FicWad

Erin

Disney movies gave me an unrealistic outlook on romance, as did fairy tales. Every story is the same: girl meets boy, they fall in love, and all of a sudden they're married and living in a castle.

You see, a more realistic fairy tale would be more like: girl meets boy, boy forgets about girl, girl hates boy's guts, boy remembers girl, girl forgives boy, boy dies in a tragic blimp accident.

Do you know how you're in grade two, and everybody gets along? It's totally different by the time you get to high school. The students are divided by so many ways, yet I always stand alone. I'm the girl you see eating alone in the bathroom at lunch, the girl who always has her head buried in a textbook.

As I'm walking down the hallway, I notice a group of kids walk up to me. I immediatley recgonize the group, as they torment me nearly every day. Well, not all of the group. There's Tyler. He has to be the most amazing boy I know. He's sweet and kind. He doesn't really pick on me, he just stands and watches.

Tanya, Tyler's girlfriend, shoves me against a locker, and I wince as the cold metal collides with my body. She calls me a foul name as her friends form a semi-circle around the pair of us. Tyler stands outside of the semi-circle, and I have to say he looks really uncomfortable. I choose not to reply to Tanya, and to suck it up.

Tanya is an ice queen in the way that she looks like one and in the way that she acts like one. She has long blonde hair that's almost white, and she has steel grey eyes. She doesn't really care about anyone other then herself, and she thinks that she's a princess and that the rest of the student body will wait on her hand and foot.

"Do you know what they say about you?" Tanya smirks.

"What?" I whisper. My throat feels as rough as sandpaper, and I would give anything to have a drink from the water fountain right now, even if the water does taste like sewage water.

"They say that your mom didn't really have a car accident. My mama says she killed herself, and with a daughter like you, I can't blame her." Tanya sneers. I feel as if all of the air has been pushed out of my lungs.

The truth was that my mom had killed herself when I was three and my sister, Summer, was five. What had happened was that my mom had found out that my dad had been cheating on her. She had become so depressed that she drove off of a cliff.

I try to speak, but no sound is coming out. I push through the semi circle surround Tanya and I, and run.

Tyler

I don't even know why I'm dating Tanya when she's hell bent on making peoples' lives miserable. Then again, I'm a pretty big jerk too. How could I have stood there just now and watched an innocent girl get picked on? I mean, Erin has never done anything mean or cruel.

"Tyler, are you coming to lunch?" Tanya asks, interupting my thoughts. I begin to speak, but then I notice something shiny on the floor.

"Give me five minutes and I'll meet you there." I say. As I watch the group leave, I bend down to pick up the object I had noticed a second ago. It turns out that it's a cell phone.

I know I should return it to the school office, but what harm could be caused if I only found out who it belonged to?

As I browse through the options, I notice that there is an "unsent messages" options. I select the option and open the first message. I notice it's adressed to 604-777-5503. Only, that's my phone number.

I slowly scroll down to see what it reads, and I take a sharp breath as I read the words 'I love you'.

Nobody has ever told me that they loved me. Not even my own parents. Now I'm even more curious to see whose phone this is. I check the number of the cell phone and begin to walk down to the school office to return it.

Erin

I know I can't hide in the supply closet forever, but I can't bear to face anybody. I gave in, I had just shown them how weak I really was. Now there was no telling how worse this situaltion could get.

I watch a few mice scamper by, and my heart stops beating as I see the doorknob begin to slowly turn. Looking for a place to hide, I notice a garbage can. There's no time for me to see if it's empty or not, so I dive in.

An hour later and the janitor has finally left. I wait a few minutes just incase he comes back before I climb out of the can. I quietly slip into the hall, planning to phone my dad. As I search for my cell phone, my eyes widen as I find that it's not there. I guess I must have dropped it earlier on. The first place to look for my phone is probably the office, so I begin to walk towrds it.

As I walk, I catch my reflection in a locker, and I can hardly believe it's me. All I can see are dull brown eyes that are bloodshot, pale skin and greasy black hair that hasn't been washed in two weeks.

I don't know when I stopped taking care of myself. Maybe it was when I realized that no matter how hard I try, whether I look good or bad, whether I'm smart or stupid, whether I'm fun or boring, I'll never be accepted.

I pick up my phone from the office and I'm just about to phone my dad when it rings.

"Hello?"

Tyler

I can't say I'm not shocked that it's her cell phone. Infact, I'm literally speechless.

"Hello? OK, it's not cool to crank call people." The voice on the other line says angerly. I know I should just hang up, but memories of earlier on flood my head, and a wave of pity flows through my body.

"Hey, um, Erin? This is Tyler. I'm sorry about what happened earlier on today. I know Tanya can be a witch sometimes, and that's why I broke up with her. So if you're not busy tonight, we could go see a movie if you want." The words fly out, escaping my mouth as if they were butterflies trapped inside a jar.

Erin is silent, and for a second a thought crosses my mind: what if I had dialed the wrong phone number? What if Erin didn't like me at all?

"You know Tyler, I would like that." She says softly. I'm about to reply when I hear the dial tone, and I know she's hung up.

That evening I follow the directions Erin has given me, and although I do find her, she's waiting by a bus stop.

Erin

I climb into Tyler's beaten up caddillac, inhaling the scent of air freshener.

"I could have just picked you up from your house, it wouldn't have beena problem." Tyler smiles at me. I shrug, but my stomach turns thinking about how Tyler would react if he saw the dingy cottage my family and I live in.

The movie theatre is only five minutes away from the bus station, which is good because we have nothing to talk about except the weather.

Tyler

I mutter a curse word as we walk into Cineplex. I forgot that thursday nights were the nights my friends and I went to the movies. There, in the ticket lineup, is Tanya and our other friends. At first I don't think she sees me, but then I notice she's tryign to pierce daggers into my skin.

"Erin, why don't you go buy some popcorn while I wait in line?" I hand Erin some money and watch as she walks away. I shove my hands into my jean pockets and casually walk up to the group.

"Hey guys, what's up?" I ask innocently.

"What's up? WHAT'S UP?!" Tanya shreiks. I bite my lower lip. Tanya's gone on the warpath.

"I'll tell you what's up. How can you cheat on me, especially with her?" Tanya hisses. With all of the commotion Tanya's creating, I have to make her shut up some how. After all, she was making a scene. But I can't tell her I'm just being nice. Tanya hates being nice. Her life motto seriously is, 'nice guys finish last'.

My mind races for any exscuse that I can think of. I'm trapped, and I'm pretty sure that tonight is going to be my last.

Erin

I don't remember when I've felt so happy. I sing to myself as I walk towards Tyler, a giant tub of popcorn in my hands. I notice he's talking to Tanya and a few of his friends and my heartbeat quickens. I can definitly sense that there's something wrong, and my ears perk up.

"I'm not really going out with her. I'll dump her tommorow at the dance. It's all a joke."

I drop the tub of popcorn, and soon the thin, grey carpet is scattered with yellow bits and pieces. Tears that are hot as fire, yer as cold as ice sting my eyes and my stomach churns like a laundry machine. The sounds coming from the arcade are like fingernails down a chalkboard, and suddenly the once dim lights are blinding me. It's an entire two minutes before I realize I have fallen to my knees, sobbing.

Tyler

I watch, frozen, as Erin picks herself up and runs out of the theatre. I can't believe I caused her to react like that.

"I'm sorry your plan didn't work out for you, but what just happened now was priceless." Tanya sniggers. I stare at her, astonished. She must have the prettiest face I have ever seen, even if it's also the coldest face I've ever seen. Erin, on the other hand, when I had picked her up, and she had smiled, her face had shone like the moon, and I had never felt happier.

God, what had I done?

Erin

I feel so hollow and empty. Like and empty shell...an empty shell with a broken heart. Just when I had thought my Prince Charming had swept me off of my feet and whisked me away from a closet inhabited by mice, he's dropped me back onto the cold, dirty ground.

I go to school the next morning, just as usual. I brace myself to hallways full of laughter and all eyes on me, but everybody is to busy talking about the dance to notice me. In fact, if it hadn't been for last night, it probably would have been a good day.

When I get home from school, I just want to sink into my matress, but I know I can't, because I'll get in trouble with Nana if I don't do my chores.

Nana is my dad's mom, and she moved in with my family after my dad realized he couldn't raise two teenage girls on his own. Nana is the sweetest old lady I know, but...well, let me put it this way. She believes in corporal punishment.

I change into a pair of dirty ripped jeans and a black hoodie before I start to fill a bucket with warm water and bleach. Sighing, I begin to scrub the kitchen floor. It doesn't take too long before my knuckles are raw and bleeding, and it feels as if my hands are going to fall off. This is when Summer walks through the door.

"Oh my gosh, Erin, what happened?" Summer drops her textbooks on the freshly scrubbed floor and starts to mix a whole bunch of liquids into a large basin.

"Here, this should help." She leads me over to the large basin, which now contains a murky brown mixture that smells like old cabbage. I emerge my hands, hesitating, and a burning sensation that soon turns into relief spreads through my body.

"Go and get ready for your dance, and next time wear gloves." Summer says sweetly.

"Nana doesn't like me wearing gloves. Besides, I'm not going to the masquerade."

"What? Why not?" Summer sits down next to me. For a few minutes, I don't reply, but then I begin to pour my heart's contents out. When I'm done, Summer just takes my hand, smiles and shakes her head.


"In life you're always going to have to face obstacles, but you just have to overcome each one and move on. Things seem tough right now, but you have to keep on, going, you know what I mean?"

"Well, I guess so. But even if I did want to go to that dance, I don't have any friends. I'd be a total loner."

"Didn't you say it was a masquerade?" Summer smiled.

An hour later. we sit on my bed trying to find a dress for me to wear.

"I may have something." Summer leaves the room to return with a long, silver box.

"I had made this for class, but I suppose I could fail. I don't mind..." She trails off, lifting up the cover of the box. I can't help but gasp. It's the most beautiful dress I have ever seen. It's a soft peach color that looks as if it was made out of silk instead of the cheap and scratchy material that my sister had bought a few weeks ago at the dollar store.

"Summer, you can't fail your class for me. You have big dreams and-"

"Failing this class isn't going to ruin my dreams, Erin. If some higher power wants me to do what I want to do, thenit's going to happen. I just have to have faith. Every day, I wake up in that dingy room of mine. And every day, I tell myself the same thing: Summer, if you can make it one more day, then everything is gonna be fine. You just gotta keep on keeping on. Do you know what I mean?" Summer wraps me in a tight hug as I nod yes.
Tyler


My eyes are fixated on her from the moment she walks into the gym. She's beautiful beyond comparison, with long black curls that fall onto her shouders, smooth ivory skin and brown eyes that sparkle beneath a white mask decorated with a single pink squiggle. Why hadn't I noticed her until now?

As I walk up to this girl, thoughts of Tanya leave my head completely, but a voice inside my head screams Erin over and over again.

Erin

I notice out of the corner of my eye that a kid is walking up to me. I can't tell who it is, because a mask is hiding his face.

"Do you wanna dance?"

Tyler

"Um, OK?" the girl says uncertainly. Hesitating, she places her hands around my waist. I softly chuckle and take hold of her wrists, gently guiding her hands to my shoulders. She lowers her eyes, blushing.

"So, have I seen you before?" I ask her.

"Ah, no, I am a exchange student from France." The stranger says with a heavy accent I had not noticed a moment ago.

"France, eh? That's cool. What's your name?"

"Erm, Renee." She sounds confused, so I leave her alone and stop asking her questions.

Within one minute, her hands wrap around my neck and her head is resting on my shoulder. She looks up, and her eyes, full of confusion yet certainty, meet mine. I cup her chin and tilt her head up, bending down. Our lips are nearly touching, but then I stop us and reach to slip her mask off.

Erin

I gasp and draw back from the boy. I can't let him know who I really am.

"I-I have to go to the...washroom?" I stutter and run out the gym. I push the bathroom door open to be greeted by Tanya and some of her friends.

"I don't know who you are, but you were dancing with my boyfriend." Tanya spits, every word coming out of her mouth like a drop of venom. The realization of Tyler and I dancing hits me, and I am more confused then ever. Tanya's friends begin to advance on me, but Tanya stops them with a wave of her hand.

"This one is mine, girls. I'll deal with her myself." Tanya smiles. I begin to back away from her. With every step she takes, my heart beat quickens. Slowly, I back myself up against a wall.

Tanya grabs my by the collar of my dress and pulls me towards her. And, for some reason, all I can think of is how sad Summer will be if her dress is ruined.

"You're really pretty. Too bad you're not goign to be like that much longer." Tanya sneers and throws me effortlessly, as if I was a candy bar wrapped. Those few seconds as I flew from one side of the room and into the mirror, itwas as if I was in purgatory. Like I was nowhere, just floating. I scream as my body crashes into the mirror, glass shattering. I slide down onto the cold linoleum floor, shards of glass cemented into my skin. I feel warm blood run down my face and arms.

"Um, Tanya?" One of her friends says uncomfortably.

"SHUT UP!" Tanya roars.

"But- she looks really roughed up. We should just leave her here." The girl says quietly. Tanya stares at me. Picking me up by the collar once again, she throws me against the wall.

"I want to know who this girl is." Tanya crouches next to me. I don't know if it was from the rapid loss of blood or the collision of my head and the wall, but I'm slowly slipping out of conciousness, and my vision is blurring. I continuosly see red dots flashing, and then, everything goes black.

I wake up only five minutes later, stretched out on the cold floor. My dress is caked with blood and dirt as is my hair. My mask is gone. My eyes tear up with shame and humiliation. I feet so- angry. So hurt and confused. Summer had said that I just had to have faith, that I just had to keep on keeping on. Well, Maybe that worked for Summer, but it didn't work for me. Angry, I pick up a piece from the mirror from the floor. Locking myself in a toilet stall, I press the cold piece of glass against my wrist, slowly dragging it. I watch as the blood drips, oddly satisfied. I do it again and again, until I have a scar for every one of my problems. I'm about to press it against my throat, right where my jugular vein should be. That's when I see it. My beautiful rescue- in the form of a shotgun.

I don't bother to question the oddity of a shotgun stashed in a toilet stall. Instead, I slip it into my purse and calmly walk out of the bathroom.

Tyler

"Oh, God." I whisper as I see 'Renee' enter the gym once more. I rush up to her and see the blood matted in her hair, the bruises and scars covering her body and the rips in her dress.

"Erin- is that you? What happened?" I place an arm around her. She draws back from me, shaking. I can see from her facial expression that she's trying to look tough, but looking into her eyes, I can see that she's scared and confused.

"Attention everybody, it's time to announce the Ice King and Queen!" We get intterupted by a girl standing on the stage. Before I know it, Erin is up on the stage too, grabbing the microphone from her.

Erin

"I also have an announcement." I say, pushing the girl off of the stage.

"Not one person in this entire gym has ever made me feel welcome. Like I was one of their friends. Nobody wanted me. Nobody liked me. But that's OK. I can't make people like me. That's why I've decided I'm going to do something good. Something that's going to make you all happy." I pull out the shotgun.

"Goodbye, cruel world. Those three words are so cliche- but I say it best." I smile bitterly and point the gun to my head.

Tyler

I tackle Erin to the ground before she can pull the trigger. I attempt to grab the gun from her.

"Tyler- no. I'm doing what's best for me. You can't stop me from doing this. You're taking away what can make me happy for once in my life."

"Erin- I love you. I realized when you pulled out the gun how much I cared." I grunt as I try once more to get the gun out of her hands. But, I definitly fail on that.

Erin

I watch as he accidentally pulls the trigger. Still, I watch without a word or a motion as the bullet pierces his heart. Not until the blood begans to appear do I back up. No matter how much you love someone, you'll back away when their pool of blood edges too close. I calmly pick up the gun. It actaully amazes me that none of the chaperones have done anything. They probably think I'm bluffing. But even if I was, they could have atleast done something for Tyler. Shrugging, I stare directly into the crowd and press the gun directly to my head once more.

It's like that From First to Last song, when Sonny Moore sings about love leaving you blins. Only in my case, it's more like love leaves you dead. I pull the trigger.