Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto


by iamzuul 2 reviews

Temari doesn't realize that taking allergy medication makes you a drug addict. [one shot]

Category: Naruto - Rating: G - Genres: Humor - Characters: Asuma, Chouji, Ino, Shikamaru, Temari - Published: 2005-09-17 - Updated: 2005-09-18 - 554 words - Complete

The request was for a drabble, and for a pairing, but I failed miserably at producing either. Instead I produced something closer to a Team Ten short story. Imagine my chagrin, but Phoenix of Eternity on eff eff dot net has a heart of gold no matter how much she growls and glares and pretends otherwise. :D

Naruto not mine, etcetera and so on.

Request - Shikamaru/Temari, "Hay"


"I hate you," Temari muttered darkly.

Shikamaru sighed. "It's not my fault." Damn woman. In fact, it was all her fault, but wisdom and experience told him not to say that out loud.

"It is your fault," she insisted. "This never would have happened if your village's ninja hadn't caught me and them - " and it was always 'me and them' instead of 'us,' as though there was some fundamental difference " - as we were leaving. This never would have happened if you hadn't been such a chicken-puss and needed rescuing from a /girl/. If that had never happened, I wouldn't be stuck in Konoha in the middle of /fall/. With /hayfever/." She sniffled. "Therefore, it is all your fault."

He stared at her. "I fail to see the logic in what you just said."

She threw her styrofoam coffee cup at him. Luckily it was empty, but he ducked it anyway. "Damnit, Shikamaru! What the hell is wrong with your country? I'm a ninja, not a drug addict!"

Shikamaru thought it would be best not to point out the frequency at which the two coincided. "We could have gone to another convenience store," he pointed out calmly. "You were the one who attacked the clerk. If you hadn't attacked the clerk, we wouldn't have been arrested. So technically, this is all your fault." So much for wisdom and experience.

"They were allergy pills/!" she shrieked. "How the hell do you /abuse allergy pills? And why do you have to be eighteen to buy them? I can't help it that I get hayfever from all these damn trees! I hate you, Shikamaru! I'd kill you right now if it wouldn't be so damn troublesome!"

Shikamaru stared at her some more and struggled to contain a smirk. The fact that he succeeded was probably the only thing that saved his life.


Two hours later the prison door swung open, and the surly guard waved them through the motions of checking out and collecting their belongings. Asuma and the other two members of team ten were waiting in the lobby.

"Here, Temari-san," Chouji stuttered, and handed the older girl a box of allergy pills. He had always been somewhat nervous around the Sand-nin (except when she insulted his weight, which was often). Shikamaru didn't blame him. She was scary.

Temari snatched the box and strode out of the police station with a huff and no word of thanks.

"I hope you know that bailing you two out was an expense I could have lived without," Asuma said. His expression was wiped meticulously clean, in a manner that suggested he was only barely keeping himself from laughing his fool head off.

Ino wasn't even bothering to do that much.

Over the sound of his female team-mate's giggle-fit, Shikamaru asked, "I don't suppose you'll ever let me live this down, will you?"

"Not a chance," the other three said in unison.
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