Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Life In Sunnyhell

Chapter Six

by majethrim 0 reviews

Post-Chosen. Buffy writes a book about her life in Sunnydale. Some people at Flourish and Blotts read it. 7th year story. Alternative sixth year

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Action/Adventure, Crossover, Humor, Romance - Characters: Dumbledore, Harry, Lupin, Snape - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2007-02-07 - Updated: 2007-02-08 - 2507 words

0Unrated
Disclaimers, etc, see part one

Chapter Six



Easter Saturday found Harry, who had been left alone at Hogwarts for the holidays, in Dumbledore's office. Dobby had woken him early and forced him to dress quickly. Harry was quite pleased to be out of his empty dormitory. The growing tension in the Wizarding world and the absence of any direct attack from Voldemort had convinced most people to go home for the holidays. Harry, for his own safety, was still at Hogwarts, despite any argument he had made to spend the two weeks with the Weasleys; at Number 12; or with Neville at the Slayer school.

"Now Harry," Dumbledore said gravely, "I expect you to Portkey back from Grimmauld Place no later than six pm."

Harry scowled slightly; he really would have liked more than eight hours of holiday. However, given that Voldemort was out to kill him, eight hours really was a big enough risk. Besides Harry was fairly sure that arguing wouldn't do any good.

"Yes, sir," he said.

He was going to ask who it was who would meet him at the other end. He realised with relief, that Snape's role as a double agent would prevent him from executing that duty. While his choice would always be Remus, he shuddered to think it would be Moody; or Dung Fletcher, who would hardly be protection at all.

Dumbledore didn't allow him any chance to say what was on his mind. He took the piece of parchment which had been lying on his desk and held it out to Harry. Harry grasped it carefully. He hated Portkeys even without the nasty memories they invoked; it always felt as though his stomach was somewhere else when he arrived.

"Portus," Dumbledore cried, with a jab from his wand.

Harry forced a grin before the Portkey activated the invisible hook took him behind his navel. He swore he would stick to Muggle transport or his broom as much as possible, however boring it would be, and he did not include the Knight Bus in his definition of Muggle transportation.

When he stopped spinning and could open his eyes he was standing the kitchen in Sirius's parents' house. Remus was sitting at the table smiling at him.

Harry's smile felt more genuine as he took a seat at the table.

"Good Morning, Harry," Remus said.

"Morning," Harry said.

He blinked at the calmness with which Remus had greeted his somewhat shaky arrival, but was glad for the normalcy of the situation.

"Tea?"

"Please."

Remus poured Harry a cup and pushed the tray of condiments across the table for him. Harry added milk quietly and stirred. He blew on the tea as hard as he could without having it spill out of the cup, and took a cautious sip. Remus smiled at him.

"Lily could never drink cooling tea, either."

Harry smiled at that, glad as always for little snippets of information about his parents. He took another sip of almost-too-hot tea. Remus blew on his again and sighed. He sat silently, and Harry was thankful for the ease and quiet.

They drank their tea slowly, but eventually Remus drained the last of his, and stood.

"Come, Harry," he said. "We do have quite a bit to do today."

Harry placed his cup back on the table, stood, and shook his robes out.

"Where are we going?"



Diagon Alley was not particularly busy. It was still cold enough to keep most casual shoppers away, and there were no immediate celebrations to buy for, so Remus and Harry were able to walk reasonably relaxedly.

Harry didn't have a particular agenda for this shopping trip. In fact, apart from the two weeks he'd been alone in Diagon Alley, he'd never had a chance simply to browse shops, and it was quiet different having Remus with him. Remus was able to point out interesting things in windows Harry had dismissed, he seemed to know all the shops that sold strange and curious things in the lanes off Diagon Alley, and he could tell Harry that while the green dress robes suited him quite well, so did the blue, and that had been James's favourite colour.

The morning was spent exploring various strange contraptions, and lunch was spent at the Leaky Cauldron. Harry bought new casual robes, and found a new set of dress robes. By three they headed back into Muggle London; their shopping done.

Remus turned to Harry with a half smile on his lips, "What do you say to having afternoon tea? I know a great spot near Covent Garden."

Harry looked at Remus suspiciously. He didn't know Remus well enough to tell, but the look on his face reminded Harry of right before he shot the chewing gum up Peeves's nose. "All right, I guess it can't hurt," he said tentatively.

They took the tube to Covent Garden and Remus led the way from there to a small teahouse. Harry's appetite picked up when he caught sight of the scones popping with currants and clotted cream, and little iced cakes. After ordering what seemed a vast amount even to Harry, who was used to Ron's appetite, Remus settled them at a table near the window. Harry began to eat, while Remus glanced out of the window with suspicious frequency.

They had been eating for about fifteen minutes, without making much dent in the food, when Harry was startled by a firm tap on his shoulder. He spun around to find the mirthful face of Buffy before him. Harry heard Remus chuckling in the background. Harry turned back to glare at him.

"Why did this have to be a surprise? You know how I am about surprises, they usually turn into near death experiences."

Remus just smirked and held out his hand, into which Buffy grudgingly placed a galleon. "I told you he would catch on"

Buffy pouted, "I still say you must have given too much away". She paused to turn and smile blindingly at Harry. "Remus thought you might need some help choosing ordinary clothes, so here I am, Shoppergirl, no store too large, no wardrobe too dated."

Harry, still slightly stunned from the smile, looked apprehensively at the hot pink shirt Buffy was wearing, with a slogan on it Harry hoped he couldn't understand, and then at Remus, who hadn't been wearing shabby robes but tan trousers and a blue linen shirt open at the collar. "Er, no offence Buffy, but I think I would prefer Remus to help me, his clothing seems more, er, me."

Remus chuckled again at the look that appeared on Buffy's face. "You tell him, Buffy," he said.

"Harry, who do you think helped Remus to buy his clothing in the first place?" she asked. "His choice in clothing made Librarian Giles look hip, and can you really say that Tonks would help pick appropriate clothing for Remus?"

Harry, stunned with mental images of Remus in torn jeans with a fluorescent vinyl shirt and a dog collar, shuddered as Buffy sat down to devour the remaining food at the table. While she ate more food than Harry thought four Rons could eat, he just sat there staring at her, and at Remus, who seemed oblivious to the petite blond eating enough to rival the Gryffindor Quidditch Team.

When she had finished Buffy looked up to see Harry staring at her; she blushed. "I had to take out a nest on the way here, and I didn't have time to stop off for a yoghurt."

Harry blinked, worked out that she was talking about Vampire slaying, and nodded.

"But we can go now," she said, "If you're ready." She turned to Remus, "What time do I have to have him back at HQ?"

"Dumbledore wants him back at the castle at six. But I can arrange a early supper for five o'clock if you've finished by then."

Buffy grinned. "Food is good," she said.

Harry looked at back at her, incredulous. "You just ate..." he said, unsure how to categorise the amount she had consumed. "Even Ron takes breaks from eating."

"That was Slayer eating," Buffy said. "Later it will be post-shopping exhaustion eating. Completely different stomach cavities."

"Like a cow," Remus said.

Buffy opened her mouth; obviously ready to remind Remus of the danger he was in making such comments around super strong hormonal females. But the mischievous spark in his eyes caused her to smile; it was a rare thing from Remus.

"I'll see you later," she told him firmly. "And you will feed me."

"Yes, ma'am," Remus said, smiling properly.

Buffy nodded to Harry, who hurried after her, glancing back once at Remus, who waved him on.



Shopping with Buffy was a new and extremely strange experience. Harry was dragged into one store after another, with no apparent system. The friendly person he knew as Buffy had vanished replaced by a scarily determined woman, who directed shop assistants with a steely glance, and denuded shops of their goods with relish. Harry simply followed her, taking off clothes and putting on others at her command.

In two and a half hours they hit nearly every shop between Covent Garden and Knightsbridge (Buffy had to stop at Harrods). Harry now had numerous shirts and tee shirts; four suits, including a dinner suit; several pairs of trousers; and more shoes than he had ever owned in his entire life. Buffy, however, was not satisfied with this, and firmly made Harry buy two sweaters, enough socks to make Dobby rabid with jealousy, various accessories and several pairs of boxer shorts. Buffy was quiet adamant about the last and Harry was very embarrassed to think that Buffy must have seen him in his underwear. Harry would have felt awkward at having bought so much, had Buffy not bought at least as much, without the excuse of a nonexistent wardrobe. Though from the sounds of her grumbling, a life of slaying was definitely hard on quality clothing.

Buffy carried most of the bags back towards to tube station, Harry had offered to carry more, but Buffy had shrugged him.

"Slayer strength is good for something," she said. "It's only when you leave the last shop that you realise how much you've bought."

Harry looked at all the bags of his clothes that Buffy was patiently lugging across London cobblestones.

"Oh, you deserve it," she said, interpreting his look. "You're going to have your photo taken after you save the world, you'll feel much better looking fashionable."

"I think I'm going to look beaten up," Harry said, remembering his last encounters with Voldemort.

"But fashionable nonetheless," Buffy insisted. "Be thankful you don't have to wear a skirt and high heels."

Buffy increased her pace, and Harry had to jog slightly to keep up. They made their way through the tube station, onto a train, and back out at Kings Cross. The day was much darker at five o'clock than it had been at two and Harry trusted Buffy to find her way to number twelve without thinking too hard about how many times she had been then and the possible reasons why.

The house reappeared in all its fading glory when Harry recited Dumbledore's old note in his head. Buffy followed him up the steps and silently through the corridor and down the stairs to the kitchen. Once there, however, she dropped the shopping bags with a thump and dropped herself into a chair.

"You promised me food, Remus," she called out.

Harry looked around the empty kitchen. There was no sign of any person, or of any food preparation. There was a muffled thump from the pantry in reply to Buffy's comment, and she seemed satisfied with that. Harry placed his bags carefully on the floor beside the ones Buffy had been carrying. He took a seat opposite Buffy, facing the pantry door, and waited for it open.

When it was finally pushed open, it revealed Severus Snape rather than Remus and Harry gulped. Snape seemed not to see him at all. He stalked to the back of Buffy's chair and bent to place a kiss on the side of her neck. She sighed happily and Snape kissed her again. Harry watched, too horrified to look away, as Snape's hand travelled from Buffy's shoulders out of sight and Buffy wriggled slightly.

Thankfully the back door opened before Harry could become too traumatised, and Remus coughed.

"I did not think you would engage in such behaviour in Harry's presence, Severus," Remus said. The mischievous glint was back in his eyes. Snape glared at him.

"I am doing what Buffy taught me to do," Snape replied. "I am ignoring him. Very soon I will go back to ignoring you."

"Less talking, more smoochies," Buffy said.

Snape bent back to neck and whispered in her ear. Buffy made noises that Harry had previously heard from Crookshanks. He tried very hard not think about what Snape might be saying.

"Oh, by Merlin, Potter," Snape snapped. "If you can't deal with my being involved with a woman, how are you ever going to find one for yourself? Longbottom's doing better than you. Do you really think you've got what it takes to defeat the Dark Lord?"

Harry gulped again.

"I have prepared supper," Remus said genially.

He pointed his wand at the table, and several platters of bread and cheese and ham and fish appeared. Snape glared at Remus again, as though the food were merely a means of distracting Snape from his attack on Harry. He couldn't do much, however, because food also distracted Buffy from his attentions and she filled her plate. Snape leant down and whispered something into Buffy's ear, something which made her shoot him a smouldering look and immediately start shovelling in food. Harry cringed. Remus took pity on him.

"I suggest you hurry up and finish Harry," Remus said kindly. "They only worse as time progresses. After a while it can become quite nauseating."

Snape turned to sneer at Remus, "Really, Lupin, I had no idea you were such a voyeur."

Remus smiled affably and shrugged. Harry decided that this was probably the best opportunity he would get to leave. He stood up quickly and went to gather his clothing. Buffy leapt up to hug him in farewell, and Remus shook his hand. Snape, of course, made no comment as Harry gripped the Portkey Dumbledore had made him and disappeared. As he departed through the nothingness Harry wondered why fate kept tormenting him like this. Voldemort was one thing, but Snape paired with the word smoochies was beyond his endurance.

The appeared again, woozy, in Dumbledore's office. Dobby was there, and immediately insisted on taking Harry's bags and packing his clothes into his trunk. Harry was too worn out to offer even a token protest. Dobby took the bags, leaving Harry alone with the Headmaster. Dumbledore looked over his glasses at Harry's pale face.

"How was your day, Harry?"

Harry blinked at him. "Fine," he said. "Just fine."
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