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long one
you have no idea how hard it was
be happy









The weeks that led up to the hearing, I was at the prison every day visiting him. Most of the time it was difficult, just seeing him in that condition, in that surrounding. Nevertheless I forced a smile and tried to make things seem fine, for both of our sake. But there was always that small doubt in my mind; the small voice that kept reminding me that maybe he would never get out. That maybe he would get locked up forever.

But the hearing finally arrived, and I was more anxious then I had ever been in my entire life. I got dressed into very sensible shirt, jeans and boots and drove over to the courthouse with Jon and Spencer. I was surprised to see Vicky and Max already there when we arrived. I smiled, and ran up to them, making a loud noise with every time my heel collided with the floor, and enveloped her in a hug. "Long time no see", I smiled happily. "I can't believe you two came. This is going to mean so much to Brendon."

She smiled, and leaned in close to me, about to share a secret. "How are you holding up, sweetheart?" she asked softly, making it impossible for the nosey boys to listen in.

I half smiled, half frowned and nodded slightly, trying my best not to start tearing up. "He's going to be fine", I said softly, optimistically. "Everything going to be fine." I turned my heels and began walking towards the doors, which was the only was to stop myself from crying.

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No one was allowed inside of the room during the hearing, seeing as there were reporters and television cameras crowding all around the outside of the courthouse, and none of the boys wanted private information leaked to them. Just the lawyers, the jury and the judge were allowed inside. I stood outside for hours, just waiting for the answer that might change my life forever. But then, two and a half hours after the hearing began Brendon's lawyer walked out quickly. "Haylee..." he said, motion for me to come over. I stood up quickly and nearly ran up to him. "We need you at the witness stand..."

My heart dropped quicker and faster then I had ever felt before. I slowly walked into the room as I felt every eye fall on me. My face began to get warm, and probably red from the awkwardness. Then I glanced over at Brendon, who was sitting at one of the tables wearing a very "in" looking blazer and pants, of course with his own little twist added to it. He smiled a sweet smile, probably trying to get me not to worry. But little did he know, it made all the difference.

I approached the officer who was holding a bible. I placed my right hand a top it and swore to tell the truth, then sat down in the uncomfortable wooden chair at the witness stand. Adam and Ryan's lawyer looked me up and down, as if sizing me up; trying to intimidate me. The two boys still seemed in pretty bad condition. Ryan was confined to a neck brace while Adam wore a cast around one of his arms and had a circle of darkness around his left eye. "So tell me, Ms. Palmer, where were you on the night of Jan 2nd 2007?" the lawyer asked coldly.

I began to think, then pulled the microphone close up to my lips. "I was at the Hospital, my former boyfriend, Adam Lynch, had attempted suicide. Brendon was taking me over to the apartment to get my things when I discovered him unconscious."

"And why were you going to get your things?"

I let out a loud sigh of exhaustion and irritation. "Adam had been cheating on me while he went away to Europe. When we were at a New Years Eve party, the same girl just happened to be there. I found out, and obvious freaked, then went over to Brendon, Ryan, Jon and Spencer's appartment."

"And you and Brendon, you're close...yes?"

"At the time... well at the time I don't know what you would have called us", I replied truthfully. "We had kissed, made out actually, more then once. But it was never anything official until after this whole thing started..."

"What whole thing, Ms. Palmer?"

"The whole thing between Brendon, Ryan and Adam", I huffed.

The lawyer faced the jury, "You see here", he began, as if explaining the whole sequence to the jury people. "Ms. Palmer here had had intimate relationships with each of these young men. Isn't it a very likely possibility that she had Brendon do this just so she could get them out of her way? So the two of them could be together?"

I parted my lips to deny all the false information he was feeding these people, "But no...you don't know the half of it..."but was cut off by his cold voice.

"No more further questions your honor."

I slouched down in the chair and let out a long frustrated sigh as the lawyer representing Brendon, Mr. Cambridge, walked up to the stand. "Now Ms. Palmer, if you could explain all your relationships you've had with the boys to the jury," he said, not asking, but more telling.

"The relationship with Ryan was first. It started a good two years ago when we had a little too much to drink and things got out of hand." I said, correcting my posture as I did so. "After that me and him kept seeing each other, despite that he was having a relationship with his now soon-to-be wife. We weren't in a relationship or anything, it was more along the lines of friends with benefits; or at least that's what he called it. It was much more to me then that. But soon I got sick of the whole thing and decided it would be best for me if I got out of it..."

"Sick of what?" God what was with all these lawyers asking the most obvious question?

"I was getting sick of getting used and mistreated by him." I began. "So one night I told him that I didn't want to continue being intimate with him, and he blew up on me." I glanced over at Ryan, who's expression seemed a mixture of anger and entertainment. "But then the next day was when I met Adam. He had just moved in, or that was what he claimed to have done, and I was attracted to him immediately. We exchanged numbers and were talking on the phone every night. But then a few nights later, Ryan came running back desperately, begging for me to...well you know... I tried to explain to him verbally why I didn't want to carry on with the relationship, but he didn't listen." I then looked over at Brendon, who looked as if the pain from my eyes was seeping into his. "He forced me down...and..." The words just didn't seem to want to escape my lips; and a few random tears began rolling slowly down my cheek.

"Did Mr. Ross rape you, Ms. Palmer?"

I nodded, as I brought my face up to my cheek and wiped away the tear. "At first he screamed for me to get undressed, and I refused easily. But then he slapped me across the face and forced me down and..." I couldn't go on, my mouth refused it. I glanced over at Brendon who practically had tears forming in his eyes, as if he could feel the hurt.

"So you're saying that Mr. Ross physically pushed you down and took off your close, forcing you have sexual contact with him?" Mr. Cambridge asked.

"Yes." The lawyer leaned against the table, and stuck his pen in between his lips, waiting for me to continue. "After that I hadn't seen much of Ryan; and me and Adam began to get close and started dating. Things from there went on smoothly. It was hard getting close to him; what Ryan did had affected me emotionally, but the way he acted made it easy to get close, so I moved in with him." I took a pause as I again looked over at Brendon. Everything I was saying affected his future; it would determine whether or not he'd go to prison. "I had met Brendon through him. Ryan and Brendon were in a band together, Panic! At The Disco, but Ryan had recently been kicked out when I met him. And Adam really thought they were cool guys, so he started hanging out with them a lot, so naturally, I did too. And when Adam went to Europe on business I hung out with them."

"Do you recall Mr. Lynch going on vacation many times in the past, Ms. Palmer?" Cambridge asked.

"No... in fact I don't remember him ever saying anything about business trips."

"So it could have been possible for him to have lied, and just gone there to meet up with the woman he was cheating on you for?"

"Well...yes I suppose."

"Please, Ms. Palmer, Go on..."

"Well while Adam was in Europe, me and Brendon began getting really close. We had some intimate contact, not sex, but we had kissed and things seemed like they would have continued moving quickly from there. But I stopped it, swearing to myself that I would be faithful to Adam; and when he came back on New Years Eve I was so happy. We went to this amazing party, it was wonderful; at least until I caught Adam with another woman. I was crushed, and went to Brendon for a shoulder to cry on. And I stayed at his place, with the rest of the boys. And like I said earlier, the next day I went to get my things and that was where I found Adam."

"But on to the whole reason why we're here, Ms. Palmer", Cambridge began, "While Adam was recovering from his suicide attempt, what happened? Why did Brendon blow up and just randomly attack the other two?"

"Attack is a harsh word, Mr. Cambridge", I said with somewhat of a tone. "If I had to call it anything I would have to say he did it to protect me." The judge's expression shifted to somewhat interested, as she urged me to continue. "I hurried out of the hospital, after Adam told me he was basically using me for sex. I was torn apart and collapsed in the back alleyway from shock. Brendon ran after me, and I completely spilled my heart out to him about how Ryan raped me, and Adam using me. He freaked, and stormed in there." I stopped and looked over at the jury people; who looked completely sucked into my tale.

"So, when my client went after the boys, it was only an attempt to protect you in a sense."

I nodded intensely. "Ryan Ross raped me. Adam Lynch placed with my emotions and cheated on me; our whole relationship was based on one huge lie. And then Brendon came along, and he was really the only guy who ever cared about me; he's the best thing that ever happened to me", I turned my tearing eyes towards the jury. "I know that this may not mean much to any of you, but I'm madly in love with that boy over there. He's the furthest from a criminal that you can get. He just made one bad choice..."









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