Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Dead On Arrival
trying to forget everything that isn't you
4 reviewsrunning away never solves the problem ..
3Ambiance
Hesitation was the name of the game and Ana was a star. Racking her brain and buying as much time as she could, there was no way she could make Patrick understand the situation nor did she want to show him her weakness, proving to herself that she wasn't strong enough to stand up for herself or to let go.
"I was pregnant" Ana finally began, her eyes still glued to the horizon, unable to face him. "He was leaving for the marines and engagement seemed to be the right thing to do at the time ..." Tears began to build behind her bright green eyes; how could she be so naïve?
Patrick listened intently from his distant position on the old wooden bench as Ana continued on, fighting through the tears that began to threaten her pale, dry cheeks. "Duty called and I was left behind with a ring and a promise and a miscarriage of a pregnancy that no one would ever know about. Phone calls and occasional letters slowed and eventually stopped all together and I gave up trying."
Tears came crashing now, sliding over her cheek bones one by one, sadness thick in her voice, "He doesn't know that I lost the baby and he doesn't care either way; he's moved on. I saw him last week, downtown, with a new girl, she's pregnant and she has a ring; he has a system I suppose."
"I'm sorry, no one ever tol-"Patrick began to apologize, finally allowing his eyes to shift to her, but she wouldn't return the gaze, she continued to stare into the distance, interrupting his apology.
"Don't apologize, its no one's fault but my own." Wiping away at the falling tears, she choked back the hysterics, "It was my great-grandmother's ring, so he wasn't at a loss but I can't bear to tell them. To them, we were getting married because we were in love but they don't know he's home, they don't know I was pregnant or that he didn't have the balls to tell me himself that it was too much for him, that he was leaving me. It was a complete disaster and every day I live a lie because I don't have the courage to show my horrible judgment of character."
Sobbing now, she pulled her eyes away from the water and pleaded "Am I really that bad? Am I so horrible he couldn't even tell me that he wanted out?"
Wrapping his arms tightly around her as she now sobbed into his chest, Patrick gently ran his fingers through her hair, "You aren't horrible, you're perfect, you're everything a man could ask for, he's just stupid. You're so perfect it hurts."
Choking back the tears, Ana apologized for breaking down. It wasn't his concern, she had left him for years without a phone call or an attempt to stay in touch and the last thing she needed was pity from Patrick, the boy who could guilt a god with his charm. Not but an hour ago she lead him on, allowing him to kiss her once again and daring to kiss him back but the truth of the matter was, she needed it. Longing to feel his touch, to have him close to her, she needed it again, to fulfill that feeling of his lips scorched to hers forever, but she was a wreck and it was a road her life wasn't going down.
"When Kate left me; she moved out without notice; I came home to a note on the kitchen table" Patrick recalled, reciting the contents, now etched in his memory forever, trying to offer some sort of comfort to the girl breaking down in his arms, "They say its "Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll", no one rewrote it to be "Music, then your girlfriend if you maybe have the time to spare". I'm done sitting around, waiting and hoping that maybe you'll find the time to pencil me into your life. I give up. Good luck with your career, I know it means more to you than I ever did; maybe I'll buy the record, in hopes that I become a line in a song."
Tears filled Ana's eyes once again, the pity party had begun. Kate was the only thing that ever stood between her and happiness and the harsh words that crashed over Patrick's lips only forced her heart to break more, a heart that had once been reconstructed in solid steel. Convincing herself she would never love again, not after the severity of her past rejection, she quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and apologized for his loss; Kate was always a bitch, the common bond and reason they were best friends in the first place. But that was then, before Patrick and Kate, together forever, when it was Ana and Kate, best friend's forever and the third wheel of Ana's lifeline, Patrick.
With a sigh, Patrick placed his hand back on hers, resting lighting on her left knee, sending a tingle through Ana's body that she hadn't felt in longer than she would like to admit and with a quick sharp inhaled breath, she pulled her hand away.
"I ... I have to go and visit ... someone or ... something, I can't be late." Fumbling with excuses she leapt from the bench in an anxious panic, turning to walk away, back toward to house, back to her sanity away from the tingling feeling, away from further temptation.
After three steps in the opposite direction, she turned back to Patrick, still seated, dazed and confused. Jetting back to him she placed a hard, rushed kiss on his lips before releasing a frustrated sigh and racing through the yard to her childhood home, leaving her childhood crush, her adolescent best friend and first true love alone on the creaky wooden bench, a supporting prop of their teenage adventures, with confusion in his eyes, sadness in his heart and a familiar feeling burning on his lips.
"I was pregnant" Ana finally began, her eyes still glued to the horizon, unable to face him. "He was leaving for the marines and engagement seemed to be the right thing to do at the time ..." Tears began to build behind her bright green eyes; how could she be so naïve?
Patrick listened intently from his distant position on the old wooden bench as Ana continued on, fighting through the tears that began to threaten her pale, dry cheeks. "Duty called and I was left behind with a ring and a promise and a miscarriage of a pregnancy that no one would ever know about. Phone calls and occasional letters slowed and eventually stopped all together and I gave up trying."
Tears came crashing now, sliding over her cheek bones one by one, sadness thick in her voice, "He doesn't know that I lost the baby and he doesn't care either way; he's moved on. I saw him last week, downtown, with a new girl, she's pregnant and she has a ring; he has a system I suppose."
"I'm sorry, no one ever tol-"Patrick began to apologize, finally allowing his eyes to shift to her, but she wouldn't return the gaze, she continued to stare into the distance, interrupting his apology.
"Don't apologize, its no one's fault but my own." Wiping away at the falling tears, she choked back the hysterics, "It was my great-grandmother's ring, so he wasn't at a loss but I can't bear to tell them. To them, we were getting married because we were in love but they don't know he's home, they don't know I was pregnant or that he didn't have the balls to tell me himself that it was too much for him, that he was leaving me. It was a complete disaster and every day I live a lie because I don't have the courage to show my horrible judgment of character."
Sobbing now, she pulled her eyes away from the water and pleaded "Am I really that bad? Am I so horrible he couldn't even tell me that he wanted out?"
Wrapping his arms tightly around her as she now sobbed into his chest, Patrick gently ran his fingers through her hair, "You aren't horrible, you're perfect, you're everything a man could ask for, he's just stupid. You're so perfect it hurts."
Choking back the tears, Ana apologized for breaking down. It wasn't his concern, she had left him for years without a phone call or an attempt to stay in touch and the last thing she needed was pity from Patrick, the boy who could guilt a god with his charm. Not but an hour ago she lead him on, allowing him to kiss her once again and daring to kiss him back but the truth of the matter was, she needed it. Longing to feel his touch, to have him close to her, she needed it again, to fulfill that feeling of his lips scorched to hers forever, but she was a wreck and it was a road her life wasn't going down.
"When Kate left me; she moved out without notice; I came home to a note on the kitchen table" Patrick recalled, reciting the contents, now etched in his memory forever, trying to offer some sort of comfort to the girl breaking down in his arms, "They say its "Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll", no one rewrote it to be "Music, then your girlfriend if you maybe have the time to spare". I'm done sitting around, waiting and hoping that maybe you'll find the time to pencil me into your life. I give up. Good luck with your career, I know it means more to you than I ever did; maybe I'll buy the record, in hopes that I become a line in a song."
Tears filled Ana's eyes once again, the pity party had begun. Kate was the only thing that ever stood between her and happiness and the harsh words that crashed over Patrick's lips only forced her heart to break more, a heart that had once been reconstructed in solid steel. Convincing herself she would never love again, not after the severity of her past rejection, she quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and apologized for his loss; Kate was always a bitch, the common bond and reason they were best friends in the first place. But that was then, before Patrick and Kate, together forever, when it was Ana and Kate, best friend's forever and the third wheel of Ana's lifeline, Patrick.
With a sigh, Patrick placed his hand back on hers, resting lighting on her left knee, sending a tingle through Ana's body that she hadn't felt in longer than she would like to admit and with a quick sharp inhaled breath, she pulled her hand away.
"I ... I have to go and visit ... someone or ... something, I can't be late." Fumbling with excuses she leapt from the bench in an anxious panic, turning to walk away, back toward to house, back to her sanity away from the tingling feeling, away from further temptation.
After three steps in the opposite direction, she turned back to Patrick, still seated, dazed and confused. Jetting back to him she placed a hard, rushed kiss on his lips before releasing a frustrated sigh and racing through the yard to her childhood home, leaving her childhood crush, her adolescent best friend and first true love alone on the creaky wooden bench, a supporting prop of their teenage adventures, with confusion in his eyes, sadness in his heart and a familiar feeling burning on his lips.
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