FicWad

The singer finished singing and she's walking out
The singer sheds a tear, her fear of falling out
And it's hard to say how I feel today
For years gone by and I cried



we met on warped tour one year. You're brother's band was on the tour. Everyone knew the almighty Tony Lovato. When I heard from Pierre that Tony had a sister I expected you to be just like him. Boy was I wrong. You were really quiet at first and hardly left Tony or Matt's side. I could tell that there were both really protective over you. When I first saw you, you took my breath away. We became instant friends. We were always together after that. Tony didn't really like it a whole lot. Before warped was over we were dating and eventually had sex.



It's hard to say that I was wrong
It's hard to say I miss you
Since you've been gone, it's not the same



You ended up getting pregnant and I freaked out. I said a bunch of shit that I should have never said. If I could go back I would have never said anything. Tony beat the shit out of me that night. But I deserved it. I hurt you. I never wanted to do that. I admit that I was wrong. I should have never left you. I should have been there for you and our child. I wish I could have been there




My worries weigh the world, how I used to be
And everything, I'm cold, seems a plague in me
And it's hard to say how I feel today
For years gone by and I cried



Its been almost 4 years since that night. It seems like all I've don't is cry. I've pulled away from everyone. The only person I talk to is Pierre. My performances also changed. Im not as happy go lucky as I use to be. Pierre told me that you had a little boy, that you named Andrew David Desrosiers. I was shocked to even hear that you gave him my last name. God Im so sorry I was never there. I've changed in the past years. Im not the irresponsible, stupid kid I was four years ago. I want to be in my son's life though I know I don't deserve it at all. I want to be with you. I've never stopped loving you. Why after all this time am I saying this? Cause I am a stubborn asshole who hates to admit when im wrong. It took me forever just to admit it to myself much less to anyone else.



It's hard to say that I was wrong
It's hard to say I miss you
Since you've been gone, it's not the same
It's hard to say I held my tongue
It's hard to say if only
Since you've been gone, it's not the same
Worse than the fear it's the lie you told a thousand times before
Worse than a fear it's the knife
But it's hard to say how I feel today
For years gone by and I cried




I have never been the one to willingly admit that I was wrong. But I am, I miss you so much. I called Tony. He told me to fuck off the first couple times I called but finally , after a lot of begging I got him to at least hear me out. He said that even though I was and ass and he wasn't to hurt me for hurting his baby sister, that he could kinda see where I was coming from. I told him that I want o be in our son's life and wanting to be with you. He gave me your number. It took me at least a hundred times before I could even speak, and then another hundred to get you to listen to me. I begged you to let me see our son. You said that you only agreed because he needed a father figure that wasn't Tony, and that he needed to know his birth father, no matter how much of a bastard he is. Which all leads me to now, standing outside of your door with a letter to you in my hand. It's the only way that I could express myself to you was on paper




It's hard to say that I was wrong
It's hard to say I miss you
Since you've been gone, it's not the same
It's hard to say I held my tongue
It's hard to say if only
Since you've been gone, I'm not the same
It's hard to say (God, it's hard to say)
Since you've been gone,
I'm not the same




I handed you the note which you read out loud
"im not the same without you in my life. Its hard to say how wrong I was. Hard to say that I miss you. Hard to say I need you. Hard to say I love you."
As tears welled in your eyes you quickly wiped them away. You went and got Andrew out of his room
"Andrew this is your daddy, David this is your son" she said. Andrew jumped in my arms and hugged me. I started to cry
" its hard to say I love you too" I heard you whisper.