FicWad

Orlando looked at the computer. A nervous tic had started around his right eye. Why did he have to do this again?... Viggo had denied to use it and got away with it. He looked over at the girl with such high demands, standing with her arms crossed and a lifted eyebrow. Those arms were shaping the perfect frame for...
"Orlando. Get to it." He put on his famous wet-puppy-eyes. "Orli!" Her voice became demanding. She pointed at the office chair by the desk. With that. With that... MACHINE... on it. He looked down at the floor and slowly crept down in the office chair. He looked up again.
"Orlando, din ko! Det' Leth!" Her optimism didn't seem to rub off. "Kom så!" she ordered in a warning tone, "it's either this or hoovering." He pressed the On/Off button, and the computer started. He observed it as it started all the different programs - antivirus, messengers, music download... He looked up at her. She was getting herself a piece of bubble gum.
"What's that?" he asked, pointing at the music download program. She walked up behind him, placing her hands on the back of the chair.
"You have a favorite piece of music?" she asked him. He didn't think for long, perhaps because he didn't want to twist his brain more than it seemed to be at a time like this, before he answered.
"The Steward of Gondor."
"Good. Tap it in. And 'Search'," she instructed him. Soon it was downloading.
"What do I do now?" he asked, looking completely clueless.
"Internet Explorer. The turkish E with an orbit. You have to double click, love!" she laughed, seeing that he had no clue hat exactly to do with the mouse and its marker. He finally got it, and they managed to get to an e-mail provider, and signed him up for his very first e-mail. She had slowly started to treat him with soft kisses on the free skin appearing around the neck of his shirt, running her hand over accessible parts of his body, as he got better at finding the clues about where to go and what to do. As he had succeeded with signing up himself and completing his profile as he pleased, he looked up at her with a victorious smile.
"All done! What did I win?"
"You remember 'Swordfish', right? Do you remember the scene in which Hugh Jackman has to hack into another system in 60 seconds while having a gun held to his head and a girl giving him a blowjob, and John Travolta and his gang surveiling him?" she asked calmly as his smile faded.
"You're not going to do that to me, are you?" he asked with a frightened face, "I couldn't enjoy such a thing!"
"Why not? It might set our relationship into a spring of perfect bloom," she answered, and suddenly realised how that last sentence had come out. She grinned and kissed him. "Just go to the nearest search engine," she said with an evil smile on her face. He found one - directed by her - and without thinking about it searched on Perfect Bloom.

He couldn't stop an outburst as he eyed the outcome. He heard a sound of surprise behind him, as he felt her jump backwards - she had been right about to kiss his hair.What the heck?... Listings of all of his movies and his co-stars?... People actually writing stories and new outlines on them?...
"Ah, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau... I like this place already!" she laughed behind him. He remained in the same position with a worried face. He was actually a bit scared. And she even knew about this!
"What is all this?!" he asked.
"Uhm... Orli... You've got - "
"What? No! What is that?" he asked, still looking at the screen.
"Uhm... Gum, honey..."
"No! That!" He pointed at the screen.
"Fanfiction!" she told him, "Fans have fantasies about you, ya know. And other people. And plots. You knew that... Right?..." She looked at him with a questionning face. He turned to face her, looking even more worried.
"Do I look like I knew?!"
"Guess not..." she admitted. He suddenly looked a bit confused.
"Gum?..."
"Yeah... You kinda scared me with that outburst, and I was about to kiss you... So now you've got pink bubble gum in your hair." Now he looked even more like a wet puppy than before. "Don't worry, I'll get it out with some nail polish remover..." she turned to get it.

"Listen, some of it is actually funny to read," she told him as she rubbed the last gum out of his hair, "and some of it could be used in a very practical way," she ended quietly and kissed his lips softly. He slowly got up, moving away, sitting himself down in a nearby couch. "Didn't you have some hoovering to do?" she asked him. He got up and went to get the Hoover. She sat down in front of the computer and started to search and write down on her own. Finally, she printed out something, and started beta-reading it.
He finally mad it to the room with the noisy vacuum machine - the Hoover. He looked up, and practically stumbled over the cords: She had stripped down to bra and jeans, and was reading some prints from the computer. She looked up by the unusual noise - that definitely wasn't the Hoover - and cracked up laughing. She hurried over to help him up. She handed the prints to him. He started to read, recognizing her style of writing. She could tell from his face that he was slowly starting to get mushy. She looked down to discover a growing bump in his pants.
"So?..." she asked with a teasing smile on her face, "You like it?"
"I... Eh..." he stuttered. She slowly moved closer to him, loosened his pants, and moved her hands up under his shirt while kissing him passionately...