Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Down the road, not across the street
You sing the words but don't know what it means.
3 reviewsWhat will Amara do when FOB & Panic! head out to tour? Also a fair bit of music used in this chap. ENJOY!
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Hey guys I'm back. Hope you enjoyed the last chapter and I hope this one is just as good or even better. I always think it's going ot be 'only a filler' and ends up heaps long. So meh. Okay, if you've been reading my fan fic you'll remember in a past chapter I suggested a song. We'll now I'm doing that again. Well similar. The had trouble finding audio clips, so this time I'm using videos. You don't have to watch them you can play them in the background. You dont even have to use them, especially if you're stuck with shitty dial up lol. Anyway these will just help you paint a picture. Well I'm talking too much so I will let you guys read this. ENJOY!
PS: if you want to load the video now so you're not waiting later here's the links.
VIDEO 1 -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNg_48GaoME
VIDEO 2 -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-vik_6l80U
*
Chapter 8: you sing the words but don't know what it means.
Amara's POV
"A month ago who would have thought that we'd get signed and record our first album." "AND now be on our way to tour with Fall Out Boy." I overheard Spencer talking to Jon.
Time had gone by so fast. And now they were all leaving to tour together, and lucky me would be stuck here. Alone. With my meaningless uni.
I left without a goodbye and headed for my usual lunch date with Pete. When I arrived, my thoughts had consumed me with bitterness and my foul mood had grown.
"What's up baby?" he asked me.
"Nothing," I replied with much animosity.
"Amara, stop being a lying biatch and fess up."
"EXCUSE ME!?! I'M the bitch!?! YOU'RE the jerk who's leaving me behind to go tour. You're leaving in less than TWO days. I'm not going to see you for months at a time, and we're spending our last moments having coffee. Whoop-dee-doo how freakin' memorable!!" I exploded.
He smirked. /Crap/, I hate it when I let him stir me. "Now doesn't that feel better?" he smiled calmly. Not wanting to attract any further attention, I just sat quietly after causing that scene. "Amara I've wanted to ask you something. I just had to do some stuff before I did. So... would you like to join us on the tour?"
My insides jumped and my heart felt light again. After releasing that angst I had built up over the past few days I felt better. Instantly I was overwhelmed with excitement. Not wanting to reveal my sudden euphoria, I paused. Of course I wanted to, I finally heard the words I was pining for, I thought to myself. But why when he finally asked me was I so hesitant to say yes. "Oh but uni?"
"What about it? We both know you're not happy there. You're not even sure if it's what you want anymore, so why waste you're time here when you could be wasting time with me."
He reached down into his messenger bag and pulled out some papers. "Here. I got you the forms to defer for a year. All you have to do is say yes and fill these out."
"Oh Pete! OF COURSE! I'd love to."
Ryan's POV
[Sunday]
We left this afternoon. We were due in Chicago by Tuesday for our first performance. The bus trip only takes about eighteen hours, so we should be there by midday tomorrow. Then we'll stay the night in a hotel for a decent sleep before the show. Our first live show. Oh god. It's terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. The Chicago show sold out months ago, but only announced us as the support less than a week ago.
When we first stepped onto the bus it was everything I had pictured and more. The bus seemed to stretch for miles. The bunks were at the back, and before that the bathroom, living area, a mini studio and then the kitchen. Everyone, other than Fall Out Boy, took in this unfamiliar surrounding. Amara, Jon, Lace, Bren, Spence and I were like tourists. The others just smiled watching us seeing as they were already used to this lifestyle. We were all sharing the one bus for the trip but we'd be getting our own separate tour bus later on. With Fall Out Boy, Panic, Amara, Lacey, Dirty (FOB's merch guy), Zach (our new bodyguard) and plus the bus driver all on the one bus, the large tour bus didn't seem so big anymore.
At first we sat around watching Disney and Pixar movies. Afterwards some of the boys needed to regain their manliness and started Guitar Hero. Pete and Spencer had grown tiresome of losing to Brendon and made their way over to the on-bus studio. I laid on the couch and watched Pete strumming the intro to Dance Dance. Brendon, on his way to the kitchen, started subconsciously singing. "She said she's no good with words but I'm worse..." He sang along.
"Dude, you're supposed to be practicing our songs. Not theirs!" Spencer feinting annoyance. Brendon hadn't noticed them in the studio area, his mind intent on the possible the contents of the fridge and the lack of contents in his stomach.
"And anyway. you can't sing it as good as me," mocked Patrick as he walked in.
Jon looked up from his laptop. "Whoa stand back and make room for Pat's ego."
"Wanna make a bet Stumpy," Brendon said defensively.
Spencer looked back and forth at the two lead singers, "Oh joy. I feel a singing contest coming up."
"Oh it is on!" smirked Patrick.
Amara and Lacey appeared from the hallway. "Did I hear singing contest?"
"Open mic night! B0o yah! Count me in," grinned Pete.
"Pete you don't sing. You know you're screamo." Joe corrected him. He was followed by Andy.
"I can sing. And those are my words," he argued.
Andy countered with, "You know just cause you're a lyricist doesn't always mean you can sing-sing. We know you gotta voice but I'm sorry it's not as good as Trick's."
"guyssss... it was gonna be me versus Patrick," Brendon whined.
"Oh, quit being selfish, everyone should have a go! It'll be fun, we need something to kill the time," said Lacey. "If you really want in the end everyone will vote between you and Patrick kz?"
"Ummm it's okay I'll just play guitar," I spoke up.
Amara looked at me with puppy dog eyes. "aww come on Ry. It'll be fun."
"So they keep telling me."
"Come on butthead." Her smile seducing me to listen. "Ah k, I'll do it if I can do backup vocals and duet with any of the guys."
Jon stood up. "Ah k just for some order, we'll each pull a number out of the hat. You can do a solo or duet or whatever. Two rules. No meanies and should we restrict song choices to something other than what you band sings?
Pete put his hand up. "Yes, Mr. Wentz we are not in kindergarten anymore," taunted Jon. Pete immaturely stuck his tongue out. "Can I sing one Fall Out Boy song please," he smiled eagerly. "Technically... I don't sing all of them, Patrick sings them. And apparently technically I don't sing but scream."
"Okay, whatever," we all laughed.
Pete got number 1. "I'll show you screamo," he smirked. He then leaned over to Amara and whispered, "Ummm. What should I sing?" "are you kidding?" she chuckled. "after your little objection to the rules. Haha ummm I don't know just not XO. Ummm I cant think I have too many. You just choose!"
"Oh, I know exactly what to sing!" He said suggestively raising his eyebrows.
Pete got Jon, Joe and Andy to play. He whispered his request into their ears. A familiar beat started, and then Pete started to sing.
/Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.../
His eyes fixated on Amara, who returned his gaze.
You only hold me up like this
'Cause you don't know who I really am
Sometimes I just want to know what it's like to be you
We're making out inside crashed cars
He winks at her. He's actually got a decent singing voice. Better than mine anyway.
We're sleeping through all our memories
I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive
now I only waste it dreaming of you.
Pete nods his head towards Amara.
Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness
'Cause all of our moves make up for the silence
And oh, the way your makeup stains my pillowcase
Like I'll never be the same
They continued to hold each other's gaze. Chemistry increasing intensity as he continued his version of a love song. My insides feeling sick with jealousy. Painful assumptions running through my head as I literally took in his words.
I've got headaches and bad luck but they couldn't touch you, no
I've got headaches and bad luck but they couldn't touch you, no
I'm not trying
You only hold me up like this!!
Pete finished. Several in awe of rarely hearing Pete sound so.. so.. so much sweeter than his trademark screaming. Amara was the only one who got up. She smiled and went up to hug him. "You're turn girlfriend."
She froze on the spot. "ummm on yea I got second. Hey Bren, can I borrow your acoustic?"
*
AUTHOR'S NOTE: VIDEO 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNg_48GaoME
Closest thing I could find to portraying what I wanted. I doesn't have as much strength/power as I had hoped but it's not bad.
*
"This song is one of my favourites, but more so I choose it cause it's the only one I can sing half decently to. Ry, this is the product of many unsuccessful lessons with you," she beamed at him.
She started to strum the guitar. An innocent and nervous voice resonated out.
I comb the crowd and pick you out
My mouth moves too fast for you to figure it out
It starts eyes closed to fingers crossed
She concentrated hard on the guitar strings. She finally looked up at all of us. When I caught her gaze I gave her a warm and encouraging smile.
To "I swear, I say"
To "I swear, I say"
The nervousness suddenly disappeared, and the room was filled with a sweet, soulful sound full of emotion.
To hands between legs, to whatever it takes
To drinks at the club to the bar
To the keys to your car
To hotel stairs to the emergency exit door, nooo
To the love, I left my conscience pressed
Between the pages of the Bible in the drawer
As Amara performed, memories ran through her head. Painful ones of her unrequited love. Memories of Ryan.
What did it ever do for me I say
It never calls me when I'm down
Love never wanted me
But I took it anyway
Ugly reminders of horrible exs flashed before her. Her voice grew stronger as she felt the pain flow out of her mouth with the lyrics.
Put your ear to the speaker
And choose love or sympathy
But never both
Love never wanted me
Amara was now looking in my direction. Her sorrowful eyes piercing mine. I know she who she was thinking about. Her first boyfriend that used her and treated her like shit.
... Hey tear catcher, that's all that you are
And ever were...
It hurt me seeing her like that. Why would she choose it though? First it was therapy to heal the wounds, why would she sing it now and just remind herself of something in the past?
I couldn't stop watching her. It's funny, I remember trying to teach her the chords but she kept getting frustrated so we just stuck to a basic acoustic version. She's really improved; guess she practiced when I wasn't around. I've only heard her sing this song a few times, but there's something different from last time. It's much stronger; the source isn't as fragile anymore.
/"What did it ever do for me" I say.../ she finished and we all applauded. "Whoo go girl!" yelled Lace. Amara held my gaze for two intimate seconds and all I could do was give a small smile.
Wow. I love her voice. The passion behind it makes it so beautiful. I'm never going to be able to get over her. She walked past me and went to sit down on Pete's lap. Resentment and animosity growing towards them.
"So who's next?" Joe asked. "Spencer!"
"Lacey hun, got a request?" he asked his girlfriend.
"You know the one," she smiled. Spence, Jon, Brendon and I took our positions. "Brendon can just sing this one, and I'll play drums," Spence said. "Yea I'm just going to play too" "Awww come on Ry, we sound great when you sing back up."
"Yea we'll see.." I shrugged. My heart wasn't in it as I looked over at Pete and Amara. Brendon began...
Drink down your Gin and Kerosene,
And come spit on bridges with me...
Brendon's voice suddenly reached inside me and sparked a fire. My heart suddenly was overwhelmed with the urge to join in.
/I keep my jealousy close.../
I sang along with him. The suddenness surprised everyone, but Brendon just turned around and smiled encouragingly. /'Cause it's all mine.../ I sang out alone.
Brendon regained his voice and continued, /And if you say this makes you happy.../
I joined in... /Then I'm not the only one lying.../
We continued to sing together. Brendon predominantly with my occasional singing when I felt was necessary. This song hits close to home, it hits close to Amara. She was still sitting on Pete's lap but she was watching us intently. I felt she was watching me intently. My subconscious was trying to use this song and its lyrics as a way of confessing how I feel. It's what I love and hate about music. How it can tell a story but how it's frequently misinterpreted.
Keep quiet,
Nothing comes as easy as you.
Can I lay in your bed all day?
I'll be your best kept secret
And your biggest mistake.
The hand behind this pen relives a failure every day.
So wear me like a locket around your throat.
I'll weigh you down.
I'll watch you choke.
You look so good in blue.
You look so good in blue.
I joined in the second time round. Keeping eye contact with Amara as much as possible, but not to the point where it looked suss.
Once it was over, part of me felt better and relieved. I know it's going to take a long time of me to get over Amara, but now I'm not giving up without some kind of fight.
Patrick got up and smirked. "Nice one boys.. but I got one better for you. /'Oh well imagine..'/"
*
AUTHOR'S NOTE: VIDEO 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-vik_6l80U
I suggested this video because Pat's voice isn't drowned out by the crowd singing, and you get to hear the transition.
*
Patrick, Andy, Joe and Pete performed their version of I Write Sins Not Tragedies.
Then after Patrick finished /"Pour the champagne, Pour the champagne..." they transitioned into /Sugar, We're Goin' Down. I have to admit it was pretty cool.
Amara's POV
The singing went into the long hours of the night. It was so much fun. It was the first time I had ever performed in front of more than one other person. We eventually crashed for the night, some in the studio, some in the lounge, and some in their bunks for those who managed to get there. The tour bus drove past the hotel and then parked near the venue. We got out and stretched our legs. There were some teenies camped out front so we snuck out to a secluded nearby café for lunch. Afterwards we headed back to the hotel.
I decided to relax in the hotel room, while everyone else then went their separate ways. I started watching Jon's box set of the OC on his laptop but I soon grew tired of it. I checked my emails but nothing new. I started drawing, the events of last night playing in my head. I smiled at the thought of Pete singing ot me. I then got a shiver as I remembered Ryan's words during Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner. It reminded me of his ex Jac. Ryan was probably thinking the same. His voice is so haunting and beautiful at the same time. I reckoned he should have sung on the album, but I'm sure he's going to sing during their live performances.
The sound of a received I.M brought me out of my thoughts.
MINE4EVER: you cantt be with him
GRND.THFT.TMN: who is this?
MINE4EVER: you cantt be with him
Goshhhh this person is annoying. "OI WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"
I jumped out of my skin. "GOSHHHHHHHHHHH Napoleon!! Must you really? You scared me!"
"Sorry babe, I was just kidding." Lace laughed. "Something the matter?"
"Nah don't worry. So how come you're back so soon?"
"Well I was with Spence, Brendon and Patrick. Then we started getting followed by a group of teenies. I think they recognized Pat first, anyway they started screaming about how Petrick babies would be hot, and some crap. Oh god imagine after tomorrow night. It'll get worse with the boys. I hope they just focus on Brendon, or Jon or even Ryan and stay away from my man. You know how much they annoy me. If they start yelling they want Spencer's babies, someone's gonna get a hurt real bad."
I laughed at the last bit because she reminded me of Russell Peters. "Hey... do you happen to know anyone with the I.M, 'MINE4EVER'?"
"Nah, but I bet it's probably those damn girls again. The other day after they posted online that Panic! was the support I got one from some 'DONTEVENTHINKABOUTIT' telling me to stay away from Ryan. That cracked me up."
I felt slightly relieved and laughed. "It's funny how fast people can find details about you. Teenies are crazy, they even know what you eat for breakfast. It's so extreme. I guess I forgot stalkers come with their fame."
"Yea, just give them shit but be careful cause some of them look like they could kill. On the way back, me and Spence heard some girl going about how she loves Fall Out Boy cause Pete's hot, so when we walked pass her I said, 'OH MY FREAKING GOD! Fall Out Boy is like totally nowhere near as good as MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE!' I stirred her so bad she looked like she was going to hit me. She was then all... 'NO WAYYYYYYYYY My Chemical Romance is as good as them!! OH MY GOD! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!?!' I hoped I made her cry."
By now, everyone had made their way back to the hotel room. For the rest of the afternoon we talked about the fame and the craziest things fans have done to the Fall Out Boy guys.
*
I usually hate it when people put in Panic's ex girlfriends in their fic just cause they're jealous and can bag em out and make them into the bad guy. Anyway this is not the case. I thought I'd just use Jac because readers will most likely visualize her and can draw images from there. I do not know her, own her, or have ever met her, therefore nor do I like or dislike her, and nor to I claim to.
Also, I hoped the videos helped or were influential. Let me know if it did. Anyway, thank you to all my readers and reviewers. Take care, byee!
EDIT: a belated anecdote. I was reading over this chapter & i thought i'd let you know i actual did witness some teeny say "OH MY GOD! NO WAY! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!?!" when some older girl said she loves FOB but thinks MCR is better. This was in a FOB concert line. The teeny depressed me, but then the image of her on the verge of tears made my day (other than the concert of course) ..
forgive me for being cynical. do you still love me? =] M W A
PS: if you want to load the video now so you're not waiting later here's the links.
VIDEO 1 -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNg_48GaoME
VIDEO 2 -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-vik_6l80U
*
Chapter 8: you sing the words but don't know what it means.
Amara's POV
"A month ago who would have thought that we'd get signed and record our first album." "AND now be on our way to tour with Fall Out Boy." I overheard Spencer talking to Jon.
Time had gone by so fast. And now they were all leaving to tour together, and lucky me would be stuck here. Alone. With my meaningless uni.
I left without a goodbye and headed for my usual lunch date with Pete. When I arrived, my thoughts had consumed me with bitterness and my foul mood had grown.
"What's up baby?" he asked me.
"Nothing," I replied with much animosity.
"Amara, stop being a lying biatch and fess up."
"EXCUSE ME!?! I'M the bitch!?! YOU'RE the jerk who's leaving me behind to go tour. You're leaving in less than TWO days. I'm not going to see you for months at a time, and we're spending our last moments having coffee. Whoop-dee-doo how freakin' memorable!!" I exploded.
He smirked. /Crap/, I hate it when I let him stir me. "Now doesn't that feel better?" he smiled calmly. Not wanting to attract any further attention, I just sat quietly after causing that scene. "Amara I've wanted to ask you something. I just had to do some stuff before I did. So... would you like to join us on the tour?"
My insides jumped and my heart felt light again. After releasing that angst I had built up over the past few days I felt better. Instantly I was overwhelmed with excitement. Not wanting to reveal my sudden euphoria, I paused. Of course I wanted to, I finally heard the words I was pining for, I thought to myself. But why when he finally asked me was I so hesitant to say yes. "Oh but uni?"
"What about it? We both know you're not happy there. You're not even sure if it's what you want anymore, so why waste you're time here when you could be wasting time with me."
He reached down into his messenger bag and pulled out some papers. "Here. I got you the forms to defer for a year. All you have to do is say yes and fill these out."
"Oh Pete! OF COURSE! I'd love to."
Ryan's POV
[Sunday]
We left this afternoon. We were due in Chicago by Tuesday for our first performance. The bus trip only takes about eighteen hours, so we should be there by midday tomorrow. Then we'll stay the night in a hotel for a decent sleep before the show. Our first live show. Oh god. It's terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. The Chicago show sold out months ago, but only announced us as the support less than a week ago.
When we first stepped onto the bus it was everything I had pictured and more. The bus seemed to stretch for miles. The bunks were at the back, and before that the bathroom, living area, a mini studio and then the kitchen. Everyone, other than Fall Out Boy, took in this unfamiliar surrounding. Amara, Jon, Lace, Bren, Spence and I were like tourists. The others just smiled watching us seeing as they were already used to this lifestyle. We were all sharing the one bus for the trip but we'd be getting our own separate tour bus later on. With Fall Out Boy, Panic, Amara, Lacey, Dirty (FOB's merch guy), Zach (our new bodyguard) and plus the bus driver all on the one bus, the large tour bus didn't seem so big anymore.
At first we sat around watching Disney and Pixar movies. Afterwards some of the boys needed to regain their manliness and started Guitar Hero. Pete and Spencer had grown tiresome of losing to Brendon and made their way over to the on-bus studio. I laid on the couch and watched Pete strumming the intro to Dance Dance. Brendon, on his way to the kitchen, started subconsciously singing. "She said she's no good with words but I'm worse..." He sang along.
"Dude, you're supposed to be practicing our songs. Not theirs!" Spencer feinting annoyance. Brendon hadn't noticed them in the studio area, his mind intent on the possible the contents of the fridge and the lack of contents in his stomach.
"And anyway. you can't sing it as good as me," mocked Patrick as he walked in.
Jon looked up from his laptop. "Whoa stand back and make room for Pat's ego."
"Wanna make a bet Stumpy," Brendon said defensively.
Spencer looked back and forth at the two lead singers, "Oh joy. I feel a singing contest coming up."
"Oh it is on!" smirked Patrick.
Amara and Lacey appeared from the hallway. "Did I hear singing contest?"
"Open mic night! B0o yah! Count me in," grinned Pete.
"Pete you don't sing. You know you're screamo." Joe corrected him. He was followed by Andy.
"I can sing. And those are my words," he argued.
Andy countered with, "You know just cause you're a lyricist doesn't always mean you can sing-sing. We know you gotta voice but I'm sorry it's not as good as Trick's."
"guyssss... it was gonna be me versus Patrick," Brendon whined.
"Oh, quit being selfish, everyone should have a go! It'll be fun, we need something to kill the time," said Lacey. "If you really want in the end everyone will vote between you and Patrick kz?"
"Ummm it's okay I'll just play guitar," I spoke up.
Amara looked at me with puppy dog eyes. "aww come on Ry. It'll be fun."
"So they keep telling me."
"Come on butthead." Her smile seducing me to listen. "Ah k, I'll do it if I can do backup vocals and duet with any of the guys."
Jon stood up. "Ah k just for some order, we'll each pull a number out of the hat. You can do a solo or duet or whatever. Two rules. No meanies and should we restrict song choices to something other than what you band sings?
Pete put his hand up. "Yes, Mr. Wentz we are not in kindergarten anymore," taunted Jon. Pete immaturely stuck his tongue out. "Can I sing one Fall Out Boy song please," he smiled eagerly. "Technically... I don't sing all of them, Patrick sings them. And apparently technically I don't sing but scream."
"Okay, whatever," we all laughed.
Pete got number 1. "I'll show you screamo," he smirked. He then leaned over to Amara and whispered, "Ummm. What should I sing?" "are you kidding?" she chuckled. "after your little objection to the rules. Haha ummm I don't know just not XO. Ummm I cant think I have too many. You just choose!"
"Oh, I know exactly what to sing!" He said suggestively raising his eyebrows.
Pete got Jon, Joe and Andy to play. He whispered his request into their ears. A familiar beat started, and then Pete started to sing.
/Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.../
His eyes fixated on Amara, who returned his gaze.
You only hold me up like this
'Cause you don't know who I really am
Sometimes I just want to know what it's like to be you
We're making out inside crashed cars
He winks at her. He's actually got a decent singing voice. Better than mine anyway.
We're sleeping through all our memories
I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive
now I only waste it dreaming of you.
Pete nods his head towards Amara.
Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness
'Cause all of our moves make up for the silence
And oh, the way your makeup stains my pillowcase
Like I'll never be the same
They continued to hold each other's gaze. Chemistry increasing intensity as he continued his version of a love song. My insides feeling sick with jealousy. Painful assumptions running through my head as I literally took in his words.
I've got headaches and bad luck but they couldn't touch you, no
I've got headaches and bad luck but they couldn't touch you, no
I'm not trying
You only hold me up like this!!
Pete finished. Several in awe of rarely hearing Pete sound so.. so.. so much sweeter than his trademark screaming. Amara was the only one who got up. She smiled and went up to hug him. "You're turn girlfriend."
She froze on the spot. "ummm on yea I got second. Hey Bren, can I borrow your acoustic?"
*
AUTHOR'S NOTE: VIDEO 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNg_48GaoME
Closest thing I could find to portraying what I wanted. I doesn't have as much strength/power as I had hoped but it's not bad.
*
"This song is one of my favourites, but more so I choose it cause it's the only one I can sing half decently to. Ry, this is the product of many unsuccessful lessons with you," she beamed at him.
She started to strum the guitar. An innocent and nervous voice resonated out.
I comb the crowd and pick you out
My mouth moves too fast for you to figure it out
It starts eyes closed to fingers crossed
She concentrated hard on the guitar strings. She finally looked up at all of us. When I caught her gaze I gave her a warm and encouraging smile.
To "I swear, I say"
To "I swear, I say"
The nervousness suddenly disappeared, and the room was filled with a sweet, soulful sound full of emotion.
To hands between legs, to whatever it takes
To drinks at the club to the bar
To the keys to your car
To hotel stairs to the emergency exit door, nooo
To the love, I left my conscience pressed
Between the pages of the Bible in the drawer
As Amara performed, memories ran through her head. Painful ones of her unrequited love. Memories of Ryan.
What did it ever do for me I say
It never calls me when I'm down
Love never wanted me
But I took it anyway
Ugly reminders of horrible exs flashed before her. Her voice grew stronger as she felt the pain flow out of her mouth with the lyrics.
Put your ear to the speaker
And choose love or sympathy
But never both
Love never wanted me
Amara was now looking in my direction. Her sorrowful eyes piercing mine. I know she who she was thinking about. Her first boyfriend that used her and treated her like shit.
... Hey tear catcher, that's all that you are
And ever were...
It hurt me seeing her like that. Why would she choose it though? First it was therapy to heal the wounds, why would she sing it now and just remind herself of something in the past?
I couldn't stop watching her. It's funny, I remember trying to teach her the chords but she kept getting frustrated so we just stuck to a basic acoustic version. She's really improved; guess she practiced when I wasn't around. I've only heard her sing this song a few times, but there's something different from last time. It's much stronger; the source isn't as fragile anymore.
/"What did it ever do for me" I say.../ she finished and we all applauded. "Whoo go girl!" yelled Lace. Amara held my gaze for two intimate seconds and all I could do was give a small smile.
Wow. I love her voice. The passion behind it makes it so beautiful. I'm never going to be able to get over her. She walked past me and went to sit down on Pete's lap. Resentment and animosity growing towards them.
"So who's next?" Joe asked. "Spencer!"
"Lacey hun, got a request?" he asked his girlfriend.
"You know the one," she smiled. Spence, Jon, Brendon and I took our positions. "Brendon can just sing this one, and I'll play drums," Spence said. "Yea I'm just going to play too" "Awww come on Ry, we sound great when you sing back up."
"Yea we'll see.." I shrugged. My heart wasn't in it as I looked over at Pete and Amara. Brendon began...
Drink down your Gin and Kerosene,
And come spit on bridges with me...
Brendon's voice suddenly reached inside me and sparked a fire. My heart suddenly was overwhelmed with the urge to join in.
/I keep my jealousy close.../
I sang along with him. The suddenness surprised everyone, but Brendon just turned around and smiled encouragingly. /'Cause it's all mine.../ I sang out alone.
Brendon regained his voice and continued, /And if you say this makes you happy.../
I joined in... /Then I'm not the only one lying.../
We continued to sing together. Brendon predominantly with my occasional singing when I felt was necessary. This song hits close to home, it hits close to Amara. She was still sitting on Pete's lap but she was watching us intently. I felt she was watching me intently. My subconscious was trying to use this song and its lyrics as a way of confessing how I feel. It's what I love and hate about music. How it can tell a story but how it's frequently misinterpreted.
Keep quiet,
Nothing comes as easy as you.
Can I lay in your bed all day?
I'll be your best kept secret
And your biggest mistake.
The hand behind this pen relives a failure every day.
So wear me like a locket around your throat.
I'll weigh you down.
I'll watch you choke.
You look so good in blue.
You look so good in blue.
I joined in the second time round. Keeping eye contact with Amara as much as possible, but not to the point where it looked suss.
Once it was over, part of me felt better and relieved. I know it's going to take a long time of me to get over Amara, but now I'm not giving up without some kind of fight.
Patrick got up and smirked. "Nice one boys.. but I got one better for you. /'Oh well imagine..'/"
*
AUTHOR'S NOTE: VIDEO 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-vik_6l80U
I suggested this video because Pat's voice isn't drowned out by the crowd singing, and you get to hear the transition.
*
Patrick, Andy, Joe and Pete performed their version of I Write Sins Not Tragedies.
Then after Patrick finished /"Pour the champagne, Pour the champagne..." they transitioned into /Sugar, We're Goin' Down. I have to admit it was pretty cool.
Amara's POV
The singing went into the long hours of the night. It was so much fun. It was the first time I had ever performed in front of more than one other person. We eventually crashed for the night, some in the studio, some in the lounge, and some in their bunks for those who managed to get there. The tour bus drove past the hotel and then parked near the venue. We got out and stretched our legs. There were some teenies camped out front so we snuck out to a secluded nearby café for lunch. Afterwards we headed back to the hotel.
I decided to relax in the hotel room, while everyone else then went their separate ways. I started watching Jon's box set of the OC on his laptop but I soon grew tired of it. I checked my emails but nothing new. I started drawing, the events of last night playing in my head. I smiled at the thought of Pete singing ot me. I then got a shiver as I remembered Ryan's words during Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner. It reminded me of his ex Jac. Ryan was probably thinking the same. His voice is so haunting and beautiful at the same time. I reckoned he should have sung on the album, but I'm sure he's going to sing during their live performances.
The sound of a received I.M brought me out of my thoughts.
MINE4EVER: you cantt be with him
GRND.THFT.TMN: who is this?
MINE4EVER: you cantt be with him
Goshhhh this person is annoying. "OI WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"
I jumped out of my skin. "GOSHHHHHHHHHHH Napoleon!! Must you really? You scared me!"
"Sorry babe, I was just kidding." Lace laughed. "Something the matter?"
"Nah don't worry. So how come you're back so soon?"
"Well I was with Spence, Brendon and Patrick. Then we started getting followed by a group of teenies. I think they recognized Pat first, anyway they started screaming about how Petrick babies would be hot, and some crap. Oh god imagine after tomorrow night. It'll get worse with the boys. I hope they just focus on Brendon, or Jon or even Ryan and stay away from my man. You know how much they annoy me. If they start yelling they want Spencer's babies, someone's gonna get a hurt real bad."
I laughed at the last bit because she reminded me of Russell Peters. "Hey... do you happen to know anyone with the I.M, 'MINE4EVER'?"
"Nah, but I bet it's probably those damn girls again. The other day after they posted online that Panic! was the support I got one from some 'DONTEVENTHINKABOUTIT' telling me to stay away from Ryan. That cracked me up."
I felt slightly relieved and laughed. "It's funny how fast people can find details about you. Teenies are crazy, they even know what you eat for breakfast. It's so extreme. I guess I forgot stalkers come with their fame."
"Yea, just give them shit but be careful cause some of them look like they could kill. On the way back, me and Spence heard some girl going about how she loves Fall Out Boy cause Pete's hot, so when we walked pass her I said, 'OH MY FREAKING GOD! Fall Out Boy is like totally nowhere near as good as MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE!' I stirred her so bad she looked like she was going to hit me. She was then all... 'NO WAYYYYYYYYY My Chemical Romance is as good as them!! OH MY GOD! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!?!' I hoped I made her cry."
By now, everyone had made their way back to the hotel room. For the rest of the afternoon we talked about the fame and the craziest things fans have done to the Fall Out Boy guys.
*
I usually hate it when people put in Panic's ex girlfriends in their fic just cause they're jealous and can bag em out and make them into the bad guy. Anyway this is not the case. I thought I'd just use Jac because readers will most likely visualize her and can draw images from there. I do not know her, own her, or have ever met her, therefore nor do I like or dislike her, and nor to I claim to.
Also, I hoped the videos helped or were influential. Let me know if it did. Anyway, thank you to all my readers and reviewers. Take care, byee!
EDIT: a belated anecdote. I was reading over this chapter & i thought i'd let you know i actual did witness some teeny say "OH MY GOD! NO WAY! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!?!" when some older girl said she loves FOB but thinks MCR is better. This was in a FOB concert line. The teeny depressed me, but then the image of her on the verge of tears made my day (other than the concert of course) ..
forgive me for being cynical. do you still love me? =] M W A
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