Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Pete and the Ugly Ass Gay Pride Robe
Part Two... Sort of.
5 reviewsThe story continues in Chicago where we find our heros waiting in line for a Play Station. There, they meet two strange girls, a couple Rejects, pot heads and other random people.
0Funny
In line to get the new PS3, Fall Out Boy were anxiously awaiting the moment when they could finally get their hands on one.
"What I want to know is why we came five days early, and we're still 103rd in line..." Pete complained.
"What I want to know is why we're waiting in line for a game when we should be in the studio trying to get our new album edited," Patrick admitted. He was hunched over his laptop, not even looking up to make eye contact with his partner.
Pete grabbed Patrick and pulled him up. "Andy, Joe. You stay here and hold this spot. Me and Trick are going to go up to the front of the line and see what it's going to take to be first."
Joe and Andy looked at each other, then back at their leader. "Good luck."
Pete took Patrick by the back of his shirt and drug him the two blocks to the front of the line. Expecting to see a couple white and nerdy computer geeks in the front of the line, they were surprised to see an old, cardboard box, clearly labeled "Emma and Steph's Box."
"What the hell?" Pete asked.
A girl, she looked like she was about 15, crawled out of the box, "Hey! Get away from our box gamer geek!"
Pete didn't seem too phased, as he decided that this girl was in line and he wanted her spot. "Hey, can we have your place in line if we buy you a PS3?"
The girl looked up at him as if he'd gone crazy. "We're not in line. This is where me and Emma live."
"Steph, what's going on?" another girl, Pete was guessing was Emma, crawled out.
"Just another gamer wanting our living space."
"Oh."
"You sure you don't want a PS3? We'll get you whatever you want," Pete tried again.
"Anything?" Steph and Emma said together, eyeing Patrick's laptop.
"Sure."
"Okay, you give us the laptop, your soul and your lead guitarist and you can wait in our box until the PS3 goes on sale."
"De..."
Patrick stopped him. "No fucking way."
Emma looked at Steph. "Patrick Stump's capable of swearing? Wow, you learn something every day."
"Men, we've made our demands. Good day," Steph said, slipping back into the box.
"Green Day?" Billie Joe, who apparently appeared out of nowhere, asked.
Pete and Patrick looked at him. "Where'd you come from?"
"Uh, four boxes down, microwave box with Hooters written on it?" Billie replied. He knocked on the top of the girl's box. "Hey Em, we need to talk."
"Shut it, Bilhelm. I'm still mad at you and Snoop Dogg for getting us kicked out of our house," Emma snapped.
"Will you let it go? That was, what, three months ago?"
"So?"
"Well, can you at least let me into you and Steph's box? I'm tired of people coming up to me and asking for chicken wings."
"Nope, sorry."
"Fo shizzle my nizzle. I'm sick a these pizzles asking for wingizzles," said Snoop, sticking his head out of the Hooters box.
"I hear you," Billie replied, pounding his fist into his chest. "I'll be back in a sec, bro."
"Go sell pot with your boyfriend," Emma snapped.
Billie frowned and stalked back to his box.
Emma rolled her eyes and started to crawl back into her own box.
"Wait!" Pete blurted. He shifted his eyes nervously. "Are you sure you don't want us to buy you a PS3 instead?"
"Laptop, Joe and soul!" Stoop yelled from inside.
"De..."
"No!"
Early the next morning
Pete and Patrick were still waiting by Emma and Steph's box, hoping that the two girls would let them have their place in line. Suddenly a Tyson Ritter, wearing bright orange footie pajamas with a bunny on the chest and clutching a blanket, came up leading his band mate, and partner, Nick Wheeler. He knocked on the box and smiled when Emma crawled out. Play Station
"What do you want?" she asked, slightly annoyed.
"Can Nick use your bathroom?"
She sighed. "Sure," and moved over so he could get in.
Nick grinned and crawled in.
"Hey! How come he gets to go in?" Pete pointed out.
"Nick already gave us his soul."
"Yes, he's number 133," Steph admitted.
Patrick looked at Tyson. "How could you let Nick sell his soul?"
"He said he'd sell his soul for some hot wings, and these girls had 'em," he explained, putting a bottle wrapped in a paper bag to his lips and throwing back a swig.
Pete frowned. "How'd you guys get all the way up here?"
"We've been here about," he looked at his watch, "a week. I think we should've brought a tent or something. Oh well."
Because Tyson was plagued by inconvenient irony, it started raining.
"Oh no! My hair!" Pete screamed, covering his head with his arms.
"What do we have to do for you to let us in?" asked Patrick, as he watched Tyson walk in.
"Laptop, Joe and soul!" Steph and Emma shouted at the same time, then shut the doors on them, leaving them in the rain once more.
"De-" Pete started before Patrick interrupted.
"No! I need my laptop for the CD!" Patrick whined.
"But, my emolicious hair! It's falling! The fans can't see me like this! EMMA! STEPH! ITS A DE-" Pete began to shout.
"No! I don't want to give up my laptop! And you need your soul," Patrick said to Pete, trying to reason with him.
"No, I want to be inside with my can of hair spray! DEA-"
"Can't we compromise?" said Patrick to Steph and Emma, who were standing in the doorway, wondering what the shouting was about.
"We have a recording studio in here," said Emma in a taunting manner.
"State of the art too. Makes Bill Gates's look like a karaoke machine," added Steph.
"DEAL!" shouted Patrick. They headed inside and looked around, shocked that such a little box could be so big.
"There's the recording studio and editing room," pointed out Emma.
Patrick proceeded to run over to it and begins humping, he's so in love. They all look at him strangely.
"So, where's your bathroom? I must fix my emolicious hair before I go and buy a PS3."
"Wait. Sign here, here, here and here please," said Steph.
"Ok," said Pete as he signed away his soul.
"Where's Joe...and Andy?" asked Emma, looking for her part of the deal.
"He's...still in line..." said Patrick, suddenly remembering his other band mates.
As if on purpose, there was a knock on the door. Emma answered it, and screamed.
"ANDY! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM?!" she shouted.
"The...the...bi...bikers! They a..a..attacked me...a...and...Joe! tThey got Joe! I tried to get away, but, they tore my arm off! I think they're eating Joe right now!" Andy said, then fainted.
"What?! So, only fair, I get Andy since Joe's dead," said Emma, unaffected.
"Deal!" Pete shouted.
"What's goin' on dudes?" asked Tyson, since we've obviously forgotten about him.
"Joe's getting eaten by bikers, Andy got his arm ripped off, and Steph has Pete's soul," Billie pointed out, showing up besides him, "Isn't that obvious?"
"Oh. Yeah, it is," said Tyson.
"You guys! The PS3 goes on sale in 5 minutes!" shouted Patrick, being able to pry himself away from humping the recording equipment.
"Quick, get me to the bathroom. Must fix hair!" Pete declared.
"South wing, 2nd floor, third door on the right," replied Emma.
"There's no time! He takes 2 hours! We need to be there in 4 minutes!" said Patrick, worried.
"Our fans can't see me like this!"
"Then don't go in! Give us the money, and we'll go for you," said Emma and Steph.
"Deal," Pete agreed.
4 days later
"That must be a long check out line..." said Tyson, apparently not phased at all from the lack of mentioning Kennerty and Gaylor and the apparent fact that Nick never came back from the bathroom.
"We're back!" shouted Emma from the front of the box.
"We got two PS3s, and lots of other stuff!" Steph added.
"We wanna play!" shouted the boys.
"First, you must give us Patrick's soul," said Steph.
"Dea-" started Pete.
"Guys?! Please no! No more deals?" pleaded Patrick.
"Your soul or no PS3!" replied Steph.
Patrick grumbled, he didn't look too happy, "Deal."
They grabbed the PS3 happily and ran away, then they stopped and looked around confused.
"Hey Em?" Tyson asked. "Where do we plug this thing in?"
"West wing, 3rd floor, 4th door to the right," she called as her and Steph started to look through Patrick's laptop to see if anything was good enough to upload on the internet.
The boys were kept busy for a while until the girls heard Tyson and Billie Joe arguing with each other.
"My boobie tattoo is so much cooler then yours!" Tyson yelled.
"Nah uh!" Billie Joe yelled back.
"Shh!" Pete hushed, "I'm playing my PS3!"
"Guys," Emma said, entering the game room with Steph. "I have the best boobie tattoo," she exclaimed, pulling up her sleeve and showing everyone the word "boobie" tattooed in gothic script on her arm.
"I gave her it," Steph explained. She pulled up the leg of her pants to show off a deformed "X" scratched into her ankle. "Emma gave me this one. It's supposed to be a portrait of Jesus."
"That is so punk rock," Nick said, suddenly appearing out of nowhere. No one really noticed or cared. "Why is there a train station next to your bathroom?" he asked randomly.
"That's for Ringo. We kidnapped him after he played at WE Fest and the only way we could make him stay was to convince him that he was still the conductor at Shining Time Station," Steph explained. "We have John and George too, but they're mostly for Emma."
"But I thought John and George were dead," Andy pointed out.
"That's just the rumors we circulated so no one would ask any questions. John and George get left alone and their wives get their royalties. It works out for everyone."
"What about Paul?"
"Paul's still upset about his divorce. He's locked in some room somewhere with Dunkin' Donuts and Ben and Jerry's."
"This place blows," Billie Joe complained, draping his arms around Emma's neck. "You wanna go fuck Lennon?"
Emma rolled her eyes, "Sure, but I get him first."
"Score!" Billie cheered, quickly following Emma to the room where they kept the former Beatle.
"Tyson, we should really go find Chris and Mike," Nick admitted. "It's been days and they don't fend well on their own."
Tyson dropped his game controller, pouted and got up to follow Nick.
"See ya, Kids," Nick said, waving as they left.
"Now what do we do?" Andy asked.
"PS3," Pete said, hypnotized.
"Uh, where's that recording studio again?" Patrick asked.
Steph sighed, "Downstairs."
Patrick grinned and ran downstairs to probably have sex with the soundboard again.
Steph and Andy looked at each other.
"I know that Emma technically owns you, but would you like to ride around in the trains in our replica of Shining Time Station so Ringo can pretend to be the conductor?" Steph asked him.
Andy looked at the stub of his arm (fixed in Emma and Steph's state of the art emergency room located on the second floor of the East wing) and shrugged. Joe was dead, Patrick was making out with recording equipment and Pete was losing even more brain cells. "What the heck," he replied and followed her to the train station next to the bathroom.
The End.
"What I want to know is why we came five days early, and we're still 103rd in line..." Pete complained.
"What I want to know is why we're waiting in line for a game when we should be in the studio trying to get our new album edited," Patrick admitted. He was hunched over his laptop, not even looking up to make eye contact with his partner.
Pete grabbed Patrick and pulled him up. "Andy, Joe. You stay here and hold this spot. Me and Trick are going to go up to the front of the line and see what it's going to take to be first."
Joe and Andy looked at each other, then back at their leader. "Good luck."
Pete took Patrick by the back of his shirt and drug him the two blocks to the front of the line. Expecting to see a couple white and nerdy computer geeks in the front of the line, they were surprised to see an old, cardboard box, clearly labeled "Emma and Steph's Box."
"What the hell?" Pete asked.
A girl, she looked like she was about 15, crawled out of the box, "Hey! Get away from our box gamer geek!"
Pete didn't seem too phased, as he decided that this girl was in line and he wanted her spot. "Hey, can we have your place in line if we buy you a PS3?"
The girl looked up at him as if he'd gone crazy. "We're not in line. This is where me and Emma live."
"Steph, what's going on?" another girl, Pete was guessing was Emma, crawled out.
"Just another gamer wanting our living space."
"Oh."
"You sure you don't want a PS3? We'll get you whatever you want," Pete tried again.
"Anything?" Steph and Emma said together, eyeing Patrick's laptop.
"Sure."
"Okay, you give us the laptop, your soul and your lead guitarist and you can wait in our box until the PS3 goes on sale."
"De..."
Patrick stopped him. "No fucking way."
Emma looked at Steph. "Patrick Stump's capable of swearing? Wow, you learn something every day."
"Men, we've made our demands. Good day," Steph said, slipping back into the box.
"Green Day?" Billie Joe, who apparently appeared out of nowhere, asked.
Pete and Patrick looked at him. "Where'd you come from?"
"Uh, four boxes down, microwave box with Hooters written on it?" Billie replied. He knocked on the top of the girl's box. "Hey Em, we need to talk."
"Shut it, Bilhelm. I'm still mad at you and Snoop Dogg for getting us kicked out of our house," Emma snapped.
"Will you let it go? That was, what, three months ago?"
"So?"
"Well, can you at least let me into you and Steph's box? I'm tired of people coming up to me and asking for chicken wings."
"Nope, sorry."
"Fo shizzle my nizzle. I'm sick a these pizzles asking for wingizzles," said Snoop, sticking his head out of the Hooters box.
"I hear you," Billie replied, pounding his fist into his chest. "I'll be back in a sec, bro."
"Go sell pot with your boyfriend," Emma snapped.
Billie frowned and stalked back to his box.
Emma rolled her eyes and started to crawl back into her own box.
"Wait!" Pete blurted. He shifted his eyes nervously. "Are you sure you don't want us to buy you a PS3 instead?"
"Laptop, Joe and soul!" Stoop yelled from inside.
"De..."
"No!"
Early the next morning
Pete and Patrick were still waiting by Emma and Steph's box, hoping that the two girls would let them have their place in line. Suddenly a Tyson Ritter, wearing bright orange footie pajamas with a bunny on the chest and clutching a blanket, came up leading his band mate, and partner, Nick Wheeler. He knocked on the box and smiled when Emma crawled out. Play Station
"What do you want?" she asked, slightly annoyed.
"Can Nick use your bathroom?"
She sighed. "Sure," and moved over so he could get in.
Nick grinned and crawled in.
"Hey! How come he gets to go in?" Pete pointed out.
"Nick already gave us his soul."
"Yes, he's number 133," Steph admitted.
Patrick looked at Tyson. "How could you let Nick sell his soul?"
"He said he'd sell his soul for some hot wings, and these girls had 'em," he explained, putting a bottle wrapped in a paper bag to his lips and throwing back a swig.
Pete frowned. "How'd you guys get all the way up here?"
"We've been here about," he looked at his watch, "a week. I think we should've brought a tent or something. Oh well."
Because Tyson was plagued by inconvenient irony, it started raining.
"Oh no! My hair!" Pete screamed, covering his head with his arms.
"What do we have to do for you to let us in?" asked Patrick, as he watched Tyson walk in.
"Laptop, Joe and soul!" Steph and Emma shouted at the same time, then shut the doors on them, leaving them in the rain once more.
"De-" Pete started before Patrick interrupted.
"No! I need my laptop for the CD!" Patrick whined.
"But, my emolicious hair! It's falling! The fans can't see me like this! EMMA! STEPH! ITS A DE-" Pete began to shout.
"No! I don't want to give up my laptop! And you need your soul," Patrick said to Pete, trying to reason with him.
"No, I want to be inside with my can of hair spray! DEA-"
"Can't we compromise?" said Patrick to Steph and Emma, who were standing in the doorway, wondering what the shouting was about.
"We have a recording studio in here," said Emma in a taunting manner.
"State of the art too. Makes Bill Gates's look like a karaoke machine," added Steph.
"DEAL!" shouted Patrick. They headed inside and looked around, shocked that such a little box could be so big.
"There's the recording studio and editing room," pointed out Emma.
Patrick proceeded to run over to it and begins humping, he's so in love. They all look at him strangely.
"So, where's your bathroom? I must fix my emolicious hair before I go and buy a PS3."
"Wait. Sign here, here, here and here please," said Steph.
"Ok," said Pete as he signed away his soul.
"Where's Joe...and Andy?" asked Emma, looking for her part of the deal.
"He's...still in line..." said Patrick, suddenly remembering his other band mates.
As if on purpose, there was a knock on the door. Emma answered it, and screamed.
"ANDY! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM?!" she shouted.
"The...the...bi...bikers! They a..a..attacked me...a...and...Joe! tThey got Joe! I tried to get away, but, they tore my arm off! I think they're eating Joe right now!" Andy said, then fainted.
"What?! So, only fair, I get Andy since Joe's dead," said Emma, unaffected.
"Deal!" Pete shouted.
"What's goin' on dudes?" asked Tyson, since we've obviously forgotten about him.
"Joe's getting eaten by bikers, Andy got his arm ripped off, and Steph has Pete's soul," Billie pointed out, showing up besides him, "Isn't that obvious?"
"Oh. Yeah, it is," said Tyson.
"You guys! The PS3 goes on sale in 5 minutes!" shouted Patrick, being able to pry himself away from humping the recording equipment.
"Quick, get me to the bathroom. Must fix hair!" Pete declared.
"South wing, 2nd floor, third door on the right," replied Emma.
"There's no time! He takes 2 hours! We need to be there in 4 minutes!" said Patrick, worried.
"Our fans can't see me like this!"
"Then don't go in! Give us the money, and we'll go for you," said Emma and Steph.
"Deal," Pete agreed.
4 days later
"That must be a long check out line..." said Tyson, apparently not phased at all from the lack of mentioning Kennerty and Gaylor and the apparent fact that Nick never came back from the bathroom.
"We're back!" shouted Emma from the front of the box.
"We got two PS3s, and lots of other stuff!" Steph added.
"We wanna play!" shouted the boys.
"First, you must give us Patrick's soul," said Steph.
"Dea-" started Pete.
"Guys?! Please no! No more deals?" pleaded Patrick.
"Your soul or no PS3!" replied Steph.
Patrick grumbled, he didn't look too happy, "Deal."
They grabbed the PS3 happily and ran away, then they stopped and looked around confused.
"Hey Em?" Tyson asked. "Where do we plug this thing in?"
"West wing, 3rd floor, 4th door to the right," she called as her and Steph started to look through Patrick's laptop to see if anything was good enough to upload on the internet.
The boys were kept busy for a while until the girls heard Tyson and Billie Joe arguing with each other.
"My boobie tattoo is so much cooler then yours!" Tyson yelled.
"Nah uh!" Billie Joe yelled back.
"Shh!" Pete hushed, "I'm playing my PS3!"
"Guys," Emma said, entering the game room with Steph. "I have the best boobie tattoo," she exclaimed, pulling up her sleeve and showing everyone the word "boobie" tattooed in gothic script on her arm.
"I gave her it," Steph explained. She pulled up the leg of her pants to show off a deformed "X" scratched into her ankle. "Emma gave me this one. It's supposed to be a portrait of Jesus."
"That is so punk rock," Nick said, suddenly appearing out of nowhere. No one really noticed or cared. "Why is there a train station next to your bathroom?" he asked randomly.
"That's for Ringo. We kidnapped him after he played at WE Fest and the only way we could make him stay was to convince him that he was still the conductor at Shining Time Station," Steph explained. "We have John and George too, but they're mostly for Emma."
"But I thought John and George were dead," Andy pointed out.
"That's just the rumors we circulated so no one would ask any questions. John and George get left alone and their wives get their royalties. It works out for everyone."
"What about Paul?"
"Paul's still upset about his divorce. He's locked in some room somewhere with Dunkin' Donuts and Ben and Jerry's."
"This place blows," Billie Joe complained, draping his arms around Emma's neck. "You wanna go fuck Lennon?"
Emma rolled her eyes, "Sure, but I get him first."
"Score!" Billie cheered, quickly following Emma to the room where they kept the former Beatle.
"Tyson, we should really go find Chris and Mike," Nick admitted. "It's been days and they don't fend well on their own."
Tyson dropped his game controller, pouted and got up to follow Nick.
"See ya, Kids," Nick said, waving as they left.
"Now what do we do?" Andy asked.
"PS3," Pete said, hypnotized.
"Uh, where's that recording studio again?" Patrick asked.
Steph sighed, "Downstairs."
Patrick grinned and ran downstairs to probably have sex with the soundboard again.
Steph and Andy looked at each other.
"I know that Emma technically owns you, but would you like to ride around in the trains in our replica of Shining Time Station so Ringo can pretend to be the conductor?" Steph asked him.
Andy looked at the stub of his arm (fixed in Emma and Steph's state of the art emergency room located on the second floor of the East wing) and shrugged. Joe was dead, Patrick was making out with recording equipment and Pete was losing even more brain cells. "What the heck," he replied and followed her to the train station next to the bathroom.
The End.
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