Categories > Anime/Manga > Inuyasha > Okaeri
Chapter Two
0 reviewsAfter the end of their quest, Inuyasha and Kagome adjust to life in modern Tokyo. But there are still secrets in the past, and dangers in the present. And finding a place to call home may be the mo...
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Chapter 2
Disclaimer: Inuyasha and associated characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi.
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Chapter 2
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Inuyasha felt Kagome vanish from his hands and panicked. He saw the lights of the transition briefly, but they faded when Kagome did and he landed on the bottom of the shaft in his own time, the familiar scents of the meadow and Shippou filtering down. "Dammit! KAGOME!" he roared. Where the hell was she? He could hear the alarmed shriek of the child above, but had no time to answer him. Jumping up near the top of the well, he let himself drop down, but the well didn't activate. "NO! You're going to let me through! I'm not fucking giving her up now! KAGOME!" He could still smell her on the other side, the way he usually could, but was it fading. He stopped for a moment and concentrated his senses. He could smell the salt of her tears, and did he actually hear her voice, screaming his name? He jumped up again, clinging to the side of the shaft, and concentrated with all his being on finding her. He let himself drop, willing the well to work this time, and sought her with nose and ears, hands outstretched to grab hold of her and never let her go. Fuck if the well was going to stop him.
This time it worked. He felt himself falling- /finally/- into the formless space that he had passed through without effort countless times before, but it wasn't so easy now. There was resistance, a pulling back to where he had come from. He pushed himself forward relentlessly, feeling the force of his youki reacting with whatever power it was that activated the time slip, and perhaps with Kagome's power as well-something burned like fire. The first time he had come after Kagome through the well, he had simply followed her scent to her world, but this time he sensed he was forcing a new pathway. Close, so close-he could hear her calling and smell her clearly, and then he was /there/, with her, fingers brushing her shoulders and then grabbing and gripping her tightly to him.
She started with surprise and then wound her arms around his neck, chokingly tight, as she sobbed his name. He was there with her, in her time. He closed his eyes and held her, heart pounding. "Kagome. I'm here. I'm here with you." He whispered her name a few more times, hoping to calm her and stop those tears. Then she was kissing him, the taste of her lips salty, and he was lost in the sensation and wonder of it for a moment as he responded, kissing her back. She drew back suddenly, flushed and gasping, to gaze into his eyes. They stared at each other, while he wondered wildly what he should say or do; thankfully, Kagome broke the silence first.
"Inuyasha. I thought I had lost you." She trembled slightly in his arms; he shuddered to think that he had nearly lost her. He reached up and gently wiped the tears from her face with his thumb, careful with his claws. He could drown in the wide-eyed, vulnerable look she was giving him, full of emotion that he couldn't name, but was nearly squeezing the breath from his lungs. She sniffled delicately. "What happened? Did the well work for you? Can you still go back?" She looked up at the roof of the well house; he followed her glance. They were definitely in her time.
He couldn't smell anything now but the musty well house, the nasty air of her time, and them. The scents of the meadow in the Sengoku Jidai, Shippou, the fading traces of their friends-they were gone, and any residual magic aura from the well was gone too. Slowly he shook his head. "It was all I could do to come through. I don't think I can go back." He looked at her carefully to gauge her reaction. "You're stuck with me."
She drew her arms around him again, this time in a gentle embrace, and breathed in his ear, "That's all I ever wanted, Inuyasha."
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The well was truly and inalterably shut. At Kagome's insistence, they had tried to activate the well one more time. Inuyasha hadn't wanted to chance being separated again, but Kagome felt that they couldn't abandon their friends so easily, and he had acquiesced, unwilling to surrender. They had climbed up to the lip and jumped together-Inuyasha had gripped her around the waist and held her to him so tightly that she squeaked, but he noticed that she had squeezed her fists in a deathgrip on his haori as well. It came to nothing, though, as they landed together at the bottom of the shaft without any reaction from the well. They exchanged glances; Kagome bit her lip, but said nothing-her anguished expression spoke volumes. He gritted his teeth, but could find nothing to say. Tacitly admitting defeat, he crouched down so she could get on his back, and he took them both up and out of the well.
The weather on this side was crisp and cold, the sky clear and blue. They crossed the courtyard, headed for the house. Inuyasha was only now beginning to understand the enormity of what had just happened-/there was no going back./ He felt oppressed by the brilliant morning sun pouring down, heartlessly cheerful. It seemed cruel, while the two of them were cut off from their friends, and exiled from the world he had known, the one that made sense. And Kagome- he felt helpless in the face of her misery, her shoulders slumped, her tears barely contained. Then she turned to look at him when they reached her house, bravely attempting an encouraging smile despite her own heartache. The morning sunlight gilded her hair and her features seemed to glow, heart-stoppingly beautiful, and he felt he could forgive the sun goddess this time.
Her mother, grandfather and brother were all in the kitchen, eating breakfast, and greeted them with surprise and pleasure. Inuyasha perched on a chair with the bowl of rice her mother offered him, trying to suppress his agitation, his head still whirling in confusion. This was not his world; what would he do here? He pushed the unfamiliar anxiety down and away, and forced himself to pay attention to Kagome, who was gathering herself to tell them what had happened in response to their questions. She took a deep breath, and related a sketchy version of the events of the last few weeks-their pursuit of Naraku, the skirmishes, the final battle, finishing with the news that the well was now closed. There was silence for a moment. A slow, relieved smile dawned on Mama's lips.
"Kagome, you've done it. You've all done it. And you're home safe," she said.
Jii-chan cackled triumphantly. "I knew you could do it! A Higurashi could do no less!"
"Inu no niichan, does that mean you'll be here all the time from now on?" Souta was staring at him with a hopeful expression.
Inuyasha didn't look up from his bowl. "Looks that way, kid."
"This is going to be awesome! Wait till I show you the new games I got!" /Huh? Oh, those 'video' things. /The boy jumped up and looked like he wanted to demonstrate /right now/, but his mother gently forestalled him.
"Souta, you have to go or you'll be late for school."
Groaning, Souta regretfully picked up his bookbag to head out, after assuring Inuyasha that they could play when he got home. Inuyasha had listened with half an ear and appeared to concentrate on his food until the boy left, though he was really paying attention to the adults' reactions.
"How are you feeling, Kagome?" Mama asked, concerned, looking at the girl's worn and patched school uniform. Kagome herself looked drawn and weary. She had refused any breakfast, and sat with her arms resting on the table.
"I'm tired and I want a bath," she sighed. She put her head down for a moment, then raised it to look at them. "On top of everything else, I've got to worry about finals, but I think I'm going to rest for a little bit before plunging back in."
"By all means, dear," her mother replied. "Take as much time as you want."
Kagome pushed herself to her feet and headed for the bath. With Kagome gone, Inuyasha was left sitting in silence at the table with Mama and Jii-chan. He fidgeted with the empty bowl for a moment before setting it down. He contemplated bolting. No, better get it over with. He looked up to find them both regarding him, Mama thoughtfully, Jii-chan speculatively, one hand playing with the tip of his beard.
"Inuyasha," Mama began, looking at him gravely. "Is it true that you cannot go back to your own time? You are here on this side of the well permanently?" The old man stared at him intently.
Shit, here it comes, he thought glumly. They're going to tell me to shove off, now that I'm no longer useful. Nobody ever wants a hanyou hanging around.
Well, tough shit. He was here now. Half-defiantly, he said, "Yeah, that's right. I'm on this side of the well for good." Somehow he couldn't bring himself to meet their eyes, though; he found himself averting his gaze to the view outside the window, and tried to harden his heart for the inevitable rejection. He wondered why the thought of these particular people telling him to go made his throat feel so tight. Angry with himself, he shook his head slightly. Maybe there's a place near here I can stay and be unnoticed. There are no forests nearby that I can tell, nothing but this little grove, but I have to be able to see Kagome...
Mama's voice cut through the gloomy thoughts like the sun through clouds, blinding him. "Well then, we'll have to think of where you're going to sleep. We don't have a guest room; we can put down a futon for you in the living room at night, until I can think of something better. Would that be all right, dear?" Inuyasha jerked his head around to stare at her in surprise; she was looking at him a little anxiously.
"You want me to stay here?" he blurted.
"Of course! Where else would you stay?" Suddenly she looked dismayed. "Unless you do have somewhere else? I apologize, Inuyasha, but I had assumed that you didn't have other friends or relatives in this time to stay with." He shook his head dumbly, still staring at her, and she smiled at him.
"We would be pleased to have you live with us, Inuyasha. Wouldn't we, Jii-chan?"
Next to her, the old man had been looking uncomfortable. But at her question he nodded stiffly. "Yes, the demon can stay. What's one more mouth to feed?"
Inuyasha drew himself up angrily. "You don't have to worry about that, Jijii. I can take care of myself."
"And you took good care of Kagome, too." Mama glared at Jii-chan, who looked away. "Don't worry about that, Inuyasha. We live very well off the income from the shrine. One more person is no problem. Would you like some eggs or sausage?"
Inuyasha pointedly refused, with a suspicious glance at the old man. Jii-chan harrumphed and got up, declaiming that he had work to do, and went out to the shrine.
His eyes followed the old man out, but he was still in a daze, thinking about what Mama had said. She wants me to live here. With them. He turned back to her at the sound of more tea being poured into his cup, and he found her regarding him kindly. She set the teapot down and looked into his eyes, suddenly serious.
"Inuyasha, thank you for protecting Kagome all this time. We owe you our gratitude." She stepped back, and to his amazement, gave him a deep and respectful bow. She straightened, and said in a voice that shook only slightly, "I know that she is here and safe because you were with her. Never doubt that you have a place here for as long as you want it." She held his gaze for an instant, and then with a shaky smile she looked away, and began gathering the breakfast dishes. Inuyasha picked up his tea and drank it, ignoring the tightness in his throat, stunned and speechless.
He went to Kagome's room shortly afterwards, to think and compose himself. Kagome took a long time in the bath; when he heard her coming up the stairs, he quickly vacated the room via the window, knowing she would want to dress. He came back some time after it had gotten quiet, to find her sleeping heavily, her rotund cat curled up against her. He sat on the tatami and just watched her sleep for a while. The creature opened one baleful yellow eye to stare at him, but it didn't stir, and when he failed to do anything interesting the eye closed. He leaned his back against the bed and closed his own eyes, arranging Tessaiga comfortably in the crook of his arm. He could rest here, wreathed in her scent, in the quiet of this place.
Some time later, Inuyasha woke from his doze at the feel of Kagome's fingers lightly running through some strands of his hair. He turned to face her; she was lying on her side facing him, and smiled a little apologetically when he turned around. "Sorry," she said in a low voice. "I just wanted...to be sure you were really there, and not a dream." Her hand was still extended from her, lying on the bedcover where she had let go of his hair. He reached over and gently touched the back of her hand.
"There, real enough for you? Just what is it about my hair that you're always yanking on it?" He smiled a little to make it plain he was kidding, and she grinned in answer. At that moment he heard steps starting up the stairs; he stood, stretching a little, and sat on the windowsill. He was staring out of it casually and Kagome had just sat up when her mother knocked at the half-open door and stuck her head in to announce lunch.
After they ate, Kagome sat at her desk and, incredibly, began studying. Apparently the world could end but she still had to study... He sat at the windowsill for a while, and then, bored, went off to sit in one of the trees near the house to observe the activity around the shrine. The rest of the day passed slowly and peacefully. He had never really paid much attention to what went on around the shrine, at least in this time; there were a lot of people coming and going, much more so than in his world, when Kaede had charge of it, or even before that, when Kikyou had been priestess here. Her grandfather looked like he kept pretty busy, though he mostly stayed in and around the shrine office. It didn't appear that he was conducting services in the main hall today. Maybe he only did so once a week; he was pretty old for a human, after all.
By the end of the day, Inuyasha had moved to the roof of the house, the better to hear the goings-on within. He had heard Souta ask for him when the kid got home from school, but he had wanted to stay up here and assimilate the events of today, and not be distracted for a while. He scratched his belly thoughtfully as he lay in a comfortable sprawl and stared out at the city lights coming on; it was dusk, but still so unnaturally bright. He wished he could have the familiar darkness again, and the light of the stars.
He snorted, annoyed with himself. What the hell was wrong with him? He was still with Kagome. Damned if he knew what he was going to do here, but still, he had managed to stay with her. He hadn't exactly made any plans back in the Sengoku Jidai, anyway, had he? He had never spent much time thinking about what would happen after they killed that bastard Naraku; he had been at a bit of a loss even before the well closed, actually. There were no more Shikon shards to find, no more Naraku to kill, and he no longer had Kikyou to worry over and feel responsible for. His hands clenched for a moment. Kikyou had had her own plans, not the same as theirs. She had used them all to her own ends, used her will to force events to the conclusion she had deemed necessary and right.
Kikyou...he didn't understand what she had become before the end; a power, a force barely contained in her crumbling shell by tremendous will. Clearly not the person she had been when alive, or even the vengeful, furious revenant she had been when first revived. He swallowed thickly, rigidly suppressing his grief and guilt. He did feel guilty and angry with himself for having put Kagome through so much uncertainty, and pain, over his unfinished business with her previous incarnation, since Kikyou apparently hadn't thought they had any business left to bother with. Kagome might know why, after what Kikyou did to her, he thought uneasily. He doubted he would ever get up the courage to ask her about it. It wasn't worth the pain it would give them both.
Kagome. He was still with Kagome, that was the most important thing to him. He pushed his dark thoughts aside, and he allowed himself a small smile at the memory of how she'd kissed him this morning-/kissed him!/-and what she'd said. What did that mean, and what would happen now? Although he'd not made any plans, somehow any future he'd half-imagined had always had Kagome in it. But what form would his life here take, with her?
In a way, it seemed that he had come full circle to where he had been when he met Kikyou. He had been alone, with no purpose calling him, but when he had seen her, he was drawn to her as if caught by a spell, one he hadn't been able to break. He had loved her when he had hardly even known what love was. And here he was again, alone but for Kagome, but willing to do whatever it took to stay with her. Because he loved her.
Her family's reaction to his permanent presence was beyond reassuring, though in his experience it was best to not be complacent with humans. Attitudes could change at a moment's notice if you were a stranger, which he was pretty much anywhere.
They said that he could live here. Could he really...have a place? And, he hardly dared to even think it to himself, would Kagome accept him as something more than her friend? Would her family? He had let down his guard once before, with Kikyou. But Kikyou, when alive, had conditions only under which she would consider a life with him. Kagome had never asked him to change, to be anything other than what he was, only to be with him.
His thoughts were interrupted by the scent of Kagome herself down below. "Inuyasha?" he heard her call softly. He leaned out over the edge of the roof to peer down at her. "Dinner," she said. "Mama's made oden. Hurry up or I'll eat yours." She grinned rather wolfishly at him and whisked back into the house. He swung down hastily to join her in the kitchen.
Mama didn't make oden very often, but then tonight must be a special occasion. They were celebrating the successful outcome of three years of danger and hardship. Kagome's sketchy rendition of the end of their quest from this morning was brought up again now by her curious family. He let her tell the story without interjection or interruption. She had always edited what she told her family to make it sound less dangerous, but Inuyasha could pick up from her tone that she did not want to discuss the consequences of Kikyou's... passing. Souta kept prodding for details, and Kagome clearly didn't want to recount them again; the brat finally subsided, wide-eyed, after Inuyasha growled his irritation.
The hanyou sat next to Kagome at the table and even managed to get seconds, beating her attempt to hog what was left of the oden. That girl could eat pretty fast. Inuyasha felt comfortably full, and sat back, idly observing the family dynamics: Kagome, having an animated discussion with her mother; Souta, trying to inject comments into their conversation; and Jii-chan, who was being...oddly quiet. The old man was definitely acting suspicious; every time Inuyasha glanced at him he caught the geezer giving him these looks/...speculative looks. Like he was looking over a horse for sale. Inuyasha decided to ignore it for now, since Jii-chan hadn't actually /said anything. Souta had finally caught her attention by asking Kagome if she had been studying for "finals" while in the other world, when Mama interrupted.
"Oh! I'm sorry I didn't give you this right away, dear, but it slipped my mind with your other news." She got up for a moment and returned with an envelope, which she handed to Kagome. Peering at the return address, Kagome paled.
"It's from the national college examination board," she explained to Inuyasha. Not that he knew what the hell that was. Nervously fumbling a bit, she tore it open and drew out the letter inside. "Well, let's see how bad I did..." She scanned it, and froze. "I passed," she whispered. "Mama, I passed!" She jumped up and grabbed her mother in an excited hug, laughing. Mama laughed with her, pleased.
She let go of her mother to look at the letter again. "Yes! Even Naraku couldn't stop me from going to college!" She ignored Inuyasha's sudden frown, and sighed happily, her eyes sparkling.
"I'm so happy for you, dear!" Mama stroked her hair proudly. "Well, what's next? I know you took entrance exams for at least a couple of universities..." Kagome started in surprise at that last question.
"I almost forgot, with everything else going on. Yes, I took the exams for two, and I hope I get in to at least one of them. Otherwise I'll be stuck as a ronin until next year." She sighed. "Anyway, I have to finish high school before anything else."
Inuyasha turned to Mama, his eyebrows raised in disbelief.
"Wait, she's got more school?"
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He went back to the roof after Kagome had gone back upstairs to study; he considered going for a run to clear his mind, since his thoughts were still running in circles. As he scanned the glaring lights of the horizon, looking for a direction to go in, he contrasted his sense of being hopelessly adrift with Kagome's certainty. School, school and more school, she had a constant in her life, a purpose. It seemed she had her future mapped out. /And are you in it? /a small voice whispered in the back of his mind.
Purpose. What had he ever had? An uncertain existence, that's what; orphaned at an early age, bare survival for years. He'd hoped he had found his destiny when he'd heard of the Shikon no Tama; a chance to be powerful, to no longer be scorned as a hanyou, a chance to carve out a territory and a place for himself. What he'd found instead was an unexpected hope for another life entirely, with Kikyou. He would have accepted living as a human if he had been able to share that life with someone else; Kikyou had seemed to offer that. That life had turned out to be nothing but a daydream, a wisp of smoke in the wind, easily destroyed by Naraku and the habits of distrust common to him and to the guardian of the Shikon no Tama. They'd betrayed each other and died.
Then Kagome had brought him back, and gave him new purpose; at first to get the jewel from her, and then to search for the shards after she shattered it. And then things had gotten complicated. He flinched from the thought of a life without Kagome. With a shudder he jumped from the roof and shot off, not caring where he went. He just had to get moving.
He could run, feel the breath rush in his lungs, feel his muscles bunch and flex as he leaped from building to building in this strange world. He could go wherever he wanted, he was free. However, his thoughts and feelings could not be outrun. He had Kagome, and he felt a fierce joy at that, but his other friends' faces rose before him. Miroku and Sango and Kaede, his friends and comrades, and that meant so much, to him that had always been alone. With the shock of knowing he could never go back, he was still registering that it also meant he would never see them again. It seemed impossible that they were lost, that they had been dead for centuries, if what Kagome said about the time difference was true. He had seen and smelled them all this morning. And now they were gone, just like that. This was almost like waking up after Kikyou shot him--finding out that fifty years had passed in the blink of an eye, and that she was long dead and gone, ashes. Dust.
He flicked a stray hair out of his eyes as he paused at a wide intersection, and considered changing direction. It was possible that Kirara, Myouga, and Shippou were still around, though he hadn't any idea where to look for them. Shippou. Despite the rough front he put up around the brat, he really cared for him and worried about his welfare. He'd taken some satisfaction in saving the orphaned kit from the life he himself had faced as a child; Shippou had had Kagome to look after and coddle him and Inuyasha to protect him. He'd started to teach the eager kit how to scent and track, with an eye towards teaching him to hunt larger prey when he got bigger, and made sure to curb his excesses-when Kagome let him. Damned spoiled-rotten brat. He hoped Miroku and Sango would continue to look after him...had looked after him. He shook his head. This time travel thing suddenly seemed more difficult to comprehend; he could no longer think of his friends in the /now/, and had to deal with a few centuries of distance. While he thought that his friends would do their best to help and guide the kid, Shippou was still youkai, and he doubted they would be able to rein him in as he got older. Shippou was half-wild as it was; Inuyasha grimaced thinking of the kind of tricks, pranks and trouble the brat would get into, in a human village, without a restraint on his kitsune nature. Hopefully he'd survived the centuries, and would turn up somewhere.
He let out a breath softly, staring at the cars crawling on the street below. He wondered if there was a way to find out what had happened to their friends after they were cut off, if only to /know/, and not be uncertain forever; if there was something recorded in one of Kagome's books, for instance. There seemed to be all sorts of weird details in her history books, though he would have thought that she'd have said something if she came across a mention of them in her text. And if there were any clues to be had, he could look for the kitsune. If only Myouga was still around, or maybe that old geezer Toutousai, he could ask them, but he faced the same problem with them as with Shippou. Though maybe Toutousai hadn't moved from his last location...
He shook his head. He didn't want to think about this any more, dammit. Keep running. Get a look around, maybe. e He hadn't done much reconnaissance previously; whenever in Kagome's world, he'd not been interested much in exploring-it stank and was noisy here, and he'd usually concentrated on dragging Kagome back as soon as possible to the real world. He was stuck in this weird place now, though; he reluctantly decided that, if he was here to stay, then he'd better become familiar with it. It was hard to overlay his memory of the lands around the village over these streets teeming with humans, their cars, their buildings, but the shrine was in the same place. He looked over his shoulder at it in the distance; the forested hill rose darkly over the surrounding area, lit in relatively few spots, the shrine among them, on its shadowy flanks.
At least here he didn't think he needed to worry much about demons attacking. There really didn't seem to be any/. Roads and buildings flowed for miles in every direction, covering the places where there used to be forests, rivers, swamps, any sort of place that youkai could live. There were exceptions to the dearth of youkai, though. He knew there were kitsune and tanuki in numbers in this city, perhaps because it was easy for those two tribes to disguise themselves and blend in; he'd scented them on the wind, none close nearby. They would be unlikely to present a threat to Kagome or her family. It would be best to make sure, though, that they were the only/ demons in the area.
After casting about a bit, he decided to head west; it was as good a direction as any, and he hadn't traveled that way often. Neither Kagome's old school nor the new one lay that way. He moved off, swiftly and silently, leaping from one apartment block roof to another, and then running along the ridgepoles of low houses. He was able to go very fast indeed, and the feel of the wind in his hair, the blood rushing through his veins, was as exhilarating as always. His senses were wide open for the slightest hint of any youkai. He hadn't gone very far, carefully noting landmarks and places of interest, when he came across the scent of a concentration of kitsune, somewhere up ahead of him. He slowed and cautiously followed his nose, and finally spotted his quarry. He perched on the rooftop of a building across the street, conveniently downwind from it.
It was a shrine to Inari. Of course, there's always kitsune around those. Inuyasha recalled that there had been a small shrine here hundreds of years ago, but this was a large complex. He could see the statues of foxes that sometimes marked the entrance to shrines to the rice god, as they were supposed to be Inari's servants and messengers. The figures stood on both sides of the entrance steps, and what appeared to be smaller foxes-fox kits?-were frozen in an attitude of play at their feet. However, two of the figures weren't stone; they smelled like live kitsune, an adult male and female. He tested the air carefully; he didn't detect any kitsune here that matched Shippou's scent. For a moment Inuyasha contemplated contact, maybe to ask about Shippou or to gather some gossip about the state of youkai society hereabouts, such as it was. But then he dismissed the thought, for now. He had plenty of time and more ground to cover. He could come back when he was more settled in, and find out how many more kitsune lived here; definitely more than just these two. He changed direction again, circumspectly going around the shrine to the north, and continued on, feeling assured that he wouldn't be noticed.
He decided that the large cemetery with an enormous number of ghosts flitting around in it, that even he could sense, would be the northwest boundary of his range. He sure as hell didn't want that many ghosts in his territory; let some other poor bastard have them. He did notice a human kid sitting on a flat-topped hill within the cemetery bounds. He idly hoped for the kid's sake that he didn't realize how haunted his hangout was. He turned and started his circular way back. He didn't come across any more solid evidence of other demons, though there were some interesting scents on the wind-a hint of feline youkai? Not Kirara, though. It would figure, cats would probably be able to adapt to this environment. And then, the faintest trace of something else- something powerful. He stopped and breathed deep, trying to catch the scent again, but maddeningly, it was gone. Damn. Well, with his luck it would be his fucking brother. He'd try again tomorrow night; if there was a taiyoukai about, he wanted to find it, preferably before it found him. Or where he lived.
It was quite late when he made it back to the Higurashi shrine; seeing that Kagome's light was still on, he swung down to her window. She was sitting at her desk, her head down on her crossed arms, sleeping. Her books were open under her arms. Looking at her hunched in that ridiculous position, his face softened for a moment. He shook her shoulder gently. "Kagome."
The girl lifted her head muzzily. "Wha? Oh, Inuyasha..." She rubbed her eyes and looked down at the topmost book, its pages creased from being slept on.
"You're in no condition to be looking at books. Go to bed. Come on," Inuyasha took her arm and pulled her, reluctant, out of her chair and maneuvered her to her bed. She lay down on it, and blinked up at him sleepily.
"Where were you earlier? I was looking for you."
"Out." He didn't elaborate.
She lifted herself up on one elbow, concerned. "Make sure you don't attract any attention, Inuyasha. It's important that you aren't discovered as a youkai."
"Nobody will see me if I don't want to be seen," he huffed, crossing his arms. As if he had anything to worry about from this era's humans. They wouldn't know the first thing to do with a youkai. Though he did wonder what had happened to all the ones not disguised...
"Mama set up a futon for you in the living room." Kagome yawned as she reached for her alarm clock. She squinted as she set it.
"I'm not sleeping down there."
"Well, you can't sleep in here." She replaced the clock on her nightstand and pulled the covers back.
"Fine, wench. I'm going outside."
"Suit yourself." She managed to convey reproach without even looking at him. "It's just too bad Mama went through the trouble of setting up a place for you when you don't appreciate it."
Inuyasha flattened his ears in annoyance, uncrossing his arms. "Now wait just a minute, you-"
"Mama wants you to feel at home, you know. The living room is the only extra room in the house that you can have to yourself to sleep in, and she was worried you'd be uncomfortable. You don't want her to think her efforts were for nothing, do you?" She looked up at him, her eyes narrowed.
Inuyasha cringed at her glare, but still felt he needed to put up some resistance. Besides, if he was going to sleep in the house, this was the room he felt the most secure in. "I'm not sleeping there, bitch! I can hear the old man snoring up here, there's no way I could ignore it downstairs!"
Kagome sighed. "Just go down there tonight, Inuyasha, and tomorrow we'll figure out something else." She yawned again and fell back against the pillow, drawing the covers over her. "Go on, go downstairs. I'll see you in the morning." She rolled on her side away from him, clearly a dismissal.
"Dammit, bitch-"
"Good /night/, Inuyasha." She reached back without looking and turned off her bedside lamp. Cursing and grumbling under his breath, Inuyasha went downstairs, flopping down on the futon in disgust. As predicted, Jii-chan's snores echoed loudly in his ears. It was going to be a long night
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Usually in dreams, even the strangest things seemed normal, at least until you woke up. Here, she knew that what she was seeing was backwards, divorced from reality. She was staring across at herself, her Kagome-self, who was concentrating wholly on the Shikon no Tama. Beautiful and deadly, the completed Jewel floated centimeters from their cupped hands, glowing a pulsing pinkish light. The Kagome-self coruscated with a powerful aura, eyes closed in total absorption in the task before them. She was aware of the forces involved, the specific mental disciplines, the formulae she used to accomplish their shared task; she felt the power gathering within her even as the shell she wore fractured under the stress. An orb of force emerged from their effort, crackling blue-white, to surround the Shikon. With senses she dimly knew she possessed she examined the sphere for weaknesses, and assessed the strength of both her selves for the next step; satisfied, she exerted her will, channeling their power, and the Jewel began dissolving.
/Almost immediately dark hideous thrashing and flailing was discernible within the globe, safely contained, as it brightened further with white light. The light gathered and separated from the orb, collecting itself into an enormous glowing soul, and began to form a human shape, which took its place beside the two of them. The Kagome-self had not opened her eyes, and stood locked into position. The third figure had resolved into the nebulous aspect of a woman wearing antique armor, with a similar expression of concentration on her face. She felt immense satisfaction. Now she could gather up her murderer and the sphere, discard her disintegrating clay husk, and open the pathway to hell. The last thing she saw before her eyes fragmented and crumbled away was the Kagome-self's eyes opening and widening in horror.../
Kagome gasped and sat up. God, Kikyou's memories. She remembered well what had happened after that, but now she was beginning to understand her predecessor's methods and intent, both when she was human, and later, when she was not. Not a comforting parting-gift. Thanks, Kikyou. She wondered if there was a reason her subconscious had brought this specific knowledge to her attention, or if it was simply that she was still adjusting to the raw flood of information and experiences that had been poured into her. But what's the use of it? /she thought, half-angrily. /Will I ever use these skills, this knowledge, again?
Her bedroom door opened quietly, and she heard Inuyasha whisper "Kagome?"
"I had a dream, that's all. It woke me up. Was I talking in my sleep or something?"
He came into the room, a pale figure outlined by the dim glow of city lights seeping in her window. He crouched at her bedside, and she felt his fingers lightly touch the hand she was resting on top of the bedcovers. "You're always mumbling in your sleep, woman. It sounded like a bad dream, so I thought I'd check this time."
She sighed. "It was about the Shikon Jewel. Nothing to worry about now." She grasped his hand and gave it a light squeeze. "How are you doing?"
He grunted. "I told you I couldn't sleep down there."
She smiled, hearing the faint echo of her grandfather's snores downstairs. "We'll think of something else, Inuyasha. Jii-chan was talking about clearing out the back room of the shrine office so you could have your own space. It would be quiet there, at least at night." He grunted again, dubiously this time. "How did you manage when we stayed with Kaede? She snored sometimes, too."
"I did the same thing I was going to do tonight, wench- I went up to the roof." He squeezed her hand back gently, and held it tentatively. "Kagome, I've been thinking...is there any way to find out what happened to the others? One of the things you study is history." He sighed. "And I guess they're history now, to us. Do any of your books talk about them?" He paused, uncertainly. She couldn't see his face, his expression. "I'd like to find the runt, if he's still around, but I wouldn't know where to start in this place."
/Shippou...Sango...Miroku...history. /She was silent for a moment as the knowledge crawled over her brain. "I don't know if there's a way to find out. The history books I've read so far don't say anything about any of us...them." Grief suddenly overwhelmed her; she hadn't allowed herself to think yet of the loss incurred by the well's closing. "I, I'll ask my grandfather in the morning if there are any shrine records. He's been telling me stories for years and I haven't l-listened-" Her voice hitched on the last word as her throat closed and tears began to fill her eyes.
"Oi! Kagome! Don't cry now, you've got to go back to sleep!" He sounded flustered, and was probably regretting bringing up the subject, she thought. "I'll bet that fucking runt of a kitsune will turn up one of these days, he'll come here and annoy the hell out of you, and then you'll never get any studying done...come on, Kagome, stop crying." He sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, still holding her hand.
"Shippou...I promised him I'd come back..." A sob escaped her. She felt horrible for suppressing her feelings about them all day, having instead concentrated on the relief she felt that Inuyasha was with her, and the immediacy of her life here. They were really gone. She would never see them, speak to them again; never see Sango and Miroku's children. If Shippou actually did still live, why hadn't he found her here? Was he angry with her for disappearing so long ago? She began to shake with the sobs that she tried to keep quiet, and the tears began to spill down her face. She could tell from Inuyasha's sputtering and the way he was clutching her hand now that she was upsetting him, but she felt helpless to stop the flood of emotion washing over her.
"Dammit-" Suddenly he grabbed her firmly and was holding her in a tight embrace. "Stop crying, Kagome." His action surprised her into obeying; she stopped and held still in his arms, betrayed only by brief trembling and a hiccupping breath. He stroked her hair with one hand, hesitantly, and continued when she didn't object. She felt the press of his body against hers, the familiar scent of his fire-rat clothes surround her, and closed her eyes, her breath calming; her arms went around him to hold him closer. She blotted her tears on his shoulder and savored his warmth. All thoughts fled. They stayed like that for a few moments, not long enough, before he let go, slowly. His eyes, glimmering gold in the dark, seemed to bore into hers for a long moment, then he stood up. "Sleep, Kagome. It'll be all right."
/Yes...he's here, and we're together. /She let herself feel comforted, and slowly lay back down, blinking up at him.
He seemed to hesitate, and then he was leaning over her, his hair ticklish on her neck, and giving her a fleeting kiss on the lips. Then he was gone, out the door before she could say anything. She pressed her fingers to her lips, wonderingly. He kissed me...
She smiled and turned on her side, sorrows temporarily forgotten, and drifted into slumber.
TBC
Disclaimer: Inuyasha and associated characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi.
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Chapter 2
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Inuyasha felt Kagome vanish from his hands and panicked. He saw the lights of the transition briefly, but they faded when Kagome did and he landed on the bottom of the shaft in his own time, the familiar scents of the meadow and Shippou filtering down. "Dammit! KAGOME!" he roared. Where the hell was she? He could hear the alarmed shriek of the child above, but had no time to answer him. Jumping up near the top of the well, he let himself drop down, but the well didn't activate. "NO! You're going to let me through! I'm not fucking giving her up now! KAGOME!" He could still smell her on the other side, the way he usually could, but was it fading. He stopped for a moment and concentrated his senses. He could smell the salt of her tears, and did he actually hear her voice, screaming his name? He jumped up again, clinging to the side of the shaft, and concentrated with all his being on finding her. He let himself drop, willing the well to work this time, and sought her with nose and ears, hands outstretched to grab hold of her and never let her go. Fuck if the well was going to stop him.
This time it worked. He felt himself falling- /finally/- into the formless space that he had passed through without effort countless times before, but it wasn't so easy now. There was resistance, a pulling back to where he had come from. He pushed himself forward relentlessly, feeling the force of his youki reacting with whatever power it was that activated the time slip, and perhaps with Kagome's power as well-something burned like fire. The first time he had come after Kagome through the well, he had simply followed her scent to her world, but this time he sensed he was forcing a new pathway. Close, so close-he could hear her calling and smell her clearly, and then he was /there/, with her, fingers brushing her shoulders and then grabbing and gripping her tightly to him.
She started with surprise and then wound her arms around his neck, chokingly tight, as she sobbed his name. He was there with her, in her time. He closed his eyes and held her, heart pounding. "Kagome. I'm here. I'm here with you." He whispered her name a few more times, hoping to calm her and stop those tears. Then she was kissing him, the taste of her lips salty, and he was lost in the sensation and wonder of it for a moment as he responded, kissing her back. She drew back suddenly, flushed and gasping, to gaze into his eyes. They stared at each other, while he wondered wildly what he should say or do; thankfully, Kagome broke the silence first.
"Inuyasha. I thought I had lost you." She trembled slightly in his arms; he shuddered to think that he had nearly lost her. He reached up and gently wiped the tears from her face with his thumb, careful with his claws. He could drown in the wide-eyed, vulnerable look she was giving him, full of emotion that he couldn't name, but was nearly squeezing the breath from his lungs. She sniffled delicately. "What happened? Did the well work for you? Can you still go back?" She looked up at the roof of the well house; he followed her glance. They were definitely in her time.
He couldn't smell anything now but the musty well house, the nasty air of her time, and them. The scents of the meadow in the Sengoku Jidai, Shippou, the fading traces of their friends-they were gone, and any residual magic aura from the well was gone too. Slowly he shook his head. "It was all I could do to come through. I don't think I can go back." He looked at her carefully to gauge her reaction. "You're stuck with me."
She drew her arms around him again, this time in a gentle embrace, and breathed in his ear, "That's all I ever wanted, Inuyasha."
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The well was truly and inalterably shut. At Kagome's insistence, they had tried to activate the well one more time. Inuyasha hadn't wanted to chance being separated again, but Kagome felt that they couldn't abandon their friends so easily, and he had acquiesced, unwilling to surrender. They had climbed up to the lip and jumped together-Inuyasha had gripped her around the waist and held her to him so tightly that she squeaked, but he noticed that she had squeezed her fists in a deathgrip on his haori as well. It came to nothing, though, as they landed together at the bottom of the shaft without any reaction from the well. They exchanged glances; Kagome bit her lip, but said nothing-her anguished expression spoke volumes. He gritted his teeth, but could find nothing to say. Tacitly admitting defeat, he crouched down so she could get on his back, and he took them both up and out of the well.
The weather on this side was crisp and cold, the sky clear and blue. They crossed the courtyard, headed for the house. Inuyasha was only now beginning to understand the enormity of what had just happened-/there was no going back./ He felt oppressed by the brilliant morning sun pouring down, heartlessly cheerful. It seemed cruel, while the two of them were cut off from their friends, and exiled from the world he had known, the one that made sense. And Kagome- he felt helpless in the face of her misery, her shoulders slumped, her tears barely contained. Then she turned to look at him when they reached her house, bravely attempting an encouraging smile despite her own heartache. The morning sunlight gilded her hair and her features seemed to glow, heart-stoppingly beautiful, and he felt he could forgive the sun goddess this time.
Her mother, grandfather and brother were all in the kitchen, eating breakfast, and greeted them with surprise and pleasure. Inuyasha perched on a chair with the bowl of rice her mother offered him, trying to suppress his agitation, his head still whirling in confusion. This was not his world; what would he do here? He pushed the unfamiliar anxiety down and away, and forced himself to pay attention to Kagome, who was gathering herself to tell them what had happened in response to their questions. She took a deep breath, and related a sketchy version of the events of the last few weeks-their pursuit of Naraku, the skirmishes, the final battle, finishing with the news that the well was now closed. There was silence for a moment. A slow, relieved smile dawned on Mama's lips.
"Kagome, you've done it. You've all done it. And you're home safe," she said.
Jii-chan cackled triumphantly. "I knew you could do it! A Higurashi could do no less!"
"Inu no niichan, does that mean you'll be here all the time from now on?" Souta was staring at him with a hopeful expression.
Inuyasha didn't look up from his bowl. "Looks that way, kid."
"This is going to be awesome! Wait till I show you the new games I got!" /Huh? Oh, those 'video' things. /The boy jumped up and looked like he wanted to demonstrate /right now/, but his mother gently forestalled him.
"Souta, you have to go or you'll be late for school."
Groaning, Souta regretfully picked up his bookbag to head out, after assuring Inuyasha that they could play when he got home. Inuyasha had listened with half an ear and appeared to concentrate on his food until the boy left, though he was really paying attention to the adults' reactions.
"How are you feeling, Kagome?" Mama asked, concerned, looking at the girl's worn and patched school uniform. Kagome herself looked drawn and weary. She had refused any breakfast, and sat with her arms resting on the table.
"I'm tired and I want a bath," she sighed. She put her head down for a moment, then raised it to look at them. "On top of everything else, I've got to worry about finals, but I think I'm going to rest for a little bit before plunging back in."
"By all means, dear," her mother replied. "Take as much time as you want."
Kagome pushed herself to her feet and headed for the bath. With Kagome gone, Inuyasha was left sitting in silence at the table with Mama and Jii-chan. He fidgeted with the empty bowl for a moment before setting it down. He contemplated bolting. No, better get it over with. He looked up to find them both regarding him, Mama thoughtfully, Jii-chan speculatively, one hand playing with the tip of his beard.
"Inuyasha," Mama began, looking at him gravely. "Is it true that you cannot go back to your own time? You are here on this side of the well permanently?" The old man stared at him intently.
Shit, here it comes, he thought glumly. They're going to tell me to shove off, now that I'm no longer useful. Nobody ever wants a hanyou hanging around.
Well, tough shit. He was here now. Half-defiantly, he said, "Yeah, that's right. I'm on this side of the well for good." Somehow he couldn't bring himself to meet their eyes, though; he found himself averting his gaze to the view outside the window, and tried to harden his heart for the inevitable rejection. He wondered why the thought of these particular people telling him to go made his throat feel so tight. Angry with himself, he shook his head slightly. Maybe there's a place near here I can stay and be unnoticed. There are no forests nearby that I can tell, nothing but this little grove, but I have to be able to see Kagome...
Mama's voice cut through the gloomy thoughts like the sun through clouds, blinding him. "Well then, we'll have to think of where you're going to sleep. We don't have a guest room; we can put down a futon for you in the living room at night, until I can think of something better. Would that be all right, dear?" Inuyasha jerked his head around to stare at her in surprise; she was looking at him a little anxiously.
"You want me to stay here?" he blurted.
"Of course! Where else would you stay?" Suddenly she looked dismayed. "Unless you do have somewhere else? I apologize, Inuyasha, but I had assumed that you didn't have other friends or relatives in this time to stay with." He shook his head dumbly, still staring at her, and she smiled at him.
"We would be pleased to have you live with us, Inuyasha. Wouldn't we, Jii-chan?"
Next to her, the old man had been looking uncomfortable. But at her question he nodded stiffly. "Yes, the demon can stay. What's one more mouth to feed?"
Inuyasha drew himself up angrily. "You don't have to worry about that, Jijii. I can take care of myself."
"And you took good care of Kagome, too." Mama glared at Jii-chan, who looked away. "Don't worry about that, Inuyasha. We live very well off the income from the shrine. One more person is no problem. Would you like some eggs or sausage?"
Inuyasha pointedly refused, with a suspicious glance at the old man. Jii-chan harrumphed and got up, declaiming that he had work to do, and went out to the shrine.
His eyes followed the old man out, but he was still in a daze, thinking about what Mama had said. She wants me to live here. With them. He turned back to her at the sound of more tea being poured into his cup, and he found her regarding him kindly. She set the teapot down and looked into his eyes, suddenly serious.
"Inuyasha, thank you for protecting Kagome all this time. We owe you our gratitude." She stepped back, and to his amazement, gave him a deep and respectful bow. She straightened, and said in a voice that shook only slightly, "I know that she is here and safe because you were with her. Never doubt that you have a place here for as long as you want it." She held his gaze for an instant, and then with a shaky smile she looked away, and began gathering the breakfast dishes. Inuyasha picked up his tea and drank it, ignoring the tightness in his throat, stunned and speechless.
He went to Kagome's room shortly afterwards, to think and compose himself. Kagome took a long time in the bath; when he heard her coming up the stairs, he quickly vacated the room via the window, knowing she would want to dress. He came back some time after it had gotten quiet, to find her sleeping heavily, her rotund cat curled up against her. He sat on the tatami and just watched her sleep for a while. The creature opened one baleful yellow eye to stare at him, but it didn't stir, and when he failed to do anything interesting the eye closed. He leaned his back against the bed and closed his own eyes, arranging Tessaiga comfortably in the crook of his arm. He could rest here, wreathed in her scent, in the quiet of this place.
Some time later, Inuyasha woke from his doze at the feel of Kagome's fingers lightly running through some strands of his hair. He turned to face her; she was lying on her side facing him, and smiled a little apologetically when he turned around. "Sorry," she said in a low voice. "I just wanted...to be sure you were really there, and not a dream." Her hand was still extended from her, lying on the bedcover where she had let go of his hair. He reached over and gently touched the back of her hand.
"There, real enough for you? Just what is it about my hair that you're always yanking on it?" He smiled a little to make it plain he was kidding, and she grinned in answer. At that moment he heard steps starting up the stairs; he stood, stretching a little, and sat on the windowsill. He was staring out of it casually and Kagome had just sat up when her mother knocked at the half-open door and stuck her head in to announce lunch.
After they ate, Kagome sat at her desk and, incredibly, began studying. Apparently the world could end but she still had to study... He sat at the windowsill for a while, and then, bored, went off to sit in one of the trees near the house to observe the activity around the shrine. The rest of the day passed slowly and peacefully. He had never really paid much attention to what went on around the shrine, at least in this time; there were a lot of people coming and going, much more so than in his world, when Kaede had charge of it, or even before that, when Kikyou had been priestess here. Her grandfather looked like he kept pretty busy, though he mostly stayed in and around the shrine office. It didn't appear that he was conducting services in the main hall today. Maybe he only did so once a week; he was pretty old for a human, after all.
By the end of the day, Inuyasha had moved to the roof of the house, the better to hear the goings-on within. He had heard Souta ask for him when the kid got home from school, but he had wanted to stay up here and assimilate the events of today, and not be distracted for a while. He scratched his belly thoughtfully as he lay in a comfortable sprawl and stared out at the city lights coming on; it was dusk, but still so unnaturally bright. He wished he could have the familiar darkness again, and the light of the stars.
He snorted, annoyed with himself. What the hell was wrong with him? He was still with Kagome. Damned if he knew what he was going to do here, but still, he had managed to stay with her. He hadn't exactly made any plans back in the Sengoku Jidai, anyway, had he? He had never spent much time thinking about what would happen after they killed that bastard Naraku; he had been at a bit of a loss even before the well closed, actually. There were no more Shikon shards to find, no more Naraku to kill, and he no longer had Kikyou to worry over and feel responsible for. His hands clenched for a moment. Kikyou had had her own plans, not the same as theirs. She had used them all to her own ends, used her will to force events to the conclusion she had deemed necessary and right.
Kikyou...he didn't understand what she had become before the end; a power, a force barely contained in her crumbling shell by tremendous will. Clearly not the person she had been when alive, or even the vengeful, furious revenant she had been when first revived. He swallowed thickly, rigidly suppressing his grief and guilt. He did feel guilty and angry with himself for having put Kagome through so much uncertainty, and pain, over his unfinished business with her previous incarnation, since Kikyou apparently hadn't thought they had any business left to bother with. Kagome might know why, after what Kikyou did to her, he thought uneasily. He doubted he would ever get up the courage to ask her about it. It wasn't worth the pain it would give them both.
Kagome. He was still with Kagome, that was the most important thing to him. He pushed his dark thoughts aside, and he allowed himself a small smile at the memory of how she'd kissed him this morning-/kissed him!/-and what she'd said. What did that mean, and what would happen now? Although he'd not made any plans, somehow any future he'd half-imagined had always had Kagome in it. But what form would his life here take, with her?
In a way, it seemed that he had come full circle to where he had been when he met Kikyou. He had been alone, with no purpose calling him, but when he had seen her, he was drawn to her as if caught by a spell, one he hadn't been able to break. He had loved her when he had hardly even known what love was. And here he was again, alone but for Kagome, but willing to do whatever it took to stay with her. Because he loved her.
Her family's reaction to his permanent presence was beyond reassuring, though in his experience it was best to not be complacent with humans. Attitudes could change at a moment's notice if you were a stranger, which he was pretty much anywhere.
They said that he could live here. Could he really...have a place? And, he hardly dared to even think it to himself, would Kagome accept him as something more than her friend? Would her family? He had let down his guard once before, with Kikyou. But Kikyou, when alive, had conditions only under which she would consider a life with him. Kagome had never asked him to change, to be anything other than what he was, only to be with him.
His thoughts were interrupted by the scent of Kagome herself down below. "Inuyasha?" he heard her call softly. He leaned out over the edge of the roof to peer down at her. "Dinner," she said. "Mama's made oden. Hurry up or I'll eat yours." She grinned rather wolfishly at him and whisked back into the house. He swung down hastily to join her in the kitchen.
Mama didn't make oden very often, but then tonight must be a special occasion. They were celebrating the successful outcome of three years of danger and hardship. Kagome's sketchy rendition of the end of their quest from this morning was brought up again now by her curious family. He let her tell the story without interjection or interruption. She had always edited what she told her family to make it sound less dangerous, but Inuyasha could pick up from her tone that she did not want to discuss the consequences of Kikyou's... passing. Souta kept prodding for details, and Kagome clearly didn't want to recount them again; the brat finally subsided, wide-eyed, after Inuyasha growled his irritation.
The hanyou sat next to Kagome at the table and even managed to get seconds, beating her attempt to hog what was left of the oden. That girl could eat pretty fast. Inuyasha felt comfortably full, and sat back, idly observing the family dynamics: Kagome, having an animated discussion with her mother; Souta, trying to inject comments into their conversation; and Jii-chan, who was being...oddly quiet. The old man was definitely acting suspicious; every time Inuyasha glanced at him he caught the geezer giving him these looks/...speculative looks. Like he was looking over a horse for sale. Inuyasha decided to ignore it for now, since Jii-chan hadn't actually /said anything. Souta had finally caught her attention by asking Kagome if she had been studying for "finals" while in the other world, when Mama interrupted.
"Oh! I'm sorry I didn't give you this right away, dear, but it slipped my mind with your other news." She got up for a moment and returned with an envelope, which she handed to Kagome. Peering at the return address, Kagome paled.
"It's from the national college examination board," she explained to Inuyasha. Not that he knew what the hell that was. Nervously fumbling a bit, she tore it open and drew out the letter inside. "Well, let's see how bad I did..." She scanned it, and froze. "I passed," she whispered. "Mama, I passed!" She jumped up and grabbed her mother in an excited hug, laughing. Mama laughed with her, pleased.
She let go of her mother to look at the letter again. "Yes! Even Naraku couldn't stop me from going to college!" She ignored Inuyasha's sudden frown, and sighed happily, her eyes sparkling.
"I'm so happy for you, dear!" Mama stroked her hair proudly. "Well, what's next? I know you took entrance exams for at least a couple of universities..." Kagome started in surprise at that last question.
"I almost forgot, with everything else going on. Yes, I took the exams for two, and I hope I get in to at least one of them. Otherwise I'll be stuck as a ronin until next year." She sighed. "Anyway, I have to finish high school before anything else."
Inuyasha turned to Mama, his eyebrows raised in disbelief.
"Wait, she's got more school?"
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He went back to the roof after Kagome had gone back upstairs to study; he considered going for a run to clear his mind, since his thoughts were still running in circles. As he scanned the glaring lights of the horizon, looking for a direction to go in, he contrasted his sense of being hopelessly adrift with Kagome's certainty. School, school and more school, she had a constant in her life, a purpose. It seemed she had her future mapped out. /And are you in it? /a small voice whispered in the back of his mind.
Purpose. What had he ever had? An uncertain existence, that's what; orphaned at an early age, bare survival for years. He'd hoped he had found his destiny when he'd heard of the Shikon no Tama; a chance to be powerful, to no longer be scorned as a hanyou, a chance to carve out a territory and a place for himself. What he'd found instead was an unexpected hope for another life entirely, with Kikyou. He would have accepted living as a human if he had been able to share that life with someone else; Kikyou had seemed to offer that. That life had turned out to be nothing but a daydream, a wisp of smoke in the wind, easily destroyed by Naraku and the habits of distrust common to him and to the guardian of the Shikon no Tama. They'd betrayed each other and died.
Then Kagome had brought him back, and gave him new purpose; at first to get the jewel from her, and then to search for the shards after she shattered it. And then things had gotten complicated. He flinched from the thought of a life without Kagome. With a shudder he jumped from the roof and shot off, not caring where he went. He just had to get moving.
He could run, feel the breath rush in his lungs, feel his muscles bunch and flex as he leaped from building to building in this strange world. He could go wherever he wanted, he was free. However, his thoughts and feelings could not be outrun. He had Kagome, and he felt a fierce joy at that, but his other friends' faces rose before him. Miroku and Sango and Kaede, his friends and comrades, and that meant so much, to him that had always been alone. With the shock of knowing he could never go back, he was still registering that it also meant he would never see them again. It seemed impossible that they were lost, that they had been dead for centuries, if what Kagome said about the time difference was true. He had seen and smelled them all this morning. And now they were gone, just like that. This was almost like waking up after Kikyou shot him--finding out that fifty years had passed in the blink of an eye, and that she was long dead and gone, ashes. Dust.
He flicked a stray hair out of his eyes as he paused at a wide intersection, and considered changing direction. It was possible that Kirara, Myouga, and Shippou were still around, though he hadn't any idea where to look for them. Shippou. Despite the rough front he put up around the brat, he really cared for him and worried about his welfare. He'd taken some satisfaction in saving the orphaned kit from the life he himself had faced as a child; Shippou had had Kagome to look after and coddle him and Inuyasha to protect him. He'd started to teach the eager kit how to scent and track, with an eye towards teaching him to hunt larger prey when he got bigger, and made sure to curb his excesses-when Kagome let him. Damned spoiled-rotten brat. He hoped Miroku and Sango would continue to look after him...had looked after him. He shook his head. This time travel thing suddenly seemed more difficult to comprehend; he could no longer think of his friends in the /now/, and had to deal with a few centuries of distance. While he thought that his friends would do their best to help and guide the kid, Shippou was still youkai, and he doubted they would be able to rein him in as he got older. Shippou was half-wild as it was; Inuyasha grimaced thinking of the kind of tricks, pranks and trouble the brat would get into, in a human village, without a restraint on his kitsune nature. Hopefully he'd survived the centuries, and would turn up somewhere.
He let out a breath softly, staring at the cars crawling on the street below. He wondered if there was a way to find out what had happened to their friends after they were cut off, if only to /know/, and not be uncertain forever; if there was something recorded in one of Kagome's books, for instance. There seemed to be all sorts of weird details in her history books, though he would have thought that she'd have said something if she came across a mention of them in her text. And if there were any clues to be had, he could look for the kitsune. If only Myouga was still around, or maybe that old geezer Toutousai, he could ask them, but he faced the same problem with them as with Shippou. Though maybe Toutousai hadn't moved from his last location...
He shook his head. He didn't want to think about this any more, dammit. Keep running. Get a look around, maybe. e He hadn't done much reconnaissance previously; whenever in Kagome's world, he'd not been interested much in exploring-it stank and was noisy here, and he'd usually concentrated on dragging Kagome back as soon as possible to the real world. He was stuck in this weird place now, though; he reluctantly decided that, if he was here to stay, then he'd better become familiar with it. It was hard to overlay his memory of the lands around the village over these streets teeming with humans, their cars, their buildings, but the shrine was in the same place. He looked over his shoulder at it in the distance; the forested hill rose darkly over the surrounding area, lit in relatively few spots, the shrine among them, on its shadowy flanks.
At least here he didn't think he needed to worry much about demons attacking. There really didn't seem to be any/. Roads and buildings flowed for miles in every direction, covering the places where there used to be forests, rivers, swamps, any sort of place that youkai could live. There were exceptions to the dearth of youkai, though. He knew there were kitsune and tanuki in numbers in this city, perhaps because it was easy for those two tribes to disguise themselves and blend in; he'd scented them on the wind, none close nearby. They would be unlikely to present a threat to Kagome or her family. It would be best to make sure, though, that they were the only/ demons in the area.
After casting about a bit, he decided to head west; it was as good a direction as any, and he hadn't traveled that way often. Neither Kagome's old school nor the new one lay that way. He moved off, swiftly and silently, leaping from one apartment block roof to another, and then running along the ridgepoles of low houses. He was able to go very fast indeed, and the feel of the wind in his hair, the blood rushing through his veins, was as exhilarating as always. His senses were wide open for the slightest hint of any youkai. He hadn't gone very far, carefully noting landmarks and places of interest, when he came across the scent of a concentration of kitsune, somewhere up ahead of him. He slowed and cautiously followed his nose, and finally spotted his quarry. He perched on the rooftop of a building across the street, conveniently downwind from it.
It was a shrine to Inari. Of course, there's always kitsune around those. Inuyasha recalled that there had been a small shrine here hundreds of years ago, but this was a large complex. He could see the statues of foxes that sometimes marked the entrance to shrines to the rice god, as they were supposed to be Inari's servants and messengers. The figures stood on both sides of the entrance steps, and what appeared to be smaller foxes-fox kits?-were frozen in an attitude of play at their feet. However, two of the figures weren't stone; they smelled like live kitsune, an adult male and female. He tested the air carefully; he didn't detect any kitsune here that matched Shippou's scent. For a moment Inuyasha contemplated contact, maybe to ask about Shippou or to gather some gossip about the state of youkai society hereabouts, such as it was. But then he dismissed the thought, for now. He had plenty of time and more ground to cover. He could come back when he was more settled in, and find out how many more kitsune lived here; definitely more than just these two. He changed direction again, circumspectly going around the shrine to the north, and continued on, feeling assured that he wouldn't be noticed.
He decided that the large cemetery with an enormous number of ghosts flitting around in it, that even he could sense, would be the northwest boundary of his range. He sure as hell didn't want that many ghosts in his territory; let some other poor bastard have them. He did notice a human kid sitting on a flat-topped hill within the cemetery bounds. He idly hoped for the kid's sake that he didn't realize how haunted his hangout was. He turned and started his circular way back. He didn't come across any more solid evidence of other demons, though there were some interesting scents on the wind-a hint of feline youkai? Not Kirara, though. It would figure, cats would probably be able to adapt to this environment. And then, the faintest trace of something else- something powerful. He stopped and breathed deep, trying to catch the scent again, but maddeningly, it was gone. Damn. Well, with his luck it would be his fucking brother. He'd try again tomorrow night; if there was a taiyoukai about, he wanted to find it, preferably before it found him. Or where he lived.
It was quite late when he made it back to the Higurashi shrine; seeing that Kagome's light was still on, he swung down to her window. She was sitting at her desk, her head down on her crossed arms, sleeping. Her books were open under her arms. Looking at her hunched in that ridiculous position, his face softened for a moment. He shook her shoulder gently. "Kagome."
The girl lifted her head muzzily. "Wha? Oh, Inuyasha..." She rubbed her eyes and looked down at the topmost book, its pages creased from being slept on.
"You're in no condition to be looking at books. Go to bed. Come on," Inuyasha took her arm and pulled her, reluctant, out of her chair and maneuvered her to her bed. She lay down on it, and blinked up at him sleepily.
"Where were you earlier? I was looking for you."
"Out." He didn't elaborate.
She lifted herself up on one elbow, concerned. "Make sure you don't attract any attention, Inuyasha. It's important that you aren't discovered as a youkai."
"Nobody will see me if I don't want to be seen," he huffed, crossing his arms. As if he had anything to worry about from this era's humans. They wouldn't know the first thing to do with a youkai. Though he did wonder what had happened to all the ones not disguised...
"Mama set up a futon for you in the living room." Kagome yawned as she reached for her alarm clock. She squinted as she set it.
"I'm not sleeping down there."
"Well, you can't sleep in here." She replaced the clock on her nightstand and pulled the covers back.
"Fine, wench. I'm going outside."
"Suit yourself." She managed to convey reproach without even looking at him. "It's just too bad Mama went through the trouble of setting up a place for you when you don't appreciate it."
Inuyasha flattened his ears in annoyance, uncrossing his arms. "Now wait just a minute, you-"
"Mama wants you to feel at home, you know. The living room is the only extra room in the house that you can have to yourself to sleep in, and she was worried you'd be uncomfortable. You don't want her to think her efforts were for nothing, do you?" She looked up at him, her eyes narrowed.
Inuyasha cringed at her glare, but still felt he needed to put up some resistance. Besides, if he was going to sleep in the house, this was the room he felt the most secure in. "I'm not sleeping there, bitch! I can hear the old man snoring up here, there's no way I could ignore it downstairs!"
Kagome sighed. "Just go down there tonight, Inuyasha, and tomorrow we'll figure out something else." She yawned again and fell back against the pillow, drawing the covers over her. "Go on, go downstairs. I'll see you in the morning." She rolled on her side away from him, clearly a dismissal.
"Dammit, bitch-"
"Good /night/, Inuyasha." She reached back without looking and turned off her bedside lamp. Cursing and grumbling under his breath, Inuyasha went downstairs, flopping down on the futon in disgust. As predicted, Jii-chan's snores echoed loudly in his ears. It was going to be a long night
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Usually in dreams, even the strangest things seemed normal, at least until you woke up. Here, she knew that what she was seeing was backwards, divorced from reality. She was staring across at herself, her Kagome-self, who was concentrating wholly on the Shikon no Tama. Beautiful and deadly, the completed Jewel floated centimeters from their cupped hands, glowing a pulsing pinkish light. The Kagome-self coruscated with a powerful aura, eyes closed in total absorption in the task before them. She was aware of the forces involved, the specific mental disciplines, the formulae she used to accomplish their shared task; she felt the power gathering within her even as the shell she wore fractured under the stress. An orb of force emerged from their effort, crackling blue-white, to surround the Shikon. With senses she dimly knew she possessed she examined the sphere for weaknesses, and assessed the strength of both her selves for the next step; satisfied, she exerted her will, channeling their power, and the Jewel began dissolving.
/Almost immediately dark hideous thrashing and flailing was discernible within the globe, safely contained, as it brightened further with white light. The light gathered and separated from the orb, collecting itself into an enormous glowing soul, and began to form a human shape, which took its place beside the two of them. The Kagome-self had not opened her eyes, and stood locked into position. The third figure had resolved into the nebulous aspect of a woman wearing antique armor, with a similar expression of concentration on her face. She felt immense satisfaction. Now she could gather up her murderer and the sphere, discard her disintegrating clay husk, and open the pathway to hell. The last thing she saw before her eyes fragmented and crumbled away was the Kagome-self's eyes opening and widening in horror.../
Kagome gasped and sat up. God, Kikyou's memories. She remembered well what had happened after that, but now she was beginning to understand her predecessor's methods and intent, both when she was human, and later, when she was not. Not a comforting parting-gift. Thanks, Kikyou. She wondered if there was a reason her subconscious had brought this specific knowledge to her attention, or if it was simply that she was still adjusting to the raw flood of information and experiences that had been poured into her. But what's the use of it? /she thought, half-angrily. /Will I ever use these skills, this knowledge, again?
Her bedroom door opened quietly, and she heard Inuyasha whisper "Kagome?"
"I had a dream, that's all. It woke me up. Was I talking in my sleep or something?"
He came into the room, a pale figure outlined by the dim glow of city lights seeping in her window. He crouched at her bedside, and she felt his fingers lightly touch the hand she was resting on top of the bedcovers. "You're always mumbling in your sleep, woman. It sounded like a bad dream, so I thought I'd check this time."
She sighed. "It was about the Shikon Jewel. Nothing to worry about now." She grasped his hand and gave it a light squeeze. "How are you doing?"
He grunted. "I told you I couldn't sleep down there."
She smiled, hearing the faint echo of her grandfather's snores downstairs. "We'll think of something else, Inuyasha. Jii-chan was talking about clearing out the back room of the shrine office so you could have your own space. It would be quiet there, at least at night." He grunted again, dubiously this time. "How did you manage when we stayed with Kaede? She snored sometimes, too."
"I did the same thing I was going to do tonight, wench- I went up to the roof." He squeezed her hand back gently, and held it tentatively. "Kagome, I've been thinking...is there any way to find out what happened to the others? One of the things you study is history." He sighed. "And I guess they're history now, to us. Do any of your books talk about them?" He paused, uncertainly. She couldn't see his face, his expression. "I'd like to find the runt, if he's still around, but I wouldn't know where to start in this place."
/Shippou...Sango...Miroku...history. /She was silent for a moment as the knowledge crawled over her brain. "I don't know if there's a way to find out. The history books I've read so far don't say anything about any of us...them." Grief suddenly overwhelmed her; she hadn't allowed herself to think yet of the loss incurred by the well's closing. "I, I'll ask my grandfather in the morning if there are any shrine records. He's been telling me stories for years and I haven't l-listened-" Her voice hitched on the last word as her throat closed and tears began to fill her eyes.
"Oi! Kagome! Don't cry now, you've got to go back to sleep!" He sounded flustered, and was probably regretting bringing up the subject, she thought. "I'll bet that fucking runt of a kitsune will turn up one of these days, he'll come here and annoy the hell out of you, and then you'll never get any studying done...come on, Kagome, stop crying." He sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, still holding her hand.
"Shippou...I promised him I'd come back..." A sob escaped her. She felt horrible for suppressing her feelings about them all day, having instead concentrated on the relief she felt that Inuyasha was with her, and the immediacy of her life here. They were really gone. She would never see them, speak to them again; never see Sango and Miroku's children. If Shippou actually did still live, why hadn't he found her here? Was he angry with her for disappearing so long ago? She began to shake with the sobs that she tried to keep quiet, and the tears began to spill down her face. She could tell from Inuyasha's sputtering and the way he was clutching her hand now that she was upsetting him, but she felt helpless to stop the flood of emotion washing over her.
"Dammit-" Suddenly he grabbed her firmly and was holding her in a tight embrace. "Stop crying, Kagome." His action surprised her into obeying; she stopped and held still in his arms, betrayed only by brief trembling and a hiccupping breath. He stroked her hair with one hand, hesitantly, and continued when she didn't object. She felt the press of his body against hers, the familiar scent of his fire-rat clothes surround her, and closed her eyes, her breath calming; her arms went around him to hold him closer. She blotted her tears on his shoulder and savored his warmth. All thoughts fled. They stayed like that for a few moments, not long enough, before he let go, slowly. His eyes, glimmering gold in the dark, seemed to bore into hers for a long moment, then he stood up. "Sleep, Kagome. It'll be all right."
/Yes...he's here, and we're together. /She let herself feel comforted, and slowly lay back down, blinking up at him.
He seemed to hesitate, and then he was leaning over her, his hair ticklish on her neck, and giving her a fleeting kiss on the lips. Then he was gone, out the door before she could say anything. She pressed her fingers to her lips, wonderingly. He kissed me...
She smiled and turned on her side, sorrows temporarily forgotten, and drifted into slumber.
TBC
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