Categories > Anime/Manga > Get Backers
It's quiet in the car. Ginji chews on the inside of his lower lip, and casts a worried look in his partner's direction. Ban-chan is slouched low in the driver's seat, arms crossed before his chest, and an unlit cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. His glasses are set high on the bridge of his nose.
Ginji sighs, and twitches. Ban-chan hardly moves at all--could be made of stone, if not for the steady rise and fall of his chest, and the barely perceptible narrowing of his lips.
Ginji isn't sure, exactly, how long it's been, but it feels like forever since Ban-chan last said anything to him. Ban-chan says: be quiet; shut up; Ginji, for the last time, shut the fuck up! Ban-chan says lots of things, and that's the point. Ban-chan likes having someone to be loud to, and Ginji doesn't mind being yelled at, if yelling makes Ban-chan happy. He wishes that Ban-chan were yelling now.
If it's been forever since Ban-chan said anything, it's been almost as long since Ban-chan has looked at him. Ban-chan is always aware of his surroundings--looking for an opportunity to make a profit, and for the people who want to kill him (there are a lot of people who want to hurt Ban-chan) (but mostly, he's looking for the money). He's always aware, but Ginji is one of the only people who warrant Ban-chan's attention--even if it's only to correctly time a smack to the head, or a foot to the shin.
Maybe he's being greedy, but Ginji doesn't care--because he likes having Ban-chan's attention, and can't stand that Ban-chan's not looking at him right now.
Ban-chan is angry, and hurt, and Ginji understands that. Ginji has memories that make him ache, too, and old friends who've hurt him before they understood that he had reasons for doing the things he's done. Sometimes, when Ginji is hurt, Ban-chan will leave him alone. Sometimes, too, Ban-chan will drop his arm over Ginji's shoulders in the only kind of hug he's comfortable giving. Usually, whatever Ban-chan does do ends up being the right thing--exactly what Ginji needs to remember that he's here and now, and Amano Ginji.
Ginji isn't sure how to make Ban-chan feel better. Ban-chan usually pulls himself back together before Ginji can do more than worry about how to help. Sometimes, Ginji wishes that he could help Ban-chan the same way Ban-chan helps him. He's feeling bad for wishing that now, though, because when Ban-chan's sad, Ginji feels sad, too--and he's trying and trying and trying, but he can't think of the right thing to say or do.
He's so still and tense that Ginji's legs and shoulders and arms are aching with it. He breathes in and out, steady, and then twists around in his seat so that he's looking straight at Ban-chan. Ban-chan's cigarette is drooping lower and lower, but he hasn't moved.
"Ban-chan," Ginji says. His voice sounds too loud, but Ginji doesn't care, because Ban-chan's head has just cocked in his direction. Thinking is making his head hurt, and his stomach twist, so Ginji stops, and just acts.
Ginji tugs the cigarette from Ban-chan's lips, and swarms across the small distance between them. He almost falls, and Ban-chan grunts in protest because Ginji's fingers are already tangled in his hair. Ban-chan doesn't have the chance to complain before Ginji presses his mouth to Ban-chan's. He's kissing Ban-chan. That's. . . cool, Ginji thinks--awesome, and wow, and Ban-chan can't be mad, or sad, or hurt anymore, not when he's kissing Ginji back like that.
It's warm, and good, so good, and Ginji could just climb right into Ban-chan--okay, ouch, who put the roof there?--and it's awkward, and uncomfortable, but Ginji ends up on his knees and half-crouched over Ban-chan. Ginji still has a fistful of spiked hair in one hand, and the other is cradling the back of Ban-chan's head. Ban-chan makes a sound halfway between a grumble and a groan, and hooks his fingers into the waistband of Ginji's shorts. His back hurts from hunching over, and the parking brake is jabbing at him, but Ban-chan nips at Ginji's lip and this is great, so great, and Ginji could spend the rest of his life like this--
Except he has to breathe, and he smacks his head against the roof again when he pulls back from Ban-chan, gulping for air. Ban-chan's cheeks are flushed, and his spikes are bent in a hundred different directions. His glasses are crooked on his nose, and low enough that Ginji can see his eyes--clear and very, very blue even in the moonlit darkness.
"Ginji," Ban-chan says. He sounds strangled, and his voice cracks a bit, surprised. He clears his throat, and nudges his glasses back into place with his index finger. "Ginji. What the fuck?"
Ban-chan usually does the right thing to make Ginji feel better when he's upset. But sometimes, sometimes Ginji thinks the absolutely perfect way to make things look better again would be to crawl into Ban-chan's arms and stay there. He's not sure exactly what that man said to Ban-chan, but Ginji knows who Midou Ban is now, and he's Ginji's--and he can't and won't let Ban-chan hurt any more than he already has. It's important for Ban-chan to remember that this is here, and now--and that Ginji is his partner, always and forever, and no matter what.
"I wanted to," Ginji says, and it's enough.
"Idiot," Ban-chan says, but he's looking at Ginji, and smiling.
--end
Ginji sighs, and twitches. Ban-chan hardly moves at all--could be made of stone, if not for the steady rise and fall of his chest, and the barely perceptible narrowing of his lips.
Ginji isn't sure, exactly, how long it's been, but it feels like forever since Ban-chan last said anything to him. Ban-chan says: be quiet; shut up; Ginji, for the last time, shut the fuck up! Ban-chan says lots of things, and that's the point. Ban-chan likes having someone to be loud to, and Ginji doesn't mind being yelled at, if yelling makes Ban-chan happy. He wishes that Ban-chan were yelling now.
If it's been forever since Ban-chan said anything, it's been almost as long since Ban-chan has looked at him. Ban-chan is always aware of his surroundings--looking for an opportunity to make a profit, and for the people who want to kill him (there are a lot of people who want to hurt Ban-chan) (but mostly, he's looking for the money). He's always aware, but Ginji is one of the only people who warrant Ban-chan's attention--even if it's only to correctly time a smack to the head, or a foot to the shin.
Maybe he's being greedy, but Ginji doesn't care--because he likes having Ban-chan's attention, and can't stand that Ban-chan's not looking at him right now.
Ban-chan is angry, and hurt, and Ginji understands that. Ginji has memories that make him ache, too, and old friends who've hurt him before they understood that he had reasons for doing the things he's done. Sometimes, when Ginji is hurt, Ban-chan will leave him alone. Sometimes, too, Ban-chan will drop his arm over Ginji's shoulders in the only kind of hug he's comfortable giving. Usually, whatever Ban-chan does do ends up being the right thing--exactly what Ginji needs to remember that he's here and now, and Amano Ginji.
Ginji isn't sure how to make Ban-chan feel better. Ban-chan usually pulls himself back together before Ginji can do more than worry about how to help. Sometimes, Ginji wishes that he could help Ban-chan the same way Ban-chan helps him. He's feeling bad for wishing that now, though, because when Ban-chan's sad, Ginji feels sad, too--and he's trying and trying and trying, but he can't think of the right thing to say or do.
He's so still and tense that Ginji's legs and shoulders and arms are aching with it. He breathes in and out, steady, and then twists around in his seat so that he's looking straight at Ban-chan. Ban-chan's cigarette is drooping lower and lower, but he hasn't moved.
"Ban-chan," Ginji says. His voice sounds too loud, but Ginji doesn't care, because Ban-chan's head has just cocked in his direction. Thinking is making his head hurt, and his stomach twist, so Ginji stops, and just acts.
Ginji tugs the cigarette from Ban-chan's lips, and swarms across the small distance between them. He almost falls, and Ban-chan grunts in protest because Ginji's fingers are already tangled in his hair. Ban-chan doesn't have the chance to complain before Ginji presses his mouth to Ban-chan's. He's kissing Ban-chan. That's. . . cool, Ginji thinks--awesome, and wow, and Ban-chan can't be mad, or sad, or hurt anymore, not when he's kissing Ginji back like that.
It's warm, and good, so good, and Ginji could just climb right into Ban-chan--okay, ouch, who put the roof there?--and it's awkward, and uncomfortable, but Ginji ends up on his knees and half-crouched over Ban-chan. Ginji still has a fistful of spiked hair in one hand, and the other is cradling the back of Ban-chan's head. Ban-chan makes a sound halfway between a grumble and a groan, and hooks his fingers into the waistband of Ginji's shorts. His back hurts from hunching over, and the parking brake is jabbing at him, but Ban-chan nips at Ginji's lip and this is great, so great, and Ginji could spend the rest of his life like this--
Except he has to breathe, and he smacks his head against the roof again when he pulls back from Ban-chan, gulping for air. Ban-chan's cheeks are flushed, and his spikes are bent in a hundred different directions. His glasses are crooked on his nose, and low enough that Ginji can see his eyes--clear and very, very blue even in the moonlit darkness.
"Ginji," Ban-chan says. He sounds strangled, and his voice cracks a bit, surprised. He clears his throat, and nudges his glasses back into place with his index finger. "Ginji. What the fuck?"
Ban-chan usually does the right thing to make Ginji feel better when he's upset. But sometimes, sometimes Ginji thinks the absolutely perfect way to make things look better again would be to crawl into Ban-chan's arms and stay there. He's not sure exactly what that man said to Ban-chan, but Ginji knows who Midou Ban is now, and he's Ginji's--and he can't and won't let Ban-chan hurt any more than he already has. It's important for Ban-chan to remember that this is here, and now--and that Ginji is his partner, always and forever, and no matter what.
"I wanted to," Ginji says, and it's enough.
"Idiot," Ban-chan says, but he's looking at Ginji, and smiling.
--end
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