Categories > Books > Dan Brown

The Elevator of Jacques Saunière

by Quillian 0 reviews

One-shot! Just a funny little thing inspired after reading "The Da Vinci Code," by Dan Brown! If Jacques Saunière were to design an elevator, what would it look like?

Category: Dan Brown - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2005-10-06 - Updated: 2005-10-07 - 618 words - Complete

1Boring
DISCLAIMER: I don't own "The Da Vinci Code," etc DISCLAIMER: I don't own "The Da Vinci Code," etc.; Dan Brown does and whoever else. (And so will Columbia Pictures when it makes a movie out of that book.)

SUMMARY: This is a not-so-serious idea I had, while thinking about "The Da Vinci Code" while also thinking of elevators. Jacques Saunière from "The Da Vinci Code," had a thing for double entendres in the story. Even if you've never read the book, you can still enjoy this slightly funny fic, so long as you understand the relatively simple masculine/feminine symbolism.

/The Elevator of Jacques Saunière/

By Quillian

(originally named Kraeg001)

One day, in his workshop full of models of Leonardo da Vinci's more obscure inventions, Jacques Saunière decided to try and design something completely new and radically different.

You see, Jacques Saunière was an important curator at the Louvre Museum in Paris, France. He had also acquired the largest collection of goddess art in the world, since he was interested in the topic of the sacred feminine. He liked to think of himself as a Da Vinci in his own way, with his inventions, his anagrams, and his ideas.

Saunière also had a habit of double entendres. So, one day, while lamenting to himself about the creaking in the stairs as he descended them, he was wondering about designing an elevator, and then it hit him. He would design an elevator and have it reflect the ideas of masculine and feminine together as one!

With that, he went to his drawing board and got started.

First, Saunière decided that the "up" button would be black, and the "down" button would be white. He did this, because the original masculine symbol, otherwise known as the Blade, pointed upwards like a simple arrow, and the original feminine symbol, otherwise known as the Chalice, pointed downwards. Furthermore, in such cases like the ritual of Heiros Gamos, white represented the female and black represented the male.

At this point, Saunière's fairly eccentric mind thought about the symbolism with halves with both genders. Left was feminine, and right was masculine. Of course, he frowned when he remembered how terms like sinister, gauche and left wing spoke of bad and evil things, while their other counterparts spoke of correctness, dexterity, and /right/eousness. But what could he do? In the last two millennia, Mother Earth had slowly become a man's world. Sighing and brushing that sad thought aside, he decided to show the symbolism with the directions by having the "down" button on the left side of the elevator and having the "up" button on the right side of the elevator.

And now, Saunière decided about the interior itself. Since all man came from women, the curator decided to make the outer doors white and the interior of the carriage itself black.

And just to top it all off and still retain some sense of balance, he put in a white pentagram in the middle, the original symbol of feminine love and beauty before the Church denounced it as a sign of the Devil.

With that idea now sketched out, but with no current need for an elevator, Saunière just went back to what he was originally doing; descending the stairs so he could go outside and get more of the drawing and building supplies he so desperately needed to begin with!

/FIN/

A/N: So, what did you guys think of this one? I'm sure some more devout fans will have noticed the references to information from the book itself, regarding the masculine/feminine symbolism and such.

Also, thanks to SnowyBlackOwl, who beta-read this fic!
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