Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Forever Feels Like Home

Chapter 6

by LOVELA 15 reviews

A blast from the past.

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres: Drama - Warnings: [!] [X] - Published: 2007-03-22 - Updated: 2007-03-22 - 3790 words - Complete

"What the hell was that, JB?" I asked pulling my arm out of his grasp as soon as we had exited the club.

"What do you mean?" he asked confused.

"You know I don't like violence and you go and punch Pete in the face! What the hell?" I asked again.

"You're really going to stand there and defend him right now? After everything you and I have been through this week?" he asked raising his voice.

"I'm not defending him!" I shouted not sounding so certain of my actions anymore.

"You are! You are defending him!" JB pointed at me.

"What were you thinking you were going to accomplish by punching him?" I asked starting to walk down the sidewalk as to not cause a scene.

"I thought I was going to show him that you're mine and he needs to stay away from you," JB said walking behind me.

I spun around to face him. I had my arms wrapped tightly around myself. It was chilly for a Chicago summer night.

"Well, next time, why don't you just whip it out and piss on my leg like a dog marking its territory," I spat in his face.

JB's eyes widened at my harsh words as I'm sure mine did too.

"Why are you getting so pissed?" JB yelled now.

I just shook my head and started walking again.

"I told you numerous times that I hate violence, JB. You shouldn't even be asking me why I am so pissed," I said loudly as I walked quickly down the street.

"And why is that, Izzy? Why do you hate violence so much?" JB was challenging now.

He knew that I had a past with violence and that I would fill him in more when I was ready. This wasn't the time. I wasn't ready. I just kept walking.

"You know, by your silence, I would say you were protecting someone. Someone like, Pete, perhaps?" he knew exactly what buttons to push.

As soon as I heard JB say his name I stopped walking and allowed the tears to stream down my face. JB was right. Why was I defending Pete? He had put me through so much turmoil in my life and now here he was ruining the one good thing I had since he had left my life like a tornado does to a trailer park; with everything in shambles.

I turned and faced JB revealing everything in my eyes.

JB's eyes went from anger to realization in a matter of moments.

"Oh God, Izzy. That's it, isn't it? It was Pete," JB said sounding shocked.

"Look, JB, just drop it, alright!" I said getting angry that I was so transparent.

I turned to walk again.

"I'm going to fucking kill him!" JB yelled in frustration as he trotted to catch up to me.

I know he wanted to comfort me, but the last thing I wanted was for him to touch me. I was thoroughly confused. JB challenged Pete to say that he didn't regret letting me go and Pete couldn't do it. My thoughts were swarming.

"JB, you did enough already! Just stop it!" I yelled as tears continued to roll down my face.

I noticed that JB had stopped walking. I turned around slowly to face him.

"I don't get you. This guy obviously beat you when you were in a relationship, treats you like shit after five years of not talking and yet you still defend him? What the fuck is so great about him?" JB asked loudly.

People walking by had started to stare. This was exactly what I wanted to avoid.

"You wouldn't understand. That's why I didn't tell you in the first place," I mumbled and turned around to walk away.

I heard JB sigh loudly. I know he was upset with me continuing to walk away, but I could see the hotel's lit up sign in the distance. We were so close.

"You know, if I didn't know any better," JB started.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked upset.

We were now outside the entrance of the hotel and I knew what he was insinuating. If he wanted to cause a scene, I would cause a scene.

"Nothing. Forget it," he said quietly.

"No, Jeremy. If you didn't know any better what?" I asked him in his face now.

"Izzy, stop. Let's just drop it," JB looked around and noticed a crowd forming.

"You think I'd go back to him? You think I still love him? Don't start shit that you don't want to hear, Jeremy," I threw at him.

I stared up into his eyes with anger now. He had no right to say that. He had no right to try and dig into the relationship I once had with Pete. No one understood our relationship. Not even Pete's best friend understood our relationship, but it was over and there was no reason to explain anymore.

I noticed JB's eyes relax and he looked into mine. He looked defeated. I softened my body language as well.

"Look, I don't want to fight with you about this," JB said quietly.

I put my head down as he stepped forward slightly and began to rub his hands up and down my arms.

"I'm so tired of fighting," I said crying.

I wasn't sure what I meant by that statement. I wasn't sure if by fighting I meant fighting for Pete or fighting in relationships in general, but I did know one thing. What ever I meant by the word, I was tired of it.

"Oh, Bella. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have started that fight in the club," JB said softening his tone even more.

"I know. I'm sorry about him. I don't know what else to say, but I'm sorry," I said looking up at him with my tear stained face.

JB gently rubbed my tears away with his thumbs.

"Look, we are both extremely angry right now and I'd hate for us to say even more things that we will regret in the future. We play at Florida for a couple of days next, why don't we just take a little breather and I'll call you once we get back to Minnesota," JB said kissing the top of my head.

I just nodded. He was right. If we were to continue this conversation we would definitely say some things that we would regret.

"Come on, I'll walk you up to your hotel room," he said grabbing my hand.

We just stared at each other as we stood in front of my hotel room. The mean words and revelations that were made that evening made it feel as those we were standing 100 feet apart from each other.

"I'll call you next week, ok?" he asked after a silence that felt like forever.

"Ok," I could barely speak.

"I love you, Bella," he said grabbing my hand, so I would look at him.

"Me too, JB," I whispered.

I noticed the sadness in his eyes when I didn't say the words, but I just couldn't. My head was still swimming with thoughts of Pete, Patrick, and my past.

JB just nodded and kissed my cheek. He turned and left me standing there in the hallway. I could tell he was exhausted by his walk. I never meant to hurt him.

I went into my hotel room and leaned against the door. I should have said I loved him. I do love him. He didn't deserve my cold shoulder. That should be reserved for Pete. He was the one that deserved all my coldness and hatred. I didn't know why I couldn't give it to him.

I wasn't sure how long I stood at the door, but I was jolted out of my thoughts when I heard a knock on the door. I smiled, thinking JB was coming back.

"JB, I love," I stopped my sentence short when I noticed who was actually standing at my door.

"Pete," I said simply staring at him.

He smiled slightly.

"You love Pete?" he asked tilting his head.

I couldn't speak. I just stood there looking at him. He had the beginnings of a black eye and his lip had been noticeably split open, but the bleeding had subsided. He looked like shit.

Pete's eyes just stared back at me. They took in every inch of my body. Once his eyes had finished undressing me, they had settled back on my own.

All of my common sense had flown out the window when I reached for him and pulled him into my hotel room with a brutal force.

I pushed Pete forcefully against the door as it slammed shut. He let out a low moan from the back of his throat as his lips tried to catch up to my own. Pete wasn't one to let me take the dominate role and he immediately began to lead me to the bed making sure to not break our aching kiss.

I wanted to feel him completely. I wanted for him to fill that gaping hole that was placed there the moment he left my side. I wanted him so much.

I felt his rough hands desperately reach around my back for the zipper of my dress. He skillfully allowed my dress to fall to the floor in one swift motion. We paused at this moment. He was taking in the sight of me standing before him completely naked and vulnerable.

I finally took his features in completely. He looked tired, but sultry. I lightly lifted my hand to his lip and he flinched as my fingers grazed his cut. He reached for my hand and placed a small kiss on my finger not once breaking his eye contact.

It was a light kiss that sent the most electrifying feeling through my entire body. I reached over and slowly took off his shirt throwing it aside. I noticed the addition of multiple ink markings all over his body. I took them all in as my eyes trailed over his toned body. I watched as he slowly undid his belt buckle and the zipper to his pants. I bit my lip with anticipation.

He wrapped his arms around me in a heartwarming hug once we had shed all of our clothes. I could feel his heart beating against my chest which caused for my own heart to beat faster.

Pete pulled away slightly and brushed my hair to the side giving him access to my bare shoulder. His lips began their trail from my shoulder to my neck leaving a tingling trail in their path. I shuddered at his light touch.

With my eyes shut tightly I finally felt his lips on my own and our tongues intertwined with one another in a familiar dance that they had done so many times before. It suddenly felt as though I was falling as Pete gently laid me down on the bed and he hovered above me.

We laid there in perfect serenity just looking into one another's eyes. This wasn't what I was expecting when I first roughly attacked his lips when he knocked on my door. This was supposed happen with less emotion. It was supposed to be rough and quick. What was he doing to me?

Pete leaned down and placed quick kisses on my lips leaving me wanting more; needing more. He moved his lips along my jaw line and continued his path slowly downward towards my chest.

I let a small moan escape my lips for the anticipation was driving me crazy.

I could tell that Pete had a smirk on his face now. He had total control over my body, which I had a feeling was exactly what his ultimate goal was.

Pete's mouth paid close attention to the spots that had multiple nerve endings while his hands gently rubbed and smoothed their way over my body. As he got closer to my stomach I found myself holding my breath with the eagerness that was driving me crazy.

"Breathe," he whispered against my skin causing me to shudder again.

I looked down at him and he just peered back up at me with a grin that only read lust and pleasure. All I could do was lay my head back on the pillow and wait.

I felt Pete's hand gently rub down my outer thighs and up my inner thighs as he gently pushed my legs apart. I was shaking uncontrollably now. He knew exactly what to do to make me completely melt under his touch. All I could do was grasp at the sheets at my side as I felt his tongue infiltrate in my body. I let out a moan as my body arched wanting more. My hand instinctively went to grab at his hair as his tongue did things to make me tremble with pleasure.

Pete broke away from my body for a moment reading my body cues that I was close to ending this lustful rendezvous and breathed deeply looking down at me with his bedroom eyes. I melted immediately as I felt my heart beat like it had when I first knew that I loved this boy.

"Pete," I whispered in a pleading voice.

He bit his lip and shook his head slightly as though he knew exactly what I was thinking and showing me that he was thinking the same thing.

He laid his body on top of mine again and kissed me deeply on the lips as though he was grasping onto every little memory possible of this night.

I felt him push into me eliciting tears to form in my eyes. It had been so long since I had felt this connection with Pete and I didn't know until that moment that he was a void that I had in my life. My body arched towards his with each thrust wanting and hoping that we could connect even more. I felt his hands wrap around my shoulders in a tight embrace and I knew that he was feeling the same connection and the same need to be closer to me.

His mouth licked and nipped my body and his hot breath caused chills to run up and down my arms.

Pete had whispered into my ear as his thrusts became more of a craving for my body. His breath tickled my skin and I couldn't make out what he was saying for my heart was beating so loudly it was the only thing I could hear at the moment. I grasped hungrily at his back as I could feel the sensual buildup inside my body.

Pete sighed into my ear and that was all that I needed to feel completely fulfilled. I let out a loud moan wrapping my legs tightly around Pete's body as he continued to fill me with all the passion that he could consume.

Pete soon was overcome with pleasure and he laid on his side staring at me with compassion and admiration. His hand gently traced circles around my belly button as I stared back at him. My thoughts were racing. What did this all mean? What was this encounter?

"How did you find me?" I whispered.

"I followed you from the club," he said simply. "It wasn't too difficult. I just had to follow the yelling."

I closed my eyes tightly as visions of JB flew into my mind. He was long forgotten the moment I saw Pete standing at my hotel room door and now the guilt was starting to build up.

I opened my eyes to see Pete looking at me now with sadness in his.

"I'm sorry," I whispered quietly.

Pete didn't say anything at first he just nodded in understanding.

"She's going to wonder where you are," I said quietly.

"No, she won't," Pete laughed at that.

I just looked at him confused.

"I told her to shut up after she started yelling at me about the fight, which caused her to dramatically slap me across the face. She's probably flying back to the West Coast as we lay here," he explained.

I looked up at him with sympathy. He deserved better than that.

"You deserve better than that," I said placing my hand on his cheek.

Pete accepted the soft touch by closing his eyes and tilting his head into my hand.

"No, I don't," he replied honestly. "You deserve better than me."

I paused with shock. I wasn't expecting him to say that. I found myself holding my breath again, but now it was with fear of what he would say next. I prayed that he wouldn't say this was a mistake. I don't think I could handle him saying this was a mistake.

I sighed deeply reminding myself to breathe.

"Tonight wasn't the first time that I had spoken to you since I saw you on the street the other day," Pete suddenly said rubbing his hand up and down my bare arm.

"What?" I asked in complete confusion.

"We spoke over text message. After the scene at the club when I played our song. I never meant to hurt you with that. I just wanted to let you know that I never forgot about it," he said simply.

"That was you? I thought it was Patrick," I asked still in vast confusion.

"I took his phone while he was sleeping. I knew you'd respond to him. You could never say no to him," Pete smiled. I knew by the look on his face that he was reminiscing of the old days. The days that seemed so simple compared to now.

"What now?" I asked. I knew that I shouldn't have, but I couldn't get the continuous nagging and questioning voice out of my head.

"Now, we sleep," he said sealing the night with a lingering kiss on my lips.

It wasn't exactly the answer I was going for, but it would have to do.

I opened my eyes to see a dark pair staring back into mine.

"Are you watching me sleep?" I asked with a raspy voice.

"Kinda," he admitted.

I just rolled my eyes and put my hands through his hair.

"Why?" I asked in a near whisper.

"I just wanted to see what it looked like to actually have a peaceful sleep," he said now putting hands through my hair.

"Nightmares?" I asked knowing all too well that he couldn't sleep well.

He didn't say anything; he just nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked him.

I always asked if he wanted to talk about it. He always said no. He was never able to form the words, and he always feared that what he told me would somehow damage me and my sleep as well.

"I was alone," he stated.

This confession shocked me. I wasn't expecting him to say anything at all.

"Alone?" I asked. I knew I was pushing my luck by asking questions, but that statement could have been a number of things.

"You were gone. You left me, and it was the worst feeling in the world," he said trying to fight back the tears that were forming in his eyes.

"Pete, I would never leave you alone. I promise," I said sternly. It killed me to know that I was now a part of his nightmares.

"Don't leave me," he whispered into my neck and he hugged me tightly.

"I won't Pete, I promise," I said feeling his arms squeeze me close to him.

He was really afraid that I was going to leave him alone.


I woke up the next morning to banging on my hotel room door. My eyes shot open and looked around at my surroundings.

I was alone.

"IZ!" I heard Patrick's voice through the door.

Confusion struck me motionless. Did I dream that Pete and I were together? I looked down at myself. No definitely not. Patrick's yelling became more insistent, so I wrapped the bed sheet around my body and ran to the door.

"What's going on?" I asked looking at Patrick's relieved face as soon as I opened the door.

Patrick rushed into the room and pushed me backwards by my shoulders allowing the door to shut.

"Are you ok?" he asked sounding breathless.

"I'm fine. Why?" I was more than confused. What the hell was going on with him?

"Pete told me that I needed to check up on you. He wanted me to make sure you were ok," Patrick said explaining his behavior.

"Pete? Where is he?" I asked suddenly holding my breath for an answer.

"I took him to the airport around 3:00 this morning. He went back West. To find her," Patrick said quietly.

My heart fell into the pit of my stomach. I just stared into the eyes that told me bad new yet again, and I all I could do was pray that I was dreaming. I wanted to be dreaming so badly. His eyes were telling me that truth that I did not want to hear.

I was taken out of my trans with Patrick by a knock on the door.

"Room service," was quietly stated through the door.

Patrick reached behind him and opened the door.

"A young gentleman ordered this for you, miss," the waiter said pushing in a luxurious breakfast.

I immediately grabbed the note off the table, but almost dropped it when I noticed the name scribbled on the front.


It was from JB.

"Thanks," Patrick said to the waiter giving him a five from his pocket.


I'm so sorry about last night and the words that were said. I could only think of you last night and the tears in your eyes and it kills me to know that I caused them. I can't wait for the moment that I come home and hear your sweet voice.

I love you,

I dropped the note and ran into the bathroom. The guilt had risen up my throat and out my stomach.

Patrick was right there behind me rubbing my back soothingly. I couldn't help but begin to sob. Pete left me here and I betrayed JB. How did things turn so completely horrible in just a matter of moments?

"I'm sorry he did this to you," Patrick whispered.

"Why?" I cried into the toilet.

I only heard Patrick sigh from behind me. It was a loaded question that lacked any form of answers.

AN: Hey there may be some grammer and spelling errors in this chapter due to the fact that I didn't quite do the best editing job. Sorry, but I wanted to get this posted. ENJOY KIDDIES!
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