Categories > Anime/Manga > Gundam Wing > Why?

Why Again

by Chaimera 1 review

Heero's point of view

Category: Gundam Wing - Rating: PG - Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance - Characters: Duo, Heero - Published: 2005-10-03 - Updated: 2005-10-03 - 2008 words

Why, Again?

Heero's POV

Well that battle was a bitch.

Bet you thought the perfect soldier didn't curse huh? Well you were fucking wrong! (See?)

Yeah. And I have way more emotions that most people think. And most people think none. I figure I have a range of about 5. But lately I've had another one creeping up.

A really annoying one.

There it is too, sitting across the room, it's long legs tucked underneath it's lean body and it's unusually quiet.

Well like I said before, that battle was a bitch. Well they all get a little shell shocked. I'm the perfect soldier. I don't get phased by anything, right?


I am so fucking tired of people thinking I'm indestructible or I'm always right. 'Cause it's all bullshit. Sure we take orders and formulate plans, but all you can do when going into battle is hang on a wing and a prayer.

Hey that's pretty profound even for me.

Oh did I say hang on a wing and a prayer? I also meant your big fucking gun. Hehehehe.

O.K so I have a violent streak, Its not like you didn't know already.

So anyway back to that pesky new emotion. I think, now don't go jumping to any conclusions because I'm not positive, but I think it might be love. Now here's the thing. I've never been in love before, so how do I know its not just a lot of pent up sexual frustration?

This is what I got so far:

When were in a battle, I have to keep a constant sensor lock on him.

I get irrationally concerned if he gets hurt. (Though I think I cause a lot of that.)

He is the only one who notices my few but strong emotions.

And this part takes the cake people. I constantly push him away, treat him like crap and beat the shit out of him.

If that isn't love, I don't know what is. Just then the voice of my object of desire(I always wanted to say that.)jerks me back to the real world. "What? I thought you'd be happy I was quiet for once."

Fuck. He is way to hot for words. Damn him. Dr.J told me this was going to be a straight forward war. Go in blow everything up and get out right? Nope, wrong again. No, he had to come bouncing into my life with his chirpy attitude, tight ass and long hair. He just had to go find the chinks in my armor and oh so effectively work through them. And if he left now, I don't think I'd be able to keep going. I go nuts when were on separate missions for Christ's sakes. It's like he gives me something to fight for. I mean besides peace and no more dieing and the rest of that shit. And the worst is that the 'love' I feel for this guy brings out all sorts of entirely unwelcome emotions not in my original 5. Like joy. Never felt much of that before. And he makes me laugh, I try not to do it in front of him or the others, but hell I'm trying not to laugh right now just thinking about some of the shit he pulls.

"Find something funny, Hee-chan?"

Oh shit! Think of something quick!! Quatre said something about....thought.

"Anything that involves you thinking Duo has to amusing." Pheew that was close. I say this coolly laughing at my self. I'm not so careless usually. He'll just brush it off as one of my usual insults and carry on.

"Shut the fuck up Heero. I'm really tired and not in the mood for your bullshit."

Now that was unexpected. I'm surprised and I can feel it registering on my face. Everyone is staring at him. They've never seen him mad before. I did once on a mission together . It involves an alliance solider and his hair so I'm not going to get into it.

The others look like Treize just walked into our safe house and asked if we could settle the war with a game of Monopoly.

He turns and leaves. Well obviously I said the wrong thing.

I'm in my room, neat and tidy as usual. I'm sitting at my laptop checking my e-mail to give Duo sometime before I go ask him what the fucks wrong. I can hear him chucking stuff about so I don't think this is an ideal time.

Let's see:

Dr.J asking for an update on the mission . Well it's on the news so no need to reply.

Viagra, nope don't need that.

Bigger dick, no thank you.

Breast implants, I think not.

Funny, they can invent the Zero system, yet they still haven't mastered spam control.

Ahhh, here it is my daily whine from Relena. God knows how she got my address. I wish, I really really wish I could shoot her like she's always asking me to. Ugh it always 'Heero why don't you shoot me? Why do you go and fight? Why don't you stay here with me?'

If I stayed with her much longer than a minute I'd strangle her. Relena the pacifist. The woman is a walking oxy-moron. Just hearing her voice gets people angry.

I hear WuFei shouting something about not being able to hear himself think (his room is right beside Duo's) and then something about disemboweling and then all goes quiet. Well here we go. I approach his door and smile slightly. I can hear him pacing. He could never sit still when something was on his mind. Then I hear a loud thump and a small yelp. I shake my head. Punching walls is never good. I know from painful experience. I knock on the door and wait. He cracks the door and looks out at me.

His hair's a mess. I laugh inwardly because it must be killing him to look so disheveled.

He sighs and asks a pointless question. "What Heero? What now?"

He know exactly why I'm here. God he's annoying.

"Can.." I cant believe I'm nervous. See what he does to me?? "Can I come in?"

"No Heero, go away."

He starts to close the door but I position my self to stop him. Arrgh he's trying to push me.

It's working.

"Duo..." He looks a little frightened. Well confrontation like this never end well with us.

"Heero....Just go." Ha that was weak. He's not even trying. I push into the room and close the door. And he just stands there and looks at me. He's lost his shirt but I'm to mad to concentrate on that right now. Why won't he say anything. I punch him in the stomach and he goes down. Damn, see. Sometimes I don't even mean to do it to him. But he's always there pissing me off when ever I'm my most worked up. It's like he's using him self as my pressure valve. But that's too stupid even for Duo, right. I hurt him too much.

But then there that thing..

"Why don't you fight back Duo?" Yeah that thing. Maybe if I kick him, he'll fight back.

Nope. Fine if he wants to be stubborn. I haul him to his feet. He's breathing heavily and I can see him getting ready for the next hit. I lower my voice so WuFei cant hear us but I'm still mad.

"Why Duo?" He looks at the floor not uttering a sound. Arrgh he is so infuriating. I shake him and push him against the wall. I'm going to need some space for this. I'm bringing out the big guns, my feelings. I start to pace the room.

"You know Duo I cant stand you."

I seem to have a knack for stating the obvious today.

"You're annoying, your messy, your hair is way to long to be practical...."

Oops, forgot the hair was a sensitive spot. I can see I hit a nerve.

".......You never wash up, you eat all the food, your careless in battle, you make jokes at the most inappropriate times......"

Oh god I cant stop, I've opened a gate here.

"..and you're the only person who can see the real me."

Well there it is. The one thing nobody else can do in me, and Duo can bring it out just looking at me.

"You are the only person who has the guts or gives a damn about me enough to call me out when I need it. You're the only person who ever cared, ever really cared and I treat you like crap for it and what's worse, you let me. So why?" I was now on my knees in front of Duo.

"Why?" I say it quietly this time since my dignity is leaking out of me piece by piece.

"I...." he starts slowly. Not surprisingly considering what I just did to him.

"I..didn't want to hurt you."


"I'm stronger than I look, and besides..." He gives a mirthless laugh "If you don't let your frustration out on someone, your going to blow your self up. Again"

I want to hit him again. I really do. I cant believe he let me hurt him that badly just so I got to let some anger out. He is the most stupid, idiotic, sweetest person I knew. The fact that he'd do that for be is mind boggling and.......


I'm fucking crying. What the fuck is this. See what I mean about the gate thing?

Well at least he's not looking m...damn.

"Heero.." he speaks softly "Don't...don't.." Don't what? Cry? A bit to late for that now huh? Then the moment that I've been dreaming about for the last 4 months happens. Duo leans forward and kisses me, softly not too demanding and instinctively I raise my hand to the base of his skull and pull him closer. When we brake apart he looks away and I can tell he's afraid, of what I'm not sure but I make him look at me. "Why?" Jesus, I sound like Relena. Things are really bad.

"Because.." Oh just spit what ever the hell it is out!

"Because I love you Heero. I have done for awhile and I don't expect you to feel any remote semblance of the feelings I have for you, but there you go. That's your answer."

Whoa, heavy.

I do what my instincts tell me and pull him into a tight embrace. I'm whispering in his ear, telling him I'm sorry. Well I should be, he is going to able to use guilt trips on me forever after this.

After awhile I go limp and he just holds me. New experience, but asides from the crying thing, I like it. Right, I've decided it's definitely love. "Aishiteru Duo" I'm still whispering. Somehow I don't think he heard me so I sit up and look him straight in the eye.

"Aishiteru Duo" I sound more confident that I feel. Uh oh he looks...Well lets just take his mind off that statement then. I practically attack him but I have good intentions, sort of, hehehe. I kiss him and we roll around a bit and............

Well that was fun.

It's dawn and for two hours now I've been awake watching him sleep(Yeesh, how corny am I?)

I feel him stirring so I close my eyes pretending to be asleep, but I tighten my hold on him. Just in case his sense has taken over and he's changed his mind.

He moans in pain slightly and a wave of fresh guilt hits me. Why the hell does he love an asshole like me?

He mutters something slowly before drifting back to sleep.

"I love you Heero."


I HATE that word.

I'm going to watch him some more and then go back to sleep.

Ha, I cant wait to see Relena's face when she finds out about this.

"I love you too Duo."

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