave Cloud.

"Yeah Tiffe. It's just I guess I have the same feeling as Cloud. Like something really bad is about to happen yeh know." Tifa gave Aeris a look and then rolled her eyes.

"You two worry to need to lighten up we're all gonna be fine." She gave them both reassuring smiles and they made there way further into the cave until all you could see in the darkness was Cloud's two glowing eyes.

As they turned the corner Cloud caught site of the man. He was decked out in his usual get up consisting of black thigh high boots, leather pants, and a shirt that showed of his enormous chest. His long flowing hair reached almost to his waist by now, and Cloud couldn't help but scoff at how every strand seemed to be in perfect place. Even when he's insane he's still as prissy as ever. all in black with long flowing silver hair. Okay so maybe prissy wasn't the right word, there was no denying Sephiroth was gorgeous, but that didn't stop what he had to do.

Sephiroth jumped down from the perch he had been sitting on. He was staring directly at the blond headed beauty who seemed to haunt his thoughts lately. In truth he felt a bond with Cloud. Even though their experience with each other while in Shinra wasn't a pleasant one. He stared intently at him seeing how his once normal eyes glowed. He was quite aware how Hojo had done all those experiments on the spiky haired boy. That was the main reason he had tortured the crazed scientist before killing him, well that and the fact that he just got his kicks from seeing the pasty faced scientist beg for mercy before gutting him with the masamune. That was beside the point though, Cloud was after all in his mind his, and no one could hurt the blond besides him.

Cloud felt a chill go through him as he saw Sephiroth smirk. Both their eyes were focused directly on each other. It was Sephiroth who finally broke the mood. "Good to see you again Cloud...It's been a long time." Been a long time... Really who the fuck did this bastard think he was?Feeling the small pool of hatred in the pit of his stomach that was reserved only for the silver haired general well up inside of him Cloud charged Sephiroth who quickly pulled out Masamune and blocked the attack. The general pushed him off and then with cat like reflexes went behind slamming him to his body and put a knife to his throat.

The blond tried to struggle out of his position, but found that when he tried to move the blade would come closer and closer to piercing his skin. A small cut had appeared before he finally gave up struggling and sagged limp in the stronger man's arms. Resolving to just glare for the moment.

The girls went to help, but looks from both the men stopped them in their tracks telling them otherwise. Cloud could feel the older man's hot breath on his shoulder. He inwardly cursed himself for being so stupid. How could he have charged Sephiroth like that? He knew the general was both stronger and faster than him...he really was asking for it. Though all this didn't make him feel one bit better about his failure. Now he was likely to get all of them killed...really he couldn't help but think it was great going on his part.

Sephiroth held onto Cloud possessively leaning into whisper to his catch. "Do you care for her Cloud?" The question caught Cloud off guard. Just for the fact that it had probably been the least likely thing he would have Sephiroth would ask him at the moment. He was thinking somewhere more along the lines of 'How does it feel to lose?' or 'Do you want a quick or a slow death?' Being as it was Cloud couldn't think of any answer other than...

"Who?" Sephiroth was annoyed with he answer. He knew Cloud knew who he was talking about and yet he was pretending to be stupid. Though really for all he knew all that mako might have actually made him stupid. That still didn't help his patience any.

In an annoyed voice Sephiroth stressed the answer. "The Tifa girl Cloud." He felt the blond stiffen in his arms and as a result strengthened his hold on the lithe boy even more. "How far would you be willing to go for her?" He spun Cloud around so he could look in his eyes. Knife still at his neck. In his birds eye he could see a small drop of blood from his cut roll down his neck and onto his shoulder blade.

"I'd die for her!" Sephiroth's eyes went cold as he spun Cloud into his original position. A noble answer, but unfortunetely for Cloud definetely not the right one.

"I see..." Sephiroth practically growled his response so that Cloud couldn't help but shiver. "Then she will die for you." His voice was still calm, calm enough to not trigger Cloud's spidy sense into action.

Before he knew what was happening he was thrown against the wall. Cloud struggled to get his bearings and looked up just in time to see Sephiroth impale Tifa. "TIFA!" He screamed her name and as he did all time seemed to slow down as he watched the woman he was beginning to love her drop to her knees and reach out to him. Speaking only one word before she fell over dead.

"Cloud..." Cloud could feel his heart shatter into a million pieces before he was hit over the head with what felt like the hilt of a sword, and then everything went black.


Sephiroth watched Cloud struggle under him as he teasingly continued his menstrations. The most satisfying part of the whole ordeal was seeing Cloud's treacherous body betraying him and giving into what his mind was so obviously fighting. Small whimpers were heard from deep within the blond's throat, and Sephiroth could feel his body tense up and prepare itself for climax. A lone tear fell down the struggling boy's face and Sephiroth couldn't help but lean down to lick it up. Apparently that was all it took to send Cloud over the edge, for the the next moment came a strangled cry as the blond erupted onto Sephiroth's hand.

Cloud collapsed backwards onto the bed, all sense of pride gone from him due to his bodies treacherous actions. He could feel the older man milk the last of his juices from him, and he couldn't help but turn away when he felt a wet hand reach up and trace his lips.

What was he playing at? Of course Cloud was quite aware that Sephiroth got his jollies from torturing people, but really why this? Of all the things he could do to torture Cloud giving him an orgasism really didn't mark top on his lists. But then Sephiroth was really one sick twisted bastard who was definetely fucked in the head, and in his mind this probably made a whole hell of a lot of sense. Ah the joys of being insane...

"Cloud" Cloud looked up at that, noticing how Sephiroth was staring at him with a mixture of lust and concern on his face. If Cloud didn't know any better he could have almost said that the ex-general cared. That of course was if he didn't know any better, and he liked to think he did. Of all the things he thought the general wanted from him this was not one of them. He felt the older man caressing his hair and looked up into his eyes. All sense of self worth that Cloud thought he might have had broke at that moment and unwanted tears fell down his cheek. His face was burning from embarassment at his sudden predicament and show of weakness. Really things couldn't get any worse. What was Sephiroth going to do next, analily rape his mother while pouring sugar in his gas tank. Oh that's right he couldn't rape his mother because the bastard had already taken it upon himself to kill her. Though really he wouldn't put it past the bastard to be into necrofilia.

He could feel lips on his eyes and a tongue licking his tears away. He turned his head making the man's next kiss fall to his neck. Sephiroth wasted no time and began to nip down his neck, making a trail down his collar bone and back up. Finally settling on a sensitive spot right above his pulse.

"Why are you doing this?" He wasn't sure it was even his own voice that asked the question, he was much too confused at the moment to realize such a thing. Sephiroth was now back to stroking his hair, and he was trying his hardest to ignore his bodily impluses that were telling him to lean into the touch. Cloud swallowed thickly and felt Sephiroth kiss his bobbing adams apple.

"Because I want you puppy." Sephiroth's voice was filled with lust. A voice that seemed so familiar. Who was he kidding? That voice was the voice of all his wet dreams. That was the voice that kept him motivated all throught SOLDIER. The voice that he yearned to just address him once, and then got to have his way with nightly in his dreams. Cloud was angry now but more at himself than anything else. Why did this have to happen now?

"Is this some kind of new thought up torture.. huh Seph? Because really I have to say that it sucks!" Cloud's voice was shaky and he felt himself flushing all over. "I don't know how you found out, but I wish you would drop the fucking act!" Sephiroth raised a finely sculpted eyebrow at him, and the blond resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Everything had to be an act with him didn't it?

"What are you talking about?" Cloud stopped his carefully thought about rant when he heard definite confusion in the other's voice. Cloud felt speechless. He obviously had to know. What other possible reason could he have for doing this?

"You know." It wasn't a question, it was a fact. Sephiroth had to have known, that was why he was doing that. If Cloud had nothing else to hold his faith on than he would hold it on that fact.

"No, as a matter of a fact I don't" Sephiroth pressed himself close to Cloud forcing a strangled moan out of the blond. "But you will tell me now." Sephiroth's voice had grown serious. A voice that left no room for argument.

"Stop it okay. You obviously found out about how I felt towards you in SOLDIER." Cloud glared at the silver haired man. "And might I just say that trying to exploit a young impressionable boy's weakness is low even for you!" He turned his head away only to have it pulled back again. Only this time the eyes he looked into were gentle.

"What feelings Cloud?" Cloud felt his jaw drop. Did he really not know? If so then why in the world was he doing this? It was inconcievable that he might actually want him like that, so why?

"That I.....that I....that I used to love you!" There it was out. No use trying to fein ignorance, all he had to do now was stick his chin in the air and try to ignore the no doubt laughter that was to follow his confession. Cloud looked up with worried eyes when the laughter never came. Sephiroth was completely silent, and then without warning pulled Cloud in for a hungry kiss. For a few seconds Cloud saw stars as he was entranced by the feeling of Sephiroth's mouth on his, but as soon as it had come it was gone. The silver haired ex-general had gotten up and left the room they resided in leaving Cloud to his very confused thoughts.

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