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Frank, Mikey and Gerard hurried across the parking lot, their destination the tour bus. Each had a loved one waiting and time was short. "Man, I was so fucking happy to see Alicia this morning." Mikey told them. "Shit we haven't even been gone that long and I missed her so much."
"Yea, and having Lover Boy over here with his lady doesn't help." Frank said nodding his head towards Gerard.
Gerard took a drag off his cigarette and laughed, "Yea, having Monica with me makes life good. I'm gonna hate when she goes home."
"I'm just glad the girls get to go to Vegas with his. We gotta think of a way to sneak in some play time in." Mikey said as they reached the bus.
Bert and Monica were just pulling up, "Hey, is that Bert?" Frank asked looking over at the car.
"Yea, Monica told me he was coming by." Gerard answered tossing the cigarette butt away. He wondered where Bert and Monica had been.
Bert got out "Hey fuckers, glad to see me?"
"Shit Bert who wouldn't be?" Frank answered as he walked by him "Great seeing you but I got a woman inside."
"Ditto" Mikey said as he followed Frank onto the bus.
Bert laughed, "Can't blame them. So Gee how's life?" He and Gerard did a high five.
"All's right with the world." Gerard said putting his arm around Monica. "Where were you and Bert?"
The question caught her off guard. She didn't want to lie to Gerard. Bert came to the rescue. "Hey, are you worried I'm trying to steal your woman?"
Gerard flipped him off "Fuck, no. Ain't no body could steal her away." They kissed with such love it caused Bert to look away. This kind of love was something he didn't believe he would ever find.
He was going to give Gerard an answer as to where he and Monica had been but Gerard spoke first. "Have you heard anything from Liv? Anymore threats."
Bert looked down at his feet: he needed to word this right. "Actually I went to see her."
Gerard was shocked, "Why the fuck would you do that? We don't want to poke a stick at the sleeping cobra."
"Yea, but I thought maybe I could get in her head a bit, see what she's thinking."
Monica looked at him and gave him a smile of thanks. He was protecting her by saying it was his idea to see Liv.
"Well, what did she say?" Gerard demanded.
"Uh actually she was sort of decent. She didn't say anything about fucking with you about her kid. Didn't say anything about going to the press. We sat and talked about some of the good times we had shared on Warped."
"Was the little girl there?" Gerard asked getting out another cigarette and lighting it. Monica knew he smoked more when he was nervous or upset.
Bert grabbed the pack from him and took one. He used Gerard's lighter, took a drag then spoke, "Yea, Elena was there."
Gerard flinched when Bert said Elena's name. "I can't believe she named her Elena. Liv didn't like grandma at all."
Monica hated that Liv had gotten the opportunity to know Gerard's grandma and she hadn't. "Why did she dislike her?"
"I took her to see grandma a few times. Grandma was nice to her and Liv was actually pretty decent to her. They seemed to get along. The last time I took Liv to see her something happened. I left the room to get some drinks and they were talking. When I came back down the hall I could hear part of their conversation. Grandma was telling Liv that trying to hurt someone you love wouldn't make your own pain go away. They both saw me and stopped talking. Liv got up and went out to sit in the car. I told grandma I would see her later. On the way home I asked Liv what they had talked about but she just stared out the window and wouldn't talk to me. She never would go with me to see grandma after that. She wouldn't even go with me to her funeral."
Monica felt so bad, knowing he had to attend the funeral alone. "I'm sorry, Gee." She said into his ear.
He kissed her lips briefly. "It's done and over." He turned back to Bert and asked suddenly "So does she look like me?"
Bert knew he was talking about Elena he looked at him and answered honestly, "Fuck yea, she does."
Gerard sighed looking down at the cigarette in his hand, "That's just fucking great."
Monica wondered what was going through his brain. He looked over at her "I'm sorry about all of this honey, I really am."
She tried to figure out his thoughts. "Are you upset you many have a child or that you may have a child with Liv?"
He looked uncomfortable, "Both I guess. I don't want to ever have to deal with Liv again and if Elena is mine then I will have to eventually."
Bert took another deep drag then spoke, "For what it's worth she seems like a good mother to the little girl. Elena looked very happy and shit, seeing Liv cuddling a child was fucking weird."
Gerard looked at him strangely, "Yea, that is hard to believe. She never seemed very comfortable around kids. Always said she never wanted them. She said they creeped her out. I would have thought she would have had an abortion."
Monica's first reaction was shock. In her mind she couldn't imagine Liv ending a life that was part hers and Gerard's. He seemed to read her mind, "By the time this child was conceived Liv hated the sight of me. She told me she hated me almost every fucking day."
"Then why were you still together?" Monica asked him "Why stay with her?"
He looked away, "Cause she needed someone to take care of her. We had been together for so long I just couldn't walk away. She would tell me what a stupid fuck I was then when I would tell her I was leaving she would ask me to stay. I guess I was a stupid fuck."
Monica hugged him, "No Gee, that doesn't make you stupid that makes you a caring human being. You loved her and wanted to help her. I understand."
He wondered what he had ever done to deserve a woman as understanding as Monica. "You give me too much credit. Did you ever think that maybe I just stayed with her cause I was afraid of being alone?" His tone was angry.
Monica understood his anger, she had dealt with her own over Kyle for years. Yes she had stayed with him to protect her girls but part of her brain knew she had stayed out of fear of being alone too and she hated that part of herself. "Gee no one really wants to be alone and when you are staying with someone you love your emotions get in the way of common sense."
Bert nodded, "She's right you know. Liv could mess with a mans emotions like no other. He considered his next words then spoke. "For as evil as Liv was to you she did once love you. Gee."
Gerard shook his head, "I don't fucking think she ever loved me." He looked down and added, "She never once said it."
"Then why keep your child, Gee?" Monica spoke quietly.
He still couldn't accept the thought that Liv had loved him. "Shit, I don't know. Maybe she thought she could get money out of me. I mean she has threatened to go to the press if I don't take responsibility."
"But she hasn't" Monica reminded him.
"And she didn't say anything like that when I saw her." Bert added.
Gerard was still unconvinced, "Doesn't mean she won't"
Frank called to them from the bus, "Hey are you guys gonna stand outside all day? We just ordered Chinese and it should he here any minute."
"Food" Bert giggled, "I'm in"
The three of them walked towards the bus. Gerard tightened his hold on Monica. "I love you," he told her.
Now she understood why he said it so often. He needed to hear her say she loved him. He needed to say it like Liv never did. "I love you, Gee. More than I can ever say."
The Chinese food did arrive within the next few minutes. They all sat around on the floor of the bus enjoying the treat. Frank tried to steal Spring Rolls from other people's plates. Since they contained no meat he thought they all should belong to him.
Ray actually tackled him when he tired to grab his off his plate. "Fuck no Ireo, that's mine. Go eat some more rice and vegetables."
"I'm tired of rice and vegetables" Frank wined.
"Here Frank you can have mine" Monica said taking pity on him.
Jamia rolled her eyes, "You'll just encourage him to be bad." She kidded. Frank took the Spring Roll from Moncia and thanked her.
He leaned over to kiss Jamia, "You are so bad to me, babe."
She smiled at him "Yea, that's what you like about me." The rest of the band laughed.
Soon it was time for the band to go backstage. The girls were going to clean up the food mess before joining them.
"We'll be there soon," Alicia told Mikey who looked like he hated the thought of leaving he side.
Gerard pulled Monica aside and spoke in a low voice, "I'm sorry about all that Liv talk earlier."
She touched his face tenderly, "Gee, she is a big part of your past. I understand that. Please don't ever fell like you can't talk about her around me. I won't lie, I am jealous about some of the things Liv got to do like meet your grandma. You have no idea how I wish I could have met her." She kissed him quickly then looked into his eyes. "I hate Liv for hurting you but if she hadn't than we wouldn't be here together. Life is strange sometimes, isn't it?"
He rested his chin on the top of her head. "Yea, sugar it is."