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"Isn't that convenient, because it just so happens that I have a plan!" CeCe exclaimed, pointing a finger up in the air dramatically.

"Really," Katy replied, becoming increasingly aware that American plans never turned out the way they were supposed to.

"What? You don't sound very excited," CeCe pointed out.

"Well, it's just... Has anyone noticed our plans don't work?"

The other members of the DoJ gasped.

Katy immediately took back what she said. "Never mind. Forget I said anything. What's your plan?"

"Do you have a better idea?" CeCe asked, insulted.

Sarah, who was busy feeding Patrick Oreos, looked up. "Will you stop fighting? Charlie's in there somewhere! And, may I remind you, the world's safety is at stake!"

CeCe and Katy looked slightly ashamed. "Sorry," they both mumbled.

"How 'bout we try CeCe's plan, and if that doesn't work, we'll try something else," Crystal suggested.

"Jeez Pete, when's the last time you ate?" Pete, who was actually Joe at the moment, complained, interrupting.

"What do we do with the other three?" Emma asked.

"Well," Kyle started, "since it was Alex's fault that they're like this to begin with, we'll just leave them with you and her." She decided that Emma was the only other person qualified for this certain problem because, hey, she's likes Spam. "We'll just take the Biscuit into Sarah's bedroom and..."

CeCe cut her off. "Try my plan?"

"Yes," Kyle said, looking around nervously. "What do you think I was going to say?"

"I wouldn't be totally against that plan..." Sarah admitted.

CeCe rolled her eyes, leading the way to Sarah's room as the rest of the girls followed her, dragging the Hatrack with them.

Alex and Emma looked at each other, then looked at the other Boyz.

"Andy, Joe's touching me!" Andy, who was actually Pete, whined.

"What the hell's going on?" Joe, who was Andy, asked.

"Alex, fix this," Emma said bluntly.

Alex looked at her mistress with an annoyed look on her face. "I don't know how to fix this! This has never happened before!"

"You mean I'll be stuck in this caveman-like body forever!" Andy, still Pete, blurted.

"Dude! I'm going to be the hot one now!" Pete (Joe) cheered.

"Will you all shut up?" Emma snapped at them. She turned to Alex. "Can't you just put them into another trance?"

"I guess," Alex replied with a shrug. She put her arm out in front of Emma. "Stand back," she warned as her hair went to work.

Meanwhile, the other, and slightly more pretty, members of the DoJ were huddled over a wide-eyed Patrick, who was wondering what wonderful thing he did to deserve four beautiful women huddling over him.

"Okay CeCe, what's your plan?" Crystal asked.

CeCe pulled out a giant and rusty looking saw.

The other girls looked at her distastefully.

CeCe slowly put it down, a sheepish look on her face. "It's the most obvious thing we could do!" she tried to explain.

"Let's try to go about this logically," Sarah said, letting her logic side get in the way. "Let's try my plan," she said, looking at Patrick hungrily.

"This is what Coldplay..." Katy started.

"Nickelback," the other girls corrected.

"Nickelback, sorry. This is exactly what Nickelback wants! Our fighting is tearing us apart!"

"Oh my God. You're right!" CeCe exclaimed.

The four girls quickly gathered around and gave each other a group hug.

"Okay girls. We have to work together," Sarah said. "What's exactly the problem here?"

"Charlie is stuck on this Biscuit's large, but lovely, head," Katy said, biting the inside of her bottom lip and folding her arms over her chest.

"I got it!" Crystal yelled, making her three counterparts practically jump out of her skin. "Big head syndrome! Gah! I thought only Donald Trump was capable of developing it!"

"Patrick! What are you doing?" Kyle asked, snatching a pair of headphones from his head. She put them on, Sarah leaning in to also listen. Suddenly, she tore them off. "Oh, those... those..."

"Bastards?" Crystal helped innocently, Patrick's headphones and iPod that it was attached to frizzling and smoking.

"Hey," Patrick frowned, looking mournfully at his dead electronics.

"What is it?" CeCe asked.

"Nickelback! They're everywhere! And worse, they were poisoning our Biscuit's mind!" Sarah explained, hysterical. "Telling him..."

"Telling him what?" CeCe asked gently.

"Telling him that he must," she took a deep breath, "he must join forces with them!"

Katy rubbed Sarah's arm reassuringly, "Don't worry. He's with us now. He's safe."

"Oh, it makes my skin crawl," CeCe admitted, shivering.

"The big head syndrome!" Crystal yelled again. "It's Nickelback's fault!"

"How'd you come to that conclusion?" Kyle asked.

"It's Nickelback!" she empathized.

The other girls just stared at her, not following.

"Oh come on! This whole thing is their fault to begin with!"

"Oh."

"How do we cure big head syndrome?" Sarah asked. Again with that logic...

"Simple. We just have to treat him as badly as we treat each other. The swelling should go down in a couple hours."

Meanwhile, Alex was just finishing up her trance inducing hair dance. She stopped, "Okay Emma. Now what?" She looked at Emma who was slumped on the floor, drooling slightly. She shut her eyes and said a couple choice German words under her breath. "Damn it, Freak! You're supposed to be immune to that!"

As if on cue, Emma woke up. She looked around incoherently, then studied herself. "Dude!" she finally exclaimed. "I'm a chick now!" She thought about it and concluded, nodding knowingly, "I can see myself naked!"

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Joe?"

Pete woke up and glared at Alex. "Alex!"

"Damn!" Alex exclaimed again, wondering how, in everything that could've happened, her mistress ended up as Pete. She sighed as her hair started dancing. "Let's try this again."

~~~~
* Thanks to my Alex for the title. ;)