Categories > Books > Harry Potter

Pansy faces reality

by Racoona 0 reviews

The title is a good summary^_^ This story is plotless Pansy bsashing(Contains very mild Harry\Draco slash)

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: R - Genres: Humor - Characters: Draco, Harry, Hermione, Pansy, Ron - Published: 2005-10-13 - Updated: 2005-10-13 - 1497 words - Complete

Now, this is soo lacking a plot, pure Pansy Parkinson bashing^_^ I love myself for coming up with this idea^_^
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters used in this fic, and the first song belongs to Aqua, and the second one to Weird al Yancowich.

Song lyrics= (singing)



Draco Malfoy walked into the great hall, his robes flowing behind him, he went straight towards the Slytherin table and the love of his life

(Hi, Pansy!
- Hi, Dray!
- You wanna go for a ride?
- Sure, Dray!
- Jump in!)

Pansy jumped up in joy and followed her betrothed, walking arm in arm, her soft hair flowing behind her. She was so proud to be the girlfriend of Draco Luscious Malfoy, the 'sex god of slytgherin'.

(I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation

Come on Barbie, let's go party!)

She loved Draco and gave him anything any time, she wanted to be the perfect wife someday, she imagined herself inside the fabulous Malfoy manor as the lady of both the Parkinson's and the Malfoy`s. She loved to think of the prestigious position she would be in after the marriage.

(I'm a bimbo girl in a fantasy world
Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dollie
You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamouring and pain
Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky)

Pansy loved dressing up for her Drakie-pooh leather, spikes, and even chains, anything to please was her motto. The girl was a master in seduction and every boy and half the girls in Hogwarts were lusting after her.

(You can touch, you can play
If you say: "I'm always yours", ooh wow)

She loved when Draco played with her, it was the most exhilarating feeling ever. She was intoxicated with the blond, sexy godlike creature.

(Come on Pansy, let's go party!
Ah ah ah yeah
Come on Pansy, let's go party!
Ooh wow, ooh wow
Come on Pansy, let's go party!
Ah ah ah yeah
Come on Pansy, let's go party!
Ooh wow, ooh wow)

Mrs Malfoy, it sounded nice to her ears. She would plan prestigious parties, making every Lady in the country jealous, she felt like the Queen herself. Having a army of house elves to command, making plans for decorations, planning the menu, she couldn't wait!

(Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees
Come jump in, be my friend, let us do it again
Hit the town, fool around, let's go party)

Draco was quite fashionable, they could shop together, and they could eat dinners at the French Riviera. Ohhhh, the lovely possibilities, think of it Mrs Pansy Parkinson Malfoy, joy to the world, she'd grace them with her beauty and prestige every day, making everybody smile.

(You can touch, you can play
If you say: "I'm always yours"
You can touch, you can play
If you say: "I'm always yours")

Yes well always be together, were destined in the stars, me and my beloved Draco, nothing can change it no matter how hard they try, our love is too strong. To of the most beautiful creatures on Merlin's green acres were to be united as one in the holy matrimony of marriage.

(- Oh, I'm having so much fun!
- Well Pansy, we're just gettin' started
- Oh, I love you Draco)

It was a beautiful autumn day, right before the school ended, the leaves were whirling around us, my angel went down on one knee right before me, he reached inside his pocket, took out a box carved out of mahogany, and opened it, inside lay the official Malfoy bonding ring, he spoke.
"Pansy Parkinson, will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?"
"Yes! Yes, of course Draco"




(A\N: grins)

Draco Luscious Malfoy strode into the Great hall with the usual pride and dignity in place, his smirk was superiour when he called out to his fellow Slytherin, Pansy.

(Hey ugly wanna go for a ride?
Sure Dray!
Well forget it!)

She looked hurt, Draco didn't care, the blond walked over to the Gryffindor's and sat down beside his super gorgeous boyfriend, Harry James Potter. Said boyfriend was laughing hard at the way Draco insulted the ugly creature also known as Pugface.

(I'm an ugly girl, my face makes you hurl
Said I have it, I should bag it!
Acne everywhere, unwanted facial hair!
I'm a relation to Frankinstein's creation!)

The only reason Hermione felt sorry for the girl was because shi didn't have the god damn brains to figure out half the insults thrown at her. Like someone called her an unworthy imbecile, and she thought it was a new style so she thanked the Hufflepuff girl who threw the insult at her. She smiled the rest of the day. Draco an Harry laughed at the stupid bitch and went back to snoggin each others brains out.

(Your so ugly,
You disgust me!)

No one came within a three meter radius of the girl, dude she reeked like an god damn dumpster, you know, the ones with rotted food scraps, like ewww! The bad case of acne plus all of the extra facial hair made her look like o moulded peace of meat. Which so 'kindly' Harry pointed out in between the snogging sessions with his beloved blond angel.

(I'm a sad,
Homely girl,
All alone in the world
I'm as flat as board
Thin and lengthy)

She was a gangly thing, her body looked like Voldemort's, she had no breasts at all, her skin was grey and clogged up in every possible way, don't ask me how I know. Harry\Draco: shudders

(You're a doll
Get a troll
Were you hit by a train?
Don't come near me
'Cause your breath is stanky!)

If the girl knew of a concept named personal hygiene, she god damn never showed it! Bloody hell, she smelled worse than old cat food mixed with rotted Italian food! Hermione and ron made a point of throwing a bucket of water and soap each over the ugly pugfaced creature, so the halls would be stench free for at least a short period of time.

(Don't get touched!
I'm afraid!
'Cause guys say,
I'm an eye sore!)

No one wanted to touch the discussing girl, she'd have to get herself to the infirmary when she needed it, and there Madame Pomfrey would treat her from the other side of the room. The mindless girl smiled and was happy every day though, she believed that every one wanted the best for her, she was the Parkinson heir. (Parkinson family in unison: She's our only child, if not she'd be dead by now!)

(I'm an ugly girl, my face makes you hurl
Said I have it, I should bag it!
Acne everywhere, unwanted facial hair!
I'm a relation to Frankinstein's creation!)

She'd sing and laugh, when people avoided her, she thought it was a sigh of her royal status as a Slytherin and the heir to the Parkinson family, and when people sniffed the air around her, she saw in her twisted mind that they loved her new perfume, so shed walk around and sing Barbie Girl till her throat was sore, she believed she was Barbie and Draco Malfoy was her Ken.
Harry: Back off pugface! He's MINE!

(You're so ugly,
You disgust me!

Boo hoo, hoo, yeah!

You're so ugly,
You disgust me!

Boo hoo, boo hoo!)

Pansy was a disdainful, foul stinking, stupid, idiotic, bad breathed imbecile. The poor creature never noticed though, you know due to the major lack of IQ and brain cells. She was happy, and every one else had the fowl stench to deal with.

(Oh Draco let's go out and have some fun!
I'm sorry pugface,
But you're too damn ugly!)

Draco looked up at the fowl creature before his sensitive eyes, then he pulled Harry further away from the screeching bitch so said boy sat on Draco`s lap. It dawned on her, all she thought was right was wrong, oh so very wrong. (A\N: Muhahahahahahahaha Happy with self) The pugfaced gi- err...creature cried out to the blond sex god.

(Oh, screw you, Draco Malfoy!)

Harry: Only I get to do that, understood?!? NO one else! He is MY boyfriend, MY lover, and if I deem you WORTHY enough to be in his presence, I will tell you so!!! Draco Malfoy in MINE, my own, my presciousssss........


As you may have discovered, I hade a hate moment for Pansy when I wrote this, and I would love for you, yes you the one in front of the computer screen to click the review button and tell me how you feel about my lashing out an Pansy^_^
Sign up to rate and review this story