FicWad

This isn't poetry or anything.
It's a letter to an idiot.
You know who you are.

I hate you.
I just plain hate you.

"Said I loved you, but I lied."

That's a bit of a lie, too.
Because I did love you.
I loved you to pieces.
I loved you the same way I love Tara or Cherise;
You were my best friend.

You lied to me.
You fucking lied to my face.
"I'm here for you."
"I won't tell anyone."
"Promise."
"Promise."
"/Promise/."

But the biggest lie of them all was the one that caught me.
I was so blind, how did I not notice?
"I love you. I always have."
And I said, yeah, I'd be your girl.
After months of you insisting that you didn't have a thing for me, that we were just friends.

Newsflash, baby;
I was never attracted to you.
You're not hot.
Sorry.
I have a thing for emo boys and skater hair, and you are far from it.
I hated holding you hand.
It was sweaty.

That night on the couch?
I didn't want to kiss you.
I practically told you to get your fucking tongue out of my mouth.
I was kissing my best friend.
You saw me crying just as you were leaving.
Because I had just seen a different side of you.
And I hated it. I wanted to go back to being friends.
Just friends.

You know, now I can't listen to 'It's not a side effect of cocaine, I am thinking this must be love' without throwing up?
You think it was so romantic.
Our song.
Whatever. You ruined it for me.

You knew me like the back of your own hand.
But I could be on the verge of tears and you'd look away.
You hated dealing with me.
Silly Lexi and her emotions.
Just PMS, I guess.
Yeah, whatever.
You're such a coward.
Couldn't even look your own girl in the eye.

And I'd yell at you.
I wanted you to get angry with me.
I wanted a reason to break up.
But you'd just mumble and look away.
Idiot boy.

You always told me how smart I was.
Never how beautiful I am.
'Cause I'm not ugly, you know.
"You're so smart."
For once I want to be beautiful.

I regret all of it.
I regret spilling my guts to you.
'Cause now you know my deepest, darkest secrets.
You know the real Lexi.
And you could use it against me.
I bet you will.
I'm waiting.
It'll be posted all over the school.

See, you said you were my best friend and you never told your other friends my secrets.
But I bet you did.
So to make up for it, I told Tara all your secrets.
Ha.
Lexi scores a point.

And that day in the snow?
It was storm material.
I don't know why we were at school.
The roads were blocked.
But I summoned up some courage, and told you;
"It's not you, it's me. Let's just be friends."
And you believed me.

Y'see, baby, it WAS you. And I DON'T want to be friends with you anymore.
'Know why?
Because you fucked it up.
Yeah, I'm blaming it all on you.
Because you wasted two whole fucking months of my life.

Yeah, I'm a bitch.
But I am the best fucking thing that ever happened to you, boy.
That will ever happen to you.
And you blew it.