Categories > Movies > Newsies > Dream to Dream

Begining to Wake

by Raeghann 0 reviews

I lived my life in a dreamed up world far from the harshness of reality. Where my few virtues were far outweighed by my faults, and the pain of learning the truth about myself was almost more than ...

Category: Newsies - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst, Romance - Characters: Mush, Spot Conlon - Published: 2005-10-14 - Updated: 2005-10-15 - 3063 words

A/N: Oops I just realized I forgot to post the usual disclaimer stuff. Okay here it goes. Sorry Disney, I know you own Newsies and the characters of, I'm just borrowing them I promise I'll give them back. ( Or so they can think). Seriously I don't own any part of this story that comes from the movie Newsies. The rest is from my own weird little dreamland; I visit often called La La Land, home of the muses.

I suffered through the rest of the day, or at least I thought I suffered. I have to admit that walking through Manhattan in the shoes I was wearing would have made anyone suffer. I tried to suffer silently, but unfortunately for Molly that was not my way.

"My feet hurt." I whined for the tenth time in the past few minutes. Molly finally stopped dead and whirled on me.

"If ya don stop ya whinin' then I'm gonna leave ya here." Molly's voice held a sharp tone that never in my life had anyone talked to me with.

"Well I never." I gasped lifting my nose in the air snottily.

"Well I've never heard anyone moanin' so much in my life. If you're an example of what a rich woman is like then I thank the Almighty Father above that he blessed me with poverty." Molly snapped. "We'll remedy those shoes soon enough, but if ya don't stop ya cryin' we'll never get there."

I stared at her still unsure of what to do with this woman that stared me down as though she had every right to demean and ridicule me. Looking back on it she did, but at the time I was none the wiser as to the kind of person I was. I felt the tears that welled up in my eyes and she threw up her hands in disgust.

"Damn it." she cried. "Don't ya dare start cryin' now, if ya do I swear I'll leave ya here."

With a tremendous effort of will I choked back the sobs that I wanted to cry, straightened my shoulders and brushed past her to head down the street. I did not know in what direction I was to go, but I was not willing to admit that fact.

"Well, at least she's got some self control," I heard Molly chuckle "and perhaps a bit of spunk beneath that bratty exterior."

I chose to ignore the comment and allowed Molly to grab my elbow as I continued walking past the very shop that she had been taking me to. Excitedly, I realized it was a dress shop, meaning new clothing. I smiled radiantly as I sat in the nearest chair eagerly awaiting the styles and samples of cloth soon to follow. Molly glanced at me, but swiftly turned her attention to the woman that came from behind her desk with a cry of welcome.

"Molly me dear, what a wonderful surprise." She said as she hugged Molly, Molly smiled and hugged her back. "Are you looking for a new dress? I have some beautiful fabric that would just look lovely on you."

"No, I'm not due for another one just yet Maureen." She glanced back at me and I felt her companion's gaze shift to me. I sat up a little straighter and raised my head a trifle. "However, this young lady needs something a little more serviceable."

"Does the young lady have a name?" Maureen asked looking me over with an appraising eye, I shifted uncomfortably, never in my life had I been as scrutinized as I had been today.

"Bianca Victoria Windsor." I said with a significant amount of dignity that brought about the looks of distaste which had crossed their faces. They are just jealous, I thought trying to assure myself. However, the usual assurances I used to calm myself with were sounding weak even to my ears. Despite my considerable arrogance, I still knew when I was wrong. I knew they did envy me a little, but it was not the envy that made them act as they did, it was something else; I did not understand what it was, but I would find out sooner or later.

"Well," Maureen replied, "Bianca Victoria Windsor is rather long so if ye don't mind I'll just call ya Bianca."

"That will do." I sniffed, nodding in acknowledgement; Maureen crossed the room in three short strides and looked down at me.

"Ye'll be gettin' a lot farther in this city if ye don't look down ya nose at everyone." She said giving me a stern look that I would later learn she used on her children to quiet them. She dealt with the rich and mighty day in and day out, she had to simper and cater to their every whim. She saw and understood what Mush and Molly didn't. That it was not entirely my fault that I acted the way I did, we rich were raised as royalty, to believe that those below us were insignificant and there for either our amusement or our pleasure. We had money, therefore anything we wanted we got.

"I know ya not tryin' girl, but ye got to start watching what ye say and how ye act, or it's just goin' to get harder." Maureen told me gently touching my hand. I stared at her blankly and she shook her head as if to say at least she tried.

"So what do you have for her?"

"Do you have anything in fine Chinese silk, I think perhaps dyed a red color; yes that would go well with my complexion." I broke in almost clapping my hands. This was my territory, I knew clothing and I knew it well; it was the wearing of clothing I didn't know very much about. I had no idea what was suitable for my new station in life. Both of the women looked at each other then silently decided to ignore me.

"I have a couple of cotton shirts in the back that might fit her, a couple of skirts as well. I think I could have one altered enough to fit her today. I'll also make her something new, but at least the other articles should tie her over." Maureen said to Molly.

"Let's go in the back." Molly said motioning me to follow, which I did. I was too dumbfounded at their blatant ignoring of my wishes that I could do little else. No one had ever ignored me, nor had anyone dared to ignore my wishes. Luckily I remembered Mush's word about needing some clothing that blended in more. Looking at Molly and Maureen, I sighed; I couldn't possibly wear such dowdy clothing. I bit my lip as they discussed what I should wear, finally deciding on clothing that I would never have picked for myself. I tried to curb my anger as I was marched down the street to the cobbler for a pair of worn, but still serviceable shoes. It took some wheedling on Molly's part to get me to wear a pair of shoes that had previously been worn by someone else, at least long enough to get a new pair made in time for winter. By the time we made it back to the boarding house Molly was in a fine mood, irritated by having to stay with me all day, and worried about getting dinner on the table for her other tenants.

Not really caring about Molly's mood, I stomped upstairs in a tiff about the new clothing and the new boots. I chose to skip dinner, which had always made the servants and parents give into my wishes. Unfortunately here it meant there was more food for the others, so I feel asleep that night hungry, in a lumpy bed, and with a tear soaked pillow.

Molly woke me the next morning at dawn, an hour that was at least four hours before my normal waking time and I was not pleased about it.

"You'll do somethin' useful around here until ya find a job." Molly told me as I struggled into my new blouse and skirt, not at all thankful for the help she provided, as a maid had dressed me every day of my life. "You'll eat first."

"I'll have a cinnamon scone hot fresh from the oven, with cream drizzled over it, a cup of chocolate, and a bowl of fresh fruit this morning." I said, proving yet again I had no clue as to what my life was going to be like from here on out. Today would be my first rude awakening. Molly grumbled as she shook her head and started down the stairs. I looked at the doorway blankly wondering what I had said that had brought the scowl to Molly's face. I hoped she made sure that scone was piping hot; I wouldn't have anything other than straight from the oven. Slowly I made my way down the stairs. The tenants that I hadn't met the night before were already making their way out the door; a few gave me a curious glance, the last of which was a sweet faced brunette girl, she smiled shyly at me before disappearing into the sunny morning.

I sat at the table wondering where my place setting was. Molly entered with a bowl and a spoon and set it in front of me. Inside the bowl was some kind of grayish brown mush.

"What is this?" I cried in dismay.

"It's called oatmeal. This is what we are having for breakfast; this is what you'll have." Molly told me

"I will not touch that stuff." I snapped. "You will bring me what I asked for."

"I will do no such thing." Molly snapped back. "You will learn to live like us or you will leave. I have had it with your high and mighty ways, there isn't enough gold in the treasury to deal with you. I don't care if your father waltzed in here and laid a goose that laid golden eggs at my feet. I wouldn't do it. You will eat what we eat."

I sat back shocked. No one had dared to yell at me, ever, it would have been grounds for firing. Even my governesses were hired with the idea that they would cater to my every whim. I was to be petted, admired, and given the utmost attention. With out a word I turned and stomped out of the room, stomped up the stairs to my room, threw myself on my bed and burst into noisy tears. They had no effect; instead I moped around the room for the rest of the day. Finally, hunger took over and I did eat the stew that Molly had made for dinner.

"You will help me clean." She said as I finished my meal.

"I'm paying you." I replied. "As long as you are receiving my money then you have no say as to what I will and will not help you do."

Molly bit her tongue, I did not realize that the money would run out and I would eventually have to find some way to bring in income. Finally, the day came when Molly had had enough. Though I still had plenty of money, she decided to force the issue and make me take some responsibility in my life. She had heard me crying out at night caught in nightmares, but she did not know why. She understood I was hiding from someone, but it was time that I woke up and realized life was not going to do what I wanted it to just because I wanted it.

"You will help me clean today or you will leave." Molly announced slamming open my door. "Ya have run out of money and I will not support ya."

"I will leave then." I said stiffly once I had finally found my voice. I picked the bag that Molly had bought and started to pack the meager belongings I now processed. Molly turned on her heel and slammed the door behind her. When I finished packing and started down the stairs I found Molly in the common room waiting.

"Come here, sit down." She said as she gestured to the chair across from her. I looked at it as if it were a viper, then I looked back at her wondering if she was crazy. She gave me a benign look and waited patiently. I'm still not sure why I didn't let my temper tantrum get the best of me, but instead of leaving as I had been planning to do, I turned and sat down.

"Why don't you go home Bianca." Molly said softly. "You don't belong here, with your Chinese silk and your cinnamon scones. Don't you see you can never make it in the real world? Go back to your parties and your pretty dresses. Go back to your old life and give up this notion of staying here."

I looked at my hands for a few moments battling tears. Now if there is one thing I hate, it has always been being told I can't do something. Yet the sense of hopelessness I felt was batting down the determined anger that usually filled me. I knew I didn't belong, I had known that with every sidelong glance and every disdainful twist of their mouths.

"I don't have a choice Molly." I whispered; I hated to say it, hated to explain my misery and my reasons for being here. "I can't go back. I can't ever go back and it's all my fault."

"Why?" I glanced up at her to see her blue eyes watching me as though almost afraid to be sympathetic. I could tell she was searching to see if I was telling her the truth or if it was all an act.

"Because of what my guardian will do if I go back." I told her. "I tempt him, he can't help himself."

I didn't want to tell her, I figured she would think me evil. I wondered if she would see me as those of my own class surely would.

"And how do you do that lassie?" she questioned, a hard look coming into her eyes. I shrank back, afraid the look was for me. "No lass, tell me."

"I make him w...want me." I stuttered, blushing furiously at the words. "I'm beautiful he says, and like all women I am a temptress. He said he couldn't help himself, that it was all my fault."

Tears were making their way down my cheeks and I looked down at my hands. Gently, Molly's work roughened hand touched mine comfortingly.

"Did he?" Molly asked softly. I looked up at her and saw the sympathy she hadn't wanted to feel there.

"He tried and when I fought him he locked me in my room." I replied, my voice toneless as I recounted what had happened that night. "I was preparing for bed and he knocked on my door, opening it before I could get my wrapper on. I know I gave a startled cry and hastily tried to pull it on. He just smiled charmingly at me and told me he had come to wish me a good night. I remember thinking he had the face of an angel. His hair was this beautiful golden color, his eyes so blue, but those eyes gave me this feeling that there was something wrong. He crossed the room as I held the wrapper to me and kissed my forehead just as he had for weeks. Only this time he didn't stop there. "

I faltered and slipped from my chair numbly to the floor, Molly followed, her arms wrapping around me as she sought to offer comfort. It touched me that this woman who despised me could reach out and offer comfort when I was in obvious pain.

"Did he?"

"No," I said tearfully. "I bit his hand hard and it started bleeding, then I kicked him. I wasn't aiming for between his legs, it just happened that way. I don't know why that stopped him, other than the fact he was in pain, but he swore he'd be back in the morning. That he would take what he wanted from me, that I would be his little wh...whore."

I stumbled over the vulgar word, my cheeks flushing in embarrassment, both at what I had said and what had been said to me.

"I can't go back." I cried frantically. "I can't and I won't. I'll die in the streets if I have to, but I won't go back."

"Shh," she whispered, "It'll be alright now."

Like a mother, she rocked me back and forth whispering things in a language I did not recognize. Eventually my tears slowed, my sobs lessened, and I gained control over myself again.

"I am sorry." I said pulling away. "I am sure you think I deserved what he did, I have been horrid to you."

"No one deserves that lass." Molly told me taking my hand and squeezing it. "No woman should have to have it happen, but it does. More here than with your folk, but still it should never happen. It wasn't your fault, ya understand me lass, not your fault at all. Now that we know ya have no other choice than my little home, we will talk about what ya are to do here. I can't keep havin' ya disturbin' my customers, and since ya ain't got a job, ya gonna help me about here. Any half-wit can scrub, so scrub ya will. I want the floors cleaned and the beds changed every day. Once ya got those chores down then we'll work on adding more."

I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or highly displeased and I decided to push my thoughts aside for right now.

"I'll help ya Bianca, but ya have to trust me and ya have to let me help ya." Molly told me seeing the mixed emotions in my face. "If ya trust me and do as I say things will become much easier for ya."

I nodded unsurely, I didn't know what the future held, but the only choice I had was to put my faith into the woman that had taken me in.
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