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` Disclaimer- I own only the arrangement of the words. That's it. Lyrics incorporated into this are owned by Say Anything.

A/N- Well, this comes from...I don't know. I had this idea from no where, 'cause really, this just kinda slammed me in the face. Hard. From no where. Really. Didn't see this baby coming. Jamia bashing ahead. Enjoy...

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"DUDE!!!!!!!!!" Frank yelled, flinging himself into my bunk. He was laughing his ass off, clutching his cell phone to his chest. The dude may be tiny, but he weighs kind of lot and when he jumps on you, it's not exactly fun.

"What do you want?" I asked, aggravated slightly, putting my sketchbook and my pencils in the hanging bag above my head.

"I called Jamia yesterday," Frank informed me, grinning wildly.

I blinked.

"You call her every day. What...what's so interesting about this?"

I hate Jamia, just so you know. She's just using Frank, for money. Why he can't see that, I don't know. She's a bitch, sucking the soul out of Frank. And me. She took Frank from me.

Yes, clichéd much? I'm in love with my best friend, and he has no idea 'cause all I'll ever tell him is nothing. He's not gonna know about my eternal devotion to him. I love him so much...anyway, he was half-sitting on top of me, grinning.

"I recorded the conversation," Frank said, resting the phone on my forehead. I would have loved to pick it off, but Frank was sitting on my left arm, and my right arm was trapped between the wall and my side.

"So?" I asked. This conversation was going nowhere.

He grinned, leaning forward and placing his lips next to my ear. I shivered.

"I called her on the phone and she touched herself, Gerard. Touched herself," he whispered. I blinked.

"Wow. I...wow." What the hell was I supposed to say to that?

"I laughed myself to sleep," Frank added with a laugh. I smiled. That was good.

"So, what happened?"

"I was chatting on the inter-web, and I had no interest in the things she said on the phone every day, but then she started describing her underwear. I forgot everything that my priest taught me in Catholic School, Gerard. I seriously laughed myself to sleep. It was hilarious."

"Did you...touch yourself with her?" I asked, blushing. I needed to know.

Frank laughed.

"No. I started laughing really hard, and she got pissed and hung up. Man, that was funny. I can't believe it. I called her on the phone and she touched herself."

I smiled, and asked, "Have you talked to her today?"

Frank bit his lip, a serious look coming over his face.

"I, uh...no. Gerard, can I ask you something, friend to friend?"

"Sure," I said. He rolled off my arm, and we positioned ourselves so that we were lying there, face-to-face.

"Gerard...what do, honestly, think of Jamia?" he asked, his eyes searching my face. My heart leaped. Now was my chance.

'She's a terrible person, Frank, using you for money and having sex with other men on the side,' I said. He nodded slowly, and then smiled at me.

'You're right, Gerard. And I've just realized who I really love. You,' Frank said, leaning forward and pressing his lips against mine. I kissed back, lightly at first and then slowly turning more passionate. His hand reached down for my belt and-.

"Gerard?" Frank asked, looking at me with worried eyes. I blinked, realizing that I had just gotten lost in a daydream. Again.

I looked at him, and faked a smile.

"She's a great girl, Frank. She'll make a great wife for you."

Frank nodded slowly, and smiled at me. He leaned forward and kissed my cheek, and said, "You're a great friend Gerard. I love you, man."

He smiled at me, climbing from my bunk and going somewhere else. I quickly shoved the curtain shut, not wanting anyone to see me cry.

I turned my back to the curtain, and silently burst into tears. I didn't want Frank to love me like that. I wanted those three words to leave his lips after a passionate kiss on the lips, after sex, at the alter, anywhere but after saying, 'You're a great friend.'

Why didn't he see that he was killing me? He was a murderer, killing my soul. And he didn't even know it. I'm such a pussy. I had the perfect chance to end that relationship. If I had told him to leave her, he would have because he trusts my opinion.

But, no. I didn't.

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The next day, I was lounging on the couch, reading some book about vampires. Scenery passed by the window above me, and I could hear Bob and Ray discussing which video game to play, and I could hear Mikey and Brian talking, and then Frank...Frank was laughing hysterically, his phone to his ear.

I chuckled, turning the page. I knew exactly what he was listening to, and that made me laugh and feel horrible at the same time.

With a sigh, I put the book down and stood up, going over to the 'kitchen' area for a soda. I pulled open the fridge and pulled out a Diet Coke. I popped it open, and leaning against the counter, took a sip.

I took one step towards the couch, when suddenly the bus lurched to a stop, and skidded around in a circle. I tried to grab onto something, and managed to grab a cabinet door, but it flew open and I fell forward. The last thing I remember is my head connecting with an open cabinet door and someone screaming my name before my world faded into darkness.

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It was so dark. Red and blue lights swirled in the distance, and the screams coupled with the sirens made my head pound. I couldn't move. It hurt so badly.

Everything hurt. So many people screaming...wait, my chest. I could feel something wet on my chest. I tried to open my eyes, but it was so blurry. I couldn't see anything.

"Gerard?"

Somebody called my name, and I turned my head slightly towards the sound. I knew I recognized the voice, but...I just couldn't place it.

As I strained to remember, my body was lifted off the ground and placed onto something. Something was placed around my neck, and I couldn't move my head.

Fear seized my chest, and my breathing sped up.

"He's lost a lot of blood. Somebody...get him some blood," a voice I did not recognize said. I felt a sharp pinch in my arm, and I knew that there was a needle involved. I lost consciousness then.

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The next time I woke up, I was in a white room. Machinery surrounded me, and there were beeps every few seconds. I looked down at my body, and tears filled my eyes.

My leg was in a cast and suspended upwards, and both of my arms were in a cast. My chest was wrapped up, and I could see red spots slowly growing on the white bandages. There were all sorts of wires and needles sticking out from my body, and it was taking all my will-power not to hyperventilate at the sight of the needles.

I heard a soft snore next to me, and I turned my head to look, ignoring the pain that shot down my back. I didn't understand how I could be so messed up from just falling down and hitting my head.

But that confusion melted away when I saw who was asleep in the chair next to my bed.

His hands were clasped on his lap, and his leg was in a cast. He had a pair of crutches next to him, and his head was tilted to the side, his mouth slightly open. His face was bruised and there was a bandage on his cheek. His hair was messy, and looked to be slightly greasy.

"Frank?" I asked, wincing as my hoarse voice destroyed the calm silence of the room. Frank's head jerked up, and he looked at me with wide eyes.

"Oh my God, Gerard!" he choked out, tears spilling from his beautiful honey eyes.

"Don't cry," I mumbled. He stared at me, smiling through his tears.

"They...they said that you wouldn't make it," he said softly. "I thought I'd lost you, Gerard. We all did."

"But...," I licked my lips, "I only hit my head. How...how'd I end up like...like this?"

"Gerard...the bus flipped. Like, upside down. You...you almost died, honey. You still are...in critical condition," Frank said, his voice cracking as he grabbed my hand and squeezed.

"How's Mikey and the others?" I asked, fear seizing my chest. I could barely breathe.

"We're all fine, with a few broken bones and cuts and bruises. Mikey, Ray, Brian, and Bob went home 'cause they've been here too long. You were the worst 'cause you were standing when the accident happened," Frank said, squeezing my hand again.

I let out a relieved sigh, trying not to cry.

"I don't understand," I said. "How'd the accident happen, though?"

Frank chewed on his bottom lip.

"The driver did it on purpose. He tried to kill us, Gerard. And he almost succeeded in killing you."

"Am I going to die?" I asked. He wasn't telling me something. Frank bit his lip hard, and a trickle of blood ran down his chin.

"Frank...," I said softly, squeezing his hand. That was about the only movement I could make. Frank was sobbing hysterically, his head in his free hand.

"Gerard...," he sobbed. "Your brain...it's hemorrhaging. There's only a one in a hundred chance you'll live."

I froze, looking at him for any sign of a joke. He was completely serious, tears pouring from his eyes as he sobbed uncontrollably. I couldn't cry. I turned my head away from him, shivering.

"Frank," I said, my voice calm even though I was screaming on the inside. He looked up at me, sniffling. I didn't want to see his face after what I was about to say.

"What is it, baby?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

I blinked back tears, and asked flatly, "Why'd you stay with me this entire time? Why haven't you left with the others? Why do you call me 'honey' and 'baby'? Do you love me as much as I love you?"

He let out a choked sob, and whispered, "Don't do that to me. I've always loved you, Gerard. But I won't kiss you. You...you might not live. If I admit to something now...and you die...I'll kill myself, Gerard. If I started a relationship now and you died...I'd kill myself. I really would. I'd die."

"But you do love me," I said incredulously, turning to look at him. He bit his bleeding lip, and nodded slowly.

"I love you, Gerard. With all my heart. I couldn't say anything, 'cause there was Jamia and I was scared that you'd hate me, and I didn't want to lose friends and fans 'cause I was gay."

"How could I hate you?" I asked, my eyes welling up. "I love you more than the world."

"To hell with it," Frank said, his eyes burning. "If you die, I'll die anyway, relationship or not."

"Don't say that," I gasped. "Never say that. Promise me you'll keep going."

"But-."

"Promise me," I growled, interrupting him. He lowered his head.

"I promise," he sighed.

I smiled slightly, trying to ignore the growing pounding in my head. It was so loud and painful...I, once again, lost consciousness then.

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Over the next few weeks, I drifted in and out of consciousness. I was delusional a lot, and had a very high fever. I remember waking up and screaming for various people who were either deceased or not there.

Frank was there every time I woke, whether or not I recognized him or not.

One time, I woke up screaming for my deceased grandmother Elena, and Frank had to talk to me, persuade me not to get out of bed.

I thought I was dying. I was sure that this was the end. If I wasn't conscious, I was either out of it, sobbing hysterically, or laying on the bed, musing on whether or not it was all worth it. I couldn't decide if my life had a point at all.

There were only two things I knew for sure: I was not scared of dying, and Frank.

I guess when you've spent most of your life suicidal, you know you're not afraid of dying. And I wasn't. I knew that if God existed I was going to Hell, but I didn't care. All I knew was that I didn't want to die just yet. I wasn't ready.

Frank. We had grown so close. When I was lucid, we talked and we kissed until I passed out again or went through a fit of fantasy. We were now a couple, Frank having broken up with Jamia, and we were enjoying as much as it as we possibly could. I knew that I was hurting Frank, but in a sick way, I guess it was okay in my head for all the years he had killed a little part of my soul.

I really was hurting Frank, though.

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I remember waking up one time, I don't know exactly when, and my whole body ached.

I turned to look at him, confused.

"Why do I hurt?" I gasped. Not the best sentence, but the agony was blinding. Frank looked at me, his eyes red and puffy from crying and lack and sleep.

"I don't know. Don't you always hurt?" he said.

I groaned, shifting. I saw stars.

"Not...like...this...Frank...GET...NURSE!!!!!!" I screamed, my entire body starting to shake. I clenched my teeth tightly together, as pain shot through my entire body like rockets. My body convulsed on the bed, my back arching as I writhed.

I could hear Frank screaming, and white foam spurted from between my lips and rolled down my chin. A doctor or a nurse rolled me onto my side, and clutched my chest and my back. I could hear someone besides Frank screaming loudly, so loudly.

Then I realized that the screaming...that was me. I couldn't stop convulsing. I lost consciousness again.

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When I woke up, Frank was sobbing, clutching a sobbing Mikey close.

"Water," I croaked. They broke apart, spinning around to face me. Still crying, Frank leaned forward and kissed my sweaty forehead.

He slid a hand behind my neck and lifted me upward, and Mikey handed him a cup. Frank placed the cup against my lips, and I drank greedily, finishing the water quickly.

After he placed the water on the table, he looked at me with tears in his eyes.

"Don't you/ ever /fucking do that again, you hear me?"

Mikey nodded, tears sparkling in his eyes.

"You scared the shit out of me, and Frank. I walked into the room just as you...you started foaming."

I blinked.

"Sorry."

"Just...get better, Gee. Please. Get better. For me," Frank said, kissing me on the forehead again. I looked at him, and then at my brother, my eyes shining.

And then I made my decision. I was going to get better, no matter what it took.

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I started having less and less delusions as my leg and arms began to heal. The cuts on my chest had already healed almost completely, but I still had to wear a bandage around my head.

With my long hair, I looked like some sort of a crack-head ninja. Which was pretty cool, 'cause what guy doesn't want to be a crack-head ninja? Honestly?

Anyway, I remember when I got out of bed for the first time in two months.

I was terrified. I hadn't stood in two months, and I had lost so much weight it wasn't even funny. My limbs were all sticks, honestly. Sticks. There was no muscle on me anywhere, and you could see my bones sticking through my skin in my elbows and my knees. I looked awful, and I wasn't sure if I could still stand.

So, a nurse, and of course Frank, grabbed my under my arms and helped me out of bed. They held me up for a second, as I was shaking really hard.

Then, they both let go. I immediately collapsed, too weak to stand. Frank grabbed me before I hit the ground, and looked me in my eyes.

"You can do it," he whispered. I nodded, tears in my eyes. The nurse and Frank pulled me to my feet again, and then let go. And I stood. Shakily, I'll admit, but by God, I was standing.

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Soon after that, I was able to walk. My recovery, I'm told, is a miracle. I was supposed to die. But I didn't. I was released from the hospital last night, and now, I'm at home, staring at my phone.

Frank told me he'd call, and I was happily awaiting it. I survived, and now the man I've always dreamed of being with is mine.

Life's amazing. I'll never want to kill myself again, I promise you that.

I jumped as my phone went off. I don't know why, because I was waiting for it to ring, but I still jumped.

Don't ask.

I reached over and picked it up, flicking it open with a, "Hello?"

"Hey, baby," Frank's voice filled my ear. I smiled.

"So, Frank...guess what?"

"What?"

"I'm wearing silk boxers, and guess what I'm doing?"

"What?" he asked, sounding confused. I grinned evilly.

"I'm touching myself."

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A/N- Oh, God, the beginning and the end are based on the song 'Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too' by Say Anything. Go download this song. It's hilarious, and you'll understand this better. Well, please REVIEW!!!!!!