FicWad

hello lovelies
this is just the beginning
so i urge you to comment if you want to read more
ok :]






>>>May 13th 2005



I sat on the side of the curb with my bags at my side; the rain poring down hard on my face, soaking an uncomfortable wetness through my jeans. I looked off into the sunset, where there was still some soft sunlight that was fading into the distance; I could hear the music booming from the peoples' houses down the block, celebrating the event that had just taken place, for it was just hours since the graduation ceremony had taken place.

I glanced down the road as the cab car began to pull up beside me. I stood up, lifting my bags with me and set them into the trunk softly, looking back once behind me as I did so. I could see the small frame of a boy running towards me in the distance. I leaned against the side of the car and held back the tears that so desperately wanted to come out. But I couldn't cry in front of that boy, not now. Now things were already going to be so hard and confusing that the extra tears could do so much as kill me.

I looked over and watched him approach. Moment later he was standing in front of me, hunched over, catching his breath. He looked up at me, a mixture of sweat and rain dripping from his hair onto the already wet concrete. "Lila, please, where are you going?" he began tiredly, giving me "the look", as he placed his hands in mine.

I studied his expression, which showed a mixture of pain, sorrow and confusion; almost being too difficult to look at. I let out a deep, soothing breath of air, trying my best to look him in the eyes, and started. "Ryan... I need to get out of this place. If I stay here, everything is going to fall apart." I took a pause as he pulled me into a strong, firm hug; as if he were attempting to stop me from leaving. "There's nothing here for me, Ry", I whispered softly into his ear.

"Lila, no..." he started as he loosened his grip and forced me to look into his eyes. "I'm here for you; I always have..." suddenly he was cut off by the sound of the honking cab driver. His eyes first shot to him, and then desperately back at me; pleading me not to leave.

"I have to go Ryan..." I said softly as I looked down at my soaked fingers, which were now intertwined with his. I looked back up, the rain now getting lighter and more of a sprinkle. "I'll miss you."

"I love you."

Those words seemed to fall onto my heart so quickly and sharply that I was afraid I was going to burst. My heart was now heavy to the max, and I wasn't so sure I could handle the sensation. He had never spoken those words to me, and at the moment they sounded so sweet rolling off his tongue. "I love you too Ry, so much... you don't even know..."

He pulled me into one last hug. "Don't do this, Lila... don't leave..."

"I'm sorry...I need to..." I said as one small tear rolled down my already wet cheek. The emotions were pouring out, there was nothing I could do to control myself. On impulse, I leaned in a kissed him passionately, getting one last taste of him, and then opened the back door of the cab. "You're going to grow up and do something with your life, Ry; something real."

"I'm gonna find you someday, kid." He said as I took his quivering hands and placed them in mind. "And we're going to pick up right where we left off... things are all going to be fine; exactly the same."

"Exactly..." I kissed his hands and then released them, opening the back door of the cab slowly, then getting in. "I'll see you again, Ry." I said as I shut the door closed softly. The cab began to pull away from the curb, and then started slowly down the road towards the airport. I had just done the most risky thing anyone could ever do.

I just left behind my everything...




>>>December 31st 2006



From what I've herd, its all been for me. All the songs; all the lyrics, everything was for me. Every time he picked up a pen and paper and began writing was just an attempted to get me back; hell, the whole reason he started a band was. Him thinking that maybe I'd hear it and find him. I herd, but never went back. No matter what we may have said as naive kids, things were different now, more then ever.

I sat in the back of my limo and listened to the music that was pouring through the speakers. The lyrics began to fill my ears and I began to think. Those lyrics were his. Their music was somewhat of a bad habit of mine; just the right amount of the old days that I needed to get me though these parties.

Is it still me that makes you sweat; am I who you think about in bed?

/As a matter of fact yes; more then you know.../