Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > At Least He Makes Me Forget...

Chapter 14

by Gangsta_Girl 15 reviews

A dream left unspoken...

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: R - Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2007-03-28 - Updated: 2007-03-28 - 2071 words

I entered the hotel's lobby, which was unnaturally empty save for the hauntingly gorgeous melody being played from a slick ebony piano.

The keys of the piano bounced off the walls, encircling it, dousing the entire room in this eerie unseen glow. It was as if stepping through time. The memorabilia of decades previous streaked the walls in dusty frames. In all honesty it reminded me of the era defined in Build God, Then We'll Talk. It felt familiar and far away.

A dream left unspoken.

I let the symphony of heartbreak lift my feet and guide me to the pianist resting at the piano, completely drowned in the precise timing and flow of his nimble fingers against the long porcelain keys.

I watched him from the corner of the room, entranced by his poise and perfectionism. The serious determination in his eyes were shielded by his attention-grabbing red frames nestled on the bridge of his nose. I drew a silent sigh. If I didn't know any better I could have sworn that he had been crying due to the soft luster that shone on his cheeks.

"Well, I'm afraid that I... Well, I'm afraid that I... Well, I'm afraid that I- I lost myself... I lost. Myself..." His voice drifted solemnly. Every once of emotion was escaping from his throat in the most tragic resonance.

He played the final keys, letting them ring infinitely until the notes eventually dissipated into the air. He slammed his fist down onto the piano, sending the thunderous boom of numerous tunes around him once. Twice. Three times.

The piano strings hummed violently as he brought his elbows up and caught his face in his hands. He sat there for a moment before standing up. He scooted the seat back and went to leave but paused when he finally saw me walking towards him.

"What are you doing?" He asked, roughly.

I stopped mere inches from him. I looked up into his eyes, lined with swollen lids. My knees felt weak and my chest felt constricted. I couldn't breathe.

I tipped my head upwards and lifted myself on my tip toes to press my lips against his. I lingered there softly waiting for response but to no avail. The tears threatened to spill from my mahogany eyes, but I blinked them back as I turned to walk away.

That's it.

I've lost him.

I felt a pair of calloused hands grab me and spin me around. He pressed me against him forcefully, crashing his lush lips against mine. The tears I tired to hide fell freely, cascading down my cheeks languidly, unlike the vivacity in which my heart was beating.

I attached my hands around his neck drawing him deeply as I kissed him back. He swiped his tongue sweetly against my lips needing entrance. I accepted, encountering his tongue with my own. He gripped my hips tightly, kneading his fingertips into my tanned skin. I groaned at his fiery touch.

He wiped my tears with his thumbs as his hands braced the sides of my face lovingly. His lips met mine perfectly. It was exactly like the first time we had kissed. High above the world, floating among the clouds, lost in each other. I breathed deeply against his lips when we finally parted. It was like my lungs could finally function properly again.

Brendon Urie is my oxygen.

He pecked another blissful kiss on my reddened lips before entrapping me in his arms. I hugged him back, never wanting to let go. I felt safe, loved in the warmth of his body.

He didn't say a word. He didn't need to. But then again Brendon can't go long without hearing his own voice.

"Thank you."

"For what?" I breathed into the cotton texture of his shirt.

"I..." He chuckled softly, "I honestly don't know."

"Well, you're welcome, Brendon."

He looked down at me in his arms. "About last night..." He started.

"I'm sorry. I don't remember it all." I shook my head lightly. "Thank Jon for that one," I added sarcastically.


I raised my head from its position on his chest. "What do you mean 'oh'?"

"Nothing. It's just. The sex was fucking amazing."

"WHAT?!" I punched him in the arm.

"Ow!" He yelped, still containing me in his embrace. "That hurt!" He squeezed me tightly as he rested his chin on the top of my head. "Seriously though...I might have to let Jon get you drunk more often."


He laughed insanely. "I'm just kidding, baby. I'm just kidding."

I smiled as I hugged him. I removed myself from his chest (with much will power, I might add) and turned fluidly. I began to amble away, but stopped after a few steps. I stuck my left hand out as I peered back at him over my shoulder. "You coming?"

He grinned stupidly and instantly interlaced his fingers with mine.

--- --- ---

The days went by quickly. It was as if being on 'pause' for so long finally caught up with me.

Next thing I knew we were all huddled at Brendon's house trying to hang on to the last possible moments of relaxation before Panic! had to go back on tour.

We had glued ourselves to his living room, alternating between competitive matches of Guitar Heroes and movie-thons. Currently, the screen flashed one of Pete's favorites, Closer.

"You know. The first time I watched this...I only wanted to see where the quotes used for Lying...and But It's Better If You Do came from. Silly, I know." I laughed nervously stealing Brendon's Capri-sun from his hand and sipping the rest of the sweet liquid.

"It's a good movie though, huh?" Ryan peeped up.

"Oh yeah. It's just different."

"I like different."

"Me too." Spencer agreed raising his arm as if he was in elementary school, trying to get the teacher's attention.

"Aw, Spency." Jon cooed before rubbing his knuckles into Spencer's scalp.

I adjusted myself closer to Brendon with my head on his lap and continued watching the rest of the movie. Brendon stroked my hair, running his fingers between the long strands. I felt my eyes grow heavy and Brendon's soothing actions weren't helping. I closed my eyes, convincing myself that I was just resting for a minute, but my body knew better and I dozed off.

I must have been asleep for over an hour before my ears perked up to Brendon's voice.

"...I really need your opinion on this."

I parted my eyes open slightly, but shut them before any of them knew I had woken. I stayed conscious of my breathing and movement as I eavesdropped on their conversation.

"Dude, I don't know. I mean, you don't know how she's going to take it." Spencer revealed.

"So, you think it's a bad idea?"

"I don't think that's what Spence is saying," Ryan interjected. "He's just saying that you might be making a mistake."

Brendon balanced the weight of my head on his lap as he slouched on the couch. "Thanks, Ry. That makes me feel a hell of a lot better."

"Don't get all pissy with me, Brendon. You asked what we thought. You can't get mad for us telling you what we think."

Jon spoke calmly. "If that's what you want to do then fine. We can't stop you, Bren. I just hope you really thought this through."


"Maybe isn't an answer. Especially on something like this!" Jon raised his voice.

"Shut up Jon!" Spencer hissed. "Do you really want to wake her up?!"

Brendon sighed, his breath reaching my face. I twitched at the sensation. "Well, I have to say something to her. I don't think I can keep this from her any longer."

"Well, good luck with that. We're here for you... whatever the outcome." Ryan said softly.


"No prob."

"Well, we better head out of here. Gotta rest up. We have a lot of stuff to do before we head out," Ryan glanced at his watch. "tomorrow." He laughed. "Damn, I can't believe it's already 2 am. C'mon. Let's go."

"Good night, Brenny Bear." Jon squeaked before setting into a short-lived fit of giggles.

Brendon spoke sleepily, "I'll see you all later."

"Bye Brendon." Spencer's voice called out before I heard the sound of a door close.

Brendon somehow managed to move himself from the couch and picked me up. My limbs dangled as his arms held up my form around my back and knees. We traveled down the hallway and into his room. He placed me on his bed. I knew it was his due to the smell of the lavender fabric softener on the sheets. He threw the comforter over me and kissed my cheek. I opened my eyes and peered at him.

My eyes scanned his every movement as he stripped himself of his shirt and jeans. He crawled over to his side of the bed and edged closer, instinctively wrapping his arms around me with his chest in direct contact with my back.

"'Night, baby." He placed a feather-light kiss on my neck sending goose bumps throughout my entire body.

I closed my eyes and smiled.

I awoke the next morning to the faint smell of smoke before the fire-alarm decided to start blaring.

I silently crept through the house in nothing but one of Brendon's button-up shirts, my boy briefs and socks to investigate where the aroma was coming from.

"FUCK!" Brendon shouted, leaping up towards the fire-alarm and swiping his oven-gloved hand in front of it, dispelling the smoke. He rushed over to the windows and shot them open.

The oven beeped relentlessly. He ran over to it and threw open the door, expelling even more dark fog. "God dammit!" He yelped as brought out a muffin tray full of anything but muffins. More like pieces of charcoal. He tossed the tray into the sink with a metallic clang, frustrated, and tried to save the pancakes he was attempting to cook.

He flipped them over, but ended up sending the lop-sided pancake spiraling onto his foot. "Ah, SHIT!" He jumped up and down, holding his left foot, hopping around like an invalid. He flung the spatula out of the kitchen with a loud grunt.

"Baby, are you okay?" I asked meekly.

He wiped his forehead. "No." He clicked off the oven and kicked the door closed and leaned against it. He had his light blue jeans on, with gray boxers shining above the waist band. He crossed his arms over his exposed chest and pouted.

I took a seat at the dining table and faced him in the chair. "C'mere and tell me what caused you to go Martha Stewart this morning."

He sighed and limped slightly to the seat across from me. "I just wanted to make you breakfast. We haven't had the best track record on 'morning after's'." He let out a breath. "At least I didn't fuck up the orange juice," he proclaimed dragging a hand to point out the glasses of juice on the table.

I leaned forward and kissed him. "It's lovely. I appreciate the sentiment more than you know."

"This is so not how I planned it..."

"The breakfast isn't a big deal. Really. You can make it up to me." I smiled genuinely.

He took my hands in his. "We were supposed to have a god damn moment. I wanted this to be perfect."

"Don't worry. I love you... even if you have horrendous cooking skills." I giggled softly.

"You mean that? You love me?"

I nodded, grinning from ear to ear.

"I love you too... So, maybe you can understand why I'm going to do this."

"What are yo-"

He got down from the chair and onto one knee, keeping my hands in his. "Raquel..."

"Brendon, you..."

"-Raquel." He repeated, looking directly into my eyes. His fingers trembed, clutching onto mine. He gulped down hard.

"-Oh, my God. I- I..." My heart was about to pop out of my chest. This wasn't happening. It couldn't. It-

"Raquel...will you marry me?"

A/N: OMG! NO! Not another cliff hanger! I'm so horrible. LOL. BTW, the song he's singing in the beginning is Karma Police, the last couple of lines. I hope you guys don't hate me for how I left it... Review por favor! It makes me happy. (Almost as happy as Brendon Urie's smile.) :D
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