FicWad

Refusing lunch my own brother had prepared caused him to fuss. I tried coarsely for it to stop but Bob had stepped into the mess. Moving closely to my face he abruptly told me

"If you don't fucking eat, I will force feed you."

I stepped back and slowly took my seat next to Frank. He wouldn't turn to me; he was still angry.Trying to make conversation I recieved nothing. Turning to my food I ate very little of what I was given. Moving it around my plate, I attempted to draw no attention to myself. My attempt failed. Ray pestered me to take a small connived bite; the rest sat agreeing.
When I painfully finished, my next move brought me to take to my chamber for a long abortive nap. Passing the clock I muttered the time quietly. This frequently seemed to take my mouth by storm, almost religiously I spoke the time of the frozen hands. I entered my room relief washing me, I needed my solitude. Only for a short time, time were I would make sense of myself. Compelled to be alone I was barged in upon by my brother. He moved quickly to my bed; I lay with my face pressed to my pillow and my stomach to the mattress. He wanted answers; I needed to find them.

"Gerard whats going on?" He stated slowly moving to his back; he lay stared at the ceiling waiting for my answer.

"I don't know Mikey."

"I-."

"You don't believe me I know," I signed into the mattress.

There was a long pause, and together we sat in the silence.

"Are you doing drugs again?" He clambered shorting the words at his mouth.

I winced at his question; Ray had asked me the same. I gave him the truth; but Ray didn't seemed convinced. Rolling over I looked up to Mikey's reflection, his staring back at mine.

"No," I announced.

He looked away; I could tell he was contemplating my answer. I reached out touching his shoulder.

"Mikey, you know if I started using again-."

"It would be the day you lose everything..."

Nodding slowly I watched him look towards me. His eyes scanning my worn body. He was my younger brother and he worried as though I was the youngest. Slowly Mikey sat up and rubbed at his temples, I rolled to my side.

"I'm gonna call mom."

"Oh Mikey," I whined turning my body to show him my annoyance, "don't do that."

He scooted sharply off my bed to the floor. Pulling down at his shirt he move to his pants; adjusting them on his narrow hips. I moved slightly; stretching my arms.

"Don't worry I'll just be checking in," He muttered over his shoulder.

I raised my head and gave him a stare.

"I won't say anything to mom, okay Gerard."

I stared harder at him; making sure he could feel it beating on his back. Mikey dropped his arms to his side; turning to me he jokingly glared back,

"Or dad."

I flew my fingers slightly; Mikey groaned but heeded to my request. He left me be; alone.









~little authors note~
so someone has told me my sentences are awkward
i understand that, thats how i write, you kinda gotta
read between the lines, think about the sentences as if
they were directions, stage directions...if that doesn't help
then I'll quit and go back to being a gym teacher for my future