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After two weeks of Frank still unconcious all my guilt was starting t o take over me. I couldn't cope. It was eating me up inside. It's because of me that Frankie may never wake up.
I started crying just at the thought.

Gerard walked throght the door and found me sobbing into my hands.
"Hey, hey Mikey. It's gonna be okay" He said, while rubbing my shoulders
"It's all my fault Gerard" I couldn't keep it to myself any longer.
"What do you mean?" Gerard asked, still with his kind, soothing tone in his voice.
"I-I-I pushed him" I chocked out
"What?" Gerard spat rather harshly, taking his hand off my shoulders
"I-I pushed him. D-down the stairs"
"Get out" Gerard said calmly.
"W-what?" I croaked
"Get out. You don't deserve to be in here" He pointed to the door and I just stared in disbelief
My own brother kicking me out of my best friends hospital room?
"B-but.."
"No buts. You pushed him. Get out!" He yelled.
I had no choice but to leave.
I walked out the door and cried even harder, I didn't think it was possible. But I did.
I cried my heart out. How could I have done this to my best friend?
I slumped down on the floor with my back against the wall, rocking backwards and forwards slightly.

A nurse walked passed and saw me sitting there with tear stains down my cheeks.
"Are you okay?" She asked kindly
I nodded and wiped my eyes
"Okay, but if you need anything don't hesitate to ask"

A few days later and Frank was still unconcious, Gerard hadn't talked to me since I told him that I pushed Frank. I've talked to no one in four fucking days as mom and dad have been out all the Goddamned time. The only things I've said are the 'yes miss' or 'yes sir' in the register.

I walked down into the kitchen and saw Gerard sitting at the table eating some cerial. I was about to say something but he saw me and walked out, taking his cerial with him.
I started crying at the thought of Gerard hating me, Frank being unconcious and Mom and Dad caring so little that they didn't even know what was going on.
What did I even do to Gerard anyway? I pushed Frank, not Gerard.
"What the hell Gerard? What the fuck" I said aloud, through my tears and grabbed a cerial bar and walked off to school.

'School sucks without Frank' I thought and started crying again. Great. Crying in Goddamned school.
Everyone looked at me and started laughing.

The rest of the day was utter shit.
People told other people that I had been crying, and so now basically the whole school knew I had been crying.
Fuck it. The whole school is going to think I'm some emo fag with no friends.
Well the whole 'no friends' is right.
I'm pretty sure Frank is never going to talk to me.
And Gerard doensn't seem like he is going to any time soom.

I went home and sat in my room, thiking.
I decided that I hadn't tried to go and see Frank in a while.

I got to the hospital and walked into his room
There he was. My 'best friend'. The one I put like this. The one I could have fucking killed. All because I was scared I was going to lose my fucking brother.
"Well guess what Mikey, you just have" I mumbled to myself and sat down on the chair next to Franks bed.

You would have thought that I'd have no more tears left to cry. But no. More to come.
"Frankie.. I'm so fucking sorry, man. I over reacted. I was scared. I know that's no reason. And you probably hate me. Hell, I hate myself." I sighed "You can't even hear me, who am I kidding?"
"M-M-ikey.." Someone mumbled, just loud enough for me to hear.
I lifted my head up and saw Frank opening his eyes
"Oh my God! Frank!" And started crying even harder
Just that second Gerard walked into the room
Fucking great
"Get out Mikey" he growled when he saw me, but then noticed Frank awake "Oh my fucking God! Frank!"
"Uh-huh. Why does Mikey have to leave?" Frank croaked
I just bowed my head as more tears came cascading down my cheeks
"He pushed you Frank. That's not what friends are 'sposed to do" Gerard spat angrily and Frank just nodded, too tired to do anything else.
I turned and left the hospital. Going to home to curl up in my bed and cry some more.

A week later
Frank was back at school. But not talking to me. Everytime I would go near him he would just turn and walk away.
I think he's started cutting too. There's always blood on his sleeves, and he's always wearing long sleeves pulled down to the ends of his hands.
Did I do that to him? Hurt him so bad he felt the need to cut? Just so he could get over that his 'best friend' could have killed him?

A few days passed and I was sitting on my bed, looking at a picture of me and Frank, sobbing over it for what seemed the gazilienth time. I've been looking ath the picture everyday. I guess it's the thing that's keeping me sane. I needed the picture to breathe.

Gerard walked past my door and must have heard me crying. He walked into my room and sat down beside me.
"Shit man, you really do miss him" Why is he talking to me? It's been fucking weeks
"T-took you a w-while t-to n-not-ice" I sobbed harder
"Mikey, I'm so fucking sorry." He started crying
"Why are you crying? You've done nothing wrong"
"I stopped you from seeing him. I told him not to talk to you" He cried
"But I fucking pushed him. It was an accident. I swear. I over reacted. But I fucking pushed him"
Gerard hugged me close and I clung onto him as we both cried
"I love you Mikey. I'm so fucking sorry"
"I love you too Gee"

The next day I woke up and found Gerard lying next to me. I smiled. We used to sleep in the same bed when one of us were upset. But it stopped when Gerard and Frank stopped talkingto me.

I got out of bed and walked into the kitchen, Gerard appearing soon after.
"I really am sorry Mikes"
"It's okay"
"No it's not. I'm going to make it up to you" and he walked out the room to call someone.
A few minutes later he told me to get changed.

A while later the door bell rang
"Mikey! Can you get that?" Gerard yelled from his basement
I walked to the door and opened it. I gasped when I saw who it was.
"F-frank" I croaked out and started crying all over again.
"Mikey, I'm so sorry" He started crying too. Wow, why is everyone fucking crying
"You have nothing to be sorry about! I'm the sorry one. I over reacted. I was scared! Don't hate me Frankie"
"I don't hate you Mikey. I never did. Why were you scared?"
"I didn't want to lose my brother or best friend. Pathetic really."
"No it's not Mikey. It's understandable, I'm sorry Mikey. I shouldn't have liked him in the firstplace"
"You can't help who you fall in love with"
"I don't love him Mikey" Frank laughed through his tears and I couldn't help but laugh back through my own.
"Frank, why do you cut?" I whispered
"It's stupid really" He replied, looking down at his shoes
"Please tell me"
"Because I wasn't able to talk to my best friend"



Sorry it's a bit rushed
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