Categories > Anime/Manga > Inuyasha > Blurry
Blurry
By Tryster/Cyfris
Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha; that's all Rumiko Takahashi's genius. This is an AU for the most part, it really doesn't follow the storyline at all, but it's not a complete AU.
The song is 'Blurry' from Puddle of Mud. I screw around with the lyrics a bit, sorry about this. Another song that I found really fit this story is 'Boys Don't Cry' by Plumb
IMPORTANT NOTE!! So this is the long awaited sequel to Stay! Trust me, it's very long awaited considering how long Stay has been floating around the net (we're talking years here). You will want to have read Stay already, or else things will probably be confusing!
This story is almost entirely a flashback. It starts after the first break (these: [[+++]] ) and ends after the next set of those. In 'Stay' I said that it had been five years since Kagome left, but here it's ten years. Why? Well, I'm taking privileges as far as time-travel loopholes go. That, and I recall the manga mentioning that time travels differently between the past and the present.
WARNINGS!! Immense fluff and sap, AU, mild angst and mentions of blood, gore, and violence. Inuyasha/Kagome, implied Sango/Miroku. Best if you have read Stay first, but I guess you really don't have to.
//Song lyrics\\
'Thoughts/Internal musings'
++++
Inuyasha awoke with a start, wild golden eyes darting side to side. Not recognizing where he was, he tried to sit up, only to find himself held down by something... warm? Looking down, he started to find a silken mass of dark hair spread out on the pillow and pale arms wrapped around his waist.
...Kagome??
//Everything's so blurry
And everyone's so fake
And everybody's empty
And everything is so messed up\\
As if in answer, the dark haired girl sighed in her sleep, pulling herself closer to the hanyou. Inuyasha lay down again, a small smile tugging at his lips as the memories of the night before came back to him.
His smile was slowly replaced by a frown. 'That's right, I came back... to give her the shards, nothing more. I just wanted to see her again. But when I saw her walking there... gods, she was so beautiful. I couldn't help myself, I just had to hold her, feel her again.
But how can I stay here? She's so innocent, and I....
I don't deserve someone like her...'
[[+++]]
When Inuyasha came back out of the well, alone and without Kagome, the rest of the group thought nothing of it at first. They didn't realize that Inuyasha, instead of sulking alone like he usually did after the two of them had a squabble, was deeply sad and even more anti-social than normal. Sango, Miroku, and Shippou simply waited around in the village like all the other times, waiting for Kagome to come back.
But she didn't. As more and more days passed without any sign of the girl, the humans and the youkai-child became worried. It was Shippou who finally confronted Inuyasha. Going out into the forest, the child sniffed out the inu hanyou, following days old trails before finding that the fresh trails didn't move much. The kitsune found him sitting at a pool of water, up on a small cliff looking over it. Inuyasha's ears were drooped, his body was hunched and seeming curled into itself for protection. Shippou could smell salt in the air, but assumed that it was the sulfur spring below them.
One of Inuyasha's furry white ears swiveled around slowly to point back at the kit, and the hanyou sighed tiredly. "What do you want, Shippou?"
Shippou's tail bushed in surprise and worry. Not only had Inuyasha casually addressed him by his actual /name/, but there was no anger or haughtiness in his voice. He sounded... exhausted. The kit gulped down the tirade he had been going to unleash on the hanyou, assuming he had done something to Kagome again, and instead walked slowly up behind the red-clad hanyou. Still he did not turn, and Shippou awkwardly asked. "Umm... Inuyasha, are you ok?"
The hanyou snorted as though it were a stupid question. "No, I'm fine. I've just been out here by myself for days because I'm happy and I have nothing else to DO!" he almost yelled, the sarcasm in his voice harsh and painful.
Shippou's tail drooped and he wrung his hands together, wondering whether it was wise to ask about Kagome or not. Finally he spoke up in a soft voice "Because... you see, Kagome hasn't come back yet, and I, well, we were wondering if something... happened... to..." Shippou broke off, terror filling his face. Inuyasha had started to shake, and for a split second Shippou thought that the hanyou was shaking in rage, but he soon realized that the salt on the air wasn't from the spring below. Inuyasha was /crying/. Shippou didn't know which was scarier, an angry hanyou, or a severely sad one.
Shippou's ears twitched up "...What?" Inuyasha had said something, so muffled that even Shippou's youkai hearing couldn't pick it up.
Inuyasha whirled around, standing up and whole body tense with rage and sadness. Tear streaks ran down his face from fierce golden eyes and he roared "I SAID SHE'S NOT COMING BACK!! GOD/DAMN/ IT!!!" and he disappeared, moving down the cliff and jumping across the spring's water so fast a wake was left behind him and he disappeared into the forest, curses echoing into the dense trees.
//Preoccupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumbled and I crawled\\
Shippou sat curled up in Sango's lap, the human stroking his tail comfortingly as the kit sniffled, tears falling silently to land on her damp arm. Sango's face was firmly set, but her eyes were moist as she struggled to stay strong for the emotional kit. Miroku and Kaede were in similar states as they both took watch on the porch, watching and waiting for any sign of their hanyou friend, but he didn't come. None of them had yet realized that he was planning on never coming back.
Months later Miroku and Sango finally realized that they couldn't stay in the village anymore, and that Inuyasha wasn't coming back. They had heard rumors of a white-haired youkai that had suddenly become very active north of them, and more rumors that shikon shards were appearing and then disappearing rapidly, but Inuyasha's name wasn't mentioned in the rumors, and so the monk and youkai hunter didn't know whether to follow the words or not. They finally concluded that they wouldn't; there was little point now. Still in a muddle of depression, the two left, hand in hand.
Shippou remained, his desperate need and desire for family keeping him in the village. The loss of the only people who he had thought he would never loose had devastated him. While he had thought that he would go with Miroku and Sango, he hadn't. Instead he stayed with Kaede, who was more than happy to let him live with her.
Long years passed. The rumors of the white-haired demon lessened to be replaced with ones of Inuyasha, which kept Shippou alert for any ounce of news from the outside world. His youkai memory was long and strong, and when a decade passed he hardly noticed save for the death of Kaede and his own growth. The only thing that changed for him was any news of Inuyasha, or of Miroku or Sango.
Nothing else.
//And you could be someone
You can be my scene
You know that I'll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what you're doing
Imagine where you are
There's oceans in-between us
But that's not very far\\
Inuyasha panted heavily in the rain as he landed on a branch of a thick, tall tree. His golden eyes narrowed, heavily veined in red, peered through the rain at the innocent little village he had sworn never to see again. Sworn, but knew he would never be able to keep the promise. The one person who would be able to help him still resided in the village, after all these years.
And he needed him now.
A swift descent and run across the fields, he easily passed between the youkai barriers that hadn't been changed in all the years. They were laughably easy to get through, though not even a twitch of the lips passed through his expression as he followed his nose to one house in particular. One which he knew very well.
Shippou was on his feet before he even knew he was moving, the last vestiges of sleep leaving him alert as his nose twitched. Thet smell... His eyes widened. That smell...!
Movement in the dark corner of the house, made him slowly turn, his still youthful features twisted in a snarl, his eyes narrowed. "You..."
A pause, and Inuyasha stepped out of the shadows, his white hair dull in the moonlight, and his blood-veined eyes landed on Shippou. He had the grace to have at least a bit of shame in his golden irises. "Yeah... me." he confirmed in a hoarse voice.
Shippou's tail snapped, hands clenching into claws and he snarled. "You... you /fucking BASTARD!!" /and he rushed the hanyou. Inuyasha stood still, letting the youkai's fist connect solidly with his face. The force of Shippou's rage sent him through the wall of the house and clear across a field before he landed hard on the ground, skidding in a muddy mess. Shippou appeared next to him as the hanyou was fishing around in his mouth for the molar that had been knocked out. The kitsune was cracking his knuckles, much of the anger having been erased from his face, though his mouth was still turned down in a hard frown.
"That." He declared as Inuyasha flicked away the unfortunate tooth, spitting some blood out with it. "Was for making Kagome leave. And /this/-" he landed a solid kick in his stomach, making him curl over and wheeze, having not expected that one. "Is for leaving, you bastard. Now get up and tell me why the fuck you're back here."
Inuyasha managed a little laugh, accepting the boy's offered hand to get up. "You've been taking lessons from me, I see."
The kitsune's eyes softened to sadness. "Memories are all I had left." He said softly, looking away as Inuyasha tried to get some of the mud off of his clothes. "That and hating you. But I couldn't even do that properly; I missed you too much."
Even in the years he'd been gone, Inuyasha hadn't learnt much about comforting or compassion. But he placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, the boy who had grown to be almost his own height in the time he'd been gone. He smiled ruefully. Always his feelings towards the boy had been like that of an older brother. He was actually sad that he'd missed the youkai growing up. He was sad about a lot of things. And ashamed of even more.
"I'm... sorry..." he said. "I don't know if you'll ever believe me now... but I'm sorry."
Shippou sniffed, his hair hiding his face, and he roughly scrubbed a hand over his eyes. then he looked up, a wide, almost painful smile on his face, but he looked happy. "You're an idiot."
//Everyone is changing
There's no-one left that's real
So make up your ending
And let me know just how you feel\\
Shippou left the next day. He at least had the conscience to tell the villagers, whom he had grown very fond of, that he was leaving and to pass his regards on to Miroku and Sango if they ever passed by. Letter correspondence told of Sango's pregnancy, which meant travel would be a bad idea for a while. Shippou didn't tell anyone the real meaning of his leaving; Inuyasha had adamantly refused to go back into the village, and said that he would be waiting by the well. After bidding everyone goodbye, Shippou had run as fast as he could to the well, frightened that the hanyou would leave him behind again. But no. He was there, standing and staring at the well with an unreadable expression on his face. His hand was clenched around something.
The young youkai paused and stared at him. While his appearance itself hadn't changed much, there was something in his posture, his attitude, and above all just the way he felt which had changed almost beyond recognition. It was a change into someone who was facing their last chance, their last possible choice. The last thing to be done in a long line of things that should never have been done.
Inuyasha sighed.
"Lets go."
Shippou nodded, jumping after the hanyou. Most of all though, the biggest change, was the lack of tessaiga at Inuyasha's side.
//Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me\\
It was crazy, it was insane, it was never going to work, and Shippou had no choice in the matter.
It was Inuyasha; he must've completely lost it while away. He was actually going to do it! It was the only way, he said, the reason why he himself was there.
Shippou was the last resort, the last one Inuyasha trusted with this.
The plan? Well, it was actually simple. It was the consequence of it that was going to have some seriously bad effects.
Inuyasha had somehow collected almost every single one of the shards to the Shikon no Tama. Shippou wasn't allowed to ask how, but the rumors he had heard told him that it was a long and messy trail of carnage and less than savory acts. The hanyou had learned of the last cache of shards; they were being horded by a veritable army of oni.
"O-o-o-/oni??" Shippou had squeaked in terror when he had heard this. One did /not mess with true oni. And these were the hells-gates oni. Shippou wanted to curl up in a corner and cry at the very idea of having to face a horde of oni.
"Yes, oni." Inuyasha snapped. "Don't worry, you wont have to deal with them. You'll have to deal with something much worse." And he grinned a terrifying grin.
Shippou gulped. "I'm pretty sure I don't want to know."
The hanyou barked a mirthless laugh. He reached into his hitoe, tossing something to Shippou. The kitsune caught it, looking down at the little bag and gaped. "Th-the shards? Why...?"
Inuyasha stared into the fire. "After I get the shards from the oni, only one shard will be missing. It will be complete. You need to keep these ones to keep them safe."
"Who will have the last shard?" '/I'm definitely sure I don't want to know/...'
Inuyasha's smiled became one that sent chill's down the boy's spine and he lifted his head to stare at him with red ringed gold eyes. "I will."
Eyes widen. "But-!"
"It's the only way!" Inuyasha roared in a way that made one know that he hated the idea, but it was truly the only way. "With the shard I'll be able to beat them! You're here because... because you're the only one I trust enough and who might be strong enough to take the shard away from me... in case..." and Shippou gulped.
He knew. In case Inuyasha lost himself with the shard. Shippou was definitely not looking forwards to having to fight with a shard enhanced fully youkai Inuyasha.
//'Cos I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumbled then I crawled\\
The smell was terrible. Honoring Inuyasha's advice, Shippou had waited for about an hour after the screams had stopped, then braved the battlefield. Huge blue and red bodies littered the entranceway to the cave, blood soaked the ground and dropped weapons, and the youkai retched for only a moment before darting into the cavern.
It was even worse inside. Steeling himself against the wave of heat and the stench of the bodies - which hadn't even begun decomposing, oni just smelled that bad - he raced along the tunnels that took him deep into the oni territory. He carefully minded the fact that he didn't want to look at the actual bodies, and had even wrapped cloth around his paws so he wouldn't have to step on them.
Finally smelling Inuyasha's scent - a very difficult task with the strong odors covering it, Shippou stopped - leaning against the cave wall, taking a breath and peering around the corner into the main cavern.
There stood Inuyasha. Even more bodies littered the ground around him. His hakama had been ripped to near shreds, his hitoe and kosode were completely gone, and his hair had been jaggedly cut off shortly around his neck. Deep wounds mingled with smaller ones along almost every inch of his skin, but even as Shippou watched the wounds began to mend themselves with the power of the shard. He gulped. He couldn't see Inuyasha's face from here, but there was no doubt that he had entered into his youkai form; that much was certain from the power emanating from him.
Shippou almost whimpered, turning back around and taking another, deeper breath, then leapt out into the cave. He yelped as he saw that Inuyasha was there, looking down at him with his terrifying red and purple eyes, his thick stripes framing a snarling face. Shippou yelled and didn't even think as his hands flashed out to Inuyasha's chest sinking in and grabbing the shard that was there. Inuyasha had told him exactly where he was putting it since he couldn't see where it was.
A brief flash of light and Shippou was thrown against the wall from Inuyasha's hand. His head connected sharply with the wall and pain welled up there, bringing tears to his eyes as he fell to the ground in a trembling crouch. Opening blue eyes he looked down at his hand, uncurling it to see the little shard there.
His head snapped up as Inuyasha slumped down to his knees, trembling as his youkai blood retreated. With a pained groan he fell over sideways, though his continued vehement protests told Shippou that he was fine.
There was silence for a while, and Shippou stared at the still form of Inuyasha. His eyes slid once to the podium in the center of the cave, where the last shards to the Shikon glinted innocently, nothing to guard them anymore. Nothing to keep them from them. The last shards to the Shikon were within just a couple yards from their feet. A sort of hysteria overtook Shippou. He began to laugh. Great, painful laughs that sent tears streaming from his eyes and made his stomach heave. He managed to gasped out; "T-that wasn't s-so hard!"
A long growl emanated from Inuyasha. "Come here so I can hit you again..."
//And you could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I will save you
From all of the unclean\\
[[+++]]
A bird sang innocently outside the window, Inuyasha's ear swiveling to listen to the tune and finding it somehow familiar. Absently his hand ran over the thick scar in the middle of his chest, remembering it and the actions of it. His hand clenched in memory, clear eyes narrowing, a shift of red at the corners appearing, before a muffled protest from beside him immediately cleared them.
Kagome's stormy eyes peered up at him in sleep. They blinked as through reassured and then closed, arms tightening around him and she fell fully back into sleep, a small smile on her lips.
Inuyasha looked at her as though in bewilderment, wondering what he could have done to deserve this; this human girl - no, woman now - who made him want nothing else in the world but at the same time made him feel dirty, disgusting, and unworthy. His taint was unworthy.
And yet...
He smiled a little. The first smile in such a long time that his facial muscles had almost forgotten how to do it. He close his eyes and nuzzled his nose into her hair, wrapping his arms back around her.
He knew that he would never be able to keep his story from her. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he never told her. He didn't want her pity, nor for her to feel either obligated to like him or feel sorry for him for his actions. He knew that he did it all because he loved her. At the time he hadn't even cared if she loved him anymore, or if she ever had. He apparently had this problem with loving women so completely that he did awfully stupid things for them.
No, he didn't care about that anymore. What mattered right now was her in his arms, and him in hers, and that he still loved her.
And she still loved him.
//This pain you give to me
You take it all
You take it all away
Explain again to me
You take it all away
Explain again to me
Take it all away
Explain again\\
[[END]]
+
+
+
So some of you are probably wondering: So, where the hell is Myouga? Honestly, I completely forgot him until halfway through, when there was no chance of him making an appearance anymore... Sorry for being a flake...
Hitoe and Kosode; the actual names for Inuyasha's coat and inner shirt respectively.
I realize that this is a little weird, since this is supposed to be Inuyasha's flashback but it's written from Shippou's POV... This wasn't intentional, it sort of just ended up writing itself like that. I couldn't control it. And honestly, I only noticed that little inconsistence after I had written it... ah well.
By Tryster/Cyfris
Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha; that's all Rumiko Takahashi's genius. This is an AU for the most part, it really doesn't follow the storyline at all, but it's not a complete AU.
The song is 'Blurry' from Puddle of Mud. I screw around with the lyrics a bit, sorry about this. Another song that I found really fit this story is 'Boys Don't Cry' by Plumb
IMPORTANT NOTE!! So this is the long awaited sequel to Stay! Trust me, it's very long awaited considering how long Stay has been floating around the net (we're talking years here). You will want to have read Stay already, or else things will probably be confusing!
This story is almost entirely a flashback. It starts after the first break (these: [[+++]] ) and ends after the next set of those. In 'Stay' I said that it had been five years since Kagome left, but here it's ten years. Why? Well, I'm taking privileges as far as time-travel loopholes go. That, and I recall the manga mentioning that time travels differently between the past and the present.
WARNINGS!! Immense fluff and sap, AU, mild angst and mentions of blood, gore, and violence. Inuyasha/Kagome, implied Sango/Miroku. Best if you have read Stay first, but I guess you really don't have to.
//Song lyrics\\
'Thoughts/Internal musings'
++++
Inuyasha awoke with a start, wild golden eyes darting side to side. Not recognizing where he was, he tried to sit up, only to find himself held down by something... warm? Looking down, he started to find a silken mass of dark hair spread out on the pillow and pale arms wrapped around his waist.
...Kagome??
//Everything's so blurry
And everyone's so fake
And everybody's empty
And everything is so messed up\\
As if in answer, the dark haired girl sighed in her sleep, pulling herself closer to the hanyou. Inuyasha lay down again, a small smile tugging at his lips as the memories of the night before came back to him.
His smile was slowly replaced by a frown. 'That's right, I came back... to give her the shards, nothing more. I just wanted to see her again. But when I saw her walking there... gods, she was so beautiful. I couldn't help myself, I just had to hold her, feel her again.
But how can I stay here? She's so innocent, and I....
I don't deserve someone like her...'
[[+++]]
When Inuyasha came back out of the well, alone and without Kagome, the rest of the group thought nothing of it at first. They didn't realize that Inuyasha, instead of sulking alone like he usually did after the two of them had a squabble, was deeply sad and even more anti-social than normal. Sango, Miroku, and Shippou simply waited around in the village like all the other times, waiting for Kagome to come back.
But she didn't. As more and more days passed without any sign of the girl, the humans and the youkai-child became worried. It was Shippou who finally confronted Inuyasha. Going out into the forest, the child sniffed out the inu hanyou, following days old trails before finding that the fresh trails didn't move much. The kitsune found him sitting at a pool of water, up on a small cliff looking over it. Inuyasha's ears were drooped, his body was hunched and seeming curled into itself for protection. Shippou could smell salt in the air, but assumed that it was the sulfur spring below them.
One of Inuyasha's furry white ears swiveled around slowly to point back at the kit, and the hanyou sighed tiredly. "What do you want, Shippou?"
Shippou's tail bushed in surprise and worry. Not only had Inuyasha casually addressed him by his actual /name/, but there was no anger or haughtiness in his voice. He sounded... exhausted. The kit gulped down the tirade he had been going to unleash on the hanyou, assuming he had done something to Kagome again, and instead walked slowly up behind the red-clad hanyou. Still he did not turn, and Shippou awkwardly asked. "Umm... Inuyasha, are you ok?"
The hanyou snorted as though it were a stupid question. "No, I'm fine. I've just been out here by myself for days because I'm happy and I have nothing else to DO!" he almost yelled, the sarcasm in his voice harsh and painful.
Shippou's tail drooped and he wrung his hands together, wondering whether it was wise to ask about Kagome or not. Finally he spoke up in a soft voice "Because... you see, Kagome hasn't come back yet, and I, well, we were wondering if something... happened... to..." Shippou broke off, terror filling his face. Inuyasha had started to shake, and for a split second Shippou thought that the hanyou was shaking in rage, but he soon realized that the salt on the air wasn't from the spring below. Inuyasha was /crying/. Shippou didn't know which was scarier, an angry hanyou, or a severely sad one.
Shippou's ears twitched up "...What?" Inuyasha had said something, so muffled that even Shippou's youkai hearing couldn't pick it up.
Inuyasha whirled around, standing up and whole body tense with rage and sadness. Tear streaks ran down his face from fierce golden eyes and he roared "I SAID SHE'S NOT COMING BACK!! GOD/DAMN/ IT!!!" and he disappeared, moving down the cliff and jumping across the spring's water so fast a wake was left behind him and he disappeared into the forest, curses echoing into the dense trees.
//Preoccupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumbled and I crawled\\
Shippou sat curled up in Sango's lap, the human stroking his tail comfortingly as the kit sniffled, tears falling silently to land on her damp arm. Sango's face was firmly set, but her eyes were moist as she struggled to stay strong for the emotional kit. Miroku and Kaede were in similar states as they both took watch on the porch, watching and waiting for any sign of their hanyou friend, but he didn't come. None of them had yet realized that he was planning on never coming back.
Months later Miroku and Sango finally realized that they couldn't stay in the village anymore, and that Inuyasha wasn't coming back. They had heard rumors of a white-haired youkai that had suddenly become very active north of them, and more rumors that shikon shards were appearing and then disappearing rapidly, but Inuyasha's name wasn't mentioned in the rumors, and so the monk and youkai hunter didn't know whether to follow the words or not. They finally concluded that they wouldn't; there was little point now. Still in a muddle of depression, the two left, hand in hand.
Shippou remained, his desperate need and desire for family keeping him in the village. The loss of the only people who he had thought he would never loose had devastated him. While he had thought that he would go with Miroku and Sango, he hadn't. Instead he stayed with Kaede, who was more than happy to let him live with her.
Long years passed. The rumors of the white-haired demon lessened to be replaced with ones of Inuyasha, which kept Shippou alert for any ounce of news from the outside world. His youkai memory was long and strong, and when a decade passed he hardly noticed save for the death of Kaede and his own growth. The only thing that changed for him was any news of Inuyasha, or of Miroku or Sango.
Nothing else.
//And you could be someone
You can be my scene
You know that I'll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what you're doing
Imagine where you are
There's oceans in-between us
But that's not very far\\
Inuyasha panted heavily in the rain as he landed on a branch of a thick, tall tree. His golden eyes narrowed, heavily veined in red, peered through the rain at the innocent little village he had sworn never to see again. Sworn, but knew he would never be able to keep the promise. The one person who would be able to help him still resided in the village, after all these years.
And he needed him now.
A swift descent and run across the fields, he easily passed between the youkai barriers that hadn't been changed in all the years. They were laughably easy to get through, though not even a twitch of the lips passed through his expression as he followed his nose to one house in particular. One which he knew very well.
Shippou was on his feet before he even knew he was moving, the last vestiges of sleep leaving him alert as his nose twitched. Thet smell... His eyes widened. That smell...!
Movement in the dark corner of the house, made him slowly turn, his still youthful features twisted in a snarl, his eyes narrowed. "You..."
A pause, and Inuyasha stepped out of the shadows, his white hair dull in the moonlight, and his blood-veined eyes landed on Shippou. He had the grace to have at least a bit of shame in his golden irises. "Yeah... me." he confirmed in a hoarse voice.
Shippou's tail snapped, hands clenching into claws and he snarled. "You... you /fucking BASTARD!!" /and he rushed the hanyou. Inuyasha stood still, letting the youkai's fist connect solidly with his face. The force of Shippou's rage sent him through the wall of the house and clear across a field before he landed hard on the ground, skidding in a muddy mess. Shippou appeared next to him as the hanyou was fishing around in his mouth for the molar that had been knocked out. The kitsune was cracking his knuckles, much of the anger having been erased from his face, though his mouth was still turned down in a hard frown.
"That." He declared as Inuyasha flicked away the unfortunate tooth, spitting some blood out with it. "Was for making Kagome leave. And /this/-" he landed a solid kick in his stomach, making him curl over and wheeze, having not expected that one. "Is for leaving, you bastard. Now get up and tell me why the fuck you're back here."
Inuyasha managed a little laugh, accepting the boy's offered hand to get up. "You've been taking lessons from me, I see."
The kitsune's eyes softened to sadness. "Memories are all I had left." He said softly, looking away as Inuyasha tried to get some of the mud off of his clothes. "That and hating you. But I couldn't even do that properly; I missed you too much."
Even in the years he'd been gone, Inuyasha hadn't learnt much about comforting or compassion. But he placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, the boy who had grown to be almost his own height in the time he'd been gone. He smiled ruefully. Always his feelings towards the boy had been like that of an older brother. He was actually sad that he'd missed the youkai growing up. He was sad about a lot of things. And ashamed of even more.
"I'm... sorry..." he said. "I don't know if you'll ever believe me now... but I'm sorry."
Shippou sniffed, his hair hiding his face, and he roughly scrubbed a hand over his eyes. then he looked up, a wide, almost painful smile on his face, but he looked happy. "You're an idiot."
//Everyone is changing
There's no-one left that's real
So make up your ending
And let me know just how you feel\\
Shippou left the next day. He at least had the conscience to tell the villagers, whom he had grown very fond of, that he was leaving and to pass his regards on to Miroku and Sango if they ever passed by. Letter correspondence told of Sango's pregnancy, which meant travel would be a bad idea for a while. Shippou didn't tell anyone the real meaning of his leaving; Inuyasha had adamantly refused to go back into the village, and said that he would be waiting by the well. After bidding everyone goodbye, Shippou had run as fast as he could to the well, frightened that the hanyou would leave him behind again. But no. He was there, standing and staring at the well with an unreadable expression on his face. His hand was clenched around something.
The young youkai paused and stared at him. While his appearance itself hadn't changed much, there was something in his posture, his attitude, and above all just the way he felt which had changed almost beyond recognition. It was a change into someone who was facing their last chance, their last possible choice. The last thing to be done in a long line of things that should never have been done.
Inuyasha sighed.
"Lets go."
Shippou nodded, jumping after the hanyou. Most of all though, the biggest change, was the lack of tessaiga at Inuyasha's side.
//Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me\\
It was crazy, it was insane, it was never going to work, and Shippou had no choice in the matter.
It was Inuyasha; he must've completely lost it while away. He was actually going to do it! It was the only way, he said, the reason why he himself was there.
Shippou was the last resort, the last one Inuyasha trusted with this.
The plan? Well, it was actually simple. It was the consequence of it that was going to have some seriously bad effects.
Inuyasha had somehow collected almost every single one of the shards to the Shikon no Tama. Shippou wasn't allowed to ask how, but the rumors he had heard told him that it was a long and messy trail of carnage and less than savory acts. The hanyou had learned of the last cache of shards; they were being horded by a veritable army of oni.
"O-o-o-/oni??" Shippou had squeaked in terror when he had heard this. One did /not mess with true oni. And these were the hells-gates oni. Shippou wanted to curl up in a corner and cry at the very idea of having to face a horde of oni.
"Yes, oni." Inuyasha snapped. "Don't worry, you wont have to deal with them. You'll have to deal with something much worse." And he grinned a terrifying grin.
Shippou gulped. "I'm pretty sure I don't want to know."
The hanyou barked a mirthless laugh. He reached into his hitoe, tossing something to Shippou. The kitsune caught it, looking down at the little bag and gaped. "Th-the shards? Why...?"
Inuyasha stared into the fire. "After I get the shards from the oni, only one shard will be missing. It will be complete. You need to keep these ones to keep them safe."
"Who will have the last shard?" '/I'm definitely sure I don't want to know/...'
Inuyasha's smiled became one that sent chill's down the boy's spine and he lifted his head to stare at him with red ringed gold eyes. "I will."
Eyes widen. "But-!"
"It's the only way!" Inuyasha roared in a way that made one know that he hated the idea, but it was truly the only way. "With the shard I'll be able to beat them! You're here because... because you're the only one I trust enough and who might be strong enough to take the shard away from me... in case..." and Shippou gulped.
He knew. In case Inuyasha lost himself with the shard. Shippou was definitely not looking forwards to having to fight with a shard enhanced fully youkai Inuyasha.
//'Cos I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumbled then I crawled\\
The smell was terrible. Honoring Inuyasha's advice, Shippou had waited for about an hour after the screams had stopped, then braved the battlefield. Huge blue and red bodies littered the entranceway to the cave, blood soaked the ground and dropped weapons, and the youkai retched for only a moment before darting into the cavern.
It was even worse inside. Steeling himself against the wave of heat and the stench of the bodies - which hadn't even begun decomposing, oni just smelled that bad - he raced along the tunnels that took him deep into the oni territory. He carefully minded the fact that he didn't want to look at the actual bodies, and had even wrapped cloth around his paws so he wouldn't have to step on them.
Finally smelling Inuyasha's scent - a very difficult task with the strong odors covering it, Shippou stopped - leaning against the cave wall, taking a breath and peering around the corner into the main cavern.
There stood Inuyasha. Even more bodies littered the ground around him. His hakama had been ripped to near shreds, his hitoe and kosode were completely gone, and his hair had been jaggedly cut off shortly around his neck. Deep wounds mingled with smaller ones along almost every inch of his skin, but even as Shippou watched the wounds began to mend themselves with the power of the shard. He gulped. He couldn't see Inuyasha's face from here, but there was no doubt that he had entered into his youkai form; that much was certain from the power emanating from him.
Shippou almost whimpered, turning back around and taking another, deeper breath, then leapt out into the cave. He yelped as he saw that Inuyasha was there, looking down at him with his terrifying red and purple eyes, his thick stripes framing a snarling face. Shippou yelled and didn't even think as his hands flashed out to Inuyasha's chest sinking in and grabbing the shard that was there. Inuyasha had told him exactly where he was putting it since he couldn't see where it was.
A brief flash of light and Shippou was thrown against the wall from Inuyasha's hand. His head connected sharply with the wall and pain welled up there, bringing tears to his eyes as he fell to the ground in a trembling crouch. Opening blue eyes he looked down at his hand, uncurling it to see the little shard there.
His head snapped up as Inuyasha slumped down to his knees, trembling as his youkai blood retreated. With a pained groan he fell over sideways, though his continued vehement protests told Shippou that he was fine.
There was silence for a while, and Shippou stared at the still form of Inuyasha. His eyes slid once to the podium in the center of the cave, where the last shards to the Shikon glinted innocently, nothing to guard them anymore. Nothing to keep them from them. The last shards to the Shikon were within just a couple yards from their feet. A sort of hysteria overtook Shippou. He began to laugh. Great, painful laughs that sent tears streaming from his eyes and made his stomach heave. He managed to gasped out; "T-that wasn't s-so hard!"
A long growl emanated from Inuyasha. "Come here so I can hit you again..."
//And you could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I will save you
From all of the unclean\\
[[+++]]
A bird sang innocently outside the window, Inuyasha's ear swiveling to listen to the tune and finding it somehow familiar. Absently his hand ran over the thick scar in the middle of his chest, remembering it and the actions of it. His hand clenched in memory, clear eyes narrowing, a shift of red at the corners appearing, before a muffled protest from beside him immediately cleared them.
Kagome's stormy eyes peered up at him in sleep. They blinked as through reassured and then closed, arms tightening around him and she fell fully back into sleep, a small smile on her lips.
Inuyasha looked at her as though in bewilderment, wondering what he could have done to deserve this; this human girl - no, woman now - who made him want nothing else in the world but at the same time made him feel dirty, disgusting, and unworthy. His taint was unworthy.
And yet...
He smiled a little. The first smile in such a long time that his facial muscles had almost forgotten how to do it. He close his eyes and nuzzled his nose into her hair, wrapping his arms back around her.
He knew that he would never be able to keep his story from her. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he never told her. He didn't want her pity, nor for her to feel either obligated to like him or feel sorry for him for his actions. He knew that he did it all because he loved her. At the time he hadn't even cared if she loved him anymore, or if she ever had. He apparently had this problem with loving women so completely that he did awfully stupid things for them.
No, he didn't care about that anymore. What mattered right now was her in his arms, and him in hers, and that he still loved her.
And she still loved him.
//This pain you give to me
You take it all
You take it all away
Explain again to me
You take it all away
Explain again to me
Take it all away
Explain again\\
[[END]]
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So some of you are probably wondering: So, where the hell is Myouga? Honestly, I completely forgot him until halfway through, when there was no chance of him making an appearance anymore... Sorry for being a flake...
Hitoe and Kosode; the actual names for Inuyasha's coat and inner shirt respectively.
I realize that this is a little weird, since this is supposed to be Inuyasha's flashback but it's written from Shippou's POV... This wasn't intentional, it sort of just ended up writing itself like that. I couldn't control it. And honestly, I only noticed that little inconsistence after I had written it... ah well.
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