FicWad

Hedonism Is Harmless

I'm in the bathroom, snorting lines of blow up my nose like a goddamn vacuum cleaner because i don't think im going to be capable of returning to the party writhing outside the bathroom door without it. I finish the second of the two massive lines and toss my head back, scrunching my face and pinching my nose. I sniff hard and peer into the mirror, checking under my nose for any left-over, incriminating powder and inspecting the condition of my eyeliner. I tousle my hair. Someone knocks on the door. I ignore them. I close my eyes for a second and take a couple deep breaths. I quietly talk to myself, a habit ive developed over the past month or two, trying to keep from flipping the fuck out.

"You're okay. You can do this. Just go back outside, smile and act like a human being."

Shaking my head, i sniff once more and open to door, prepared (kind of?) to face the rest of the night. This ugly chick with a fleshy face and frazzled platinum blond hair, presumably the one who knocked earlier, glares at me. I glare back and keep walking, not in the mood to deal with her.

The walls of the house are thudding, almost like the decrepit, frat house-esque thing has a pulse. The air is soaked with the smell of beer and weed and sweat and cigarette smoke and sex. It feels too heavy and makes my stomach turn. People are everywhere- twisting, grinding, drinking, shouting over the shit-music. Everyone's smiles are dirty, their eyes looking hungry. No one wants to go home alone. Not to an empty bed and, eventually, a wicked hangover. I should be used to all of this by now, but i still think it's kind of pathetic. What's worse, though, is that im just like the rest of them. There's something about being at a party that morphs your body chemistry. By the end of the night your mind is spinning and your heart is hopping up and down, lurching in your chest, shrieking "I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE! I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE! FIND SOMEONE, DAMMIT!"

Whatever. Parties suck.

Five or ten minutes pass and i start to feel the coke. It's good shit, very pure, and the high starts to swoop down on me. Im smiling more, laughing at nothing. Im feeling good, which is a nice change of pace. I get a drink, something neon blue that a guy in nothing but black vinyl hot pants in sloshing into red plastic cups from a large, expensive-looking crystal bowl. I down it in three large gulps. It tastes like shit, like someone mixed a bunch of nail polish remover and Gatorade together and then tossed in some food coloring for shits and giggles. I get more anyway.

I start looking for familiar faces. Ray's standing in a corner under this really horrible painting of a lizard sitting on a screaming yellow lemon, talking up this okay-looking chick. I see Bob across the room. He's talking to a guy wearing a purple beret whose probably spun out on acid or X or PCP or K. Bob is totally into it, talking with his hands while his mouth moves ninety miles a minute, and the guy in the beret keeps nodding and touching Bob's shoulder. They laugh. I look away.

This guy i fucked two or three weeks ago after a show in LA starts strutting over my way, trying to look cool. He's thin, shorter than me and, though he's not gorgeous, he's not terrible-looking either. He's got on tight jeans and an even tighter David Bowie tee shirt on with a tear in it just below his left nipple. I suddenly remember that he gives excellent head and consider for about three seconds letting him give me a blowjob. Despite the fact that the coke is starting to make me really horny, i decide against it.

I don't really want to talk to this kid so i pretend i don't see him and make my way back over to the guy in the hot pants to get more of the blue shit. Ive got my back turned to the party and am trying to make conversation with Ass Shorts Man. I feel a tap on my shoulder. I grimace and slowly turn around.

"Heeeey! Mikey"

"Hi... erm..." I forget his name. Maybe i never knew it in the first place.

"Alex!" Alex is bouncy and all smiles. He probably thinks im going to fuck him again.

"Right. Um. How are things?"

He starts telling me about how he bought some ecstasy off a Swedish guy "like, only five minutes ago" and do i want to do some with him? The coke is making me antsy. I need to move, need to get away from this kid. I make up an excuse, probably a really lame one, and try to excuse myself.

Alex looks disappointed.

"Hey. Come on! Lets go do some of the X. Come on, Mikey. Stay!"

He flashes me this really dirty grin and licks his lips. He touches his chest, trying to be seductive.

"No, man. I, uh. I really have to go. Ill see you later, yeah?"

Alex touches my arm. His eyes look sad.

"Come on. It was good last time. Wasnt i good enough?"

Jesus Christ. Here it comes.

"Please Mikey. Come on. Look. Why don't we go somewhere?"

"..."

"Come on. Hey! Ill suck you off. It'll be really good."

His last comment comes out of nowhere and im kind of taken aback. His face is pleading. I hate it when they do this.

Maybe i should fuck him. I need to get laid. I need another line of blow.

"No. Sorry. I just. I have to go. Places to be and all..."

He's not listening.

"But, um... you said you loved me?"

Fucking Christ. I need to get rid of him.

"Well. That tends to slip out sometimes when someone has their lips wrapped around my cock. Later, Alex."

I walk off quickly, heading for the bathroom again. Once inside i pull the small envelope out of my pocket, open it and spill its contents carefully on the counter. I check to make sure the door is locked, even though i know i locked it when i first came in. I pull a razor blade and a twenty dollar bill out of my wallet. I cut myself three really fat lines, roll up the twenty and have at it.

Once i finish the last of the blow i wipe any remaining residue off the counter, then stick my finger in my mouth. My tongue goes numb and it makes me laugh. Im feeling really good now. Really good. Ive forgotten about Alex. Ive forgotten about hating everyone here. I head back out to the party.

I start dancing. Everyone's moving and sweaty and the air is thickly hot. I feel amazing, invincible. I can do anything. I can run eleven miles in five minutes. I can save the world. I am GOD.

Someone dances up behind me. Their hands settle on my waist and they start grinding their hips into my ass. Their fingers start to wander over my stomach and up my chest. Hands slip under my shirt and fingernails claw against my ribs. Something stirs deep in my core and i feel my cock twitch. I am suddenly desperate for a really, really good fuck.

I turn around, hoping the person behind me isn't just Gee being an ass. But it's not Gee.

Its Frank.

I grin, never so glad to see him in maybe my entire life. Frank and i started fucking two or three months ago- no strings, just fun. Blowjobs in the shower, handjobs in various bunks on the bus (usually Gee's just to spite him- haha). Ive fucked Frank in countless hotel rooms and gas station bathrooms, in dark corners in multiple venues all across the country, even in between tour buses at night. He's undoubtedly the best lay ive ever had, has the hottest ass ive ever seen and, at this moment, Frank is my favorite person in the entire goddamn world.

Frank presses his body flush against mine, grinding against me, his hard-on rubbing mine. He wraps his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me closer. Frank whispers in my ear, his tongue brushing against it as he speaks.

"You look really fucking hot tonight..."

He's loose and obviously pretty wasted. He oozes sex.

I bite softly at his jaw, teasing.

Frank groans.

"I have an excellent idea..." he whispers. His voice is dark, rough. I don't think ive ever been as turned on as much as i am right now. I take the bait.

"And what is that?"

"How about we go find a room."

He sucks hard on my neck.

"And you fuck me into the mattress..."

I grab his hand and start pushing past people. I want him. Now. I have to have him. If i don't fuck him this very minute, ill die.

I find an empty room in record time, slam the door shut behind us, then throw Frank up against the wall. My lips attack his mouth, his neck. He's panting and moaning and im frantically ripping open his jeans. He peels his shirt off his sweaty, tight little body and i start biting at his collarbone while i shove my hand in his boxers and start jerking him off.

Frank's head is lolling around, his eyes squeezed shut, and he keeping whimpering "Mikey, Mikey, Mikey" like my name is a goddamn prayer.

Frank is breathing hard, his chest fucking heaving, and when he screams that he's "Oh my GOD... gonna fucking CUM!!! i remove my hand from his jeans and force him onto the bed. Im tearing at my clothes- ripping my shirt off and kicking urgently out of my jeans. Frank has taken all of his clothes off and is laying naked on the bed, touching himself, watching me strip.

I get my boxers off and im on him.

I crush my mouth against his and he tastes so so so good. He bites sharply at my lips and our tongues meet outside our mouths. His skin sears against mine. I am on fire. I. Am. On. Fire.

I reach quickly for my jeans, locate my wallet and snatch a condom out of it. I tear it open with my teeth and hurriedly put it on while Frank is getting on all fours. Words and want and need start falling from my mouth.

"Oh god, Frankie."

"Fuck me, Mikey."

"Frankie..."

I don't have any lube. I start spitting on my hands and rubbing it on my erection, then suck on my fingers and slip one, two, then three into Frank. He's moaning like crazy, totally uncontrollably and, without warning, i shove roughly inside of him.

He screams.

I start thrusting and thrusting and rolling my hips, getting deeper and deeper inside of him. He's moaning "Mikey, Mikey, Mikey..." and im moaning "Frankie, Frankie, Frankie..." and when my cock nudges against his prostate he starts shrieking "FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME".

I tangle one of my hands in his dirty black hair and start yanking and tugging on it because i know he likes it, know he loves the burn and the hurt, know it drives him wild.

Im grunting, getting closer and closer to climax with every thrust inside his hot, perfectly tight ass. Frank's making these insanely animalistic noises and the room is rocking with the sound of our skin smacking together and his moans crashing against mine.

Frankie's frantically jerking off, panting, racing towards his orgasm. I push his hand away and start stroking him, tugging on his cock, every jerk of my hand matching each of my thrusts. His body starts to shake and his spine contorts into a sky-kissing arch.

"OH MY GOD"

Frankie cums hard, his seed streaking across his sculpted stomach and spilling over my fingers. And that's when i lose all control.

Every single muscle in my body contracts and my eyes squeeze shut. My blood is racing through my body and everything is white and very, very hot.

"So good... Oh my g-... JESUS FUCK!"

I have the absolute best, most amazing orgasm i have ever had. Ever.

I collapse on top of Frankie, our skin slips against each others, slick with sweat. He whimpers

"Jesus, Mikey..."

Im completely spent. All i can do is "hmm" in response.

I pull out of him slowly and watch him shudder. I pad smoothly into the bathroom in the corner and throw away the condom. I turn on the sink, bend over and briefly drink from it, then splash some of the water on my face.

When start walking back in the bedroom, i stop in the threshold of the doorway and stare at Frank. He's turned on a small fan on the bedside table and has flipped over to lay on his back. His eyes are closed and there is a satisfied smile is sketched across his flushed lips. His left hand is absently stroking his stomach. He's fucking beautiful.

I curl up on the bed beside him and he spoons against me. I grin, my eyes closed, my heart rate gradually calming. I sense his smile as his arms wrap around me. He bites gingerly at my earlobe and whispers close

"That was the best lay ive ever had..."

He giggles and its devastatingly cute.

I guess parties don't suck that much afterall...