FicWad

Unrequited Desires

Chapter 10 Sympathy for the Devil

Hands, they were everywhere. They were covering him, devouring him, pleasuring him. Sapphire eyes snapped open, only to stare into that of glowing aqua. Sephiroth? If this was another one of those messed up dreams, than why in it was he kissing his current lover?

"Are you sure about this Cloud?" Why was he asking him that? Didn't he already know the answer? Sephiroth's pale hand traveled to his hair, hair that was much longer than it currently was. So this was a dream, but then why was it Sephiroth with his hands all over him? Why wasn't it Zack? It had occurred to him that he should be relieved that it wasn't Zack, but he was just so used to these dreams right now for that to click.

It was in that moment that he vaguely began to notice his surroundings. He was currently laying on top of a desk, covered by a body whose hands were both up his shirt and down his pants. Cloud tried to remind himself the question that he had just been asked, but then again why bother because he wasn't really going to get to respond to it anyways. He was really starting to like the dreams where the other Cloud got to control everything, even his own thoughts. At least then it wasn't so damn confusing.

"No." Sephiroth seemed upset by that answer, and his hand started to move out of his pants, but Cloud stopped him. "I'm not sure of anything anymore Seph..." A sense of deja vue filled him when those words left his mouth, and he had a sneaky feeling he had said them all once before. This sneaky feeling was only backed further when he started speaking again. "But that doesn't change the fact that we are going to do this." Now that was just plain weird. "So that means you're not going anywhere right?" He knew what was coming next. He remembered this exact conversation with Sephiroth, because it had happened the first night he had been captured. In fact he knew it so well that he opened his mouth to continue it. "So you might as well kiss me right?" In truth he didn't know who had said that. He wasn't sure if he had had momentary control of this body, or if the conversation had just been that much alike.

Though this really wasn't the time to be pondering such things, and he was reminded of that fact when Sephiroth leaned down to kiss him. That kiss soon turned into much more as Cloud began arching at every one of the man's touches. He could feel the pleasure coursing through him, he could hear every one of his own moans, and yet he still could not control his body.

Sephiroth fully grabbed him, stroking him in time to every one of his own thrusts. He could feel the pressure building up in every fiber of his body, and yet the whole thing still had yet to seem real. This was a dream. This was a dream. This was just a dream. He chanted that over and over in his mind even as his body came into his pale haired lover's awaiting hand.

Cloud collapsed back onto the desk, panting over the whole excursion. He still couldn't figure out what he was doing here. He was supposed to be with Zack in this time wasn't he? So why in the hell had he just let Sephiroth give him a hand job?

"You should be getting back." That snapped him back to reality, and it seemed to make his younger self more alert as well. Half lidded eyes sat up from the desk, and looked to see Sephiroth once again facing the office of his window.

"But what about you..." He paused. "I mean you didn't go did you?" His juvenile self pushed himself all the way off the desk, and went to stand behind the man, laying his mop of blond hair on his back. Very slowly one of his hands stretched around Sephiroth's body, making its way to the clasp of his leather pants.

He had been expecting that his self would do something like this, but he hadn't expected that this Sephiroth would use a hand to stop him. "No. Don't touch me." Cloud pulled back as if burned, and backed away.

"Why the hell not?" He was shaking with anger, and what might be construed as fear. "Why can you touch me, but I can't go anywhere near you. For fuck sakes Seph we've been doing this for almost a month now!"

The man spun around, and you could already see the anger on his face. "Wrong Cloud. We've been making out in abandoned hallways, dry humping in the training center...we haven't been getting intimate, until now." He knew what he was really saying though, in fact he could read his younger self's thoughts as well. What he really meant was that he hadn't completely cheated on Zack yet, not all the way at least.

"You selfish bastard!" If he had the power he would have placed a hand over his own mouth. His exclamation seemed to get Sephiroth's attention though, or maybe it was his eyes that were quickly filling with tears that caught the General's eye. "How dare you try to take the righteous road when you damn well know how bad this whole thing is tearing me up inside!"

When he actually heard a sniffle, Cloud saw Sephiroth's face soften, but then it was again turned to its stoic and cold self. "Then why are you still here?" Through Cloud's own confusion, he felt his other self's thoughts begin to completely take over again. Though he couldn't say that he was that upset, in fact he was a little relieved.

How could Sephiroth have done this to him? After everything he had to give up, or put aside to be with him, how could he so carelessly say such things to him? Did he not think that the fact that he was doing this to Zack wasn't killing him inside? "Is that what you want Sephiroth?...for me to leave."

At those words Sephiroth's eyes seemed to glow a dark sinister green, but he got himself under control rather quickly. Although his voice still held a gruff uncontrolled tone to it. "You know what it is I want."

He didn't know what Sephiroth, how the hell should he know? "No I don't!" Cloud's fists balled at his sides, and with one arm he hastily wiped at his tears. "I don't know what you want because you've never told me!"

Cloud stepped forward, and in a bold move pushed Sephiroth in the chest, making it so that he fell back against the window. "I don't know anything real about you. All I know is that I'm hurting someone very dear to me for just being with you, and yet I can't stop." He stepped closer. "All I think about is you." Another step. "When you're not around I picture you touching me." He stepped so close that his mouth was right next to the taller man's ear. "Sometimes when Zack is fucking me I imagine it's you inside of me...even though all we've done until now is kiss." As he said that he lightly bit at his earlobe. "So tell me Sephiroth...what is it that you want?"

The back of his hair was harshly grabbed, and it was tugged so that his face was inches from the man's lips. "What I want Cloud..." He paused, as if debating how much information to divulge. "What I want is for you to leave him."

It was like someone had sucked all of the air out of the room at Sephiroth's confession. Stunned, Cloud pulled back, leaning up against the desk he had just been pressed against. Of all the things he had expected to hear, that was definitely not at the top of the list.

He didn't know how to respond to that. He didn't know what to do about that at all, so he said the first rational thought that came to his mind. "I...I can't."

This apparently was not the answer Sephiroth was looking for, because upon hearing it his hands clenched into fists, and his eyes seemed to become alight with malice. "Why the hell not?" One of those clenched fists slammed into the wall, making a rather sickening crack. Though Cloud wasn't sure if the crack had came from the wall, or Sephiroth's hand itself. "If you think about me so god damn much that you can't even get fucked by him without picturing me, then why can't you leave him for me? Why the hell can't you choose me over him?"

"Because I don't love you!" He hadn't wanted it to some out like that. As a matter of fact he hadn't wanted it to come out at all, but that didn't change the fact that it had.

Sephiroth's hair had fallen in front of his face, shielding all of the emotions that might have been picked up there from view. But you could still hear the broken tone to his voice. "But you love him?"

He wanted to reach out to him, but it just didn't seem right. So instead in an even more broken voice then Sephiroth replied with, "Yes...with all my heart."

Sephiroth didn't look up. He didn't even give the slightest clue that he had even heard him, that is until he responded in a cold voice with, "Then return to him. Return to Zack and don't come here anymore." That was when this so-called dream got really weird. Sephiroth's features changed to that of Zack's, and when the man looked up he wasn't staring into aqua eyes anymore, but completely golden glowing eyes of Zack. His eyes weren't gentle like they were before though. No, this time they looked more like that of a demon. When the person talked he seemed to have both the voice of Sephiroth and Zack, in fact they seemed to overlap each other. "Don't ever come here again."

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Cloud didn't even jump from the transition to the real world from his dream one. He had gotten so used to it by now that the sick feeling of all of your insides being twisted to knots didn't even faze him all that much. Of course that didn't mean it freaked him out any less, especially that last one. What had it all meant? Did that mean that Sephiroth and him were partially together even before now? Harshly he shook his head, effectively scrambling such thoughts to the back of his mind. If that were the truth than that would mean that all of his other dreams were as well...That would mean that Zack was real. Though, he realized, there was one way that he could figure this all out. He could ask Sephiroth. He wouldn't lie to him...would he?

Where the hell was Sephiroth anyways? Cloud struggled his way out of bed, wounds now almost fully healed. It seemed after he had fell asleep on Sephiroth's chest that the man had cast a cure spell on him from his materia...truthfully he didn't know why he hadn't done it earlier. Actually he probably did. Sephiroth probably wanted him semi-hurt so that he wouldn't run out of here...not that he would even if he was in tip top condition. Why the hell would he leave Sephiroth?

Back to the where Sephiroth was thing, it just seemed to occur to him that he had no idea where he was himself. They definitely weren't at the mansion in the northern continent that the were at before. Here seemed completely different. For one thing there was a window in his room, and when he looked out he could see a sea of trees as far as his eye would travel that were just changing autumn. The room they were staying in seemed much smaller, and even though this was the first time he had actually been all that conscious since he came here, he could hazard a guess that the rest of the house was too. All in all it seemed much less elaborate than before, which he didn't really care about. It's not as if he had been allowed at of the room in the past, so what did it matter to him if they were living in a mansion of a shack?

Pushing himself shakily to his feet, he made a grab for what looked to be a black cotton robe that was lying on a chair beside his bed. There also happened to be some comfy slippers lying next to the bed, so he added those to his boxers and robe. Not exactly the most commendable outfit, but it would do.

It was then he noticed something very strange, and his eyes widened with his realization. The door to the room was wide open. Sephiroth wasn't even here, and yet the door that he thought would probably never open again was ajar.

Shakily Cloud pushed his way over the threshold, and looked around at his surroundings. He was quite right about the house being much smaller than their last one. In fact this one looked rather rundown. The one they were vacating appeared to be the only one in the place, and along with it there was just an entry way and a kitchen. Sephiroth definitely hadn't gone all out when he had picked this place.

The ground was gritty a dirt covered as he made his trek through their small place, and as he reached for the front door he couldn't help the gasp of surprise that escaped him when it actually opened.

Bright sunny rays shined into his eyes, nearly blinding him at the shock of it. He half realized that his mouth was hanging off its hinges, but he couldn't help it. Why was the door open? The door was never open. More importantly though, where the hell was Sephiroth?

He didn't have to wait long for his question to be answered, however, because he soon saw where Sephiroth had made his way to, and it was definitely a good sight. His pale haired lover was standing there with his back to him, long silver hair blowing in the breeze, and in that moment he looked to be the epitome of an angel. You could never tell from looking at such an ethereal creature how much blood was really on those hands. You couldn't tell the twisted works of his inner mind. No, just looking at him Sephiroth was someone to be adored...someone to love.

"Sephiroth!" The weeds from wherever they were staying had grown up hip deep, and when the man turned around in them it almost looked as if he was turning in water. It seemed that he had been deep in thought, because he looked rather annoyed with having his concentration interrupted, but Cloud couldn't be concerned with that. Right now he needed to ask some much needed questions.

Cloud quickly made his trek through the tall weeds, noticing how his slippers and robes got soaked from the just the dew alone. This led him to believe that it was still early morning. Sephiroth simply stared as he walked towards him, obviously much too concerned with whatever he was thinking about to notice the emotional turmoil going on inside his lover. Eventually though he must have realized that he couldn't continue to ignore him, for he said a curt. "I see you're awake." Before once again turning his body to look at the sunrise.

Of course Cloud was used to these fazes...Sephiroth got them a lot after all. These were just times when you would let him sit and be pensive, and maybe...just maybe, you could talk to him later on. Though now that he thought about it that didn't happen all that much. Sephiroth was just an all around difficult person to talk to, but this time he didn't have a choice, he had to try to get some answers.

Feeling in an extraordinarily wicked mood, Cloud grabbed at the pale haired man's hand, and unceremoniously plopped himself on the ground, effectively pulling his lover down with him. He was met by the damp ground, and he could already feel the dew soaking its way into his skin, but he could honestly say he didn't care...the look of surprise on Sephiroth's face from the whole thing was totally worth it.

A flicker of pain passed through his side, and he had to roll away from where he was pretty much pretzeled with a very pissed off looking Sephiroth to clutch it. His hand rubbed at the sore flesh, and he couldn't help but let out a sigh of contentment when a hand came up to massage it. "You're such an idiot...You could have torn open the entire wound with that little stunt of yours."

The pain began to subside as Sephiroth kneaded the his injured side, and his reasons for doing such a thing came back to him. "Seph..." Now there were many things he could ask him at this moment, but there was one that was just eating away at him. "how come I'm allowed outside now?"

A sigh escaped his throat when Sephiroth curled up at his side, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into his chest. "You said it yourself puppy...things are different this time." The grip on him tightened. "How can I expect you to stay with me if I treat you like some possession?" Cloud started to actually get worried when he felt the body holding him begin to shake. "How can I ever really be with you if our relationship is what it was before?"

Cloud struggled in the grip he was in so that he was looking right into Sephiroth's eyes. In truth he couldn't believe that he had just heard that. He couldn't believe that Sephiroth had just said that to him. "You're an idiot...you know that right?" A silver eyebrow rose at those words, but he said nothing. Apparently listening to one of his rants was just too appealing. "How can you think that I don't want to be with you?...That I ever didn't want to be with you?"

He noticed how aqua eyes darkened considerably at mention of that. "I don't know...maybe I was just thinking about the past." Alarm bells went off in the blond's mind, and his eyes widened to saucers.

"The past? What about the past?" Apparently Sephiroth had not meant to say what he did, because he immediately pulled away from their little hug and sat up.

He was once again facing away from Cloud. "Nothing...forget I said anything." Did he actually think that that could ever happen?

Cloud also sat up, scooting over to where his lover was sitting. "No, wait...don't pull away. I want to talk about this...you see this is kinda the thing I wanted to..."

He wasn't nearly prepared for the harsh barked out command of. "I said drop it Cloud!" that interrupted what he was going to say. Why would he be so guarded over this? There was no reason to be unless those dreams of his were actually true. No, he refused to believe that Sephiroth would lie to him about such a thing...It just wasn't possible.

Knowing he had to get some answers, but not wanting to upset Sephiroth in the process, Cloud went down on his list of questions. "Where are we?" This one wasn't exactly at the top of his list of priorities, but hopefully it was simple enough to cool Sephiroth down.

Though truthfully, besides for his little outburst, Sephiroth didn't seem all that upset. He was still just looking off into the valley, absentmindly tugging at grass. For awhile there Cloud didn't even think he was going to answer them, but then in a bored tone he muttered. "We're on the outskirts of some hick town called Gongaga. Someone I once knew came from here...I thought it would be a good place to lay low for awhile."

Strangely enough the name sounded familiar. It was almost like he had heard it in one of his dreams, which of course brought him back to that subject. He could only pray that this time he didn't get his head bit off. "Someone you knew?"

Sephiroth's grip on the grass got tighter, and for a second there Cloud thought he was going to get yelled at again, but then his fist relaxed. "Yeah...he was once what I guess you could call a friend...my only friend really."

Feeling he was actually getting somewhere, Cloud slowly crawled up behind Sephiroth, lightly wrapping his arms around the man's chest. "Really? What was he like?" He nuzzled his face into his lover's neck, and could feel Sephiroth begin to relax in his arms.

"Annoying." Sephiroth turned to quickly peck Cloud on the cheek, before once again going into his explanation. "He was funny though...always trying to make me laugh...said I took everything too seriously." The hairs on the back of the blond's neck began to rise as Sephiroth was caught up in his memories. "Maybe he was right, but then he was always right about those kind of things. He was always trying to see the best in everybody...always trying to see the best in me. Too bad he was wrong on that subject...you should always assume the worst in people."

How could someone think like that? Even if it was mostly right. Cloud crawled through the wet grass so that he was in front of Sephiroth, and in quick move straddled his waist. He slowly leaned into give him a kiss, and then before it could get too heated pulled away. "What's so wrong with that?" Sephiroth didn't seem to hear him though, he seemed much too preoccupied with staring at his lips. He wasn't all that surprised when a hand came up to pull their faces together, nor was he surprised when he pulled away to see the want in those aqua eyes. "What was this friend of yours name?"

Well that effectively got rid of all of the lust from Sephiroth's face. "Why do you want to know what his name is?" Okay so now he was a little mad. Why the fuck did he always have to be so stubborn like this? Cloud resituated himself on top of his lover's waist, not particularly caring to be all that gentle while moving around on some of his more private regions.

In a bitter tone his spit out. "Why you do you care if I ask?" Now this is the point that he really should have shut up, but his logic by this time had sort have been shot to hell. "Do you care because this so-called 'friend' of yours is named Zack?"

It was in that moment that he really just wished he would have had enough sense to have kept his mouth shut. To say Sephiroth looked pissed was a definite understatement. His teeth were bared in a snarl, making his two canines look remarkably like fangs. His eyes were on fire from their fury, and to add to that effect his hair seemed to be rising around his head due to the power radiating off him. So yeah pretty much he was just wishing he would have never opened his mouth. "Where did you learn that name Cloud?" He said this in a tone that sounded more like a demon's than his lover's, and Cloud really wished he would have just kept his mouth shut. Though in all fairness this probably all had to come out some day, right?

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Admitingly he would have to say he felt bad about smashing Reno's face into a mirror, but in all fairness the little bastard really deserved it. Plus it worked great to relieve stress, and come on you can't deny that the little red headed spitball didn't just need to get his face smashed in every once in awhile.

After switching gears, Zack fumbled around in his truck until he found one of his extra cure materias. "Here...and sorry bout the face." They really couldn't be fighting at the moment, not when they had much bigger fish to fry, or so to speak. He never really did get that saying...but it seemed to fit at the moment so he wasn't arguing.

Reno took the glowing orb without argument, and summoned enough magic to use it. It was really amazing how all the scratches seemed to evaporate like they were never even there, leaving only the old dried blood in its wake. "Wow...you actually being nice to me. Now there's a shocker, and here I thought you wanted to smash me into a few more mirrors before we got to that point in our relationship."

They really were going to get nowhere like this. Zack took a sharp turn through the streets of Midgar, not really paying that much attention to his driving. "Now Reno you know there is nothing I look more than chastising you, and I'm sure you feel the same way...but let's not fight right now...let's just form a plan."

The red head just shrugged at that, obviously not caring either way. That was good though, at least he was reliable. The truth of the matter was that Zack himself was still shaky after the phone call he had received from Aeris. She had told him about the attack on Rocket Town, and how one of their friends named Yuffie had just passed away. Of course though the thing that really stuck out was how the filthy bastard had once again taken Cloud away to God knows where, and what's worse is that he stabbed him first.

Now he knew that Sephiroth had taken a turn off the deep end a while ago, and for the most part he couldn't blame his one time friend, all those scientists had really fucked with his brain. And of course that whole being created from a live baby and Jenova cells thing...you know that can kind of have a part in messing with you sanity. But the thing he couldn't get over was him stabbing Cloud. How the hell could he stab the person he had claimed was the only one he ever gave a damn about? Was he really that far gone that he couldn't discern friend from foe? Was he back to the point he was back at Nibelheim, or was it that he had never really came back from that point?

"What's there to plan?" Reno put the materia orb back in the glove compartment, before turning to look at him. "We find Sephiroth, we kill Sephiroth, and then we take Cloud back." He really wished it were that simple, and in some ways it kind of was, but that still didn't change the fact of the matter of their dilemma.

"Reno I'm in total agreeance, but we don't even know where they are...and last I checked neither one of us were really on par with Sephiroth as far as fighting wise." He would love to say that he could just charge in there and slaughter the bastard, but Sephiroth was powerful...probably more powerful than the both of them put together.

Hitting the gas, Zack sped down towards the slum, and all the way through Sector 5. "Yeah but didn't Cloud beat the little fucker when he was only a trooper? How the hell could Cloud manage that and a SOLDIER and a Turk can't?"

"For one thing how Cloud beat him that time is still a big mystery." His face darkened considerably. "Believe me Cloud had to endure a lot of tests because of his miraculous win, and an answer still hasn't been found."

Finally reaching his destination, Zack skidded to a stop at the old run down church that the rest of AVALANCHE was currently hiding out in. Reno looked to him, then to the church, and then back to him. "What the fuck are we doing here SOLDIER boy...gonna pray for your win now are you?"

Zack smiled. "Nah Reno I don't think I've resorted to that yet. Friends that are going to help us are here though." To his surprise he received a scoff.

"Oh I know all about your little tonsil hockey friend's hideout, but I repeat what the fuck are we doing here?" He tried to ignore the part where Aeris was referred to as his tonsil hockey partner, and instead focused on the big picture.

"Well obviously they're friends...didn't think it was rocket science Turk." To his surprise Reno started hysterically laughing, so much so in fact that he thought he was literally going to start rolling on the ground.

When Zack was really starting to get worried about the red head's mental stability, he stopped with his laughter, and his face turned completely serious. "Oh, you were serious?" Reno started shaking his head back and forth. "Listen Zack I don't play well with others, and I especially don't play well with people who I'm supposed to be trying to kill."

Zack crossed his arms over his chest, giving the red head an incredulous look. "You can't be serious Turk...and I thought you were supposed to be a people person." When Reno's stoic expression didn't change, he gave an annoyed sigh. "Oh come on Reno we can't exactly help Cloud without all of their help. Despite how much you might not want to admit it, we do need them. Now suck it up and get your ass in that church."

There was a point that he really thought steam was going to come out of Reno's ears, but then with a huff he seemed to get control of himself, and instead of lashing out just angrily pointed. "You owe me big for this Zackary...and I definitely plan to hit you up for it."

A smile graced his face. "Sure thing Turk...whatever you want." Now he knew he shouldn't, but he really couldn't stop myself. "But I'll have to tell you I don't look near as nice in a thong as Rufus Shinra."

He stifled his laughter, and started heading into the church. "You know what that's is just weak sauce Zack. I can't believe you brought that up...and might I just add you in a thong...ew!" Weak sauce? Who the hell talks like that?

Just shaking his head, Zack pushed the door to the church open, immediately greeted by three worried faces...well four if you included that cat machine thing that was always with them. Aeris immediately rushed up to him, doing her best to give him a concerned hug.

"Oh Zack I'm so glad you're here! We've been so worried!" You could see the dried tears caked around her eyes from she had no doubt been crying, for the loss of her companion or Cloud she had no idea...neither would surprise him.

Patting her head, he tried to give his ex-fiancée as much comfort as he could. "It's alright Aeris we'll get Cloud back, and we'll get Sephiroth while we're at it." He looked around the room to see a man who looked no older than himself decked out in red and black with what looked like a golden claw on one of his hands, a man in his who appeared to be in his early forties smoking a cigararette, the before mentioned puppet, and of course Aeris herself. "Is this everybody?"

Aeris wiped at her recently leaking eyes, and looked around the room, suddenly realizing what she was doing. "Oh no...Barret visiting Marlene," Now he didn't know who the hell Marlene was, but it was just easier to nod at this point than to ask questions. "and Red's Grandpa's sick so he's in Cosmo Canyon." Again just much easier to nod. "But other than that we're all here..." Her face became more solemn. "what's left of us anyways." Now he didn't need to ask about that. He had heard of their earlier losses, as well as the one they just received. It was too bad to, he always liked Tifa.

"What's he doing here?" Zack's gaze shot up to the man decked in black, and saw how he was motioning towards Reno, who Zack noticed seemed to be staring at him as if he'd seen a ghost.

"Oh he's with me." This didn't seem to make the man any more trusting, in fact he seemed even less.

"Is that right? And who exactly are you?" He was about to open his mouth to respond, but Aeris cut in.

"Oh that's Zack, remember Vincent I already told you he was coming." A hand flew to her mouth as if she had just forgotten to do something very important. "Oh I forgot. This is Vincent Zack." She motioned towards the one in black. "And this is Cid." Again she motioned towards the chain smoking one of the group. Then her hands traveled to the puppet. "And this Cait Sith." As soon as she was done with their introductions, she turned her points towards them. "Guys this is Zack, and you already know Reno...well most of you do." Zack couldn't help but notice how the red head fidgeted nervously at that. He had a feeling that Reno had tried to kill the whole lot of them before, which might have explained his reluctance to enter the church. "They're going to be helping us from now on." Zack's gaze traveled to all of their faces, and couldn't help but think that this whole adventure was certainly going to be interesting if nothing else.

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